Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 350659

Shown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please

Posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16

I don’t know why I’ve been hesitating to post about this, but I have. It’s just been so hard to even think about much less write about, I guess. So, here it goes.

On Saturday, my session with my T started out like this:

T: I want to let you know I’ll be absent next Saturday over the holiday weekend.

AD: No problem. I was going to ask if you would be taking the day off.

AD thinking: (Crap. Two out of four sessions cancelled. :()

(Silent pause)

T: There’s something else I want to let you know.

AD: (Crap. Dread sets in rather quickly. I feel like some sort of termination speech is coming.)

T: I’m leaving this clinic in early August and will be at my private practice only.

(This means insurance won’t cover my visits.)

(Silent pause)

(I start crying.)

AD: Crap.

T: Can you tell me more about that – “crap”?

(I may have rolled my eyes at this point. Oops. I wonder if I should have congratulated him. I didn’t :()

It was a very difficult session. At first I told him I didn’t want to talk about it. So, he tried to direct the discussion elsewhere, but I kept crying even when we were talking about things I shouldn't cry about. I couldn't focus on anything. He was talking more than usual because I clammed up. I asked him why should I discuss anything with him if I won’t be able to continue to see him?

He said he works out payment arrangements with other clients, but I immediately blew that off by telling him “my husband and I make enough money. We should be able to afford it.” (I feel like I don’t want him to have to make any concessions for me. We do make a decent living, but we have a ton of credit card bills – our own fault, not my T’s, you know?) But I did ask him (jokingly) if he would tell my husband. Later, he said we could actually discuss the option of having him talk to my hubby.

Unfortunately, my husband, while he *says* he is trying to work it into our budget, is quite resistant to the idea of me paying the full rate when I could “just see another T that is covered by insurance.” HA! He understands I need therapy, but he really doesn’t understand that I need it with *my* T. I even explained that perhaps I can work out a sliding scale fee with my T, but he doesn’t want me to pay more than the $25 copay I have been paying.

I’m feeling like I’m being a burden on my husband. He’s getting frustrated the minute I even bring the subject up so I feel like I can’t even be sad about this around him. But I’m switching between wanting to cry and wanting to puke.

I’ve been in therapy for almost one year and I still don’t understand this. Why can’t I just switch to a different T? It wouldn’t kill me. I feel like it would, though.

This stinks.

A little while ago, I was afraid my insurance might not cover my visits. It turned out okay. I feel bad for making you guys go through all of my same emotions again. Sorry if I’m repetitive. And I feel like this post is all disorganized. Kind of like my thoughts, I guess.

Thanks for listening. I guess I’m just hoping you can serve up the ice cream for me.

All Done

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » All Done

Posted by DaisyM on May 26, 2004, at 1:25:25

In reply to 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16

What kind of ice cream do you need? I'll bring it...

I'm sorry you hesitated to reach out to us. OF COURSE YOU ARE SAD!!! It is really hard to think of losing your Therapist like this. And it isn't "just" a money issue. Hubby doesn't understand because unless you've been in this situation, it is impossible to understand. I never would have a year ago.

Take comfort in the fact that your Therapist wants to work it out with you. That means he wants to keep you as a client. That is a positive thing. I think you should let him, btw, regardless of where your bills came from. This is important!

It should be easier than this to find, get and keep the help we need. I wish my magic wand was working better tonight.

I'll keep brainstorming this.
Take care of yourself until then.
Daisy

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please

Posted by gardenergirl on May 26, 2004, at 8:32:27

In reply to Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » All Done, posted by DaisyM on May 26, 2004, at 1:25:25

All Done,

How awful. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I'm sorry your husband is having trouble understanding. Like Daisy said, unless they have been through it, it's just a puzzle to them. From what you described, this has you all stirred up, but remember, you have until August to make a decision. Try to take some comfort in that. That also gives you a lot of time to prepare for a transfer if needed.

I know that stinks, if that's what ends up happening. Let me tell you a bit about my experiences with transfers (as a trainee). Just to give you some perspective. If you're not ready to think about this, feel free to stop reading. I won't mind.


