Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 456245

Shown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Caring

Posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28

He said "I do care for you, and I care for the treatment". Boy do I wish I had a tape recorder with me...

It was such a great session (see my "resentment" post, too). He talked a lot - more than half the session was almost a monologue from him. He promised that he wouldn't refuse to see me when I got better (notice the "when", boys and girls). He said that as I got better that therapy "got better" - meaning that he was looking forward to me getting better, but not so he could get rid of me.

I came home and shovelled my front walk. What a beautiful morning it is here. The trees are still covered with snow. We got about 4 inches which is enough to make everything pretty, but not enough to really get in the way.

I want to call him and say "Thank you. I feel great." Can I call him?

 

Yes! fallsfall

Posted by Aphrodite on February 11, 2005, at 11:23:18

In reply to Caring, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28


> Can I call him?

Absolutely!!! I hope you do! Can you just imagine how infrequent such a sentiment is in that line of work? I'm sure you'll make his day!

More importantly, I hope the feeling is sustainable for you. Enjoy every moment -- sounds like a lovely day!

 

Re: Caring fallsfall

Posted by Pfinstegg on February 11, 2005, at 11:35:46

In reply to Caring, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28

Oh, that's just wonderful! You are already getting better- he knows it, and you probably do too. And the bond between you is becoming deeper and more meaningful, and therapy more exciting and rewarding for both of you. It's your dream coming true!

I'd say, call and tell him how thrilled and thankful you are! They probably don't get so many calls like that.

 

Re: Caring fallsfall

Posted by mair on February 11, 2005, at 11:47:29

In reply to Caring, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28

I'd say yes too, although my T observed yesterday that everytime I actually acknowledge to her the deepening connection I feel, I come back the next session feeling like I need to retrench and draw back.

But you sound much too happy not to express it.

Mair

 

Re: Caring

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 11, 2005, at 12:00:49

In reply to Caring, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28

Call him for sure! Or, write a short thank you. I often times think Ts may like these little notes as they're something tangible and they can maybe look back on them when things aren't going well...

 

Re: Caring

Posted by pinkeye on February 11, 2005, at 13:45:07

In reply to Caring, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28

Sure why not? Call him and let him know how much you cherised it.

 

yes yes yes! fallsfall

Posted by Shortelise on February 11, 2005, at 14:58:02

In reply to Caring, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28

What a wonderufl post, and how good you must feel!

You have my encouragement to call him. I think it would be a lovely thing to do.

ShortE

 

Re: Caring

Posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 15:15:54

In reply to Caring, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28

How wonderful for you, I hope you have a fabulous week until you get to see him again. :)

 

Oh, yes, definitely do! fallsfall

Posted by 10derHeart on February 11, 2005, at 15:18:17

In reply to Caring, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:53:28

I used to email my T. when I felt this way. One time in particular I recall, I could tell he was deeply touched, because he was only able to respond by saying thanks, and that there was more, but that some things can't be expressed by "mere words." For him, that was something huge, because although a kind and gentle soul, he guarded his feelings about my gratitude toward him (or anything else) quite closely.

When I got to know him better much later, he told me several times most T's don't know till years later if therapy really helped, they wish for more feedback just like you're thinking of now, and that with some clients they don't get any kind of thanks at all. He meant it in the sense they wonder a lot if their way of working, and how sessions play out, really feels good and healing to some clients, but it just would cross boundaries to come out and ask. So they're left wondering. And frankly, being human after all, *I* knew he also meant that anyone who works so hard and cares so much just wants some simple gratitude from time to time.

Falls, he will love it, and I'll bet the way you sound, so will you. I was a bit too shy to call, so email it was. You sound great and I'm so happy you had such a session. Loved reading all your posts! Yeah for Falls!! - 10derHeart

 

Re: Oh, yes, definitely do!

Posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 16:18:54

In reply to Oh, yes, definitely do! fallsfall, posted by 10derHeart on February 11, 2005, at 15:18:17

Being appreciated is huge to people, it matters a great deal. I never used to hesitate in expressing my appreciation to everyone who was kind to me, but it's only in recent years that I've had real appreciation for who I am expressed to me. It makes me feel better about myself, of course, which makes me behave better, and the great circle of reinforcement begins.
Man, my poor ex-T must've dreaded seeing me walk in. Ouchie ouch ouch. Huge sigh of relief when she's gone. (Sigh)

 

OK, I called

Posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 17:07:04

In reply to Re: Oh, yes, definitely do!, posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 16:18:54

I thanked him for the work he is doing, and told him I was feeling really good. I said that I wanted to call him at least once in my life when things were going well... And I told him I'd see him on Monday, so he won't need to call me back.

