Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 445024

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Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » Mark H.

Posted by alexandra_k on January 21, 2005, at 21:03:44

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by Mark H. on January 21, 2005, at 19:57:15

(((Mark))))

WOW! Yourself :-)

I am glad someone liked it :-)
Please feel free to pull it to pieces :-)
Really, if I can say much much much much more to be clearer or to prevent misunderstanding or whatever than all that just helps me out heaps :-)

 

Question about psychotic symptoms

Posted by Angela2 on January 22, 2005, at 15:38:55

In reply to PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by pretty_paints on January 19, 2005, at 17:32:12

Can a psychotic symptom be that you've thought people were talking about you when they really weren't? I am on an anti-psychotic right now and it is working really well. I have never had alien thoughts or the government / media is after me thoughts either. But definitely the paranoia thoughts. I've been in class rooms and have thought that the discussion that was going on was really about me. It ususally has to do with mental illness or if someone is angry about something. Like one time in my english class they were talking about a depressing poem and I thought they were all referring to me in some way. Ugh. It was really uncomfortable. I've thought that people have left the room because of me. Is this just paranoia? Or is this a delusion of grandeur? Both maybe? Does anyone know? I am partly in denial about having psychotic symptoms and being on an anti-psychotic because I hate the word. But all it really means is that one's mind breaks from reality. I prefer calling my medicine a mood stabilizer. or psychiatric medicine. My question was that are my symtoms psychotic also, because nobody mentioned it here. I think I already know the answer, I mean why else would I be taking this medicine, but could someone tell me anyway?

Sorry for all the rambling. But this is an issue that's close to my heart and something that I'm still trying to cope with and figure out.

-Angela2

 

Re: Question about psychotic symptoms » Angela2

Posted by alexandra_k on January 22, 2005, at 16:33:10

In reply to Question about psychotic symptoms, posted by Angela2 on January 22, 2005, at 15:38:55

>I've been in class rooms and have thought that the discussion that was going on was really about me. It ususally has to do with mental illness or if someone is angry about something. Like one time in my english class they were talking about a depressing poem and I thought they were all referring to me in some way. Ugh. It was really uncomfortable. I've thought that people have left the room because of me.

I have an interest in this stuff BUT I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL. So you would be wise to take this with a grain of salt. If you really want to know you would need to ask your doctor.

IMO that would be delusions of reference. Some people think that a message on the tv or radio has a special significance or meaning for them. That it is a personal message for them in some way. It sounds like sometimes you interpret conversations as being about you in some way when by the sounds of it they weren't really aimed at you.

>I am partly in denial about having psychotic symptoms and being on an anti-psychotic because I hate the word. But all it really means is that one's mind breaks from reality. I prefer calling my medicine a mood stabilizer. or psychiatric medicine.

Yeah. Though I have been on them too. Yeah, ok, so maybe I get a little psychotic at times as well ;-) Anti-psychotics can be prescribed for other reasons though, so it doesn't follow that you must be delusional just because you are on them.

 

Re: Question about psychotic symptoms » Angela2

Posted by fallsfall on January 22, 2005, at 18:09:21

In reply to Question about psychotic symptoms, posted by Angela2 on January 22, 2005, at 15:38:55

Anti-psychotics are prescribed for people who are not psychotic. They have other effects than just reducing psychosis. So, it is not a valid conclusion that because you are taking an anti-psychotic that you must, therefore, be psychotic.

Your description sounds more like paranoia to me than delusions of grandeur, but I'm not a professional. I usually find that when I voice similar concerns with my therapist that I am blowing things out of proportion (i.e. on Friday he said that some behaviors might be annoying, but they weren't pathalogical). If you can ask about these things then at least you would know. Also, just talking about things takes the edge off them lots of times - secrecy makes things more vivid.

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* *possible trigger*

Posted by Camille Dumont on January 22, 2005, at 23:29:03

In reply to PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by pretty_paints on January 19, 2005, at 17:32:12

Well, I do have visual illusions / hallucinations and strange pulsions though whether these are psychotic of simply the consequence of an overactive imaginaton coupled with SPD is still up for debate but they do fall into certain categories.

