Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 485872

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

falling

Posted by rubenstein on April 18, 2005, at 10:59:30

I am falling. My therapist knows, my friends know, I just can't get myself out of it. My T wants me to just be... stop trying so hard to get better, no more books, no more magazines, no more anaylzing why I feel some way and to simply feel it. But I feel awful, and so sad.... I feel like I have fallen and can't get back out again and I hate being needy and being that patient who needs the extra help and that friend that can't get her stuff together.
If anyone understands or has any advice please resoind, I could use any help that I can get right now.
I am so scared
rubenstein

 

Re: falling rubenstein

Posted by Dinah on April 18, 2005, at 11:18:30

In reply to falling, posted by rubenstein on April 18, 2005, at 10:59:30

I don't have any brilliant thing to say. I've been there myself.

I suppose the only thing I have to say, other than general commiseration, is that what falls drastically generally bobs back up. It doesn't last forever. We might need to grab onto others while we're falling, but it will get better. Just hang on to whoever or whatever is available and don't feel guilty about it.

 

Re: falling rubenstein

Posted by Tamar on April 18, 2005, at 11:32:08

In reply to falling, posted by rubenstein on April 18, 2005, at 10:59:30

That is a scary feeling, and I can certainly understand it. You can't force things to get better, but eventually it gets better. In the meantime, try not to feel too guilty about needing support. True friends will understand and be happy to help in any way they can. And I'm sure your T wants to give you as much support as possible.

I hope it starts to get better soon.

Tamar

 

Re: falling

Posted by annierose on April 18, 2005, at 17:33:48

In reply to falling, posted by rubenstein on April 18, 2005, at 10:59:30

Sorry to hear you find yourself in that dark space. But the good news is it does pass. Can you try to take your T's suggestions, and just feel the pain? I think I remember you go 2x a week, so you'll have his support to help you through it.

All friends help each other out. Now it's your turn to lean on them. They want to help you. You are always helpful and thoughtful to others right here on babble. I hope the darkness lifts soon.

 

Re: falling rubenstein

Posted by fallsfall on April 18, 2005, at 20:23:18

In reply to falling, posted by rubenstein on April 18, 2005, at 10:59:30

I used to do what your therapist wants you to stop doing: stop trying so hard to get better, no more books, no more magazines, no more anaylzing why I feel some way and to simply feel it.

The short version of the long story is that I plan my sessions much less, rehearse them less, read almost nothing, and I'm making a lot more progress. I think that I was doing so much work because I didn't trust my therapist to be able to help me - so I figured I had to do it all myself. I don't know if I gained confidence in his ability to help me and therefore stopped trying to do it all myself, or if I stopped doing it all myself and then he was able to help me more.

I can tell when I'm losing confidence because I start reading again.

These days I usually have some idea of how I will start a session (but sometimes I don't!!!!?!). And often I know a topic or two that I want to cover. But that is all. I try hard NOT to rehearse even the first paragraph for the session. I try to be more spontaneous (which is wicked hard for me). Much to my surprise, some of my very best sessions have been sessions when I really didn't have an agenda, I didn't know what to talk about. But somehow, important stuff came out.

I found that letting go that way was incredibly scary - because I was relinquishing control. And not being in control was terrifying to me. But my therapist has proven worthy of my trust, and we are making so much more progress now.

So, at least for me, not working so hard at therapy made therapy work better for me.

This is not easy stuff.
Good luck.

 

Re: falling-gottcha

Posted by B2chica on April 19, 2005, at 9:11:57

In reply to falling, posted by rubenstein on April 18, 2005, at 10:59:30

i've got you. let yourself relax if you can. i feel like i just fought an uphill battle and i'm pumped and still in fighting mode...i am strong today, so that others can be weak and not get hurt.
Please rubenstein, all i ask is that you grab my hand...i'll take it from there. I've got you and anyone else that needs to hang on today. I've got you, hear?
i'm holding you close and TIGHT! i WON"T LET GO NO MATTER WHAT!!!

b2c.

> I am falling. My therapist knows, my friends know, I just can't get myself out of it. My T wants me to just be... stop trying so hard to get better, no more books, no more magazines, no more anaylzing why I feel some way and to simply feel it. But I feel awful, and so sad.... I feel like I have fallen and can't get back out again and I hate being needy and being that patient who needs the extra help and that friend that can't get her stuff together.
> If anyone understands or has any advice please resoind, I could use any help that I can get right now.
> I am so scared
> rubenstein

 

Re: falling

Posted by rubenstein on April 19, 2005, at 11:31:01

In reply to Re: falling rubenstein, posted by fallsfall on April 18, 2005, at 20:23:18

Thank you
all
so much
that's about all I can say today
one day at a time
rachel


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