Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 319365

Shown: posts 79 to 103 of 116. Go back in thread:

 

Re: thanks for the heads up, gg/Emmaley

Posted by Apperceptor on March 6, 2004, at 22:33:54

In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg/Emmaley emmaley, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 22:29:18

Fallen-

If you feel you've not been able to work through it, I think you've at least demonstrated, from the little I've seen, that you do have a wealth of personal resources.

You know, I would be surprised if there isn't some sort of article, task force, or something that addresses the sort of feelings you have for your therapist in a supportive yet realistic way. I'd be happy to pass anything along if I see it. Have you looked at the APA website?

I should also mention that my earlier references to ethical guidelines are based only on my knowledge of those for clinical and counseling doctoral psychologists. I would imagine they are very similar for other therapy professionals, but I cannot say for sure.

 

Re: thanks for the heads up, gg/Emmaley/Appercepto Apperceptor

Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 22:42:39

In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg/Emmaley, posted by Apperceptor on March 6, 2004, at 22:33:54

Thanks Apperceptor, :) thats nice of you but I like how I feel for my T and he is all for it. Tis a long story :) not worth posting. I was more referring to the home front and just my life in general. Like today, my husband is being a jerk and hasn't spoken to me all day and night. I only have him here as a human contact so that and health issues and stuff makes it a really hard day and thats crytic I know but I never post much on me in here.

 

Re: please be civil Dr. Bob

Posted by tinydancer on March 7, 2004, at 8:21:25

In reply to Re: please be civil tinydancer Fallen4myT obSession, posted by Dr. Bob on March 6, 2004, at 1:40:41

I'm sorry if I violated your policies Dr. Bob. I really tried to be civil and not speak for anyone but myself and put emphasis on my own feelings. But I want to I apologize if anyone felt accused or put down.
> >

> Thanks for everyone's efforts to be civil. Practice makes perfect? Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
>
> If you have any questions or comments about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
>
> or redirect a follow-up to Psycho-Babble Administration.
>
> Posting something about your own issues and their possible role in your reaction might be an interesting exercise -- and might help others respond to you supportively.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob

 

Re: thanks for the heads up, gg emmaley

Posted by obSession on March 7, 2004, at 11:40:47

In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg, posted by emmaley on March 6, 2004, at 1:23:44

Thanks for your post Emm , you certainly expressed yourself really well without an undertone which I did ...and couldnt help!

what you said was brilliant and clearly expressed to me a sense of true professionalism , ethics and care.....I see that you have genuine empathy for human suffering....what I want to ask you is ....as someone working in the field , how are you able to deal with other working professionals whose perspectives are not different to yours but rather contradict yours and there views of "helping" is contradictory to the profession?

thanks :)
good to know there are still those out there like you....i agree with you totally that the client needs total freedom to express anything.
and if those thoughts are "I am finding myself wanting a picture of u" so be it because it is the clients frame of referance and should be respected..regardless..

thanks :)

 

Re: thanks for the heads up, gg

Posted by Apperceptor on March 7, 2004, at 14:21:47

In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg emmaley, posted by obSession on March 7, 2004, at 11:40:47

My view of helping is not contradictory to the profession. For one thing, there are many approaches to therapy. Rational-emotive therapy, for example, is considerably more confrontational than I've been, yet it is widely accepted. Secondly, psychology is not all about therapy. Many psychologists do little to no therapy, with their emphasis on research, program planning and evalutation, and intellectual/personality/neuropsychological assessment. I believe less than 15% of graduates of my program go on to do therapy as their primary trade.

You're inferring much more than I feel I said. It is not easy to get into a clinical program, as I'm sure Gardner Girl can attest to. I recently assisted the admissions committee with their decisions, and part of the process is screening for individuals who may have less than ideal motives for entering a psychology program.

 

Re: thanks for the heads up, gg obSession

Posted by emmaley on March 7, 2004, at 17:40:38

In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg emmaley, posted by obSession on March 7, 2004, at 11:40:47

Thanks for the kind words, obSession; I appreciate it.

You know, the question that you asked was a really good and tough one. It really depends on the role I play and the duties that come with the roles. In general, I try to fulfill my duties, and I try to stay open and respectful while doing so. Usually things work themselves out, one way or the other.

