Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 354179

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bothered by this

Posted by lucy stone on June 7, 2004, at 15:22:22

In reply to Re: CBT questions, posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 13:25:08

I'm sorry, but I am enormously bothered by this. What gives you the right to be skeptical of my chosen form of treatment? Many of the treatment forms people on this board choose would not be for me, but I am not skeptical when they say that they have helped by them. This is a support board, and it is not helpful to people when others express skepticism for their chosen form of therapy. It doesn't make me doubt my choice of treatment, but it triggers the anger and sense of outrage that I am dealing with in my therapy. I am tempted to tear into you, but I can hear my analyst's voice in my head discussing with me why I would want to do that, who I would be attacking, and what I think it would get me. That voice is stopping me from a behavior that I know is not good for me.

 

Re: bothered by this

Posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 15:38:18

In reply to bothered by this, posted by lucy stone on June 7, 2004, at 15:22:22

Are you saying that my skepticism about your chosen therapy is so disturbing to you that I should not voice my skepticism? That seems convoluted to me, but I will be glad to stop posting on this if others agree with you.

You must be aware of the controversies surrounding all psychotherapies. To not discuss them doesn't settle well with me, but that's how I am > Always want to hear both sides of a controversy.

Sorry for causing you distress.

 

Re: CBT questions fires

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 7, 2004, at 15:40:41

In reply to Re: CBT questions, posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 14:23:48

Everything I have read of CBT indicates it is a short term therapy. I have no idea whay it has taken me this long. I'm sure a lot of factors come into play with different people. I have discussed my concern about this with my T but he says it is a mistake to compare myself to other people and that I have come a long way. Perhaps I was more disturbed than I thought. It has also been VERY hard to dismiss my irrational thinking. Perhaps some people can do this better, but it has been a real struggle for me. Perhaps I am an anomaly or perhaps I'm just slow.

 

LucyStone - Re: Bothered

Posted by rockymtnhi on June 7, 2004, at 15:46:13

In reply to Re: bothered by this, posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 15:38:18

I agree that we should not pass judgment. We are all here for the same reason: to offer and receive support.

I have been in CBT for over a year now too. It depends on how often the sessions are and what obstacles must be overcome. CBT generally is short-term but not always. Some go back for tune-ups after CBT ends.

For any therapy to work, one must work at it. That includes work on the part of the client and the therapist.

Let's continue to be supportive of one-another.

 

Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered rockymtnhi

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 7, 2004, at 15:56:53

In reply to LucyStone - Re: Bothered, posted by rockymtnhi on June 7, 2004, at 15:46:13

Rocky, I feel better to know that you too have been in CBT for over a year. I think if you have mild anxiety and some depression you can go in for 3 months and be great. For me, I am NOT on medication and I came in with severe anxiety and depression.

 

Re: CBT questions fires

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 7, 2004, at 16:01:33

In reply to Re: CBT questions, posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 14:23:48

That's an interesting article. For me, the easing of my severe anxiety and depression has eradicated my hypochondria. My T treats hypochondria as a SYMPTOM of anxiety and depression, not as a disorder in its own right.

Also, I am not on any form of medication, so perhaps that may be one reason for my slowness with CBT. My depression and anxiety were pretty severe.

 

Re: CBT questions

Posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 16:05:11

In reply to Re: CBT questions fires, posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 7, 2004, at 15:40:41

Thanks for the info.. I have an old book by David Burns, MD, titled "The Feeling Good Handbook", 1989, which is about "cognitive therapy".

On page 468 he states that: "If you have been working hard in your psychotherapy for a couple of months and you feel stuck, you may benefit from a medication."

Maybe your in this group? Just asking, not implying.

 

Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered

Posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 16:19:32

In reply to LucyStone - Re: Bothered, posted by rockymtnhi on June 7, 2004, at 15:46:13

I've run into this "problem" on other groups. People say not to be judgmental and don't offer different viewpoints/explanations. This has come up when I have made posts regarding the dangers of herbal meds. I felt I was providing a good public service (supportive) by warning others about health threats -- others said that I wasn't being supportive. Why would I want to support people engaging in dangerous health practices?

What would you suggest a good reply would be to a woman on this group, if she came forth and said that she was improving tremendously since she had started having sex with her therapist?

I think a judgmental reply would be the best thing for her. Supporting her just because her therapy is working well seems illogical, in this case. Of course there are those who don't think that therapists shouldn't be restricted from having sex with patients, but I don't want to go near that topic!!

I hope you see my point.

