Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 362120

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 30. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?

Posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 19:48:47

I don't want to get beaten with a stick this time.

 

Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » partlycloudy

Posted by Dinah on June 30, 2004, at 19:57:04

In reply to Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 19:48:47

The coast appears clear at the moment, but of course you never know.

You've got "do not post to me" protection, right?

You can always *not* open any posts that aren't from anyone you know and trust. And we can let you know if anything is amiss.

Oh, what policy hath wrought! One practically needs a disclosure phalanx of protection. :(

I would like to hear about your latest experience though. If you don't feel safe posting it, perhaps you could email me?

 

Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » Dinah

Posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 19:58:15

In reply to Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » partlycloudy, posted by Dinah on June 30, 2004, at 19:57:04

Will do the email thing.

 

Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » partlycloudy

Posted by Dinah on June 30, 2004, at 20:00:14

In reply to Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » Dinah, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 19:58:15

I know a lot of people are mainly using Open, too.

And if you change your mind, I'll volunteer to guard your rear, or be forward guard if you prefer. (wry smile)

 

Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?

Posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 20:13:36

In reply to Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » partlycloudy, posted by Dinah on June 30, 2004, at 20:00:14

What, you play basketball too??? Amazing!! I'm not a "Open" participant, but I have sent you a wee message.
thx.

 

Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » partlycloudy

Posted by daisym on June 30, 2004, at 23:36:44

In reply to Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 19:48:47

I wish you would share. I've had so many creeping memories this week. They are painful and disturbing. I'm working so hard trying to unload the emotions that go with each one. I like hearing about your success with EMDR. It gives me hope that there is a way off of this roller coaster.

so, if you feel safe enough, I'll watch your back too...

 

Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?

Posted by TofuEmmy on June 30, 2004, at 23:44:43

In reply to Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 20:13:36

PC - I'll gladly throw myself on his/her sword to defend your right to post from your heart. I don't mind missing a week or two! :-)

Emmy, your pal

 

Me too (nm)

Posted by antigua on June 30, 2004, at 23:46:03

In reply to Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?, posted by TofuEmmy on June 30, 2004, at 23:44:43

 

Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?

Posted by shadows721 on June 30, 2004, at 23:59:58

In reply to Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 19:48:47

((Shadows staggering back from Admin bd.)):0

If you don't feel confortable here, you can chat with us on Open. I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND why you feeling this way. (Wish there was an underline feature here.) I certainly have changed my views.

 

Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » shadows721

Posted by snapper on July 1, 2004, at 0:24:59

In reply to Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience?, posted by shadows721 on June 30, 2004, at 23:59:58

Shadows, cloudy? whos here?????

Snapper

 

To: snapper

Posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 2:07:53

In reply to Re: Do I dare share my latest EMDR experience? » shadows721, posted by snapper on July 1, 2004, at 0:24:59

Hey,

How have you been? I sure have been thinking about you. I hope you are doing well.

 

OK, deep breath taken

Posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 6:59:03

In reply to To: snapper, posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 2:07:53

WOW! Thanks for all your encouragement. I'll keep it brief.

This time we worked on confidence, pride, skills, sense of accomplishment. The way we got to it was, ummmm, via the memory of my dead cat Rascal. She was a mighty hunter, she only let me pet her, I knew all her secret spots around her ears that would induce rapture. She was my very best friend when I was a kid. When she died, my grief went on for what seemed like months. My heart was broken, she was so sweet and loving. I had never lost a companion before.

So we brought up an image of me and my cat having a "conversation". The message of which was that Rascal wants me to have the same pride and sense of accomplishment that she did in being a cat. Provider of dead mice, defender of her territory, unmarked by battle scars. She wants me to have that confidence that she had because she said I'm very good at being human, but I don't believe it.

So I am to incorporate this message into my daily meditation and rehearse going through my work day with pride, confidence, and accomplishment.

I had fleeting panic all the way here this morning. When I walked in the front door, a real feeling of peace stole through me, and I realized that I've never felt so relaxed in my job before.

So - not spectacular. It's making my work day ever so much more pleasant to have these thoughts with me today.

We also discussed the 1 or 2 T possibilities. I've decided to stay the course of EMDR with this therapist, which should be another 3 or 4 sessions, while continuing with my original T. At the end of the EMDR, I'll continue seeing my T for as long as we feel necessary. I'm very comfortable with that arrangement.

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken » partlycloudy

Posted by Dinah on July 1, 2004, at 8:19:58

In reply to OK, deep breath taken, posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 6:59:03

Congratulations on your courage! We'll do our best to make sure that you don't get any fallout from it.

I think that sounds like a very positive experience! And while it might not have *felt* as spectacular as the first EMDR session, managing to find a way to incorporate positive views of yourself on a deeper level than you ordinarily can manage sounds pretty spectacular to me. :)

Has the EMDR therapist worked with you on ways to consolidate and retain the insights you've developed in EMDR? I never got that far with it, so I'm not familiar with the protocol. Will your regular therapist be part of that process?