I hope my answer is addressing what you were asking. Sorry if it seems insufficient. :(

Loving thoughts,

 

Re: double double quotes emmaley

Posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2004, at 19:38:27

In reply to Thank you, posted by emmaley on March 6, 2004, at 3:18:37

> Dinah's suggestion of "In Session" was tremendous.

I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon

The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html

Thanks!

Bob

 

Re: thanks (nm) Fallen4myT

Posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2004, at 19:57:11

In reply to Re: please be civil/ SORRY CORRECTED, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 19:10:33

 

Re: thanks (nm) tinydancer

Posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2004, at 19:57:31

In reply to Re: please be civil Dr. Bob, posted by tinydancer on March 7, 2004, at 8:21:25

 

Re: please be civil confetti

Posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2004, at 20:02:12

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? Apperceptor, posted by confetti on March 6, 2004, at 16:28:05

> I don't believe your post was the "inappropriate" part of this thread.

I'm afraid the above could lead others to feel their posts were inappropriate.

If you have any questions or comments about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

or redirect a follow-up to Psycho-Babble Administration.

Posting something about your own issues and their possible role in your reaction might be an interesting exercise -- and might help others respond to you supportively.

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: arrows

Posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2004, at 20:05:02

In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg Fallen4myT, posted by Apperceptor on March 6, 2004, at 18:34:17

> "The arrow shot by another's bow is only barbed by our own thoughts."

How about no arrows here, even if unbarbed? :-)

Bob

 

Re: arrows Dr. Bob

Posted by Apperceptor on March 7, 2004, at 21:19:17

In reply to Re: arrows, posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2004, at 20:05:02

I'm sorry, yes, I agree.

The main reason I shared that statement is because it's been of great help in my own experience...in everyday life, where we don't have a Dr. Bob to moderate our responses.

It's from Sunday School, by the way...I guess that wasn't all nonsense :-)

 

Re: arrows

Posted by Dr. Bob on March 8, 2004, at 18:29:21

In reply to Re: arrows Dr. Bob, posted by Apperceptor on March 7, 2004, at 21:19:17

> > "The arrow shot by another's bow is only barbed by our own thoughts."
>
> The main reason I shared that statement is because it's been of great help in my own experience...in everyday life

I can see that, but it may be less effective coming from the archer. :-)

Bob

 

Re: thanks for the heads up, gg

Posted by obSession on March 10, 2004, at 18:11:26

In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg obSession, posted by emmaley on March 7, 2004, at 17:40:38

thanks for the message emm :)
yes it does answer your question...thanks :)


 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T?

Posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 11:14:11

In reply to Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by tinydancer on March 2, 2004, at 12:30:37

Wowwwww... I am so jealous of those of you who have pics -- and especially Pegasus (your video sounds so sweet!!!). I have searched and searched for a picture of mine, with no luck :( His bio is on the school's web site (he is at my school's student health center), but they don't have any pics, and he doesn't advertise. I would definitely not be comfortable about asking him for a pic, though I want one so badly.

I do have a small collection of things he wrote on, including some appointment slips where he wrote down the date and time of my appointment, and his name (I have one that says "Dr. [lastname]," one that just says "[lastname]," and one that just says "[firstname]," in chronological order). When I went for the initial consultation (before I knew that I would be continuing with him specifically), he was not yet licensed, and we both had to sign a statement about him working under the supervision of a licensed psychologist. So, I have his signature (which is soooo messy that one would never be able to figure out his name if it wasn't also typed). Also, at that time, he did not have his own business cards. He had cards from the health center (with their phone number, URL, etc.) with a blank spot where he had to write in his own name. I have noticed that he now has his own business cards with his name printed on them, so I guess mine is a "limited edition" :).

P.S. I have actually read every post in this entire thread, but I guess the issue has pretty much been beaten to death; I don't even know if anyone is still reading it at all... Oddly enough, I found Apperceptor's post somewhat helpful (though of course a bit offensive). I think it was sort of like a reality check for me. For some reason, in a way I am comforted/relieved by this kind of statement of brutal honesty, even if it may sting.