In terms of the visual stuff big recurring themes :

- Bugs, spiders, flies, insects in general ... I see them appear in the air, wallpapers will transform in to masses of twitching spiders etc ... and the funny thing is, I have no problem with bugs in general, aside from really large numbers of ants, anything else I'm ok with and willing to handle

- Dead / mutilated animals. Lots of dead cats, dead dogs, etc. I figure this is because I love animals so much

- People ... mostly as shadows, vanishing as soon as I look at them. I see them on the roof of my house, darting from teh corner of my eyes, etc.

In terms of the Mental shuff there is really only one "theme" : violence. It feels as though I have a morbidly curious freak inside my head suggesting things like : gee, wouldn't it be fun to grab that stranger there and smash his face agains the wall, I wonder what sound it would make. Or gee, I wonder how it would taste like if you'd grab that pigeon there and bit his head off, would the blood gush in your mouth or would it be mostly feather. Sometimes its directed at myself, curious pulsions about destroying / damaging my own body. Fortunately I don't feel as though I have to do what the "voice" suggests ... just annoying sometimes.

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* *possible trigger* » Camille Dumont

Posted by Angela2 on January 24, 2005, at 12:16:31

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* *possible trigger*, posted by Camille Dumont on January 22, 2005, at 23:29:03

Camille,

I found your post very interesting and it did not freak me out or disturb me in the least! Have you ever heard of the comic book "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" by Jonen Vasquez? What you described in your last paragraph reminded me a lot of this comic. It is about a guy named Johnny who does the things you think of. The illustrations are amazing and it is more funny than disturbing.

-Angela2

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » Camille Dumont

Posted by bimini on January 25, 2005, at 9:39:00

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* *possible trigger*, posted by Camille Dumont on January 22, 2005, at 23:29:03

> Well, I do have visual illusions / hallucinations and strange pulsions though whether these are psychotic or simply the consequence of an overactive imaginaton coupled with SPD is still up for debate but they do fall into certain categories.

I have visual illusions/halluzinations without any theme. An object may get "stuck" and carries over elsewhere, I think I see something but I really saw it earlier. Not always, mostly I am not aware where it came from. This changes then to infinite combos and no trigger or pattern I can discern. I can minimize confusion by avoiding rapid head movement and insisting on certain lighting. I don't know if substitutions of objects have any symbolic or symbiotic/semiotic significance.
bimini

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*

Posted by Dinah on January 25, 2005, at 9:48:00

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » Camille Dumont, posted by bimini on January 25, 2005, at 9:39:00

I hear background chatter as I go to sleep if I've been overstimulated during the day. I can't make out any of the words, but sometimes it gets to be a deafening roar. Like in a restaurant.

That's one reason the neurologist thought I have narcolepsy. For myself, I think it's overworked synapses regurgitating the day's overstimulations.

My therapist also considers me schizotypal because I have beliefs that are not shared by the majority. I sort of resent that being considered pathological.

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*

Posted by Camille Dumont on January 25, 2005, at 13:26:01

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by Dinah on January 25, 2005, at 9:48:00

> I hear background chatter as I go to sleep if I've been overstimulated during the day. I can't make out any of the words, but sometimes it gets to be a deafening roar. Like in a restaurant.
>
> That's one reason the neurologist thought I have narcolepsy. For myself, I think it's overworked synapses regurgitating the day's overstimulations.
>
> My therapist also considers me schizotypal because I have beliefs that are not shared by the majority. I sort of resent that being considered pathological.
>
>

Most of the Axis II "disorders" do seem to be a bit too judgemental in my opinion. I prefer to see them as personality "types" rather than "disorders".

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » Dinah

Posted by B2Chica on January 26, 2005, at 9:19:44

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by Dinah on January 25, 2005, at 9:48:00

i get that chatter too. it's weird. typically that's why i like to keep the tv or radio on (if i'm watching one tv i keep another one on...so it doens't freak me out-. mine only get loud (extrordinaryly loud) during my HG/HP episodes. sometimes i swear it's SO loud i'm going to blow an eardrum!
but i agree with the over stimulation concept very much. interesting that i too have the schizotypal label.
b2c.


