Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 313858

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Issues with T

Posted by QuietHeart on February 15, 2004, at 22:39:20

Hi All,
I am writing for a couple reasons, mostly because I think about my T ALL the time between sessions and just LOVE her so so so much -- yet I am totally unemotional in session so she probably has no idea I am feeling this way...or does she?

Also, how have others approached the issue of abuse (sexual or physical). I feel the need to reveal the fact that my aunt (who raised me) physically abused me (belt whipping etc) but don't have the courage. How do I just launch into it?

Please advise, thanks all for being such a great bunch.

 

Re: Issues with T QuietHeart

Posted by Elle2021 on February 16, 2004, at 1:56:36

In reply to Issues with T, posted by QuietHeart on February 15, 2004, at 22:39:20

> I am writing for a couple reasons, mostly because I think about my T ALL the time between sessions and just LOVE her so so so much -- yet I am totally unemotional in session so she probably has no idea I am feeling this way...or does she?

I'm getting the impression that you want to express your affection for her. Do you feel romantic towards her, or do you want to show your appreciation for what she has done for you? If the latter is the answer to my question, then perhaps in your next session you can make a point to tell her that you really appreciate what she has done and is doing for you. Or, you could always try the card thing.

> Also, how have others approached the issue of abuse (sexual or physical). How do I just launch into it?

You could bring up discipline or the idea of having children. Then make some comment about how you wouldn't discipline your children in the same way you were disciplined. That is sure to have the follow up question: How were you disciplined? Then you can go into details. If that doesn't work for you, some variation might.
Or, you could just come right out and say, "I've been thinking about my childhood, and I'm curious as to what you think normal, acceptable discipline is for children." That's pretty open. Hope this helps you a little bit! :)

Elle

 

Re: Issues with T

Posted by antigua on February 16, 2004, at 9:39:43

In reply to Re: Issues with T QuietHeart, posted by Elle2021 on February 16, 2004, at 1:56:36

You could write it on a piece of paper and hand it to her.
antigua

 

Re: Antigua is right

Posted by Dinah on February 16, 2004, at 10:15:17

In reply to Re: Issues with T, posted by antigua on February 16, 2004, at 9:39:43

Writing down things that you feel you can't say is a good way to start a dialogue. My therapist used to make me read what I wrote, if I couldn't, he'd read it first, say some reassuring things, then let me read it or discuss it.

Over time it becomes second nature to be able to discuss anything with your therapist. I think I only rarely bring something written anymore. At least for that reason.

 

shame

Posted by shortelise on February 16, 2004, at 13:21:25

In reply to Re: Antigua is right, posted by Dinah on February 16, 2004, at 10:15:17

Are you hesitant because you feel so much shame?

I feel shame about what my Dad did to me, really disrespectful physical punishment, not sexual (at least not overtly) and I have never been able, nor will I ever be able, to tell my shrink about it. My shame is so deep. I know it's absurd, but the idea of telling anyone is too much.

I can't even write it.

ShortE

 

Re: shame shortelise

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 17, 2004, at 15:36:39

In reply to shame, posted by shortelise on February 16, 2004, at 13:21:25

I felt the same about my Dad's punishment, and no I wouldn't even write about here either. When I was much much older I felt angry about the shame too, because I could see perfectly well that *I* had nothing to be ashamed about.

When I began therapy I thought I would never tell my therapist about it. But actually it was only about two or three months in. I'd said that I had a shameful secret which was that my father hated me. My therapist made some comment later about my *feeling* that I was hated. That really annoyed me although I didn't say so, and next session I spilled the beans. And the session after that I found out what she thought about it, and a load spilled off my back that I hadn't known I was carrying.

It's odd though, or maybe not at all, that I knew how my Dad behaved was wrong and felt angry about it, but it wasn't until my first child was born, with two parents who loved him, that I felt utter livid fury with my Dad. And I feel it again, for you, reading your post.
>
> I feel shame about what my Dad did to me, really disrespectful physical punishment, not sexual (at least not overtly) and I have never been able, nor will I ever be able, to tell my shrink about it. My shame is so deep. I know it's absurd, but the idea of telling anyone is too much.
>
> I can't even write it.
>
> ShortE


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