Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 353890

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Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » terrics

Posted by karen_kay on June 4, 2004, at 21:03:09

In reply to DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger**, posted by terrics on June 4, 2004, at 20:23:23

i hope i'm not too late with this post terrics.

((((terrics)))))

she didn't call you back and that was wrong. i'm sorry your therapist messed up. but dear, please don't punish yourself (or hurt) for her mistake. please don't do it.

it's hard to learn new ways to cope. and again, i'm sorry she failed you. but please!!!!!! do not hurt yourself because she failed to hold up her end of the promise. i'm here listening terrics. i'll stay on for a while in case you are still here and want to talk.

kk

 

Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » terrics

Posted by Aphrodite on June 4, 2004, at 22:09:49

In reply to DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger**, posted by terrics on June 4, 2004, at 20:23:23

Karen is right that you should not pay for her mistakes. She expects you to uphold the bargain, but she failed on her part. Why has she canceled so much? Is it legitimate? It seems excessive to me. What about the dirty looks? Have you asked her what they mean?

I am so sorry you are feeling so much pain while you are trying so hard to feel better. It must have been excruciating waiting for her to call. She let you down.

I don't quite understand these DBT rules, but I hope you can work something out and fast.

I hope your weekend brings improvement. Take good care of yourself. I sure wish there was something I could do.

 

Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » terrics

Posted by crushedout on June 5, 2004, at 9:04:17

In reply to DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger**, posted by terrics on June 4, 2004, at 20:23:23


terrics,

please don't hurt yourself more just because your T's a jerk. i'm sorry it seems to me like your t is a jerk. is it ok for me to say that? i want you to get a new t. i care about you and i don't want you to hurt yourself. you have every reason to be angry.

((((((terrics)))))))

crushed

 

Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » terrics

Posted by fallsfall on June 5, 2004, at 13:20:30

In reply to DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger**, posted by terrics on June 4, 2004, at 20:23:23

Terrics,

A DBT therapist should call you (right) back. Period.

You should ask her point blank what the best way to get hold of her is, if she has any hours when she isn't available - and who you should call at those times, how long you should wait for a callback before try her again (assuming that she didn't get your first message). DBT therapists are supposed to be VERY available.

I hope that you were able to control hurting yourself because you were angry at her. You deserve to be angry at her - but that shouldn't cause YOU to hurt.

Have you told her how her cancellations have bothered you? You need to find out if her "unavailability" is because she thinks it is therapeutic, because she is disorganized, because she has some limit (i.e. is sick herself often), because she is too busy, because she doesn't know you well yet, or whatever else.

Don't feel badly about asking these questions. You need to know what you can expect from her. Once you know what you can expect, then you can decide if she can give you what you need - at that point you can think about leaving. There are too many unknowns for you to make an informed decision right now.

Do you also have Skills therapist? If you do, you can talk to that person about your individual T, and try to come up with a strategy (your Skills therapist shouldn't intervene (i.e. talk to) with your individual therapist, but she should help you come up with a plan for how to deal with it.

*I* am really proud of you for calling her before you hurt yourself, and for trying the distraction etc. THAT is a hard decision to make, and it is really hard to *Do* that in the beginning. I hope, regardless of her reaction and regardless of whether you ended up hurting yourself after you tried to call, that you are proud of you, too.

 

Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » karen_kay

Posted by terrics on June 5, 2004, at 17:36:24

In reply to Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » terrics, posted by karen_kay on June 4, 2004, at 21:03:09

Karen, you are always so sweet. Thank you for caring. terrics

 

Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » Aphrodite

Posted by terrics on June 5, 2004, at 17:38:19

In reply to Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » terrics, posted by Aphrodite on June 4, 2004, at 22:09:49

Thank you Aphrodite. I know you and Karen are right. terrics

 

Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » crushedout

Posted by terrics on June 5, 2004, at 17:40:30

In reply to Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » terrics, posted by crushedout on June 5, 2004, at 9:04:17

Hi Crushed, I suppose she is a jerk. I am hoping there is a reason for this stuff. thanks Crushed terrics

 

Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » fallsfall

Posted by terrics on June 5, 2004, at 17:45:31

In reply to Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » terrics, posted by fallsfall on June 5, 2004, at 13:20:30

Hi Falls, You have made me think that perhaps there is a good reason for her behavior. I start skills Monday. There are 2 therapists. I had written something very angry and mean on the back of my diary card for Tues, but thanks to you I can throw it away. Why act borderline. LOL I'm am really glad your post made me think before I gave it to her. Thank you. terrics

 

How are things?

Posted by DaisyM on June 5, 2004, at 19:05:43

In reply to Re: DBT therapist...Did I find a nut..trigger** » fallsfall, posted by terrics on June 5, 2004, at 17:45:31

Terrics,

I was reading this thread and wondered how you are feeling this weekend? Are you staying busy? I agree with everyone else. She should have called you back.