> I hear background chatter as I go to sleep if I've been overstimulated during the day. I can't make out any of the words, but sometimes it gets to be a deafening roar. Like in a restaurant.
>
> That's one reason the neurologist thought I have narcolepsy. For myself, I think it's overworked synapses regurgitating the day's overstimulations.
>
> My therapist also considers me schizotypal because I have beliefs that are not shared by the majority. I sort of resent that being considered pathological.
>
>

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* *possible trigger* » Camille Dumont

Posted by B2Chica on January 26, 2005, at 9:31:16

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* *possible trigger*, posted by Camille Dumont on January 22, 2005, at 23:29:03

i've never thought of mine having to do with psychosis...but....
mine are typically very violent and almost ALways toward myself-ex of simple one: if i'm walking down stairs at work i'll flash and see myself falling violently down breaking my neck and legs i feel pressure on those parts of my body and hear the bones crack (that's usually what 'snaps' me out of it) when i come out of it i'm usually out of breath very startled-sometime almost gasp-like and am frozen for a few seconds. I've only had these a few times infront of people and i've learned to cover with ('it was a bug'-and laugh it off)
-also see lots of shadow people, sometimes it's just shadow, sometimes it's (i swear) describable person-not as common-
-but what i hate are the tactile ones. where i feel someone (or many people) behind me, feel hands on back of leg or shoulders, neck or back. Those Really freak me out and get me jumpy.
b2c.

> Well, I do have visual illusions / hallucinations and strange pulsions though whether these are psychotic of simply the consequence of an overactive imaginaton coupled with SPD is still up for debate but they do fall into certain categories.
>
> In terms of the visual stuff big recurring themes :
>
> - Bugs, spiders, flies, insects in general ... I see them appear in the air, wallpapers will transform in to masses of twitching spiders etc ... and the funny thing is, I have no problem with bugs in general, aside from really large numbers of ants, anything else I'm ok with and willing to handle
>
> - Dead / mutilated animals. Lots of dead cats, dead dogs, etc. I figure this is because I love animals so much
>
> - People ... mostly as shadows, vanishing as soon as I look at them. I see them on the roof of my house, darting from teh corner of my eyes, etc.
>
> In terms of the Mental shuff there is really only one "theme" : violence. It feels as though I have a morbidly curious freak inside my head suggesting things like : gee, wouldn't it be fun to grab that stranger there and smash his face agains the wall, I wonder what sound it would make. Or gee, I wonder how it would taste like if you'd grab that pigeon there and bit his head off, would the blood gush in your mouth or would it be mostly feather. Sometimes its directed at myself, curious pulsions about destroying / damaging my own body. Fortunately I don't feel as though I have to do what the "voice" suggests ... just annoying sometimes.

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » B2Chica

Posted by Dinah on January 26, 2005, at 9:46:45

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » Dinah, posted by B2Chica on January 26, 2005, at 9:19:44

Apparently it's a not uncommon thing in narcolepsy. And since I also have involuntary naps, the neurologists are convinced it's sleep disorder related.

I just am skeptical because the incidents have a near perfect correlation to times when I've been overstimulated. And the volume only gets really loud when I've been really overstimulated.

It's kind of annoying because the cadence is so clearly human conversation that I can't help but try to make out the words. But of course there are no real words to make out.

Forgive my ignorance, but what are HG/HP episodes?

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » Dinah

Posted by B2Chica on January 26, 2005, at 11:40:35

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » B2Chica, posted by Dinah on January 26, 2005, at 9:46:45

no ignorance...i just use my own abbreviations. both sleep (disorders? issues/incidences.)
HG-hypnogogic episodes occur when going to sleep
HP-hypnopompic occur when awakening.
it is a type of sleep paralysis, but you have dreamstate, extreme sense of fear and a sense of consiousness-knowing you need to physically wake yourself up (like your minds awake but your body is not)... it's quite terrifying.
mine typically occur in multiples as well (so if i get one i have more than one during a night.)

try googling it..it may explain better than i.
thanks.
b2c.