I've done a number of transfers with my clients, and had some transferred to me this time last year. Pretty much no one wants to transfer. I can say that in many cases it worked out okay. A couple did not, and they chose not to come back either without meeting me or after a few sessions with me. It helps to talk about the transfer and your feelings of loss and anxiety. It helps to talk about it a few different times. Because at first it might be raw. Then you settle into getting to know the new T and them getting to know you. At this point, it helps to talk again about the transfer, because feelings can get pushed aside as you try to get to work.

It CAN work to do this. But it is sad. It is a loss. And it does feel like you have lost ground and are starting over. But in many cases, you find that you can build on what you had before with your other T.

But hopefully, this won't be relevant to you, because you, your husband, and your T will be able to come to some arrangement that will work for all.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that outcome!

(((((AllDone)))))

gg

 

Hot fudge? » All Done

Posted by fallsfall on May 26, 2004, at 10:17:54

In reply to 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16

You forgot to ask for the hot fudge? Is that because it is such an obvious part of the solution that you didn't think you needed to mention it? (please don't tell me that you want Cream of Wheat on your ice cream instead of hot fudge) I will share my hot fudge with you.

It sounds like your therapist has a plan for private patients who aren't being helped by insurance. He wouldn't be making a special exception for you, so you don't have to feel guilty about it or worry about it being counter-transference.

I was trying to find an analogy that would help your husband understand why one therapist isn't the same as another therapist. I don't think I like these analogies, but here they are anyway. He has a mother (I hope) - would he choose to stop being her son and be adopted by a new mother? The new mother might be better or worse than his current mother - it really isn't possible to tell until you have gone down the road a bit. But the new mother will absolutely be *different* from his current mother. Or if he has had a best friend for many years (though this might work better to convince women than to convince men), he could trade his friend in for a new friend. But the new friend wouldn't know all of his history.

News like this is always shocking. Let it sink in a bit before you even start to make decisions about it.

Take comfort in knowing that he has given you some time to deal with the change. Take comfort in knowing that he *does* still want to work with you.

It sounds like it might be an option to tell your husband that you would like to plan to keep seeing your current therapist after he moves - maybe on a "temporary" basis? - so that you and your therapist have a chance to figure out what really is the best option (and/or transition plan) for you. This way you could feel that you have time to figure out the best decision.

If you don't want any of my hot fudge that is OK - I *am capable* of eating it all myself. But I would be happy to share.

Falls.

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » All Done

Posted by Dinah on May 26, 2004, at 11:13:48

In reply to 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16

Of course you're upset!!!

I happen to remember that your husband is a lovely man. He just doesn't understand. So it's just a matter of communicating it to him. If that includes including your therapist in the discussion, that's something I personally would freely do, as long as the conversation stayed on the topic of the importance of continuity.

I often tell my therapist that therapists aren't like washers at the laundromat. This one is out of order (or doesn't accept my money) so I'll just move to the one next door. The therapeutic relationship is a very large part of what makes therapy work.

You might also remind him that the cost effectiveness to switching therapists isn't as great as he might think. First you have to add on several months to the new therapist to come anywhere near where you are with this one, in terms of understanding you and your history. And add on several more months to deal with the trauma of premature termination. And don't forget that during this time you won't be your optimal best as a wife, mom, and employee. Plus all the extra time he'll need to spend in a supportive role.

You might sit down with your husband and let him know what things you personally are willing to give up to continue to see your therapist.

And whatever offer your therapist makes, remember he isn't required to make it. He is only offering what he is willing to accept, and I'm certain he would prefer to finish the work you have started together. Don't let pride keep you from accepting it.

And remember that if worst comes to worst, many people have successfully transitioned to a new therapist, although some have had trouble (Hey! You might tell your husband some of those stories!). Some people even find that the new therapist is better, or has new insights.

Ok, that's lame coming from me, I know. And I am sorry that this is happening. I remember how ill I get whenever even the frequency of seeing my therapist is threatened.

