Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 444210

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Re: more drama

Posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 13:32:47

In reply to Re: more drama » lonelygal2, posted by rainbowbrite on January 20, 2005, at 13:18:46

yeah, i see what both you and her are saying... still, it just sucks...
and this was my old pdoc that i was talking about (she's with my school, its just that i had taken a year off to do an internship and i guess just get away, so i'm away right now)... i have long ago given up on ever talking to my old t again. b/c even if i did talk to her it wouldn't be the same anymore and it would make me sad anwyays. i just wish i could go back in time to when i had her..... well, i have thought if i ever do go through with umm, what i mentioned before, i would leave her a goodbye message on her voicemail, but that's all..

> Awww (((lonleygal)))
>
> Im so sorry. I think what she said is true though. I think it is unethical for them to be in the middle of a new realtionship because it interferes with the creation of a new bond. Im thinking as an example of kids that are removed from parents, if you take a kid from a home but allow that child to keep in contact with the patent that they removed it from that child will have a very difficult time forming a new bond. Taht is how I am taking what your T said. I bet if you give the new T a chance when you finally get to see her and you get connected your old T would love to hear from you! right now i bet she feels in a horrible place becasue im sure she wishes she could help but knows that it is wrong. BTW does she know who your new T is? Like maybe it would be helpful for her to talk to your new T. i dunno. I hope things get easier
> rain

 

Re: more drama » lonelygal2

Posted by rainbowbrite on January 20, 2005, at 15:53:07

In reply to Re: more drama, posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 13:32:47

I know it hurts. I had a similar experience with someone when i was much younger, i only met with him for a few months bubt i really trusted him. anyway i didn't know it at the time but i think he was a student or something casue he moved on to another city and school. i couldn't let go and refused to work with anyone else. i wrote a few letters just wanting to keep that realtionship going and i think, in retrospect, that he wasn't trying to be mean but he sent me a very very cold response to my last letter. i was heart broken. this was someone who came accross so sensitive and kind and loving. he basically said i think you need to cut contact with me. after readidng your post i think i just answered my own question. it is the most painful experience. YUou trust and share with a person and then they up and leave. i really thought he'd be there for me, but no. it took me quite awile to get back to anotehr one. so my point of that is that i really know how painful it is and how discouraging it can be. I really hope you find a good relationship with a T, im still working on that but i think it is so important.
((lonelygal))

 

new update.

Posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 18:01:00

In reply to Re: more drama, posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 13:32:47

so, umm, the pdoc called me today (after i e-mailed her back) explaining her position b/c she knew i was so upset and b/c i think i mentioned a little too much about all the thoughts that i had been thinking. we talked for a really long time, like an hour, giving me advice that i need to open up to this new t and that i need to work on trusting, etc etc. I kept crying and crying. She said she would start looking for a therapist for me for when I go home in July and to call her when I go back home to set up an appt. and i promised I would.
Also, just right now the new t person called and I have an appt. for tomorrow! So, I'm relieved b/c everythign just has seemed so complicated and I want things to be simple and I'm tired of waiting b/c I feel so stupid plus I want help now before I back out, etc etc. So I really really really hope it goes okay tomorrow. Please God please. I am drained.

 

Re: new update. » lonelygal2

Posted by annierose on January 20, 2005, at 18:27:44

In reply to new update., posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 18:01:00

Finally, seems like the corner is turning. You deserve to pat yourself on the back (a few times) for being so persistent and opening your heart and soul to both the old pdoc and new T (via telephone). They did listen, and respond. I hope tomorrow goes well for you. Mostly, you like her. And feel you can work with her.

 

Re: new update. » lonelygal2

Posted by rainbowbrite on January 20, 2005, at 18:37:41

In reply to new update., posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 18:01:00

I am very pleased to here this. Let us know how it goes.

:)

 

Re: new update. » lonelygal2

Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 20, 2005, at 19:22:32

In reply to new update., posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 18:01:00

I will be praying this appointment goes well I am sooo happy they got you in fast...I am here for you and mega hugs

 

how did it go? (nm)

Posted by rainbowbrite on January 21, 2005, at 13:49:55

In reply to new update., posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 18:01:00

 

I want to know too. (nm)

Posted by mair on January 21, 2005, at 17:49:40

In reply to how did it go? (nm), posted by rainbowbrite on January 21, 2005, at 13:49:55

 

Caring Babblers want to know ???? (nm)

Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 19:31:00

In reply to I want to know too. (nm), posted by mair on January 21, 2005, at 17:49:40

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????