 

Re: CBT questions

Posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 16:39:14

In reply to Re: CBT questions fires, posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 7, 2004, at 16:01:33

I've had 3 major depressions in my life. None followed "triggering events". I had electroconvulsive therapy as a last resort for my first episode and like therapy, and inadequate med trials, it didn't help. Time alone and some dietary changes seemed to help (wheat and milk eliminated).

My second episode resolved in about 6-8 weeks thanks to Parnate and a psychiatrist who, didn't believe in psychobabble. Close to my discharge day, he told me when he entered the room, "You won't believe what a nurse just asked me?" I asked him what she had asked. He said that she wondered if he was going to start working on my problems since I was greatly improved. He asked her what problems she was talking about, adding that Depression WAS my PROBLEM. We both got a chuckle from her attitude.

My 3rd episode was late last year and Effexor and Clonazepam helped bring me out of that. Thank God I had a good Resident at a Univ Med Ctr, or I wouldn't have stuck with Effexor due to the tough physical symtoms I experienced with every doseage increase.

I know that some psychobabblers will probably rush in to tell me that Effexor is going to kill me, they did on the med. site, but that's ok.;)

I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams how CBT could have gotten me out of Dep. when I couldn't think well enough,talk loud enough, or communicate anything other than my most basic needs.

Anyway, I'm glad it is working for you.

 

Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered Miss Honeychurch

Posted by karen_kay on June 7, 2004, at 17:41:07

In reply to Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered rockymtnhi, posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 7, 2004, at 15:56:53

miss honey,

i too was in CBT for over a year. it's helped me tremendously in overcoming anxiety and finding new ways to deal with stress. i have found that i no longer 'flip out' over minor details or daily stressors. i think my therapist was veyr helpful in also discussing dreams, past memories and other things not usually typical in CBT thereapy (am i even right in saying that? i'm no expert so i could be wrong).

sometimes it takes some longer than others. but, CBT was very helpful for me. also helpful though, were other techniques incorporated into therapy.

 

Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered

Posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 18:00:34

In reply to Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered Miss Honeychurch, posted by karen_kay on June 7, 2004, at 17:41:07

I don't wish to sound condescending, but I don't generally "flip out" over minor details or daily stressors. My PDoc may disagree. ;)

I'd be very interested in learning what, if any reasons, were learned to be responsible your flipping out?

Best wishes

 

Question for fires fires

Posted by gardenergirl on June 7, 2004, at 20:19:21

In reply to Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered, posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 18:00:34

Fires,
I was just curious, perhaps because I have learned to listen to my free associations. But how did you choose your screen name? I mean, when I see fires, I think flames. This came to me since the beginning of this thread, but of course only you know why you chose your ID.
gg

 

Re: Question for fires

Posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 21:10:12

In reply to Question for fires fires, posted by gardenergirl on June 7, 2004, at 20:19:21

I chose the name because I at one time wanted to be in a wildland firefighting agency -- hopefully as a Division Chief. Health problems shot that career.

Free association? Is that like when a person says cigar, it doesn't necessarily mean anything about male anatomy? ;)

Oh lord, I'm getting tired/silly.

 

Re: double double quotes fires

Posted by Dr. Bob on June 7, 2004, at 23:26:57

In reply to Re: CBT questions, posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 16:05:11

> I have an old book by David Burns, MD, titled "The Feeling Good Handbook", 1989, which is about "cognitive therapy"...

I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon

The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html

Thanks!

Bob

 

Re: bothered by this

Posted by Dr. Bob on June 7, 2004, at 23:41:33

In reply to bothered by this, posted by lucy stone on June 7, 2004, at 15:22:22

> I am tempted to tear into you, but I can hear my analyst's voice in my head discussing with me why I would want to do that, who I would be attacking, and what I think it would get me. That voice is stopping me from a behavior that I know is not good for me.

Thanks for resisting. It's OK for people to be skeptical. If someone bothers you, it may be best just not to respond. Or even to read their posts.

There may be posters who try to start arguments and upset others. Of course, not everyone who starts an argument or upsets someone else *intends* to do so.

Bob

 

Re: CBT questions fires

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 8, 2004, at 2:14:12

In reply to Re: CBT questions, posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 16:05:11

Well, I don't feel "stuck." I've been making steady progress. I have yet to feel as though I haven't been getting better by the month. When and if I feel that is ever the case, then I will explore medication.