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » All Done

Posted by crushedout on May 26, 2004, at 12:14:03

In reply to 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16


AllDone,

that sounds really, really hard. i would feel the same way. i would start to cry. heck, i started crying yesterday just because my T is cancelling 4 sessions in the next month.

i think if i were you i would try to get to continue to see my T even if that meant your husband makes you feel bad about it. i think that's his problem. he may not be able to understand how important continuity with your T is, but i'm sure it's important.

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please

Posted by lifeworthliving on May 26, 2004, at 13:30:16

In reply to 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16

<<<<<I’ve been in therapy for almost one year and I still don’t understand this. Why can’t I just switch to a different T? It wouldn’t kill me. I feel like it would, though.>>>>


i often worry that my t will leave/move or otherwise abandon me. it's the crappiest feeling. it makes me want to "hurry up" and get to the end of therapy so i can have what i want (a life worth living and a heart that loves?) before she has to go or something.
i've been seeing her twice a week for a little over two years for free. i'm afraid she is going to work someplace for more money which means i'd have to pay (another barrier to my treatment). i'd hate to worry about about something that is going to happen. i'm sorry for you, all done, and hope you can work something out and continue with your current therapist. i know how much i love mine and think i can't live without her. i wouldn't want anyone in good therapy to have to go without their beloved therapist.
--life

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, pl » All Done

Posted by Aphrodite on May 26, 2004, at 13:36:15

In reply to 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16

I would probably cry and throw up! The thought of starting over from the beginning would be too daunting for me, but GG is right that it can work and probably be a valuable "life lesson." (I hate that term!)

Anyway, let your therapist help. Accept what he will compromise on. As for your husband, perhaps the difference between what he will charge you and your $25 fee you pay now won't be too great. Then, perhaps you can come up with ways to help ease the difference. You could start setting aside funds all summer. Are there things you could cut back on like lunches out, magazine subscriptions, etc. that wouldn't affect him? And Dinah is absolutely right that you'll take the next year's worth of copays just getting to where you are now with your current therapist.

Take a deep breath. You have options. Hubby has time to absorb it. But this is no fun at all.

Good luck!

 

Another analogy for hubby

Posted by Racer on May 26, 2004, at 14:50:10

In reply to 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16

Here's another, male-oriented analogy of why it might make a difference to you to change therapists:

A car is a vehicle to get you from one place to another, right? So, why do you have to have your own? Why not just have every car parked with the keys in the ignition, and we just take whichever one happens to be convenient when we want to go somewhere? Ask your husband if he would be comfortable driving random cars every day, instead of his own.

(Hey, t'ain't great, but not so bad as on-the-fly analogies go, eh?)

Seriously and for you, though, I'm so sorry. The little voice I hear in your post, telling you there's something wrong with you for thinking that the therapeutic relationship counts, and that any therapist should be just fine for you, that little voice sounds so critical. Can you allow yourself to say, "well, maybe there is something wrong with me for needing to stay with this therapist -- but that's what *this* therapist is going to help me process and resolve?"

And I agree, I, too, would both cry *and* be sick.

Something very similar happened to me a few months ago. All my treatment has been through a single agency, but I lucked out with my first therapist. She and I were starting to work pretty well together, I was starting to get to a place where opening up wasn't so frightening that I shut down entirely, and then, one day, she tells me that we have two sessions left, because she was just promoted out of clinical practice. I was devastated! Not only that, but being the "I have to be strong, stoic, etc" I didn't say anything about it. I expressed all the positive things I thought I was *supposed* to express, rather than saying, "I'm so scared and I need *you*!" That, after all, would be childish: I am an adult, things happen, I must be able to adjust myself because I cannot control everything. It's my work to do, so any therapist should be able to facilitate it. Guess what? Acting on that ended up being devastating! If nothing else, I was acting on something I didn't feel, so the distress of that internal conflict -- what I felt and what I thought I had to express -- added to the distress of having to change therapists without any real preparation. (The first therapist made a bit of an effort to reassure me, but the second just jumped right in to her method of therapy without really getting into anything with me about how I felt about any of this. {{shrug}} If that had been the least of her mistakes, maybe things wouldn't have gone so far downhill.)