I'm glad you were able to come to a decision you feel comfortable with. I don't know about you, but for me, the decision-making process is far more stressful than any decision I actually make. :)

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken » Dinah

Posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 8:51:47

In reply to Re: OK, deep breath taken » partlycloudy, posted by Dinah on July 1, 2004, at 8:19:58

From my understanding, since I have a meditation practice already in place, I should be incorporating these affirmations into it. What my experience so far, though, is that once having gone through this processing of emotions and memories, the "fix" is in place. So today at work, for example, I'm walking down the halls with my head up instead of looking at my chipped nailpolish on my toes. Instead of my usual tunnel vision, that "I just have to get through this day without getting fired" feeling, I'm taking in my environment and know that I'm doing my possible best. The peace that I'm developing is carrying over quite naturally into the day-to-day activities.

I am trying too to be much more aware of the connectivity of my environment; people, animals, places - the many forms of energy that unite us if we are able to observe and appreciate it. That isn't a spiritual leap for me, because I have this nebulous belief already that everything around us is part of a whole; that there is giving and taking of energy at all times. I am really bad at explaining this stuff, but I "get" it.

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 1, 2004, at 8:55:58

In reply to Re: OK, deep breath taken » Dinah, posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 8:51:47

That experience sounds really great! How ingenious to use the image of your cat and beloved friend to give you inspiration!

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken » partlycloudy

Posted by antigua on July 1, 2004, at 9:21:30

In reply to OK, deep breath taken, posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 6:59:03

Wow, that sounds great. I like your T plan too. I know what you mean about that sense of peace. I feel it more around me now than I ever thought possible. I caught myself the other day saying "so, THIS is what it feels like to feel content. I can live w/it. This is how regular people must feel." Sometimes I know I get caught up in the trauma, but this peacefulness is definitely great.

I'm happy it's working so well for you.
antigua

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken

Posted by B2chica on July 1, 2004, at 10:01:14

In reply to Re: OK, deep breath taken » partlycloudy, posted by antigua on July 1, 2004, at 9:21:30

pc
i am very happy to hear you've had such a positive experience with this. and Thank You for sharing. I guess i haven't been following along and am sorry you felt unsafe to post. i think that's awful! you have been Nothing but supportive to me and others and just want you to know i've got your back also.
b2c.

 

To all who've responded

Posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 10:12:47

In reply to Re: OK, deep breath taken, posted by B2chica on July 1, 2004, at 10:01:14

You are the most supportive people I have ever met. It is a true affirmation to be able to tell you all of my experiences and get such positive feedback. THIS is what our forum here at Babble is all about. I am eternally grateful for this help in my recovery - more valuable than any medication or therapy. To know that I am not alone; to know that others might benefit from learning of my treatment; it's an empowering process for me.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.

 

Re: To: Shadows

Posted by snapper on July 1, 2004, at 11:56:21

In reply to To: snapper, posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 2:07:53

Hey Shadows, whats up? I have been wondering about you too!My days have been looooong and agonizing. I wish this were not the case, but it is!I seem to get no respite from the constant pressure in my head. I wish I could turn off my brain!I don't have another ECT treatment til next wed.(July 7th) the dr. is out of town at a Mental Health Conference.I asked them if the break in the treatment protocol would effect the overall outcome of the full scheduled 12 treatments, and they said no it would not! I want to get them over with so they can effectively treat my anxiety problem. The only thing that I am taking now is 12mg Gabatril at night with 20 mg of Ambien and that knocks me out for a few hrs but its' not a restful sleep.Then when I do wake up in the A.M., I take another 10mg Ambien and 1 4mg Gabatril to coax my brain into a few more hrs of broken sleep. If I could sleep 16 to 18 hrs a day, I would! If I did'nt know better, I would kill myself! But somewhere , I know that there is hope from this continual mental anguish! There isn't an hour go by that I don't think about death but there is too much that is keeping me from it! The migraines, the tinittus, the hyper-vigilance, the sensitivity to lights and sounds is sometimes too much. I feel like my body and brain are slowly but surely, failing and falling apart on me.I feel like a waste and a complete loser! I can't believe that I ever allowed myself to get this sick! I am thankful for this place. It seems like Babble is my only refuge right now! I don't find solace or comfort in sleep, in music or watching TV. Just too much violence on TV and it seems so sensless. Music is not much comfort either. So I isolate out of neccessity. People say not to do that when one is depressed, but I do it so I don't go on sensory overload and end up hurting something, someone or myself. I guess its just self-preservation. I'll quit ramblin...if anyone has anything good to say, I'm all ears. I know I can't be the only one who is or has gone through this kind of BS.There must be a way out! Thanks for listening and reading!
Snapper

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken » partlycloudy

Posted by daisym on July 1, 2004, at 13:14:18

In reply to OK, deep breath taken, posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 6:59:03

I like the image of a conversation with your cat. They are so self-contained and full of confidence. I guess I want to know if you felt vulnerable or exposed. I'm so use to guarding myself that the treatment feels invasive looking at it from the outside.