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T? lonelygirl

Posted by Fallen4myT on March 20, 2004, at 21:18:46

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 11:14:11

Lol I bet if you try hard enough you can find a picture, Try newpapers too OLD ones....and also try more than Google..even the school site...old yearbooks... Its nice to have one and fun.,.,

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T? Fallen4myT

Posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 21:38:41

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? lonelygirl, posted by Fallen4myT on March 20, 2004, at 21:18:46

I'm not sure about that... I have tried the school's web site and they don't have photos of the psychologists... What kind of old newspapers? I don't think he has ever advertised, because he just got his Ph.D. in 2003 and has been working at the student health center all along (they bring in enough people that he would not have to advertise himself). And what do you mean, old yearbooks? I think he went to high school in a different state and I don't know hoe I could get ahold of a yearbook (even if I could figure out where he went to school) without, well, stalking him... Have any suggestions? I would love to have a picture of him.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention before: I have 2 messages from him on my answering machine.

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T? lonelygirl

Posted by Fallen4myT on March 20, 2004, at 21:57:06

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? Fallen4myT, posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 21:38:41

Marriages and births wow many things are public record..and you can try to get the info and see if any pics...he may not have had ads BUT he may have been in the newspaper for graduating and or working on that building ...sooo many things :) I do not know his age but if he has grown kids they may be in the paper for some reason and sometimes the parents get a mention and pics with the kids....you need to look in the old news archives...look with and without the DOCTOR deal....I could write a lot on this but you can find a pic just have to work at it. I have even had my pic and name in the paper so he has to have been also. Maybe donations he has made to charity...You can go down or call the paper where he lives or grew up and ask to do a search..sometimes it can be done on the web...You may want to casually ask him someday if he grew up in the area..Heck I even know where my T;s parents are and HE told me :)

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T? Fallen4myT

Posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 22:10:15

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? lonelygirl, posted by Fallen4myT on March 20, 2004, at 21:57:06

Thanks for the suggestions... Where do you go to get marriage records? He may have been married in a different state. He is in his late 20s and I am pretty sure he doesn't have any children. I doubt he has made any big donations to charity, because he might even still be in debt from school (I found out how much the school pays for its post-doctoral residents, which he was last year, and it's $26,000). He got his Ph.D. in 2003, and I found his NAME in a few places for it, but no pic. I also found his name for getting his license, but no pic :(

I think I know where he grew up (in a different state), and I have even found what may be an old address of his in that area (but it's hard to say, because as I've found from googling, there are other people with his same name -- and I have searched every possible permutation of his name, too).

I don't want to do anything that would cross over into stalking... I do want a picture of him, but not badly enough to do something that he could find out about. I don't want to freak him out or anything.

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T? lonelygirl

Posted by Fallen4myT on March 20, 2004, at 22:19:09

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? Fallen4myT, posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 22:10:15

Youre welcome.,,,no we dont want him to know or freak but you can slyly ask him if he lives around the school...you know where he got his degree...so you want to get to those newspapers and see IF he was married...trust me you can do this and can do it no name given and most likely in person. ONCE I didnt like this girl and wanted to know if she owned the place she lived at so i went to the county building and researched the house....taxes are public record too as is real estate

> Thanks for the suggestions... Where do you go to get marriage records? He may have been married in a different state. He is in his late 20s and I am pretty sure he doesn't have any children. I doubt he has made any big donations to charity, because he might even still be in debt from school (I found out how much the school pays for its post-doctoral residents, which he was last year, and it's $26,000). He got his Ph.D. in 2003, and I found his NAME in a few places for it, but no pic. I also found his name for getting his license, but no pic :(
>
> I think I know where he grew up (in a different state), and I have even found what may be an old address of his in that area (but it's hard to say, because as I've found from googling, there are other people with his same name -- and I have searched every possible permutation of his name, too).
>
> I don't want to do anything that would cross over into stalking... I do want a picture of him, but not badly enough to do something that he could find out about. I don't want to freak him out or anything.

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T? Fallen4myT

Posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 23:35:21

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? lonelygirl, posted by Fallen4myT on March 20, 2004, at 22:19:09

Hehe, I already know where he lives, and I know that he is married (he has mentioned his wife a couple of times, and he has a picture of her in his office).

I guess I will try some more using your suggestions... I'll let you know if I have any luck :)

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T? lonelygirl

Posted by fallsfall on March 20, 2004, at 23:40:42

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? Fallen4myT, posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 22:10:15

Or you could tell him that you would like a picture of him so that you can feel more of a connection when you can't see him.