So, there's my experience of "being a grown up" about changing therapists against one's will. I do hope it helps you give yourself permission to work something out with your therapist and stay with him.

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » DaisyM

Posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 0:32:17

In reply to Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » All Done, posted by DaisyM on May 26, 2004, at 1:25:25

>>What kind of ice cream do you need? I'll bring it...

Thanks, Daisy. Any will do, just lots of it, I think.

>>Take comfort in the fact that your Therapist wants to work it out with you. That means he wants to keep you as a client. That is a positive thing.

I hope he does. I’m having a hard time convincing myself of this, now. It’s especially hard because I’m not going to see him this weekend and I know I’m playing head games with myself.

>>I think you should let him, btw, regardless of where your bills came from. This is important!

This doesn’t feel “right” to me. I should be able to make it work out on my own and I just struggle with burdening anyone (other than myself, that is).

>>It should be easier than this to find, get and keep the help we need.

I agree. I wish it were easier.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and concern. I really do appreciate it, Daisy.

Laurie

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » gardenergirl

Posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 0:41:28

In reply to Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by gardenergirl on May 26, 2004, at 8:32:27

Thank you so much, gg. I always appreciate your perspective here whether it’s as gg, therapy client, or gg, therapist in training.

I am trying to remember that I have a while until I have to decide either way. When something like this comes up, though, I tend to panic and try to remedy the situation as quickly as possible to minimize the amount of worrying I have to do. Unfortunately, I think I end up worrying a million times harder than I would if I just sat back and assessed the situation for a little while.

It helps to know and remember that there are tons of people who switch therapists and end up having successful outcomes. A new therapist would probably spend quite a few of our first sessions just handing me tissues (or pointing to the box or whatever ;)). It hurts so much to think about that, though, and I can’t imagine that ever not hurting :(.

Thanks for listening and being there for me.

Laurie

 

Re: Hot fudge? Of course! » fallsfall

Posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 0:53:22

In reply to Hot fudge? » All Done, posted by fallsfall on May 26, 2004, at 10:17:54

Falls,

See? That’s exactly why I need you guys! One must never forget the hot fudge and in my current state, I might have gone without it. How sad would that have been?

You and gg both reminded me to take a step back before I make any decisions. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Maybe (???) it’s a good thing he cancelled our next session. I can attempt to take a little break and see how things shake out. It’s kind of funny, but for someone who doesn’t deal well with change, my life has a lot of it. I think I have a lot to do with that myself, but that’s another story for another day.

I also like the idea of talking to my husband about seeing my therapist on a temporary basis. Maybe that, combined with whatever financial accommodations my therapist can make will turn out to work for my husband. He will find it’s not quite the adjustment he’s thought. I hope I’m not setting myself up for major disappointment with this one, though.

Thanks so very much, falls! I’m going to fill the next few days with ice cream, swings, and crayons. You in ;)?

Laurie

P.S. Cream of Wheat on ice cream? Never heard of it. When I was a kid, I used to put Hershey’s cocoa powder on my vanilla ice cream. I wonder how I started that?

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » Dinah

Posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 1:07:46

In reply to Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » All Done, posted by Dinah on May 26, 2004, at 11:13:48

Thanks for remembering, Dinah. My husband *is* a wonderfully sweet and caring man :).

You sound a lot like my therapist. He gives good suggestions for talking to my husband, too. He always asks, “have you tried talking to your husband about this?” Good idea as most of the time I have to answer no. For the moment, though, I think I need to back off a little. Every time I bring the subject up, it gets extremely tense between us very quickly. So, I’m going to sit tight for a little while - probably until I see my therapist again. Interestingly enough, that will be on June 5th – our six year wedding anniversary. So, I might need everyone’s help on that day. I’m guessing I’ll want to run home from therapy and talk to my husband about it again. Don’t let me, okay? I don’t want to risk spoiling a hopefully nice day/evening with him. I can always talk to him about it the next day, right? Sorry, I digress.

