Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 349718

Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Not well. Huge week ahead.

Posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 17:29:36

This week I have to give 7 hours of presentations at a conference in a nearby city (close enough to drive home at night). I usually do a full day workshop (about 5 hours) every year at this conference, but this year our marketing people signed me up for two other half hour talks on two other days. So that's 7 hours of presenting in 3 days. And on the third day we're hosting a reception in the evening, where I'm expected to schmooze.

I'm an introvert, and I'm really stressed out about this. I know I can do it. I've done it before (well not this much, but close). But it's going to be a hard week for me. No one at work recognizes that. I want to say: "Hey, I'm an introvert, and this stuff is hard for me! Don't I get extra points for that?"

And this isn't even my highest work priority right now. I have this other big project that I'm trying to stay on top of in between.

I don't have a therapist at the moment. I keep thinking about my old therapist who moved away last year, and wishing I could talk to him. I don't have anyone here to really talk about this with. My husband is being supportive, but also very busy, and he's resenting having to do all the dishes etc. last week (and probably this one too).

Plus I have a cold. And my depression is back. I feel maxed out. I'm trying so hard not to SI, but today I relapsed into some old eating disorder stuff that I thought was long behind me.

I just need to tell all this to someone. Sorry if I won't be babbling much this week. I'm just trying to hang on and do what I have to do well, and drag myself through everything else.

pegasus

 

Re: Not well. Huge week ahead.

Posted by DaisyM on May 22, 2004, at 20:14:29

In reply to Not well. Huge week ahead., posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 17:29:36

Peg,

It is so tough when work gets hard like this. Forcing yourself to be "on" so many hours in a row can be very taxing. Tell yourself since you have done this before you don't have to over prepare. Get lots of rest and try to eat right.

Grumpy hubbies are hard to take. Ask each other what happens if nobody does the dishes...the world won't end and it might be less stress.

Can you call your old Therapist and just chat? It might help reduce your stress.

I'll be thinking of you this week. Hang in there. You'll get through it.

 

When it rains, it pours pegasus

Posted by Aphrodite on May 22, 2004, at 20:29:23

In reply to Not well. Huge week ahead., posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 17:29:36

I'm so sorry. A cold, resentful spouse, overload at work -- it's enough to overwhelm anyone. Are there people at work who can help with your other project while you focus on presenting? I was sent to present at conference after conference at work, and I finally told my boss that while I appreciated her confidence in me, it was not my forte and made me very anxious. She really understood and now asks only sparingly and is OK with me turning it down.

Maybe you could excuse yourself from the schmoozing with the legitimate excuse that you have a cold and don't want to spread it?

Has this brought to the surface for you that when things settle, you might want to look for a new therapist? With all that you are going through right now, it could be a good thing even if it's short-term.

Please take care of yourself.

 

Re: Not well. Huge week ahead.

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2004, at 22:57:44

In reply to Not well. Huge week ahead., posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 17:29:36

Eeek. I don't blame you for being stressed out! And I suppose looking for a new compatible therapist would just add to the stress.

What can you do to pamper yourself and ease the stress? Don't worry about the dishes. Think takeout. And bubblebaths. And whatever else keeps you grounded.

 

Re: Not well. Huge week ahead.

Posted by gardenergirl on May 23, 2004, at 13:39:09

In reply to Re: Not well. Huge week ahead., posted by Dinah on May 22, 2004, at 22:57:44

Peg,
That much public contact and spotlight would stress me out, too. It's overstimulating. hopefully you can find a quiet place and time at the conference, even if only for 15 or 20 minutes to meditate or just breathe. There are probably other people there who are uncomfortable with scmoozing. Can you seek them out and just stand quietly together a bit? Having to "work" a room is enough to send me hiding with a migraine. it is anxiety provoking. So set your expectations low, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Schmoozing is hard to quantify, so do what you can, and take it easy. Especially because you are sick. (Echinacea can help, too.)

And I know about husband's being grumpy about picking up extra housework. I'm working on my dissertation pretty heavily right now. If I'm not actually working on it, my brain is just fried, I can hardly put two words together to respond to anyone, and thus I'm just vegging out.

One thought which occurred to me, besides take out...paper plates! Just throw them away. No shame, no hassle. It makes perfect sense. And we have yoyo night at least once per week, if not twice. It stands for "you're on your own" about dinner. As long as he knows in advance or at least as long as there are leftovers in the freezer, then it works out fine.

Take extra care of yourself. There are a lot of demands pressing on you now, so you need extra time to recharge.

((((pegasus))))

gg

 

Thanks everyone!

Posted by pegasus on May 23, 2004, at 14:13:01

In reply to When it rains, it pours pegasus, posted by Aphrodite on May 22, 2004, at 20:29:23

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement, and great ideas. I think I will have that talk with my hubby about what happens if no one does the dishes until next weekend. And I won't be around for dinner much anyway, so *I* won't be making many dishes this week.