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*

Posted by pretty_paints on January 28, 2005, at 12:10:26

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES* » Dinah, posted by B2Chica on January 26, 2005, at 11:40:35

Hi guys,

Thanks for all your replies!!

For some reason I didn't get any email notices saying people had replied, so I thought nobody had responded to the post.

Lovely surprise to visit the board and find that people had! Camille Dumont, I was very interested by your posts. Could you tell me more about your symptoms or whatever it is that you think/know you suffer from? Do you have a diagnosis? How about meds? (if you don't mind answering that is!!).

Thanks again to all of you

hugs :)

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*

Posted by Camille Dumont on January 29, 2005, at 14:38:00

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by pretty_paints on January 28, 2005, at 12:10:26

> Lovely surprise to visit the board and find that people had! Camille Dumont, I was very interested by your posts. Could you tell me more about your symptoms or whatever it is that you think/know you suffer from? Do you have a diagnosis? How about meds? (if you don't mind answering that is!!).

Not at all. In terms of diagnosis lets just say that its a bit blurry and has evolved over time. It went like this (in chronological order)

- Adaptation disorder (whatever its called ... the thing that is less than depression and temporary)
- Major depresssion
- Major depression with psychotic features
- Chronic depression with psychotic features
- Major depression and schizoid personality disorder

Mind you I'm a bit guilty of not being really honest with the p-docs. It took me a while to have the guts to admit what I saw and even now I've never dared to mention the whole violent urges type thing. I'm afraid that if I do talk about them the doctor will not realize that even though I get these urges there is no way I'd act on them and I don't want to end up in the hospital and / or forcibly medicated.

I think I do have depression and SPD and from the results of MMPI-2 I have lots and lots of imagination and when you put pressure or stress someone with SPD they may slip into lalaland and start to see things and hear things just as if they were psychotic even though you still know what is real and what is not real. I've also had depersonalization episodes but I can control and stop them at will now so its not much of an issue now.

Its also very much linked to how tired I am. If I'm sleep deprived it gets very bad. The hallucinations will pop up near me every 5 minutes or so. Its very annoying and I have a hard time reading because my brain will twist the words I see ... usually in a very cynical way. For example, I once saw a sign who said something like : save the earth, think of your children, recycle. When I first saw it I read : save the earth, recycle your children. I couldn't help but visualse a small compost heap with little kiddie shoes around it. Of course it was so weird that I looked twice and the words went back to how they should have been. But it can be annoying when I'm at work.

Usually the hallucinations are so strange that I realize that they can't be true. But then again, I've also wondered about the fact that maybe I'm hallucinating tons of stuff but don't realize that they are not true if they appear "normal" and what not. Maybe I only notice the "strange" and "weird" visions.

In terms of meds I've had a few unfortunate run-ins with atypical APs which did take away the visions but also took away 90% of my mind ... and Zyprexa gave me petit mal seizures so I now refuse to take anything called a mood stabiliser or antipsychotic. I quit Effexor 300mg cold turkey and I'm still on a small dose of Celexa (20mg) which prevented me from feeling the Effexor withdrawal.

I really think its just my personality and my imagination. And I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather keep my imagination even if it means that the visions stay. If I sleep enough and have a lifestyle thats not too stressfull given my personality disorder / type then they remain at a tolerable level and I can work and take care of myself. I see them more as a part of me than a disease / pathological symptom.

