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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 17:27:06
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
Sign me up!
>
> When did T leave on vaca?
Today
> When is T coming back?
Wednesday Aug. 18
> What coping strategies will you use?
Lordy, I'm not sure...meditating, trying to bury myself in work, working in the yard, posting here on Babble, emailing friends. Anything that may help.
> List one good thing about your T being gone:
That is very hard...um, he deserves a vacation? I may not cry my eyes out for an hour straight this week?
> List the worst thing about your T being gone:
I need to talk to him about pdoc situation. I will miss him. Oops, that's two.
> How are you doing right now?
Fair to middling. Just found out my thyroid is whacked, which is annoying, but 'splains some sx's I've been having.
Comfort food: Starbucks!Do we have a secret handshake?
gg
Posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 17:46:49
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
Bang Bang (my gavel).
Since this is the first meeting, we'll only deal with new business:
At this moment we have myself and GG currently without therapists. Next week we will add Klokka, and the following week, everyone will be without a therapist (Dinah, Klokka, Daisy, rubenstein, pegasus, and gardenergirl).
It seems that we can all find at least one good thing about the situation. Common concerns include that T will be gone when something bad happens, that T won't return at all, that we'll explode from keeping stuff in for so long, an general fear of being on our own.
Some excellent coping skills were proposed:
Rationality
Killing time
Writing
Reading
Posting
Taking our own vacation
Engaging in complicated cooking
Eating ice cream, chocolate, coffee, pizza, and other comfort foods
Watching movies
Seeing friends
Self care: meditate, yoga, otherwise relaxGood start club! It was proposed that we create a secret handshake. Not sure how to do that without letting everyone else know how it goes.
I suggest that we also help each other with the count down to T return. Then we get to have a lot of celebrations when they get back. I'll work out everyone's count downs and let you know.
(((TOV Club)))
pegasus
Posted by Cinderella on August 4, 2004, at 18:46:48
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
What About Bob? When his therapist, Dr. Leo Marvin went on vacation, Bob just followed him up to Lake Winapisaki! I think we should all take vacations too!
C
Posted by mair on August 4, 2004, at 22:19:52
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
When did T leave on vaca?
At the end of this week
> When is T coming back?
In 2 weeks, but then I'm on vacation so except for 1 time somewhere in the middle of all that, I won't see her for 3 and a half weeks.
> What coping strategies will you use?
I'm never that deliberate about anything - my usual coping strategy is to try not to think about it.
> List one good thing about your T being gone:Sessions have been tough lately, so maybe with her gone, I won't feel like I'm on quite as much of an emotional roller coaster.
> List the worst thing about your T being gone:
Seeing her gets me out of my office in the middle of the day 2 x a week. Those days are going to seem alot longer.
> How are you doing right now?
I'm jittery because I don't want tomorrow's session to be as uncomfortable as the last several have been. I don't want to part feeling so vulnerable.
>
Lately - I've been eating nothing but not-very-good-for-you comfort foods, so nothing will change there.
Posted by tabitha on August 5, 2004, at 1:41:36
In reply to Re: Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by mair on August 4, 2004, at 22:19:52
I can't join this club but I feel left out. Can I sit in the corner with my own club? It's the therapist-replaced-by-inferior-replicant club.
How long since your therapist was replaced?
Several months.How can you be sure she's a replicant?
She looks the same, and some of the words are similar, but this one doesn't understand me at all, treats me like I'm nuts, tells me my perceptions are wrong all the time, and doesn't seem to care too much for my well-being.When will your real therapist return?
I'm not sure. I keep hoping, and once I thought she was back, but the replicant is there 90% of the time. At this point I can't tell.How are you coping?
Denial. I keep trying to believe in the replicant's weird rap, but it doesn't work. My real self just keeps resisting being crushed. When denial fails, I lapse into a deer-in-the-headlights passivity in the face of the thread of death from all directions. My old so-called unhealthy coping mechanisms are starting to seem appealing.P.S. I made a freudian typo. I said 'thread of death' instead of 'threat of death'.