I have come up with some things I can live without in order to see my therapist (unfortunately, air and water aren’t factored into our budget, though ;)). I hope I can get over the pride thing about the money. That’s a tough one.

I should also tell you, I did tell my therapist if I end up staying with him, I want to know that he isn’t going to move out of state or something. He said his roots are here and it takes years to build a new practice, so he doesn’t see that happening. I told him I wanted to know that he was going to stay in this area forever and he said, “is that what you want? Forever?” I said, “umm, yeah.” (Again, I rolled my eyes. Poor guy, I’m always rolling my eyes at him, I think.) Anyway, during this discussion, I thought, “if Dinah can ask for forever therapy, so can I.” Sadly, he didn’t promise :(, but I suppose I understand.

Thanks for calming me down and helping me with the right words for my husband. I truly appreciate your wisdom, kindness, and support.

Laurie

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » crushedout

Posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 1:12:35

In reply to Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » All Done, posted by crushedout on May 26, 2004, at 12:14:03

crushed,

I’ve been crying a bit too much the last few days :(. I’m wondering if I’ll run out of tears.

Sorry your therapist has canceled so much. Isn’t there a rule against that or something? There should be ;).

I put a ton of guilt on myself as it is. I don’t know how much “real” guilt I can deal with directly from my husband. But I do know I have to look out for myself sometimes, too. Hopefully, we can come to an agreement on it all.

Thanks for your post. Sorry I haven’t been keeping up much with the posts over here. I hope things are going okay for you. I know you’ve been through some rough times with your T. (((crushed)))

Take care,
Laurie

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please » lifeworthliving

Posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 1:17:57

In reply to Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by lifeworthliving on May 26, 2004, at 13:30:16

life,

I hope I can work something out, too. I love that so many people here understand exactly what I’m feeling. I just wish my husband could, too...

Although I must say, I have no desire to get to the end of therapy. I like having the safe place to go every week.

Thanks for sharing your feelings. It helped me to not feel so alone.

Laurie

 

Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, pl » Aphrodite

Posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 1:22:36

In reply to Re: 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, pl » All Done, posted by Aphrodite on May 26, 2004, at 13:36:15

Aphrodite,

I am going to take your suggestion and start saving immediately. My husband and I do budget some “play” money for ourselves each week. Unfortunately, it isn’t enough to cover my visits, but I will use as much of it as I can. I’ve already told my husband a couple of things I will cut back on as well. You’re right, though, I just don’t want to cut anything that will affect him.

Valuable life lesson. I know. I just feel like I’ve had my share of them over the past couple of years, though. They never seem to stop coming, do they? Ugh.

I really appreciate your support and suggestions. Thank you!

Laurie

 

Re: Another analogy for hubby » Racer

Posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 1:29:36

In reply to Another analogy for hubby, posted by Racer on May 26, 2004, at 14:50:10

Racer,

Thanks for the analogy! I’ve got to try and help my husband understand how I’m feeling (as gently as possible) and I’ve had a bunch of good suggestions here.

I really don’t understand (and I tell my therapist this all the time) why I’m so attached to *him*. I don’t understand how it happened or why it happened. Even with everything I read here, it still baffles me and most of the time I blame myself for “letting” it happen. When I brought it up again this week, he talked a bit more than usual about my relationship with my dad and not getting exactly what I needed when I was growing up. Not necessarily news to me but interesting to hear it from him this time. Sorry...rambling.

I feel the same way about it being *my* therapy so why can’t I just work with any therapist? But, it doesn’t seem to work out so well when I actually try and think it through. So, either I deal with the attachment to my current therapist or struggle with a transfer (or both). I guess no one ever said this was easy.

Take care of yourself, too, (((Racer))). I know you have a lot going on and I hope it will all work out and you will get the care you need. It is very sweet of you to have taken the time to post to me about all of this. Thank you so very much!

Laurie

 

Re: Another analogy for hubby

Posted by pegasus on May 29, 2004, at 22:53:41

In reply to Re: Another analogy for hubby » Racer, posted by All Done on May 28, 2004, at 1:29:36

All Done, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation with your T! That totally stinks! At least you were honest enough to say "crap" when he told you about it. When my T told me he was moving, I just said oh, well, I've been doing a lot better anyway. I'll be ok. But that was a lie.

