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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on May 10, 2004, at 20:30:11
I am a very lazy person. I have been doing things that put me in a bad position because I like to take the short and fun way around things (for me thats eating and sleeping...a lot). I do half jobs on school projects so I can watch TV or sleep. I just completed my online English course and atleast 3 assignments are not completed all the way because I was too lazy to read the books. Now I'm probably going to get a C or D on the course which will not help my GPA. Giving in to this laziness and pleasure feels good at first, but the long term effects are not good for me.
I can't stand the idea of diligently working though. I don't even know how to plan or work towards a goal. Its so pathetic I know. Please help me get off the couch. Please offer your advice on how I could go about doing this. I would love to have your support right now.Angela
Posted by deirdrehbrt on May 10, 2004, at 20:58:16
In reply to I need Help!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Angela2 on May 10, 2004, at 20:30:11
Angela,
I'm sorry that there isn't an easy way to change what you are experiencing. It is a subject that you might want to talk to your therapist or counselor about.
What needs to happen though is to change what is important to you. It seems that you are putting your fun before your education and your other needs. As many people have told me, you need to prioritize. You have to make what's really important important.
Fun is necessary, fun can help divert your attention for a time when things are going bad. Fun can refresh you when you've worked hard. Fun can't improve your GPA. Try to remind yourself that school-work is going to get you to where you want to go.... fun won't. Have fun, but not at the expense of your future.
Dee.
Posted by finelinebob on May 10, 2004, at 21:33:44
In reply to I need Help!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Angela2 on May 10, 2004, at 20:30:11
Just a thought -- are you sure you're lazy?
I always thought I was lazy. My test scores say I'm a pretty bright guy. My college grades in any course that challenged me beg to differ. I always blamed myself for not having learned the proper study skills, not having the desire, maybe not even having the mental horsepower despite what my test scores say.
It never occurred to me until much later that I might have ADD. Over time, talking to more and more people here, I've found that lots of people who have depression and/or anxiety also have cognitive issues like ADD.
Try to detach any self-judgments for a few minutes and see if you can figure out why you're not doing your work. Is it purely motivation? Or do you have trouble focusing or concentrating? Are you easily distracted?
just tossing out some thoughts from another "lazy" learner...
flbps. "lazy" is a term students learn to apply to themselves from others, most often when they attribute the source of failures to something perceived as internal and uncontrollable. That does not mean that the cause really is internal and/or uncontrollable -- but it's the perception and attribution of cause that counts. It leads to a condition called learned helplessness. You learn to give up easily or to not even try, and you have reasons like your "laziness" ready at hand to explain why (whether your behavior was lazy or not).
If you do have ADD, then this is one cause of failure that is internal but is controllable. If you have motivational issues, again internal but controllable. If you start looking at what sorts of statements you make about why you fail to do what you need to succeed, try to see where they fall along the lines of internal/external/unknown to you, controllable/uncontrollable by the source, and global/specific for any particular problem. Then remember that (1) perception does not equal reality, and (2) there are always factors we can and cannot control. If your reasons for failure keep coming up other than internal+controllable, then you need to identify some factors or strategies that are internal+controllable to counter the others.
Posted by Angela2 on May 11, 2004, at 19:44:01
In reply to Re: I need Help!!!!!!!!!!, posted by finelinebob on May 10, 2004, at 21:33:44
Hi Finelinebob,
I’ve thought that I had ADD before, and have brought it up with my parents because my brother has it. But they say I don’t. I haven’t exactly talked to my T about it, but I would like to. I have an appointment with her tomorrow. Maybe that’s a good time to bring it up.
Why don’t I do my work? What do I think about? Well, for my english class, everytime I would start to read, my mind would begin to ask “what for?” And it became obvious that I didn’t care about the material. I would actually also feel depressed at times. I would feel lonely. (my t has said I’m dystymic). But it was like my mind was sabatoging the work for me. I just wouldn’t want to do the work. The only way I’d feel better was if I’d stop and watch TV. I have had trouble paying attention and concentrating for long periods of time too. So I would read a little bit each day, but that didn’t work out for me because I never finished my book and my assignments were not completed with the thoughtful detail that my teacher wanted. I think getting good grades isn’t enough to push me on because I don’t really like college and I wish I was doing something else with my life. Or I wish I was a famous actress leading an exciting life of runways and movie premiers (my personal fantasy, lol). So not only do I dislike my work, but I dislike why I’m doing it and what I’m doing it for.
With psychology homework it hasn’t been so bad because its my major. I find the work easy at times, and interesting. I don’t mind studying for it, and my grades have been pretty good for social psych. Research methods hasn’t been so good, but that’s only because the work is hard and difficult to understand. And I didn’t mind studying for it.
I’ve looked up ‘study habits’ in a search engine and have come up with some good stuff. One link was about motivation and I learned that if you are intrinsically motivated you will put in more effort and learn more deeply. Intrinsic motivation also includes your values and interests. I think I’m going to keep these study links near. There are some very good study strategies and suggestions in them. I think they will be very helpful to me for the fall.
I was really upset about this yesterday. Thank you for putting in the time, thought, and effort to respond to my post. I really appreciated it. Have a good night!