 

Not disclosing halluzinations » Camille Dumont

Posted by bimini on January 29, 2005, at 16:30:10

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by Camille Dumont on January 29, 2005, at 14:38:00

This is from an earlier post:

My vision went from perfect, no glasses to multiples, glare and streaks, color toggling, overall pattern, no depth perception, not understanding movement, not recognizing objects, misconstruing the mess of visual information. I could not read as words move or are written with an alphabet I don't recognize.
I reported to my primary care physician that I wasn't able to see right and I was fading out, I was then sent to a neurologist who ordered a MRI scan of the brain. The scan showed a lesion at the occipital horn and several foci, mainly in the parietal lobe. I was prescribed Effexor and betablockers and sent to an ophthalmologist. He gave me glasses for my halluzinations, LOL! so I can see them better. I was accused of beeing high on drugs and urged to seek psychiatric care. I sought help with improving my vision first and started behavioral vision therapy which improved alignment (multiples), teaming (wobble, wavelike effect) and focus. Depth perception now provides better understanding of where things are in relation to me, movement does throw it off to some delayed response. Vision therapy has provided me with direct feedback to when visual processing suspends and for how long. I am mostly not aware as it happens, I am just missing. While all this was helpful for understanding perspective and I learned how to read without jumping all over the place, other peculiar things remained.
Telling my psychiatrist the tiniest bit of what my halluzinations are like prompted the schizophrenic label, I still don't feel understood.
Objects get translated wrong while I am aware of improbables. Well, this did cause me some confusion as to how am I supposed to know when something isn't obvious enough? I got a bit suspicious abaout everything I see, but soon decided that was too cumbersome and just don't worry about it. I might not always know fake from real, does everybody? Our mind fills in a lot of blanks.

bimini

 

Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*

Posted by pretty_paints on January 30, 2005, at 10:09:32

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by Camille Dumont on January 29, 2005, at 14:38:00

Hi Camille,

Thanks for your reply. It was really interesting. And I agree with you that in your case, it does seem to be an integral part of you and your personality.

I am interested though as to how does a doc differentiate between schizophrenia and schizoid personality disorder. What are the differences (if you know)? Most people would look at your symptoms and think *schizophrenia*, know what I mean? I'm just interested as to the difference. Is it because you know a lot of the time that the things you see arn't real? Do you suffer from delusions as well as the hallucinations? And if so, do you believe them?

Thanks again xxxx

 

SPD vs. Schizophrenia

Posted by Camille Dumont on January 30, 2005, at 11:46:37

In reply to Re: PSYCHOTIC *THEMES*, posted by pretty_paints on January 30, 2005, at 10:09:32

Well, some psychiatry books see SPD as a sort of precursor of Schizophrenia but generally the reality testing stays intact. For example, if I see I tiger walking down the street, I will think something like "woh! that can't be right" and then look again and it will usually disappear. I don't build delusions to explain the "strange" things I see.

In my opinion, I think that schizotypal personality disorder is closer to schizophrenia because people with SZPD usually have odd thinking. Like believing in magic, ufos or sometimes religious themes appear as part of the delusions.

Sometimes I think that schizotypal personality disorder is closer to schizophrenia whereas schizoid personality is closer to autism in a way ... or perhaps a functionning form of it.

There is also the fact that I don't "hear voices" ... I mean I have strange thoughts but in a way I do not feel that they are external to me (i.e. like thinking that you're picking up the thoughts of someone else) and I also do not feel compelled to obey them.

The way that the psychiatrist investigated the whole psychotic symptoms I was having (after the really nasty antipsychotic trials I had) was through the use of projective testing. I did both a MMPI-2 and the inkblot test. The MMPI-2 came back as pretty clearly SPD and the inkblot test came back negative for everything except depression and opposition / anger towards figures of autority but most importantly it came negative for thought disturbance / delusions.

I also think that your level of functionning also plays a part. I hold a full time job, I dress in business suits every day, I live on my own, pay my bills and so on. Someone in the thralls of full blown schizophrenia might not be able to do so, perhaps because the delusions / halluciantions / voices are to a level which is very hard to bear. When they are evaluating you, psychiatrists will look at your clothes, are you dressed properly, are you clean, and so on because it does give an idea of the level of functionning.

Its hard to ask one if they suffer from "delusions" because to me by definition delusions are some false belief that you believe are true therefore could not recognize as "delusional" but from reading my psychiatric evaluation there was always the line that says "no clear delirium".