Please take care of yourself and be responsible about wound care too...(sorry, nurse in me)And eat healthy and take your vitamins. I'm sending you good thoughts.
Daisy

 

Re: How are things? » DaisyM

Posted by terrics on June 7, 2004, at 20:54:21

In reply to How are things?, posted by DaisyM on June 5, 2004, at 19:05:43

Hi Daisy, I feel much better. I workd on Sat. [we have same proffession] and went out with my sister Sun. Today I started group skills and it was good. Tomorrow I have therapy and will have to get up the courage to ask this T. a number of things that she does that really bother me, like not calling back. thanks Daisy. terrics

 

Re: DBT and cutting??

Posted by B2chica on June 10, 2004, at 11:38:35

In reply to Re: How are things? » DaisyM, posted by terrics on June 7, 2004, at 20:54:21

Hey terrics
i know this is a belated how are things, but just wanted to see how you are from one cutter to another.
I haven't been in therapy very long so i don't want to speak badly of any therapy and maybe i just don't understand DBT but i don't understand why they would "punish" you and not let you call your T for 24 hours after you cut. I don't know about you but for me cutting is SO 'in the moment' that i normally can't really control too much. usually i'm hysterical or boiling with anger or hatred (though usually at myself) that i cut otheer parts of me so i don't cut my wrists or something stupid. Even after you cut, if you still need more i would hope that you could call someone instead of holding your feelings over for another 24 hours?
am i not understanding here? and does this method seem to work for people? -fyi i am being sincere here, not sarcastic or mean. I just want to understand.
and maybe what i seem to feel when i cut is just different than 'normal'????
any thoughts or explanations helpful.

and i Truly hope you are doing well Terrics.
B2c.

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » B2chica

Posted by terrics on June 10, 2004, at 19:28:49

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting??, posted by B2chica on June 10, 2004, at 11:38:35

Hi B2c, I have been in traditional therapy for years and nothing gets better. DBT is specifically
for borderlines. I just started it. It has the best success rate of all therapies for borderlines. You can call your T very often, as long as you call before you do something 'stupid'. If you cut that is all you get to talk about for your whole next therapy session. It almost feels like brainwashing to me. The reason the T did not call back was because she never got my message. She was very apologetic. DBT tries to teach you alternatives to cutting. I am trying very hard this week not to because I am sick of talking about it. Hope you treatment is going well. I know what you mean about that immediate response to anger....cut. That is what I am trying to control. Let me know how you are doing and what kind of therapy you are in. terrics

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » terrics

Posted by B2chica on June 11, 2004, at 10:06:33

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting?? » B2chica, posted by terrics on June 10, 2004, at 19:28:49

>>It has the best success rate of all therapies for borderlines. You can call your T very often, as long as you call before you do something 'stupid'. If you cut that is all you get to talk about for your whole next therapy session.

-This is good to hear. and i am glad that it was just a missed message as to why she didn't call you back.

>>DBT tries to teach you alternatives to cutting.

-i got a LOT of this while i was in the hospital, they would sit with you and go down the list that you created to alternatives and i would Definately get sick of this. And in fact it DID work for quite a while, i think it was a month that i did NO cutting even though most of the emotions were still there.

>>I am trying very hard this week not to because I am sick of talking about it.

-i could definately see this as a deterrant!

-i guess i'm just really new to all this therapy stuff, still need to learn the "types" and lingo and things, so i really appreaciate your response.
to be honest i have No idea what Type i'm in. He never specified and i never asked. When i started i didn't even realize there WERE different kinds.

-these last two weeks i did cut quite a few times, i think several things were going on. Last session i told him i was quite glad i hadn't cut in about two weeks, that night i became a puddle of mess and cut, maybe cuz of what we talked about, maybe cuz i new i wouldn't see him for two weeks (he was gone this week), i also got into a Real confrontation with my boss -i think what sent me over was he wouldn't even let me finish what i was saying when he was accusing me of something i didn't do. I think that took me back growing up, feeling that helplessness and skyrocketed frustration. boy i wanted to just shred myself. and who knows, maybe part of it is becoming more and more a secretive thing. Maybe i feel like i'm going to share some of my secrets with my T, so i'm giving myself more secrets with the cuts. (i'm married and hide these cuts from my hubby-quite a challenge).

Thanks for sharing and caring terrics.
Take care you.
B2c.

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » B2chica

Posted by terrics on June 11, 2004, at 16:35:33

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting?? » terrics, posted by B2chica on June 11, 2004, at 10:06:33

Hi again, I am also married and I also hide it from hubby. He has no clue. I think he would be furious if he saw the mess. Sometimes I feel like it is a silly, and really sick game. I am still good this week. I'm curious what therapy will be like if we do not talk about cutting. Keep in touch. terrics

 

Re: DBT and cutting??

Posted by kiwi on June 27, 2004, at 18:53:30

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting?? » B2chica, posted by terrics on June 11, 2004, at 16:35:33

im new to this, i was diagnosed with BPD about a year and a half ago. i technically cut also, but havent in about 4 months, i think. i am not in a DBT program, i actually see a hypno theripist. its very effective, i have been seeing her for a little over a year now, and i have made great strides. i would recomend it to anyone who is not seeing the results they want to with anything else.