Angela
Posted by Angela2 on May 11, 2004, at 19:52:06
In reply to Re: I need Help!!!!!!!!!!, posted by deirdrehbrt on May 10, 2004, at 20:58:16
Hi Dee,
I know that fun is not a part of raising my grades. Its good to have someone remind me of that though. Seriously, thanks for your support. I found some good websites online that give study habit suggestions and they seem really helpful. I think I'm going to keep them for the fall.
Angela
Posted by finelinebob on May 11, 2004, at 22:18:02
In reply to Re: I need Help!!!!!!!!!! » finelinebob, posted by Angela2 on May 11, 2004, at 19:44:01
Angela,
I have to admit I'm a bit of a ringer on this ... much of the work I did towards my doctorate in educational psychology (which I didn't finish) was on motivation to learn ;^)
Sounds like there are a number of factors going on for you. Looking at your "motivations" is probably the easiest to address. Yes, "intrinsic" motivation can work better than external sources of rewards. Sounds like grades don't make as big an impact as not being interested in your work. But when you ARE interested, you learn well and therefore get better grades. If you aren't interested in a topic, though, there isn't much point trying to manufacture an interest in it ... unless you can find links to stuff you love, unless you can make it relevant.
Interest isn't the only sort of intrinsic motivation. Challenge is another. When something is tough to do, we either "rise to the challenge", get totally intimidated, or bail. If you find something interesting, then you probably like the challenge, too. If it's too hard, that's where the intimidation comes in. Time to break up the task into smaller, more manageable parts. If you bail because you don't care, then here is where the external rewards MIGHT help. If grades don't do it, you've gotta figure out what sort of reward YOU value and tie it to success in doing that task. So, if you're not feeling challenged, you can create your own challenges.
Now, just because you may have been successful in the past doesn't mean you aren't ADD or don't have some other cognitive issue with learning. Look at Einstein. Couldn't remember his address -- it wasn't just eccentricity. Your reading issues sound a lot like mine. I'm taking a real estate course right now. The text is mostly terminology and legal stuff. aCk! I read until I get tired ... about five paragraphs. I check Babble. I play solitaire. I read another four paragraphs. I have to back up six because I forgot what they said. I read two and doze off. Of course, it took me taking my klonopin and about an hour of avoidance behaviors before I could even sit down to read in the first place.
Sound familiar?
Someone watching me might see all the stalling and lack of focus and call me lazy. Meantime, my brain is working overtime ... but most of the time, I'm "grinding the clutch". Geez, if you could hear all those "gears" grinding, youch! For me, it really is a lot more work to do this sort of reading than, say, the comics. Or a scifi novel.
I've never gotten tested for any learning disabilities ... I was always able to skirt around them well enough. But you may still have the opportunity. Does your school have a learning skills center? Is your T affiliated with your university? She might know. Any school that gets federal funding has to provide support services for people with learning disabilities, and that should also include some sort of testing facility for them.
BTW ... about that term -- learning disability. It doesn't mean "across-the-board can't-learn-a-thing". It means "in almost every category, a normal or better learner ... but in one or two categories, there may be a problem". The better learners do in the other categories, the better they can be at compensating for the one or two things that give them fits. That's why you can succeed at school easily until you reach a level that starts to push you beyond your ability to compensate ... and by that time, you've done so well for so long the idea that you may have something like ADD or dyslexia seems ridiculous. Must be that you just got lazy or something.... ;^)
Posted by ghost on May 13, 2004, at 23:38:25
In reply to Re: I need Help!!!!!!!!!! » Angela2, posted by finelinebob on May 11, 2004, at 22:18:02
i finished my undergrad a year ago. i remember days when i couldn't get out of my jammies, i was so lazy. couldn't stop playing online, i was so lazy. but in the end i was able to see the big picture of graduation and walking away with a degree (or two) and becoming a damned intelligent chemist, and those goals motivated me to jump into work i wouldn't normally be interested in or would rather do more fun things. not to say there weren't times when it killed me to get the work done- like for an unrelated class (sociology for a chem major, for example), where i did the bare minimum and attended the bare minimum sessions, but i went, all for that big picture.
do you see the big picture? and if you do see it,, do you see the path to get there? are you distracted on the way? I wonder about ADD myself. adult ADD is not uncommon these days, and you might want to think about it. mayb eyou just have a mild form, even. but enough that it's making it hard for you to concentrate.
i hope you get some help for it... try to isolate the problem.
one last thing: when i was in grad school i was put on abilify, which made it SO hard fo rme to concentrate. i would sit on the couch or in bed wiht my laptop and do nothing for hours on end when i had so much i had to do. i halfassed assignments that had to be handed in, and i barely did anything of less importance. at the time i blamed the drugs. but the pdoc in the hospital said that while that can happen, he personally blamed grad school since i so obviously didn't want to be there any more, but took so long to finally admit it. it was my body's reaction to my mind's subconscious decision making.
just something to ponder.
good luck.
ps: i took ambien a little awhile ago. i think it's messing with my typing. sorry.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 14, 2004, at 8:04:15
In reply to Re: I need Help!!!!!!!!!!, posted by ghost on May 13, 2004, at 23:38:25
> i finished my undergrad a year ago. i remember days when i couldn't get out of my jammies, i was so lazy...
Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect this thread to Psycho-Social-Babble. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/346725.html
Thanks,
Bob
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