Posted by cubic_me on August 5, 2004, at 5:18:21
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
me too!
> When did T leave on vaca? When is T coming back? I'm on vacation until the 3rd week in august, then she is away until the 2nd week in september
> What coping strategies will you use? Keeping very busy and ignoring any temtation to think about my emotions!
> List one good thing about your T being gone: It will make me feel like I can get through some time on my own and that I'm not dependent on a therapist
> List the worst thing about your T being gone:
I'm only seeing her until October, so our sessions are limited and I have quite a bit I want to get through> How are you doing right now? Fairly ok. Keeping busy is the key for me
>
Posted by gardenergirl on August 5, 2004, at 8:19:52
In reply to Re: Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by tabitha on August 5, 2004, at 1:41:36
Funny, but I also know it's painful for you. Thanks for signing up!
gg
Posted by pegasus on August 5, 2004, at 12:46:40
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
Welcome new members, mair, tabitha, and cubic_me! Cinderella, I wasn't sure if you wanted to join, but you're welcome to.
I tried to work out everyone's count downs, but they're not exact where I don't know dates. If you want to send the date of your next appointment (after T and your own vacation) I'll recalculate an accurate countdown. (only if you want to, of course)
Starting from today (even though some of your Ts don't leave until later):
GG has 12 days to go
pegasus has 14 days to go
mair has 16 days to go
daisy has 17 days to go
rubenstein has 22 days to go
dinah has no more than 28 days, and possibly less
klokka and cubic_me have 32 days to go
tabitha has an undetermined time to goSo, the good news is that in 32 days the whole therapist vacation season should be over. Yay! And our Ts vacations are staggered, so we'll have at least 7 different days to celebrate for each other.
I'm not sure what to do about tabitha's situation. We're happy to support you hon, and I'm glad you joined. Maybe your T will return from her alien abduction and replication after vacation season? Or if you have anything else you want us to count down, let us know.
pegasus
Posted by BigFish on August 5, 2004, at 14:49:16
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
Yikes! Am I too late? In case enrollment is still open:
> When did T leave on vaca?
I see him tomorrow for the last time - he leaves on Sat.> When is T coming back?
16th of August> What coping strategies will you use?
To tell you the truth, I'm a bit lost. He hasn't taken a vacation during the 7 months I've gone to him for therapy.> List one good thing about your T being gone:
There won't be any sessions to stew about for a week.> List the worst thing about your T being gone:
We're sort of at an awkward point. I'm having a crisis of confidence about the nature of our relationship. [do we have one? is it all just pretend?] I'm worried that we'll end on a bad note. Then there'll be 9+ days to fret.> How are you doing right now?
He just called me to reschedule our appointment for end-of-day. It was another case of it being his turn to say "good-bye" first and he doesn't - there is a long pause and I have to say it. It makes me wonder what's on his mind. So in sum - not so good.Thanks so much for founding this club, pegasus. It's a really comforting idea!
BigFish
Posted by pegasus on August 5, 2004, at 15:13:22
In reply to Re: Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by BigFish on August 5, 2004, at 14:49:16
It's never too late to join the TOV club!
Looks like you have 10 days to go. Although it might be longer if your 1st appt with your T is later than the 16th.
Everyone has had some good suggestions for coping so far. I summarized them in the first meeting post above. Maybe something there will be helpful for you?
Personally, I find that doing something special for myself on my therapy day makes me feel a little better. It gives me something to look forward to on that day. Anything that sounds good to you would work (suggestions: extra long lunch, special dessert, massage, buy books/shoes/car you've been meaning to buy, etc.).