It helps to know that you guys understand that this is hard, even if no one else around here does. I'm pretty ready for my Monday workshop, so I'm going to focus on the short ones today, and then sleep a lot tonight if I can.

And I like the ideas about minimizing the schmoozing stress. To tell the truth, that's the part that is most bothersome to me. I *hate* schmoozing, and I'm terrible at it. Unfortunately, I'm also the main person from my company that people at this conference want to schmooze. But maybe I can position myself somewhere safe-feeling and wait for them come to me.

Just feels like a marathon coming up, and it helps to know my babble friends at least know about my stress and fears. I'll get through it, then I'll let y'all know how it went.

(((Daisy, Aphrodite, GG, Dinah)))

pegasus

 

Re: Not well. Huge week ahead.

Posted by shadows721 on May 23, 2004, at 14:36:12

In reply to Not well. Huge week ahead., posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 17:29:36

I got fever blisters and sick throughout nursing school. We had to do presentations all the time. I have to tell you I never got comfortable with them. (I bet you got the cold, because of the stress.)

I will tell you what I was told about speeches and presentations. People tend to listen to the 1st and last thing you say. All that stuff in between they don't focus as much. Attention span is short due to television. People in general are way more focused on themselves than what you are saying. They are thinking about their own lives and issue while you are chatting away.

I found out this was true, because I was doing this while the others were giving presentations. Personally, I was always thinking about going home eating chocolate and taking a nap.

I hope all goes well for you and do drink plenty of fluids and get your rest.


 

a book recommendation

Posted by DaisyM on May 23, 2004, at 16:05:36

In reply to Re: Not well. Huge week ahead., posted by shadows721 on May 23, 2004, at 14:36:12

Another thought:

Try to get your hands on the book: "How to work a room" It is an easy read and has good tips. Also, learn one cute "kid" joke to tell. People laugh and it's cleanish.

Like: Why did the Jolly Green Giant get kicked out of the garden? He took a pea...

:) smile. You'll do great!

Daisy

I'd wear my red shoes'cause they give me power.

 

Re: Not well. Huge week ahead.

Posted by babbgal on May 24, 2004, at 12:06:29

In reply to a book recommendation, posted by DaisyM on May 23, 2004, at 16:05:36

pegasus, good luck this week. I'm new to this board, and also have SI and eating issues, which especially flare up when I'm feeling overwhelmed, so your post touched me.

Even I liked the paper plate suggestion. :) It's funny how the "little things" can contribute so much to the stress. I guess all I can say is take things one step at a time, and have faith that you can take yourself through this. I like your thought of trying to position yourself somewhere safe at the schmooze-fest and letting people come to you...if you feel safe and more powerful that way, it will help.

In any case, good luck and hugs. We'll be thinking about you.

 

Horrible week over - I'm alive

Posted by pegasus on May 28, 2004, at 11:42:56

In reply to Not well. Huge week ahead., posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 17:29:36

Thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement for my really tough week. It's all over, and I'm taking Friday off to help recover.

It wasn't pretty, and I'm exhausted, but I made it. My talks went well, except for at one point I gave the wrong talk! I had so many to give, and I just got mixed up about the timing and topics. And no one said anything until the end! Doh! I felt really stupid and apologized profusely, and then gave the missed talk later (to a packed room, so that was good).

At the schmooze fest I positioned myself in a safe-feeling corner, and just focused on being friendly. At one point my CEO was standing next to me and a bunch of people came up and told me how much they appreciated my workshop on Monday, and how clear my explanations were, and that they really apprecated it all. So that was excellent. My CEO tends to not recognize me much. (Today he sent an email to everyone about what a great job we'd done at this conference, and he mentioned my *boss* but not me!)

Thanks again everyone for your helpful words. It would have been a lot harder without you.

pegasus

 

Glad you survived it! Good job, peg! (nm) pegasus

Posted by gardenergirl on May 28, 2004, at 11:55:39

In reply to Horrible week over - I'm alive, posted by pegasus on May 28, 2004, at 11:42:56

 

Re: Congratulations! (nm) pegasus

Posted by Dinah on May 28, 2004, at 13:59:33

In reply to Horrible week over - I'm alive, posted by pegasus on May 28, 2004, at 11:42:56

 

Re: Horrible week over - I'm alive pegasus

Posted by DaisyM on May 28, 2004, at 15:27:17

In reply to Horrible week over - I'm alive, posted by pegasus on May 28, 2004, at 11:42:56

I'm glad things went well. I'm sure you were great! It stinks that you weren't recognized more formally but it I'm sure your boss knows how hard you worked.

As far as giving the wrong talk, once I mixed up class rooms at the hospital where I was teaching childbirth education. I always started classes by saying, "I take burning questions up front and then we will go over stuff in a more organized fashion." Someone raised their hand and asked about withdrawal. Now, I'm thinkin' "OH MY GOD, the baby!" right? Turns out it was the narcanon meeting. Sheesh!


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