As far as affirmations go, the new O magazine has a story on those. I liked many of the ones people submitted as using. But my favorite was "breathe". Just think in your head, "breathe" and see if it doesn't calm you down.

Thank you for sharing.

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken » partlycloudy

Posted by tabitha on July 1, 2004, at 13:17:41

In reply to OK, deep breath taken, posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 6:59:03

that's such an inspiring success story. It's motivating me to give EMDR another try. My T works it into our usual sessions when I'm open to it.

It must have felt so good to hear from your dear Rascal!

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken » daisym

Posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 13:46:54

In reply to Re: OK, deep breath taken » partlycloudy, posted by daisym on July 1, 2004, at 13:14:18

> I like the image of a conversation with your cat. They are so self-contained and full of confidence. I guess I want to know if you felt vulnerable or exposed. I'm so use to guarding myself that the treatment feels invasive looking at it from the outside.
>
The therapist had me bring up a picture in my mind of Rascal in her favourite place (a rose bush in the front yard) with me sitting beside her. Then she had me watch this conversation as an observer, so I was reporting the exchange but not overtly participating (I wasn't repeating the conversation verbatim). My cat and I had such a strong rapport that it was easy to conjure this image. I'm not guarded at all with this therapist, just very willing and eager to be well again. From the outset, she has impressed upon me the importance of this exchange of energy; the use of soothing colours and sounds in my environment, and meditate, meditate, meditate. Just making those simple changes has brought me some calm.

 

Re: To: Shadows

Posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 15:32:45

In reply to Re: To: Shadows, posted by snapper on July 1, 2004, at 11:56:21

Your symptoms sound just overwhelming to me. Can't that doc give you some Klonopin and Seroquel? Klonopin is a anticonvulsant too. You could take 25 mg Seroquel for the sleep. I find it really works great. Even just 0.5mg of klonopin would help calm down some of these symptoms in between therapies.

Are you feeling any relief (for depression) from any of these ECT treatment? Snapper, you didn't bring on these symptoms. You aren't a loser either. You are very brave to under go this long tx process. I am not going through it and it seems like eternity. Does this doc realize how much you are suffering?

If I weren't medicated properly, I just can't imagine the state I would be in. Pardon my ignorance on ECT. Is it that the doc really wants to see your true symptomsm, so that he can see improvement? But, my goodness, this duration of time without medication of symptoms seems almost unbearable to me.

Before each tx, do they go over a review of how you feel now? I mean with the symptoms you listed. I think a doc would have to medicate you a bit more.

 

Re: OK, deep breath taken

Posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 15:38:59

In reply to OK, deep breath taken, posted by partlycloudy on July 1, 2004, at 6:59:03

Partlycloudly,

This is a big piece of trauma work that I haven't been able to accomplish. So, I am really proud of you. What an empowering anchor the cat represents for you! Please keep us posted on your EMDR. It sounds like it is working miracles of progress.

 

Re: To: Shadows » shadows721

Posted by snapper on July 1, 2004, at 16:01:44

In reply to Re: To: Shadows, posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 15:32:45

> Your symptoms sound just overwhelming to me. Can't that doc give you some Klonopin and Seroquel? Klonopin is a anticonvulsant too. You could take 25 mg Seroquel for the sleep. I find it really works great. Even just 0.5mg of klonopin would help calm down some of these symptoms in between therapies.
>
> Are you feeling any relief (for depression) from any of these ECT treatment? Snapper, you didn't bring on these symptoms. You aren't a loser either. You are very brave to under go this long tx process. I am not going through it and it seems like eternity. Does this doc realize how much you are suffering?
>
> If I weren't medicated properly, I just can't imagine the state I would be in. Pardon my ignorance on ECT. Is it that the doc really wants to see your true symptomsm, so that he can see improvement? But, my goodness, this duration of time without medication of symptoms seems almost unbearable to me.
>
> Before each tx, do they go over a review of how you feel now? I mean with the symptoms you listed. I think a doc would have to medicate you a bit more.
>
> Hey Shadows,You are correct in your assertation(sp) of my symptomologies and what the doc. can and can not give me , med wise, while I am going through the ECT tx process. No I really do not think he even has a clue as to how much misery I am in, but then again he may. But I doubt it! I can't have anything that would interfere with the 'seizure process'ie: klonopin or otherwise. Yes they ask me how I am doing ...before each tx. and after ea. tx. it gets written down in my chart and I am sure he reads it but I just don't think a lot of Pdocs take the gravity of severe anxiety too seriously. I don't know why I feel that way...maybe they do take it seriously and it is just that they can't throw a bunch of pharmacology at me while they are trying to get a 'good therapuetic response' from the ECT. It is soooooo frustrating and is the intensity of my symptoms that make me feel suicidal. It is a 'catch 22'.He says if I am feeling suicidal that I need to be in the hospital.... but what the hell are they gonna do for me in the hospital? Treat the anxiety? Screw up the process of ECT and drive me totally nuts. I do not do well in the hospital!! I feel like I am stuck
I could say more but I don't want to keep rambling!
snapper


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