Good luck, and I hope you'll post if it starts to seem really hard.
pegasus
Posted by mair on August 5, 2004, at 15:37:57
In reply to Countdowns, posted by pegasus on August 5, 2004, at 12:46:40
I saw my therapist today. It'll be another 12 days before I see her one more time, and then 14 days after that before we resume regular sessions. I'm sure the 1 session in between will be as worthless as today's was - neither one of us thinks it's a good idea to talk about anything of consequence when we can't be in more regular contact.
How can I complain however? She spends part of her vacation every year working in a camp for kids who have cancer, and when you think about it, none of us would be well advised to have therapists who never recharged.
Mair
Posted by Aphrodite on August 5, 2004, at 15:59:33
In reply to Re: Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by tabitha on August 5, 2004, at 1:41:36
Tabitha,
So sorry you're still struggling with the invasion of the theapist-body snatcher. I admire you for trying to see it through. Hope your efforts are soon rewarded.
Posted by daisym on August 5, 2004, at 20:21:19
In reply to Re: Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by tabitha on August 5, 2004, at 1:41:36
Tabitha,
We don't want you to be left out. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Have you read "A Shining Affliction" by Annie Rogers? I will warn you that this book took me under for a week but it really was powerful about how a therapy relationship can hurt you terribly and how one can save you too. And it is so beautifully written. I thought of it when you described how your therapist has changed.
Just a thought. I wish things were better. If need be, I'll share my membership.
Daisy
Posted by tabitha on August 6, 2004, at 1:50:32
In reply to Re: Please join therapist-on-vacation club! » tabitha, posted by daisym on August 5, 2004, at 20:21:19
Thanks to all for the guest membership in the TOV club. I'm really touched by the replies. Don't want to divert this thread with my stuff though. Carry on with the TOV vigil. Summer will be over soon. Then not another vacation season til Christmas, right?
Posted by gardenergirl on August 6, 2004, at 20:13:48
In reply to Countdowns, posted by pegasus on August 5, 2004, at 12:46:40
By the way, thanks for putting all of this together, peg.
Take care,
gg
Posted by pegasus on August 6, 2004, at 23:12:27
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
You know, it just occurred to me that *all* of us are without therapists the week of the 16th, if I'm reading this correctly (and if we don't count tabitha's alien reproduction of her therapist as actually being present). Maybe we should have a special something going on that week. Any ideas?
Something along the lines of our therapy pet peeves, or best therapy moments, maybe? I could use some good babble chatter to get me through that week, personally.
pegasus
PS I guess "babble chatter" is redundant :)
Posted by Dinah on August 6, 2004, at 23:32:05
In reply to Re: Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by tabitha on August 5, 2004, at 1:41:36
My vote is that you're more than welcome. What could make you miss your therapist more than having her replaced by the alien pod people? The only problem I foresee is the countdown. Perhaps we can replace it with a count-up? And try to research the average length of therapist alien replacement programs. :(
I am sorry you're having to go through this though. It's got to be tough.
Posted by Pfinstegg on August 7, 2004, at 0:54:51
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
My T is going away October 1-15, so he's later than everyone else's T, but I'd love to join anyway. Let's see...
Coping while away: We're mounting a counterattack by flying to Wales to explore and hike. It helps a lot to be leaving also, and because he's an analyst, I have to pay him if I take more than two weeks away per year while he's at work. So we try to arrange our vacations around his. I also take my journal with me on these trips, and write to him, or about him, in it every day. Sometimes writing and remembering wonderful therapy moments is the biggest help of all. I also write him postcards, which always arrive in a bunch after I'm back at work with him! When asked, he always says missing and remembering is much healthier than feeling alone or abandonned, so I try to work towards that.
The best thing: a vacation for me from the work of going EVERY day, and saying everything that flashes through my mind.
The worst thing: he is so important to me right now that I feel almost heartbroken when i can't see him- it just aches.
How am I doing? Much better! No more Lexapro, which has allowed me to feel much more strongly about things- both joyful and sorrowful (and has given me back a sex life). No need for TMS for the last six months. Less anxiety. While the therapy gets harder and harder, the rest of life is really getting a lot better.
