Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 324384

Shown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I think I'm relapsing, hard

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 18:06:33

I'm not sleeping well, eating well. I can't concentrate at work, I feel "put upon" all the time. I've been on the verge of tears for no reason all weekend. I caught my hands shaking this afternoon. My husband says I am relapsing. Was diagnosed with GAD 8 months ago. Just recently went down to twice a month with T instead of once a week. I was doing so well!! He said we need to be vigilant though about signs of relapse.

I am not on meds. I feel like such a failure, both to myself and my therapist. I was making steady progress forward for 8 months and now this. Is this supposed to happen?

I see my T Thursday and feel almost ashamed that this is happening, like he will become frustrated with me that all of his hard work is not paying off. Maybe he'll terminate me? I feel simply awful...

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Dinah on March 14, 2004, at 18:42:06

In reply to I think I'm relapsing, hard, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 18:06:33

Go easy on yourself, Miss Honeychurch. It's not unusual for recovery to be not so much a steady road forward as a progress of steps forward and steps back. If you haven't had any backward steps yet, then you're just now experiencing what's perfectly normal. Your therapist won't be upset, other than being sorry to hear you aren't doing well.

Going down from once a week to twice a month could be a stressor in itself. If you're having any other stressors as well, that could contribute to a relapse.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not getting better, because I still have the problems that brought me to therapy. But then I think, yes I still have meltdowns. But they happen less frequently now than they did, and they are shorter in duration.

Could that be true for you too? That this isn't a relapse in that you'll be back where you once were. It's just a recurrance. And over time the recurrances will be fewer and briefer and require greater stressors to trigger.

It feels rotten to have anxiety to begin with. Please don't feel rotten about feeling rotten.

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Dinah

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 20:07:23

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch, posted by Dinah on March 14, 2004, at 18:42:06

You're right, Dinah. I know I'm not back at square one, far from it. Just a recurrence. And there have been some outside stressors at work, etc.

I just hate feeling this way I hate knowing I am thinking irrationally and over the top, but unable to control it.

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Dinah on March 14, 2004, at 21:07:02

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Dinah, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 20:07:23

I understand perfectly, believe me. It's so discouraging when you think you've put it behind you only to find that it can catch up with you now and again.

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch

Posted by fallsfall on March 14, 2004, at 22:17:51

In reply to I think I'm relapsing, hard, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 18:06:33

Miss Honeychurch,

Cutting back on sessions has always been incredibly stressful for me. It always seemed to take me months to get used to a change (maybe it won't be so bad for you - because you are *ready* for this, and maybe your abandonment issues aren't as bad as mine).

I guess the best advice I could give you is to accept that it will be hard - so that you don't end up adding to the stress by being stressed that it is hard. Does that make any sense?

Bedtime for me. I'll try to clarify tomorrow.

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Pfinstegg on March 14, 2004, at 23:21:05

In reply to I think I'm relapsing, hard, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 18:06:33

From having followed your posts over the past half-year or so (I think), you have made just wonderful gains, and have so much to feel good (and proud) about. But maybe you haven't had enough time to truly internalize your T., so that you can keep on feeling just as well with less frequent sessions. Is it an option to return to your regular number of sessions for a while? I think getting to the point where you really "take him with you" in your daily life, apart from him, can take the longest of all the things we hope and try to accomplish in therapy. In what I[m doing with my T, I think that is going to be the very last thing- probably a few years away- for me.

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Fallen4myT on March 14, 2004, at 23:48:38

In reply to I think I'm relapsing, hard, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 18:06:33

Hi I don't know you as well as everyone else as I am newish but have read many of your posts. Maybe your T could pop in 1 extra session a moth so instead of 2 you will have 3 not 4 like you had once...kind of a middle ground maybe?? And its normal to take a step back now and then and that IS all it is 1 step back not that many or all the way back

hugs

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard

Posted by toomuchpain on March 15, 2004, at 0:36:10

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch, posted by Fallen4myT on March 14, 2004, at 23:48:38

well i relased 4x in therpy with panic disorder and sucidal impules/depression ... my t never got mad or frutrated with me he always stood right there beside me ... it is very normal to relapse at lease once or twice ... good luck!!!

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Pfinstegg

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 15, 2004, at 8:23:11

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch, posted by Pfinstegg on March 14, 2004, at 23:21:05

He did say that we would go back to weekly sessions if I were showing any signs of relapse. I'll see what he has to say on Thursday. I'm feeling better today, mostly due to everyone's posts and support! Thank you all!

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Fallen4myT

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 15, 2004, at 8:24:38

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch, posted by Fallen4myT on March 14, 2004, at 23:48:38

I was sort of thinking the same thing, Fallen. Maybe 3 times a month?

 

Thanks for the support everyone! (nm)

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 15, 2004, at 8:25:38

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard, posted by toomuchpain on March 15, 2004, at 0:36:10

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Fallen4myT on March 15, 2004, at 10:22:52

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Fallen4myT, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 15, 2004, at 8:24:38

Exactly, IF I smoked cigs I would not go from 4 a day to 2 I would go to 3 right? :) So I think therapy is close to smoking in that way..for me its buying things :P and that 3 times a month IS still 1 less time but not so drastic. Let us know what you do please and many prayers on this.

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch

Posted by All Done on March 15, 2004, at 10:41:25

In reply to I think I'm relapsing, hard, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 18:06:33

Miss Honey,

I'm so sorry to hear your having a rough time, but please know that you are not a failure. You've done a lot of good work with Bean over the last eight months and there's nothing that will ever take that from you. Not even a relapse. In fact, because of the work you've done, you probably have more tools to help you work through the relapse. So, hopefully, it won't be as difficult or last as long.

Now, as for Bean possibly terminating you... In lieu of the fact that Karen is on vacation, I feel I must tell you that Bean would *never* consider terminating you because of a relapse. You and I both know that the only reason he would terminate you is if Karen wanted your time slot ;). So, don't worry. I agree with everyone else. Maybe instead of terminating, he will increase your number of sessions. I bet it will make him happy to see you're lovely, ahem, face an extra time or two each month anyway :).

Take care of yourself,
All Done

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 15, 2004, at 11:04:10

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch, posted by All Done on March 15, 2004, at 10:41:25

Thanks for filling in for Karen, All Done. BUt she better know I would kick her a%% if she ever took my slot with Bean!

 

LOL! That a girl! (nm) Miss Honeychurch

Posted by All Done on March 15, 2004, at 11:07:18

In reply to Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 15, 2004, at 11:04:10

 

Re: I think I'm relapsing, hard Miss Honeychurch

Posted by noa on March 17, 2004, at 19:20:32

In reply to I think I'm relapsing, hard, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 14, 2004, at 18:06:33

A huge thing in my recovery has been learning not to catastrophize every low point. I used to feel like any kind of relapse meant going way back into the deep dark hole of depression and never being able to come out again. But I learned over time that it is possible to have low moods, bad days, even bad weeks, and still come back from them. Hang in there and let it pass.


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