Thanks for all of your enthusiasm. It really is nice to feel good for once. My daughter and I are going shopping tonight.

 

Super!!! (nm) fallsfall

Posted by Pfinstegg on February 11, 2005, at 17:14:05

In reply to OK, I called, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 17:07:04

 

Re: OK, I called fallsfall

Posted by Aphrodite on February 11, 2005, at 17:35:34

In reply to OK, I called, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 17:07:04

Shopping while in a great mood?!?!? You may reach euphoria!

 

:-) fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on February 11, 2005, at 19:02:00

In reply to OK, I called, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 17:07:04

I think you hit a terrific note with that call.

 

Yes, it's a good feeling. (nm) fallsfall

Posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 19:43:58

In reply to OK, I called, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 17:07:04

 

Re: OK, I called fallsfall

Posted by crushedout on February 12, 2005, at 1:51:24

In reply to OK, I called, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 17:07:04


That's a great story falls. I love picturing you shoveling your walk and the beautiful snow.

You deserve to be happy.

 

Re: OK, I called fallsfall

Posted by tryingtobewise on February 13, 2005, at 19:38:52

In reply to OK, I called, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 17:07:04

Hi Falls ~
In addition to having my own therapy & "issues", I also work for a therapist. I know he always really appreciates it when people check in to thank him & let him know they are doing well. Everyone likes & needs positive feedback. I think it is great that you called.

Kim

> I thanked him for the work he is doing, and told him I was feeling really good. I said that I wanted to call him at least once in my life when things were going well... And I told him I'd see him on Monday, so he won't need to call me back.
>
> Thanks for all of your enthusiasm. It really is nice to feel good for once. My daughter and I are going shopping tonight.

 

Glad you called. Sounds great

Posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2005, at 23:25:22

In reply to Re: OK, I called fallsfall, posted by tryingtobewise on February 13, 2005, at 19:38:52

Sounds like such a lovely moment. Glad you shared it with him.
gg

 

His response

Posted by fallsfall on February 14, 2005, at 11:44:59

In reply to Glad you called. Sounds great, posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2005, at 23:25:22

T: How are you?
Me: I'm doing really well. Friday I felt really good.
T: Yes, I got your phone message.
Me: I shoveled my walk when I got back from therapy. It was so beautiful outside!
T: Why do you think you felt so good?

I didn't thank him again, maybe I should have. But he wasn't looking for anything for himself. When he asked why I felt so good, it seemed like he was asking what was important to me - not what had he done that was helpful. He wasn't fishing for a compliment.

Each member of my family growing up was very self-absorbed. And there have been times when he has pushed his own agenda - that seemed "normal" to me. But today he wasn't looking for anything for *himself*. It was all about me, and that feels strange, but good. Like I matter.

I'm glad I called him on Friday. Thanks for all of your encouragement.

 

Why do you think it felt so good??

Posted by Susan47 on February 14, 2005, at 14:28:54

In reply to His response, posted by fallsfall on February 14, 2005, at 11:44:59

Oh fallsfall you lucky lucky girl you! I would've died for a lovely, positive phone call like that from my therapist, just once, something nice I said that he responded to, and I did say a lot of nice things. You and your therapist seem to have a lovely, lovely connection.

 

Re: Why do you think it felt so good?? Susan47

Posted by fallsfall on February 14, 2005, at 16:30:27

In reply to Why do you think it felt so good??, posted by Susan47 on February 14, 2005, at 14:28:54

This was in a session today (I see him 3/week).

Yes, it is a really good relationship right now. It hasn't always been this way. We spent about 6 months (at 3/week) when I was convinced that he didn't understand me at all. But going through that process seems to have been very important. It is hard really to know if I have different expectations, or if he *is* understanding me better, or both (probably both). But I know that the agony of that time was worth it because we are now able to make so much progress. And I expect it will get difficult again, and I'll slog through that, too. Therapy really isn't easy. That's why I am enjoying this time so much!

I think it felt good because when I was growing up I always had needs that noone bothered to recognize. They always had their own needs that kept their attention. So I had to fight to get my needs met - I had to *take* what I needed. But with him, today, he didn't have competing needs, so he was able to attend to me. And I didn't have to fight to get my needs met. *That* feels good.

 

:-) (nm) fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 17:55:22

In reply to His response, posted by fallsfall on February 14, 2005, at 11:44:59


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