I love the idea of sharing our most wonderful moments in therapy as a way to soothe ourselves while they are gone.
Posted by Racer on August 7, 2004, at 13:21:01
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
So, my emergency came up just in time for my therapist to leave on a family emergency, and our marriage counselor to go on vacation.
Not exactly a therapist's vacation, but can I be an honorary member?
Posted by mair on August 7, 2004, at 16:37:56
In reply to Mine had an emergency -- at the same time I did, posted by Racer on August 7, 2004, at 13:21:01
I like the idea of sharing pet peeves. Also, a couple of years ago we had a thread about words that seem to only (or mostly only) be used in therapy.
It might also be fun to have each of us describe our therapist's office - both its external and internal setting.
Just some ideas -
We need to collect these potential threads in the same way that I'm starting to collect books to read while I'm on vacation.
Mair
Posted by Dinah on August 7, 2004, at 19:46:24
In reply to Mine had an emergency -- at the same time I did, posted by Racer on August 7, 2004, at 13:21:01
Certainly! I found that even more distressing than a vacation. My therapist's mother died last year, and between missing him for the two or three weeks he was gone and worry about him and worry about whether he would really be a good therapist for a while, I was a wreck.
So honorary status granted.
Posted by Dinah on August 7, 2004, at 19:50:56
In reply to Countdowns, posted by pegasus on August 5, 2004, at 12:46:40
Ok, I've got the figures. But I insist on using my idiosyncratic therapist absence count down method. (Can't say vacation since mine will be gone on business *again*).
Mine leaves on the 21st and comes back on the 28th. I don't count weekends so that is only five days. I sleep 8 hours a day (or lets pretend that's the average). So 8 times five is 40 hours. Forty hours is close to two days, so my therapist will only be gone 3 to 3 1/2 days. I can manage that. I often go 3 to 3 1/2 days without seeing him.
Posted by pegasus on August 7, 2004, at 22:06:15
In reply to Re: Countdowns » pegasus, posted by Dinah on August 7, 2004, at 19:50:56
Posted by fallsfall on August 7, 2004, at 22:39:27
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
Well, I'm a little late, but that is because I was on vacation - because my therapist is on vacation.
> When did T leave on vaca?
I saw him last on 7/23> When is T coming back?
I see him on 8/9 - Wow - that's day after tomorrow!> What coping strategies will you use?
I saw my pdoc during the first week he was gone, and went on vacation myself the second week.> List one good thing about your T being gone:
I could go to my parents' cottage on the lake without missing any therapy appointments.> List the worst thing about your T being gone:
I need him.> How are you doing right now?
I'll make it until Monday. Then I will completely fall apart in his office. I thought I was going to "fragment" during the first week. I had to stop driving because I wasn't driving safely (no concentration). I've been taking extra meds (Ativan, for sleep and also during the day, and Ritalin to try to help the driving - not particularly successful). I had a horrible nightmare this past week. I had to deal with my parents for 2 days. My 16 year old was totally "bored" the whole vacation - I would have been too, if I had refused to do as many things as she did. I'm completely exhausted now. The good thing is my 21 year old wanted to cuddle a lot this week (that was heaven).35 1/2 hours until I see him. He actually may be home now!
Posted by lulula on August 7, 2004, at 23:13:08
In reply to Please join therapist-on-vacation club!, posted by pegasus on August 4, 2004, at 12:27:54
Yes, August is the month of vacations for therapist ... there was even a book entitled "August" out 20+ years ago ...
Anyway, my T leaves next Wednesday for 2 weeks.
Best thing about missing therapy ... $$$ saving
all that money.
Instead, I plan on treating my family out for dinner at least once. And I'm picking up more hours at work to keep busy.
Worse part: the support. I see her twice a week, so it will be a little tough.
I like everyone's suggestions. Good Luck everyone!
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