I did some googling in the past, and connected it with some information that I had legal access to. I'm not proud of what I did - but I desperately wanted more of a connection with her. She got mad. And while I only used information that was easily accessible to me, I do feel badly because I really did go out of my way to find some things out. I never invaded her personal life, and she probably shouldn't have been mad. But she was. And it made me spend some time thinking about what a therapist's privacy must be for them. I am a needy patient - and that's OK because that is a significant part of my illness. So, I do ask a lot from my therapist. I think that it is important that when they go home, that they feel like they can stop working and be home with their own life. If I were in her position, I certainly couldn't handle my level of neediness 24 hours a day 7 days a week. In order for her to be able to continue to help me, she has to take care of herself.

So, *CAN* you find out all sorts of information? Sure, it is possible. But is that really fair to them? What I did wasn't fair to her (even though I did nothing *wrong*). It still wasn't fair to her, because it made her feel less safe.

You could tell your therapist that you've been reading a thread on a message board where some of the people have pictures of their therapists. And that you would kind of like to have a picture, too. You can talk about what you think it would mean to you to have a picture, where you would keep it, when you would look at it. You could say that it seems like some therapists don't mind their patients having pictures but others do mind. If you explain that you know that your therapist has the right to say yes or no, and that you know that his answer will have more to do with how *HE* feels about his patients having pictures - and that his answer won't really have anything to do with who *you* are - that you assume that his answer would be the same for any patient. Then you are giving him a choice, and giving him your respect.

When I was researching my therapist I was doing it because I had a desperate need. I think now that my need would have been better met by telling her about it. This stuff can be fun, and I know that it is OK to have fun with your therapist (though, to be truthful, I'm not very good at having fun). But I think that it is very important to allow them to have their own lives, and to set the boundaries for their own life.

I never had a picture of my first therapist. It honestly didn't occur to me to ask her for one. Near then end, I hinted that that was what I hoped to find when I googled her. But by then it was too late.

I have a picture of my current therapist - it was on a website about a company that he worked for - complete with a small bio and everything. I told him I have the picture, and that is OK with him. The picture is comforting to me when I feel needy.

I guess that, from my first therapist, I learned that just because you *CAN* do something doesn't make it a good idea to do it.

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T?

Posted by Fallen4myT on March 20, 2004, at 23:53:02

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? Fallen4myT, posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 23:35:21

Lol cool cause you have a foot in you know he is married and her name would help....always they have wedding announcemnts its in the legal news some bride and grooms have their pics taken after or even an engagment pic...good luck and keep me posted :)

> Hehe, I already know where he lives, and I know that he is married (he has mentioned his wife a couple of times, and he has a picture of her in his office).
>
> I guess I will try some more using your suggestions... I'll let you know if I have any luck :)

 

Re: Do you have a picture of your T? fallsfall

Posted by lonelygirl on March 21, 2004, at 0:58:42

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? lonelygirl, posted by fallsfall on March 20, 2004, at 23:40:42

Thanks... You have really expressed the feelings I have about neediness. I have read that, ironically, mental health professonals have a very high rate of suicide compared to other professionals. They are human; they can't "be" the job all the time. I guess the expectations that are placed on them can be a burden sometimes. It must be hard for them when they have to deal with a conflict between being supportive of their patients and taking care of their own needs.

Anyway, I don't feel comfortable at this point asking him for a picture... Maybe in the future, though.

 

Ever wonder why your T is evasive?

Posted by EmmyS on March 21, 2004, at 10:54:49

In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Fallen4myT on March 20, 2004, at 23:53:02

Gosh, I had no idea that some people researched their T's like this. Wow, am I ever feeling naive! I really appreciate people's honesty here.

But, if you have ever felt hurt that your T doesn't answer a personal question....re-read this whole thread. Seems they may have good reasons to be cautious other than the age-old "blank slate" transference booster.

Thus far in my career I've worked only with the chronic in-patient population (my very favorite - I love em!) No internet access there. Phew! Of course, patients do improve and leave. If one showed up on my doorstep, I'm not quite sure what I would do. Tea and cookies? Hmmm....I'm thinking no. Meds review? Hmm...maybe! :-)

Emmy


Go forward in thread:


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.