The thing that you keep saying that really sticks with me is how you are thinking this is *your* therapy, so why do you feel like you need *him* in particular as a therapist? I can answer that! Therapy doesn't work by just you talking about certain things. I mean, if that were true, you could buy a book about what to talk about, and then just talk to yourself, or a friend, or your dog, right? Therapy works through the relationship we build with another person. An effective therapeutic relationship has particular qualities that make it possible to talk about the difficult stuff and get a response that is healing to us. Part of that recipe is the familiarity and comfort that only comes when we've spent a certain amount of time with someone. And when they are the right type of person to hold our particular brand of suffering in a way that is helpful to us.

So, the time spent with a particular therapist means a lot to this process. You can transfer to a new therapist, and you'll take the skills you've been developing with you. But you'll be leaving the familiarity and comfort, and a person whose style works for you. And that's worth a lot! If you leave this T, you'll need time to develop a relationship like the one you have now. And you'll need to find someone that fits you well, like this T does.

Do you think that your husband has noticed any positive changes in you in the time that you've been working with this T? If so, you might try explaining to him that if you switch to a new T, you might be sacrificing some of those gains for a while, until you can find another good T and build a relationship with them. If your husband cares about you, and can see that therapy is helping, maybe he'll not want to see you go through that. Just a thought. If he's blind to the benefits of therapy, then I guess this wouldn't work.

many hugs and wishes for things to work out well.

pegasus

 

Re: Another analogy for hubby » pegasus

Posted by All Done on June 1, 2004, at 15:56:53

In reply to Re: Another analogy for hubby, posted by pegasus on May 29, 2004, at 22:53:41

> All Done, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation with your T! That totally stinks! At least you were honest enough to say "crap" when he told you about it. When my T told me he was moving, I just said oh, well, I've been doing a lot better anyway. I'll be ok. But that was a lie.
>
> The thing that you keep saying that really sticks with me is how you are thinking this is *your* therapy, so why do you feel like you need *him* in particular as a therapist? I can answer that! Therapy doesn't work by just you talking about certain things. I mean, if that were true, you could buy a book about what to talk about, and then just talk to yourself, or a friend, or your dog, right? Therapy works through the relationship we build with another person. An effective therapeutic relationship has particular qualities that make it possible to talk about the difficult stuff and get a response that is healing to us. Part of that recipe is the familiarity and comfort that only comes when we've spent a certain amount of time with someone. And when they are the right type of person to hold our particular brand of suffering in a way that is helpful to us.
>
> So, the time spent with a particular therapist means a lot to this process. You can transfer to a new therapist, and you'll take the skills you've been developing with you. But you'll be leaving the familiarity and comfort, and a person whose style works for you. And that's worth a lot! If you leave this T, you'll need time to develop a relationship like the one you have now. And you'll need to find someone that fits you well, like this T does.
>
> Do you think that your husband has noticed any positive changes in you in the time that you've been working with this T? If so, you might try explaining to him that if you switch to a new T, you might be sacrificing some of those gains for a while, until you can find another good T and build a relationship with them. If your husband cares about you, and can see that therapy is helping, maybe he'll not want to see you go through that. Just a thought. If he's blind to the benefits of therapy, then I guess this wouldn't work.
>
> many hugs and wishes for things to work out well.
>
> pegasus

Wow! Thanks, pegasus. I really appreciate your post. I believe you flipped the switch to turn on the light bulb over my head. I really like what you say about getting the response that is healing to me. I imagine it took my therapist some time to determine what "works" with me and he is probably still learning as my story unfolds. I would hate to have to start that process over again.

I haven't discussed with my husband whether he's noticed any positive changes in me since I started therapy. At the very least, though, he must notice that I don't cry on his shoulder quite as much as before. Well, maybe not for quite as long each time ;).

Thank you so much for taking the time to post to me. Your words really hit home.

I'm still going to try and talk to my dog, though ;).

Take care,
Laurie


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