I don't believe in magic, ufos, psychic powers or religions of any kind. In fact I'm an atheist, and very strongly so. I believe that humans are no more than evolved animals and that our lives are no more meaningfull than that of an ant or cat. We are born, we live, we reproduce and propagate our genes, we die, we become plant food and our atoms become part of some other element the universe (plant, rock, animal, insect, whatever) and thats it.

I usually depress people with beliefs like that. Some call me a nihilist for it but I can't help it. If I had to state what the meaning of life is it would have to be this simple phrase :

Nothing is created, nothing is destroyed, everything transforms.

I do not know why or how the universe came to be but I accept it as an unknown (at least for now) and would rather do so than find some sort of reassurance in made up beliefs in a "god" or "powerfull entity" of some sort. In fact the only people I have found that seem to understand and share my views of life in general tend to be SPDs or SPD-like people. So maybe its a symptom of my personality type.

So perhaps my tendency to intellectualize (a very common SPD defense mechanism) and rationalize (yet another classical one) could be seen as a delusion (i.e. believing that everything can and will eventually be broken down and explained by science and mathematics) but its also very coherent with north american culture so its usually not seen as pathological by most doctors.

 

Re: Not disclosing halluzinations

Posted by Camille Dumont on January 30, 2005, at 11:50:03

In reply to Not disclosing halluzinations » Camille Dumont, posted by bimini on January 29, 2005, at 16:30:10

> This is from an earlier post:
>
> My vision went from perfect, no glasses to multiples, glare and streaks, color toggling, overall pattern, no depth perception, not understanding movement, not recognizing objects, misconstruing the mess of visual information. I could not read as words move or are written with an alphabet I don't recognize.
> I reported to my primary care physician that I wasn't able to see right and I was fading out, I was then sent to a neurologist who ordered a MRI scan of the brain. The scan showed a lesion at the occipital horn and several foci, mainly in the parietal lobe. I was prescribed Effexor and betablockers and sent to an ophthalmologist. He gave me glasses for my halluzinations, LOL! so I can see them better. I was accused of beeing high on drugs and urged to seek psychiatric care. I sought help with improving my vision first and started behavioral vision therapy which improved alignment (multiples), teaming (wobble, wavelike effect) and focus. Depth perception now provides better understanding of where things are in relation to me, movement does throw it off to some delayed response. Vision therapy has provided me with direct feedback to when visual processing suspends and for how long. I am mostly not aware as it happens, I am just missing. While all this was helpful for understanding perspective and I learned how to read without jumping all over the place, other peculiar things remained.
> Telling my psychiatrist the tiniest bit of what my halluzinations are like prompted the schizophrenic label, I still don't feel understood.
> Objects get translated wrong while I am aware of improbables. Well, this did cause me some confusion as to how am I supposed to know when something isn't obvious enough? I got a bit suspicious abaout everything I see, but soon decided that was too cumbersome and just don't worry about it. I might not always know fake from real, does everybody? Our mind fills in a lot of blanks.
>
> bimini


Thats interesting. I found myself stating something very similar to my psychiatrist when explaining the visions. I told her that it felt as though I had very lazy brain and eyes. Basically that my eyes are too "lazy" to look at things properly and only do a quick scan and then that my brain just "makes up" the rest. As if my brain found it less complicated to just make up things rather than interpret things correctly.

 

Thanks Camille

Posted by pretty_paints on January 30, 2005, at 13:08:08

In reply to Re: Not disclosing halluzinations, posted by Camille Dumont on January 30, 2005, at 11:50:03

Thanks Camille, that was really fascinating reading that.

You seem very sorted and able to cope with things, so I'm really pleased for you about that.

Thanks for sharing your experiences!


Bimini, I thought I read on another post (I think it was one I started, "Scizophrenia - with or without voices") someone say to you that you don't have Schizophrenia or even a mental illness but some form of brain damage instead. I'm not saying these are exactly my views, but I was wondering whether you read this, and if so what are your views on this comment?

