Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 485456

Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Does Your Therapist Talk about the things

Posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 12:47:10

...that are usually left unsaid? Like, why are you wearing perfume today, you've never worn it before .. and, that's a lovely outfit. Are you going somewhere special, or did you wear it for me? Oh, you wore it for me .. why? Because I'm important to you. Yes, you're important to me, too. I care deeply about people, or I wouldn't be sitting here, across from you .. looking straight into your eyes.. not afraid to make eye contact .. but you keep looking away. Tell me, why do you look away? Is it just me you look away from, or is it others as well? Who?
Because Therapists don't seem to know, or care sometimes, that it's the things you DON'T say that are the important ones.
Sigh.

 

no, but I wish she would (nm) Susan47

Posted by thewrite1 on April 17, 2005, at 13:49:44

In reply to Does Your Therapist Talk about the things, posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 12:47:10

 

Re: Does Your Therapist Talk about the things

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on April 18, 2005, at 15:14:01

In reply to Does Your Therapist Talk about the things, posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 12:47:10

This is how I picture my very last therapy session, by tuning him into such things. LIke,

"Did you know I would dress up extra special on Thursday afternoons?"

"Did you know I spritzed on perfume in your waiting room?"

"Did you know I would have imaginary conversations with you every day?"

"Did you know that I would look forward to those chocolate brown eyes of yours for days?"

"Do you know I will carry you in my heart forever?"

At the end of our 50 minutes, we will embrace, I will feel a single tear on my neck, and he will tell me he will never forget me. sigh.

 

YES. Always.

Posted by daisym on April 19, 2005, at 2:05:46

In reply to Does Your Therapist Talk about the things, posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 12:47:10

Nothing goes unnoticed and everything is fair game. No assumptions, lots of questions. From both of us.

Except being late. Late is just late, (usually) with me. He might say, "traffic?" Yup.

Today it was,
"nice shoes. New?"
"yes. Went shopping with mom."
"Oh, how was that?"

And we move on.

btw, I think we have just as much responsibility to speak up about what we notice as they do.

 

Re: YES. Always.

Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 9:48:54

In reply to YES. Always., posted by daisym on April 19, 2005, at 2:05:46

I remember wearing this pair of heels I really love, they have laces on them and they look a bit country. And I have these red heels, (I have to go out shoe shopping as soon as I have an income again, this is awful, I need CLOTHES).
But my T would look at my shoes frequently, but never made any comment on them. He never commented on anything I wore or any way I looked, I would have to ask, as in, is my hair okay? (just removed my hat). I would be frightened that I'd gone overboard, you know because I like to dress up, it's just the way I am, and sometimes my style of dress was a bit out there. And he would kind of look but not say anything. And I'd be thinking, does he think I'm too old to be wearing this but he's just not saying? Because my MIL wears the most revealing clothes and she's in her late seventies and should NOT be dressing the way she does, she's a wreck and it's embarrassing, you know, to see people with so little dignity ... and I was always terribly afraid I had no dignity, because I really wanted him to find me nice to look at, not embarrassing. It was crushing to never know. Just crushing. Because he would look, you know, and I never ever knew what was going through the mind.

 

I'm Weird

Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 15:20:34

In reply to Re: YES. Always., posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 9:48:54

I've changed my outfit three times today. And I can't get it right. No matter what I'm wearing, it feels wrong. And I go out in a good mood and I come home in a bad mood. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwllllllllllllllllllllllll.

 

Very Often Susan47

Posted by Poet on April 19, 2005, at 19:35:41

In reply to Does Your Therapist Talk about the things, posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 12:47:10

Hi Susan,

My therapist notices what I am wearing, she tells me I look good in a certain color. Sometimes I think it's just a little self-esteem boost, since mine is generally in the minus zone, but I find myself buying more stuff in that color range.

She lets me borrow her reading glasses, too. Especially when I am writing out a check to her.

Poet

 

Re: Very Often Poet

Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 21:31:22

In reply to Very Often Susan47, posted by Poet on April 19, 2005, at 19:35:41

That is a lovely, sweet picture. Sigh.

 

Re: devil's advocate, Suze...

Posted by sunny10 on April 20, 2005, at 11:50:29

In reply to Re: Very Often Poet, posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 21:31:22

you mentioned changing outfits three times 'cause you didn't feel right with the other two outfits...

Is it at all possible that T was purposefully trying to pull your thoughts away from your appearance? That he knows that how we dress is often a reflection of how we feel inside? Some of us dress up, put on makeup, et cetera when we feel we need an armour... maybe he thought you were doing that and he wanted to talk about why you feel the need to look good for him instead of "what pretty shoes you're wearing"?

And, if I may be frank with you again regarding him- I'm still convinced that he was attracted to you in a way that was not appropriate for a T-client relationship and went out of his way to NEVER mention anything about how you looked...

just my opinion...

 

Re: devil's advocate, Suze...

Posted by Susan47 on April 20, 2005, at 13:02:13

In reply to Re: devil's advocate, Suze..., posted by sunny10 on April 20, 2005, at 11:50:29

No, I ALWAYS feel the need to look good. It wasn't just him. He exacerbated my feelings of insecurity about the way I look. Tremendously so. To the point that I would actually ask him if I looked too wacky.

 

Re: devil's advocate, Suze...

Posted by Susan47 on April 20, 2005, at 13:05:07

In reply to Re: devil's advocate, Suze..., posted by sunny10 on April 20, 2005, at 11:50:29

Hmh. The thing about him being attracted. Well, not just him. Okay any guy that is attracted, right? Well, I have a habit of turning them away before any consideration is ever given. But this morning, this morning I considered a man a bit closer than usual. At first glace he's just lovely, you know? Nice, a bit eager, you know how men are sometimes. But I didn't feel the insecurity, you know, coming from him .. not so much ... and I really liked that. He's well over six feet tall, dark, kind of my type but not QUITE enough edges on him ... I like edge. Oh, dear. Maybe I should change my vision of what I like. Because I've noticed lately that men who are short-tempered and cold no longer attract me the way they used to. That's nice.

 

Re: yes, that sounds like a good change Susan47

Posted by sunny10 on April 21, 2005, at 8:00:25

In reply to Re: devil's advocate, Suze..., posted by Susan47 on April 20, 2005, at 13:05:07

edgy men are the ones who wind up hurting us.

Better to stay away from them.

 

Re: yes, that sounds like a good change

Posted by Susan47 on April 21, 2005, at 9:38:43

In reply to Re: yes, that sounds like a good change Susan47, posted by sunny10 on April 21, 2005, at 8:00:25

But edge is exciting. I have a hard time letting that go.

 

Re: exciting hurts (nm) Susan47

Posted by sunny10 on April 21, 2005, at 12:44:12

In reply to Re: yes, that sounds like a good change, posted by Susan47 on April 21, 2005, at 9:38:43


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