Posted by lonelygal2 on January 22, 2005, at 1:25:15

In reply to Caring Babblers want to know ???? (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 19:31:00

hey everyone. i met with my new therapist tonight and things went pretty well. well, i was sort of worried about meeting beforehand b/c i just wasn't in a good mood, like i felt like i couldn't at all talk about emotions or feelings anymore b/c i felt nothing whatsoever...
but anyways, i met with her and i told her surprisingly a whole lot. like she kept asking me a whole lot of questions about how i've been feeling and then we sort of got into my family and i was just telling her that i didn't really care about anything and so when she would ask me questions i would just answer without fighting b/c i didn't care at all. so in a way, my not caring was helpful b/c i told her a whole lot more than i would have normally. and she sort of explained to me that this week i had probably had had enough with so many different emotions that my mind had probably just sort of shut down. and that makes a whole lot of sense to me.
i went out with an old friend tonight to see a movie and have drinks and it has been a surprisingly alright, maybe even good? day. i am a little tipsie right now so probably i am not amking as much sense as i would like to, but i wanted to let all of you know how my appt. went now that i got home.
i have another appt. wed. i guess i am sort of happy that this therapist seems to be really probing and knows how to deal with all my resistance. b/c i felt going in that she would for sure be annoyed with me b/c of my attitude today. but i don't think she really was. so umm, i'm happy. maybe she cares some and maybe i won't be so alone in all my thoughts. oh and i even told her some of what all i had been thinking about. she made me sign a no-harm contract and told me more numbers to call. hmm, that's all. i'm sleepy. good night.

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2

Posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 17:50:03

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 22, 2005, at 1:25:15

Lonleygal
I must have missed this yesterday, I am so glad it worked out better than expected and that you had a nice evening out :). it is great you have an appoint to see her agian soon, and hopefully it will go even better. I am really happy for you

take care
rain

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2

Posted by mair on January 23, 2005, at 21:16:01

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 22, 2005, at 1:25:15

Gee, I meant to respond to this yesterday. Your post made me feel that you're probably in good hands. I'm really happy you had a positive reaction to her and that you're going back soon. It sounds like she wants to stay on top of things. Please keep letting us know how things are going for you.

mair

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????

Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 7:23:21

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2, posted by mair on January 23, 2005, at 21:16:01

hi all,
my t actually called on sat to check-in and asked if i would come in today b/c she got the name of some pdocs so that i would start meds again and hopefully see someone soon.
i am so nervous right now about going again. it was better friday when i just plain didn't care and didn't worry.
i am sort of freaking out. i don't want to trust her and then get hurt somehow. also, i'm worried that by seeign her today i'll have to wait a whole long long time before i see her next week- if its like my next appt would be hte next wed. and i don't want to ask to see her sooner b/c then umm i feel dumb. :(
i surrounded myself with people this weekend, like wasn't alone for more than a couple of hours so that i would be forced to not be able to do anything or think about doing anything. but i can't do this for forever.
i am also pissed that i signed that no-harm contract b/c i think it's stupid. what does it matter what i choose to do?
grrr.
i'm scared about today.

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2

Posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 8:22:28

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 7:23:21

Tell her everything you've said here. I think it's important that you tell her how afraid you are of getting attached to someone who isn't going to be there for the long haul, and I think it's important to tell her how fragile you are now, although the fact that she called you indicates that she knows this.

The push-pull is tough. You need contact with her to keep yourself safe, and you don't want to get attached to her because of perceived future pain. I'd always err on the side of safety. Once you're feeling alot better and over this awful hump, you can deal alot more calmly and systematically with what happens when you have to leave the area.

And I certainly wouldn't be afraid to tell her that 10 days is too long to wait between appointments.

Post us a note after you've seen her.

Mair

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2

Posted by shrinking violet on January 24, 2005, at 10:17:39

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 7:23:21

LG,

I cant type much now as my kitten has settled himself in the crook of my left arm but i wanted to wish you luck and strength today. let us know how it turns out.

sv

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????

Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 10:48:24

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2, posted by shrinking violet on January 24, 2005, at 10:17:39

thanks you guys... i can't believe i'm so nervous. i feel like physically sick and i'm at work and i can't concentrate and things aren't goign well, and i want to go home, but jeez i dont want to get people mad at me. and i'm scared of her, but i want her help, but i don't want to want her help, and yuck.

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2

Posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 10:52:09

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 10:48:24

Just keep thinking of how well you did the other day.

You could also pretend that we're right there next to you - sort of a sidelines group of exhorting fans. (this kind of metaphor must be what comes of watching 2 football games yesterday - a rarity)

Mair

 

Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » mair

Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 12:00:21

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2, posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 10:52:09

hehehe.
:)

 

MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME

Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:20:19

In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » mair, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 12:00:21

the subject line pretty much sums it up. apparently i'm too severe and she wants to pass me along. yeah, that's all. bye.

 

Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME » lonelygal2

Posted by gardenergirl on January 24, 2005, at 16:24:02

In reply to MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:20:19

Oh dear. I'm sorry that happened. Did she give you names for referral? Will she see you until you do find someone else?

I can't imagine all the feelings I would be feelign if I were you. Immediately I'm thinking anger, sadness, worry, etc. Please take a deep breath and know that she likely is not the T for you anyway. Better to be spared the pain of discovering that down the road?