Thanks!!

 

Re: Thanks Camille » pretty_paints

Posted by bimini on January 31, 2005, at 9:29:21

In reply to Thanks Camille, posted by pretty_paints on January 30, 2005, at 13:08:08

> Bimini, I thought I read on another post someone say to you that you don't have Schizophrenia or even a mental illness but some form of brain damage instead. I'm not saying these are exactly my views, but I was wondering whether you read this, and if so what are your views on this comment?

Pretty Paints,

I did not know that the schizophrenia diagnose is any different when there is a medical condition like brain damage. I learned about that here. I do feel I don't fit in anywhere.
I was holding onto the physical reason, but the more I read , the less difference it makes. The mind is not seperate from the body and this fine line between mental illness and brain damage becomes more and more vague. What I can see in the end is a ping pong game played by a single player.

bimini

 

Re: Not disclosing halluzinations » Camille Dumont

Posted by bimini on January 31, 2005, at 10:05:38

In reply to Re: Not disclosing halluzinations, posted by Camille Dumont on January 30, 2005, at 11:50:03

This is what struck me too which prompted me to dig up my old post. I wondered why I don't see some indistinguishable blob and make up something instead and if whatever I make up has any significance. Is it symbolic, do I misinterpret within a semiotic group, is there any consistency? Theme... well, I can't see a consistency of theme.

It goes the other way too: I know what an object is, what it is for, what it does but no idea what it looks like. Like the visual part does not connect with the term. Did not notice this until after spending a long time looking for something my daughter tried to help and asked me what it looked like, I could not describe it, it wasn't there.

Lazy brain...I feels like the brain is deciding the hierarchy of what gets processed in order of importance, a lot slips by, gets filled in sloppily or skipped, so that I don't see it all, it just pops up out of thin air.

bimini

 

Re: SPD vs. Schizophrenia

Posted by B2Chica on January 31, 2005, at 18:24:55

In reply to SPD vs. Schizophrenia, posted by Camille Dumont on January 30, 2005, at 11:46:37

wow...that is a lot of great information. i was reading it thinking...man, this is me...Exactly how i 'understand' the differences AND what my pesonality is like.
b2c.

 

Re: Not disclosing halluzinations

Posted by skybdark on February 5, 2005, at 10:45:44

In reply to Re: Not disclosing halluzinations » Camille Dumont, posted by bimini on January 31, 2005, at 10:05:38

Hi. I am too depressed to read the whole thread... please forgive me...

I did read where you have a lesion... did you also have a spine mri? More than one lesion is considered MS not schizophrenia! Anyway, I have one lesion and many other problems, they stack up to the same symptoms as MS... with my myelopathy. Vision problems are included, as well as "hallucinations" but I can logically figure out they are just that, usually. It's the problem with the information the nerves are creating...

feel better.

 

Re: Not disclosing halluzinations

Posted by bimini on February 5, 2005, at 23:37:33

In reply to Re: Not disclosing halluzinations, posted by skybdark on February 5, 2005, at 10:45:44

Yes, I did have a spine MRI and blood work. The lesion in the brain is atrophied tissue and open to the ventricle, which can also be called a porencephaly. The other foci came likely from TIAs caused by reaction to autonomic shock, my conjecture because my docs brushed it off and did not explain anything nor answered my many questions.
My problems started after I was hit by an 18 wheeler, I did not sink into a neat coma, I sank into the poppy fields of Oz instead. Moving, walking, seeing and understanding the world became a challenge suddenly.
It isn't that halluzinations I experience are only produced by vision dysfunction, all information gets a bit warped without discrimination. Hearing a number, retaining it for a second and writing it down or dialing the number morphs the symbol, the meaning and the concept. Dialing a complete set of numbers is all of a sudden a challenge. Same with language, I learned several languages, English is my third. I attach wrong structure to my first language and omit articles, prepostions and who knows what. I often speak only part of a sentence, like that is enough, lol. All data got confused, I don't see monsters and creepy things, I translate the image incorrect.
bimini


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