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi

Posted by terrics on June 28, 2004, at 10:38:13

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting??, posted by kiwi on June 27, 2004, at 18:53:30

Thank you Kiwi. I am going to give DBT a little more time, but perhaps my next step will be hypno. I do not think ANY form of talk therapy works for me. Thanks again. terrics

 

Re: DBT and cutting??

Posted by kiwi on June 28, 2004, at 11:19:08

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi, posted by terrics on June 28, 2004, at 10:38:13

thats great, terrics, i hope it works out for you. the biggest advantage, that isnt availible elsewhere, is that with hypnosis, you can get to the root of the problem, your mind. with BPD we have altered thinking patterns, and a hypnosis theripist can change that, very effectively.
i do hope that things go well for you, if you had any questions about hypno-theripy, i know a bit about it. kiwi

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi

Posted by terrics on June 29, 2004, at 9:20:02

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting??, posted by kiwi on June 28, 2004, at 11:19:08

Hi Kiwi, Could you explain some of what hypnotherapy entails? The more info. I have on something the more secure I am in trying it as an option. AND thanks for your replys terrics

 

Re: DBT and cutting??

Posted by kiwi on June 29, 2004, at 19:57:56

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi, posted by terrics on June 29, 2004, at 9:20:02

of course i would reply, i would hate to leave you hanging. hypno-theripy gets into your head, where the problem is, to correct behaviour. like our problem is that we dont process things they way we should be able to, as children, we created alternate thinking patterns, hypnosis reverses that. its great, its very simple, hypno theripts are kind of hard to find, because you cant see a hypnotist, you need the theripist aspect as well. i will try and get some more info for you, ask questions so that i can be more direct. -kiwi

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi

Posted by terrics on June 30, 2004, at 10:42:35

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting??, posted by kiwi on June 29, 2004, at 19:57:56

Hi again, I cannot really think of more questions, except one. Do you still cut? If not, how long did it take you to stop and do you credit the hypno therapy for your stopping?

Any info is appreciated. ps My last dbt session went well so for the time being I will hang in there. I still like knowing there is an alternative though.

How are you doing now with the hypno? I hope good. terrics

 

Re: DBT and cutting??

Posted by kiwi on June 30, 2004, at 13:51:28

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi, posted by terrics on June 30, 2004, at 10:42:35

i havent cut in about 3 months, actually exactly 3 months on june 16th. my record is like 4 or 5 months tho. im weird with cutting, cause i guess that theres this part of me that just never wants to do it, and then is overpowered with everyone else because the majority does want to! ive done it twice now, quit cutting, no three times. the first time i wanted to stop, but really didnt want to if you catch my drift... but the second time and this last time, i just stopped, i really just kind of lost interest. i cant explain it any more than that, really.
actually alot of my healing was just me, i used to live somewhere else, before i moved here, and back there i was awful. i took an aspirin od on a bad impulse, thats what landed me in the hospital in the first place. i was just diagnosed with depression, impulsive behaviour, and 'mood disorder symtoms'. inpatient programs, outpatient programs, an unsupportive boyfriend. he wanted to marry me, and he was the only person to have ever actually said to me, that i was 'sick'.
hypnotherepy gave me direction, focus, is still fixing my memory problem! i have serious trauma indused memory loss!!!
when someone, anyone, wants to get better, all they need is the oppertunity. i didnt want to be what the hundreds of people ive interacted with, created, i want to be what i create. and im working on that.
my hynotherepy continues to go well, apparently my progress is very impressive.
well i hope that you fell you have options, and i think that you do.
- kiwi

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi

Posted by terrics on June 30, 2004, at 14:15:43

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting??, posted by kiwi on June 30, 2004, at 13:51:28

You sound amazing and definitely on the right track. Keep going! terrics

 

Re: DBT and cutting??

Posted by kiwi on June 30, 2004, at 17:06:17

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi, posted by terrics on June 30, 2004, at 14:15:43

hahaha thankyou, i try. so tell me, how does your dbt work for you? ive never tried it, but i have read a bit about it. do you find it effective? am i allowed to post my email address? or would i get in trouble. i am interested to know more about you, i am always anxious to meet other people 'like' me.
kiwi

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi

Posted by terrics on July 1, 2004, at 8:28:40

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting??, posted by kiwi on June 30, 2004, at 17:06:17

Hi again, There is a way to post your email address so it is not shown on the whole board. I am going to ask Diana how. This way we can talk. One thing that might deter you is my age. I am 54. My first cut was at 9 though. And I have always been borderline but did not know it until a few years ago. I just started DBT 2 months ago and am working very hard at it. It makes alot of sense, but gives the therapist too much power. I discussed that with her and she has calmed down a little. If my age is a deterrent just let me know. However it would be nice to know how well the DBT works and the hypnotherapy works. I'll let you know about the email. terrics

 

Re: DBT and cutting?? » kiwi

Posted by terrics on July 1, 2004, at 19:32:07

In reply to Re: DBT and cutting??, posted by kiwi on June 30, 2004, at 17:06:17

Hi Kiwi, If you want to email you can use:
dogsandcatsmany@yahoo.com terrics


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