Please take care and good luck on your search. A good T is out there somewhere for you.

gg

 

Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME

Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:41:37

In reply to Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME » lonelygal2, posted by gardenergirl on January 24, 2005, at 16:24:02

she gave me a name, whatever. i am so FURIOUS WITH MYSELF that i trusted her or even told her anything. she asked me if i would walk with her to the hospital, i was like no way. then she was asking me to call and make an appt with this new pdoc or this new t she wanted me to see. i'm not sure, i sort of was lost in space. but i was like no, i don't know, i dont 'want to see anyone else. and i don't.
i kept trying ot leave. she added to the stupid no self-harm contract that she would call me at a certain time every day and if i didn't answer or call back within 15 minutes she would call the police. i kept not wanting to sign b/c i dont' want ot talk to her anymore at all, but i think i was just making things worse and all i wanted to do was get out of there, and hten she was saying well then write something saying i refused to sign, but then i wasn't sure if that gave her the right to call the police or whatever, so i gave in and signed. so apparently i will be getting a phone call from her tomorrow. lovely.

> Oh dear. I'm sorry that happened. Did she give you names for referral? Will she see you until you do find someone else?
>
> I can't imagine all the feelings I would be feelign if I were you. Immediately I'm thinking anger, sadness, worry, etc. Please take a deep breath and know that she likely is not the T for you anyway. Better to be spared the pain of discovering that down the road?
>
> Please take care and good luck on your search. A good T is out there somewhere for you.
>
> gg

 

Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME » lonelygal2

Posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 17:38:23

In reply to Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:41:37

I'm so sorry - I just had so much hope that this was going to work out for you.

It sounds as if this woman may just not have felt herself up to working with someone whose needs are as immediate. Please don't take this to mean anything other than this woman wasn't up to it.

I wish I could give you my ex-T. I decided after awhile that I wasn't really going to make real progress with him, but he was greatest when I was at my worst. I think he actually loved dealing with people in really bad shape - he could be the white knight or something. I know there are Ts like him out there. People who understand emergencies and who know that they can make a tremendous difference to someone in need.

What's happening with the rest of your life? You mentioned that work wasn't going well, but I also got a sense that you're maybe in grad school. Aren't you whereever you are on somewhat of a temporary basis?

Please stay connected here.

Mair

 

Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME/ :*(

Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 24, 2005, at 17:54:22

In reply to Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:41:37

You know LG I do not know what words to say to you I would feel so sad, mad and jeeze bullistic if I was in a spot like yours. I just wanted to say how very sorry I am and that I hope in spite of this you will in time seek out a T and that relationship will be the RIGHT one with no pain :(

HUGS AND SORRY

> she gave me a name, whatever. i am so FURIOUS WITH MYSELF that i trusted her or even told her anything. she asked me if i would walk with her to the hospital, i was like no way. then she was asking me to call and make an appt with this new pdoc or this new t she wanted me to see. i'm not sure, i sort of was lost in space. but i was like no, i don't know, i dont 'want to see anyone else. and i don't.
> i kept trying ot leave. she added to the stupid no self-harm contract that she would call me at a certain time every day and if i didn't answer or call back within 15 minutes she would call the police. i kept not wanting to sign b/c i dont' want ot talk to her anymore at all, but i think i was just making things worse and all i wanted to do was get out of there, and hten she was saying well then write something saying i refused to sign, but then i wasn't sure if that gave her the right to call the police or whatever, so i gave in and signed. so apparently i will be getting a phone call from her tomorrow. lovely.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > Oh dear. I'm sorry that happened. Did she give you names for referral? Will she see you until you do find someone else?
> >
> > I can't imagine all the feelings I would be feelign if I were you. Immediately I'm thinking anger, sadness, worry, etc. Please take a deep breath and know that she likely is not the T for you anyway. Better to be spared the pain of discovering that down the road?
> >
> > Please take care and good luck on your search. A good T is out there somewhere for you.
> >
> > gg
>
>

 

I'm sorry » lonelygal2

Posted by Dinah on January 24, 2005, at 18:03:05

In reply to MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:20:19

But sometimes they're right when they say they aren't a good enough therapist to help us. It's better to know that up front than somewhere down the line.

Did she tell you anything about the therapist she recommended? Is it someone with more experience and skill than she has? I suppose I'd be reluctant to take a recommendation under the circumstances but I guess there's some benefit to getting the name of someone she thinks would be better than she is.

I'm really sorry. It stinks. (A pdoc passed on me once during my Wellbutrin induced agitated hypomania. His loss.)

 

So sorry Lonely gal

Posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 18:57:43

In reply to I'm sorry » lonelygal2, posted by Dinah on January 24, 2005, at 18:03:05

Oh Lonelygal I am sooo sorry! that must be awful. I must agree with Dinah though. It is better to find out earlier than later that she isn't qulified. This probably isn't helping much Im sorry, but I think this must happen alot to patients. I feel for you i really do.
((lonelygal))


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