 

Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 8, 2004, at 2:16:53

In reply to Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered, posted by fires on June 7, 2004, at 18:00:34

> I don't wish to sound condescending, but I don't generally "flip out" over minor details or daily stressors. My PDoc may disagree. ;)
>
> I'd be very interested in learning what, if any reasons, were learned to be responsible your flipping out?
>
> Best wishes


Well, that DID come off as condescending. Your second paragraph would have been sufficient.

 

Re: double double quotes

Posted by fires on June 8, 2004, at 12:28:58

In reply to Re: double double quotes fires, posted by Dr. Bob on June 7, 2004, at 23:26:57

I was not aware of the double quotes feature.
I will try it with this post. Book referred to earlier on cognitive therapy: "The Feeling Good Handbook".

Thanks

 

Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered

Posted by fires on June 8, 2004, at 12:39:23

In reply to Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered, posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 8, 2004, at 2:16:53

To avoid sounding condescending I included the statement about what my PDoc might think with the ;).

Like my former MD was known to say about disagreements: "Well, that's what makes a horserace."

Best wishes

 

Re: please rephrase that Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Dr. Bob on June 9, 2004, at 22:20:52

In reply to Re: LucyStone - Re: Bothered, posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 8, 2004, at 2:16:53

> Well, that DID come off as condescending.

Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused, could you please rephrase that?

If you have any questions or comments about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

or redirect a follow-up to Psycho-Babble Administration.

Thanks,

Bob

PS: Remember, if someone bothers you, it may be best just not to respond. Or even not to read their posts. There may be posters who try to start arguments and upset others. Of course, not everyone who starts arguments or upsets others *intends* to do so.

 

Re: please rephrase that Dr. Bob

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 10, 2004, at 8:31:24

In reply to Re: please rephrase that Miss Honeychurch, posted by Dr. Bob on June 9, 2004, at 22:20:52

I'm not sure I know how to rephrase that.

"In my opinion, that sounded condescending?"

 

Re: please rephrase that

Posted by fires on June 10, 2004, at 11:00:57

In reply to Re: please rephrase that Dr. Bob, posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 10, 2004, at 8:31:24

I understand. I just posted a message on another web forum in which my debater called me stupid, retarded, and idiotic. I merely replied, "I don't talk trash, have a good life."

thanks

 

Re: some suggestions? - DR. BOB and Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Dinah on June 10, 2004, at 12:12:45

In reply to Re: please rephrase that Dr. Bob, posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 10, 2004, at 8:31:24

I think what Dr. Bob is aiming for is an I statement, how you felt when you read the statement. Instead of a comment on the statement or the maker of the statement.

So I think, "I felt (insert adjective here) when I read that", rather than "I think the statement was condescending" or "I think you were condescending." Let me think of some good adjectives you could insert - hurt? belittled? (I'd have to get Dr. Bob's opinion on "belittled" or "condescended to").

Or a statement that you are very happy for the other person that they don't flip out over daily stressors or minor incidents, but that to you those things aren't minor, and you don't appreciate them being characterized as minor, or your reactions being characterized as flipping out over daily stressors. That you feel you do important work with your therapist and hate to see it described in that way. That you certainly don't wish to flip out over a minor occurence but would appreciate your person and your problems being treated with respect.

Perhaps you could wait for Dr. Bob to respond to this thread before saying more in case I'm giving you bad advice here.

And Dr. Bob, perhaps you can infer from my post here that it is my opinion that you might have missed some things on this thread. Perhaps you could revisit it?

 

Re: some suggestions? - DR. BOB and

Posted by fires on June 10, 2004, at 12:43:43

In reply to Re: some suggestions? - DR. BOB and Miss Honeychurch, posted by Dinah on June 10, 2004, at 12:12:45

I'll wait for Dr. Bob. I'm not "getting" the idea, if it applies to me. (I didn't say that I found anything condescending.)

Thanks

 

Re: please rephrase that again Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Dr. Bob on June 12, 2004, at 8:23:41

In reply to Re: some suggestions? - DR. BOB and Miss Honeychurch, posted by Dinah on June 10, 2004, at 12:12:45

> I think what Dr. Bob is aiming for is an I statement, how you felt when you read the statement. Instead of a comment on the statement or the maker of the statement.

Exactly right, thanks for clarifying.

> And Dr. Bob, perhaps you can infer from my post here that it is my opinion that you might have missed some things on this thread. Perhaps you could revisit it?

Sorry, could you be more specific? Maybe in an email if you'd rather not post it? Thanks,

Bob

PS: Remember, everyone, if someone bothers you, it may be best just not to respond. Or even not to read their posts. There may be posters who try to start arguments and upset others. Of course, not everyone who starts arguments or upsets others *intends* to do so.


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