Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 352557

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What should I say?

Posted by rockymtnhi on May 31, 2004, at 22:22:52

Most likely next week, I will need to disclose to members in group therapy that I have been physically and sexually abused. I don't mind telling them as much as I mind hearing their comments afterwards. For example, I expect they will say something caring and supportive. The group T will ask me what I think about their response. My "true" response is that I am not able to hear it. I don't want to alienate anyone by expressing that. What could I say in response that will not make them feel rejected? (This is not a sexual abuse group but I suspect there are others in the group who have been sexually abused).

 

Re: What should I say?

Posted by pegasus on May 31, 2004, at 23:48:49

In reply to What should I say?, posted by rockymtnhi on May 31, 2004, at 22:22:52

Well, I think the explanation that you gave us sounds honest and not hurtful. For example, maybe you could just say that you appreciate their comments (if you do) and know that they are being sincere (if you do), and that it is really difficult for you to hear and accept support around this issue. I would think that most people would understand that, and not feel rejected.

I think it's really sweet of you to be concerned about them feeling rejected about this.

pegasus

 

Re: What should I say?

Posted by antigua on June 1, 2004, at 12:46:54

In reply to What should I say?, posted by rockymtnhi on May 31, 2004, at 22:22:52

Not that you will, but I had big problems w/this. It didn't work out well for me at all. But I got pushed, no downright forced into disclosing it before I was ready. The reaction from my group was horrible. One or two people said something afterwards, but nobody said anything at the time. I found it really hurtful. Also, there was one guy who, I guess, thought I was fair game and started making some really inappropriate remarks to me.

I'm sure your experience will be much better--you seem more self-assured than I was at the time.
antigua

 

Re: What should I say?

Posted by rockymtnhi on June 1, 2004, at 14:33:06

In reply to Re: What should I say?, posted by pegasus on May 31, 2004, at 23:48:49

Thank you, Pegasus. Your comments are very helpful and has reduced my anxiety considerably.

 

Re: What should I say?

Posted by rockymtnhi on June 1, 2004, at 14:41:32

In reply to Re: What should I say?, posted by antigua on June 1, 2004, at 12:46:54

Antigua,

I'm sorry to hear that your experience was so negative. It's tough to hear the loudness of silence after you have disclosed some very personal information. My heart goes out to you.

That guy who thought you were fair game...just bring him over here so I can give him a piece of my mind. What was he thinking?

I don't feel a need to disclose past abuse at all. Others in my group have done it so I am the odd person out. I already feel uncomfortable so all little more won't be terrible.

Hugs to you.

 

Re: What should I say? rockymtnhi

Posted by antigua on June 1, 2004, at 17:47:52

In reply to Re: What should I say?, posted by rockymtnhi on June 1, 2004, at 14:41:32

Good, I'm glad you're so confident. I didn't mean to sound "wimpy," it's just that I don't want anyone to get hurt. (I'm a bit protective).

As to that guy, he was about 6 ft tall, just about a foot taller than I am, and he gave me the creeps... I'll have to think about what would have been a suitable punishment...
take care,
antigua

 

Re: What should I say?

Posted by tinydancer on June 2, 2004, at 9:59:31

In reply to What should I say?, posted by rockymtnhi on May 31, 2004, at 22:22:52

I'm just curious about your use of words. Why do you need to tell? I have to admit my disclosure was a total disaster and ruined my experience in group. Why? Because I didn't cry when I told it, a lot of people thought I was lying. Also, they didn't give any type of support-through words, or actions. I've kind of lost my hope in groups. I don't think its them, I think its me. I talk to much, don't listen and I don't give people a chance to help me. I don't know. I just hope that you feel that the group members have been supportive to you in the past so that you can feel secure in any disclosures. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

Re: What should I say? tinydancer

Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2004, at 9:36:15

In reply to Re: What should I say?, posted by tinydancer on June 2, 2004, at 9:59:31

What a horrible experience! Didn't you get any support from the group leader, who should have the training to know that different people deal with things differently.

 

Re: What should I say?

Posted by rockymtnhi on June 3, 2004, at 11:51:58

In reply to Re: What should I say?, posted by tinydancer on June 2, 2004, at 9:59:31

Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I am prepared to hear silence now that I have heard it from several posters In fact, I think if it happens to me, I am goind to be bold enough to say something about it.

I am stunned that the therapist did not intervene on your behalf. I wish that I could have been there to comfort you.


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