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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Pandabear on August 6, 2004, at 17:11:41
Hello...Im back..:) I went to my therapist yesterday and she told me that I can start to back off of therapy now since I am doing so well. Instead of going once a week now...im skipping and going every other week. She wants me to get to where I am going only once a month. The idea of that scares me but she is right Im really doing good. She told me that I dont have to have a "crisis" to come to therapy and that she has a couple of people that just come to talk through thoughts and ideas that they have. I dont have the money to be able to just come and "shoot the breeze" with her..but, I dont want to back off of therapy too much. After I had my surgery, all of my symptoms...depression, anxiety, and the signs of bipolar disorder disappeared...so im doing so much better...it is like im a completely different person..but now, I dont know what to do about therapy.
The thought of not going to therapy anymore scares me. I dont want to loose the connection that I have with my therapist...I dont want to stress too much because then I will get worked up and depressed yet then, I also want to be able to still come and see her. But, she told me to not make up things just to come see her..but I am the type of person that would do that...I like being helped and having someone to listen to..I couldnt stand to loose her. I dont knwo what to do about these feelings..but I also dont want to bring it up with her because she would start to think that I was becoming "unstable" when really im not. I have just gotten so used to therapy i cannot imagine my life without it. I dont know what to do or say to her...Any advice?
Posted by gardenergirl on August 6, 2004, at 20:55:49
In reply to TIME TO MOVE ON.., posted by Pandabear on August 6, 2004, at 17:11:41
Hmmm, I don't have time for a long post. I just wanted to mention that the ending of a therapeutic relationship is another stage of therapy. And your feelings sound very common to what others' feel about finishing. It's important to give this as much attention and focus in therapy as it needs so you have a comfortable and satisying end to the therapy relationship. I think that's whay I would be focusing on over the next sessions if I were in your place.
Take care,
gg
Posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 21:04:31
In reply to TIME TO MOVE ON.., posted by Pandabear on August 6, 2004, at 17:11:41
I'm not very good with advice but can I give an uneducated opinion? Read on if you like...
Forget about whether she thinks you're unstable ... what she thinks ultimately doesn't matter, does it? What do you think? What do you need? This is about you, not her.
Posted by Pandabear on August 6, 2004, at 22:20:48
In reply to Re: TIME TO MOVE ON.. » Pandabear, posted by gardenergirl on August 6, 2004, at 20:55:49
I know that she isnt trying to get me to finish therapy altogether...rather she is trying to get me to back off now that im stable. She says I can always come back if things get hectic..heck, the majority of folks that are in therapy that dont have a psychiatric problem only go once a month if im not mistaking...so its only normal..its just hard for me given the fact that all along, we have been thinking that i am more complex than I really am...and now....now that we found out that everything is ok...i dont need to be coming every week...and its hard for me to let go...im sure she understands and will help me through this..its just difficult for me.... you know?
Posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 23:25:56
In reply to Re: TIME TO MOVE ON.. » gardenergirl, posted by Pandabear on August 6, 2004, at 22:20:48
I think you're very lucky that your therapist knows when to let you go. The anxiety of trusting just yourself? Is that it? It was for me, is that part of it for you? Don't kid yourself either, we're all complex, and in my personal opinion, the more I think about myself, the more complex I become (heh). I think therapy, for me, was an exercise in complete selfishness and I came out of it disliking myself more than I ever have.
I feel sorry for my ex-therapist, when I'm not too busy feeling sorry for myself first. Agh, what a fricking mess.Anyone ever read "Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide"?
Posted by shortelise on August 7, 2004, at 1:00:19
In reply to TIME TO MOVE ON.., posted by Pandabear on August 6, 2004, at 17:11:41
What you describe isn't, to me, instability. It's "normal" feelings. According to those far wiser than I, these feelings are the norm when we back off from therapy.
If it were my therapist, it would be a sign of my strength to talk about these feelings.
It's hard and I empathize --- really! because I'm in the same position you're in. But I believe it is important to end therapy gradually, and well. The right ending is just as important as a good beginning and middle.
Shorte
Posted by Aphrodite on August 7, 2004, at 8:35:33
In reply to TIME TO MOVE ON.., posted by Pandabear on August 6, 2004, at 17:11:41
If we like them and when it is geographically possible, we keep our doctors, our dentists, etc. for a lifetime, going back to them when we need them. There isn't anything odd about that at all. Why not the same with our mental health care? My husband has gone once a week to his chiropractor for the past 7 years -- it keeps his back stable and prevents problems. I'm pretty sure they've never had conversations about terminating. I think it's an appropriate analogy so that we can either go back to our therapists for "tune-ups" or keep going for maintenance. It doesn't mean we are unstable to think that way.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 7, 2004, at 9:39:40
In reply to Re: TIME TO MOVE ON.., posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 23:25:56
> Anyone ever read "Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide"?
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by Dinah on August 7, 2004, at 10:37:03
In reply to Re: TIME TO MOVE ON.. » Pandabear, posted by Aphrodite on August 7, 2004, at 8:35:33
I think what Aphrodite said makes perfect sense, and I agree with what the others say. Thinking of it as saying goodbye is probably way scarier than thinking of it as saying see you later, or see you when I need you.
I think it's perfectly normal to mourn even the scaling back of an important relationship. So give yourself time and permission.
I think it's so wonderful that they were able to find a physical cause and fix it so that you are feeling so much better!
Posted by Susan47 on August 7, 2004, at 11:01:37
In reply to Re: double double quotes » Susan47, posted by Dr. Bob on August 7, 2004, at 9:39:40
Posted by Pandabear on August 7, 2004, at 16:50:35
In reply to Re: TIME TO MOVE ON.., posted by Dinah on August 7, 2004, at 10:37:03
My therapist did say that she is always here and therapy is always availiable...I dont see this as an actual end to my sessions...its just that im going less frequent...which is a normal thing to do when you are doing well. It's just that for the past 2 yrs...i have been going either twice a week or once a week and now im backing off so its scary...it is great to know that she is always here for me...I look at it like this...once a patient always a patient...she still has my records and will always have them and I am always welcome to come talk...thank goodness. I just for once dont have any pressing issues to deal with...(which is good...) its just weird because I have ALWAYS had things to deal with with her and now i dont....I am taking this time to start fresh and now that I have a new outlook on life..things are really great. Going though all that i have gone through has made me now more than ever want to be a family therapist...but I dont want to go back to school..so this presents a problem...but, i have really been inspired....therapist are wonderful people.
I really want to thank all of the people that have supported me these past few months when I was posting..(before I knew what was going on with me) Everyone on this site gives great advice and support and I am so glad that I found this support group.
Thanks.
Pandabear
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2004, at 10:32:55
In reply to Re: double double quotes, posted by Susan47 on August 7, 2004, at 11:01:37
> http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0375701478
Thanks, but you don't need to deal with the URL yourself, the title can be a link: "Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide".
Bob
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