Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 313151

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A Bad Dream

Posted by tinydancer on February 14, 2004, at 7:16:41

This morning I had a terrible dream. I dreamt that my son was trapped in an earthquake and while my father and husband tried to get him out, he had ran and hidden instead of getting out of the building. They tried to get him out but he got killed. In the dream he was laying there lifeless and I was obviously completely devastated. In the dream I was in total grief, I could not accept that he was not with me. I woke myself up with my sobbing and my son was there and asked me what had happened and I told him my dream. (He is 7 by the way). He was so sweet and comforted me but I can't stop thinking about it. I am afraid that somehow this dream could come true. I feel this pain in my heart and chest area, I am just so terrified. The dream was so real, it tore me apart. I know it is torturing myself to keep thinking about it, but I cannot help it. It is almost like compulsive thinking or something. I would like to hear if anyone else struggles with bad dreams (This is not the first time I had a bad dream, I have them a lot) and how they cope with them, especially the aftermath when things seem real. I have MPD so my reality is already very altered. Thanks for reading...

 

Re: A Bad Dream tinydancer

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 7:54:55

In reply to A Bad Dream, posted by tinydancer on February 14, 2004, at 7:16:41

Can a nightmare get much worse than yours.

The worst dream I ever had was when I was under anaesthesia a couple of days after a miscarriage. At the end of the dream I could hear this appalling desolate sobbing and woke up to find it was me that was doing it. While the dream began to fade after a day or so, the memory did stay with me for awhile. I found out afterwards that I'd been given a drug as painkiller that was notorious for mental effects, as if I wasn't bad enough already.

Don't worry, it will fade. Can you get right out of the house somewhere today with your little boy and your husband, even if it's just shopping? That might help to reassure your little boy that you're OK too?

 

Re: A Bad Dream tinydancer

Posted by DaisyM on February 14, 2004, at 16:36:03

In reply to A Bad Dream, posted by tinydancer on February 14, 2004, at 7:16:41

Bad dreams can leave such a physical response of terror. I have them all the time. I generally try to write them down and put them away for therapy discussions. Natural disasters are very common when your life feels out of control. Losing what we love most is often our greatest fear -- so of course your son is what you are afraid of losing. Maybe your unconscience is trying to tell you that you feel like you can't protect him and neither can anyone else? Just a guess. What were you watching or reading that might have triggered the dream? And do you live in Cal?

My most common dreams involve falling. I wake before I hit. I'm trying to teach myself how to fly in my dreams so that next time I "fall" I can save myself. This is intentional dreaming. So far I don't have it yet but I'm hoping it will help.

It is also important to remind yourself that magical thinking is left over from our childhood but on some level we all engage in it. You can not know or cause any kind of natural disaster. So tell yourself that you keep your child safe and that is enough.

He sounds sweet, by the way. Hug him 10 times today. It will make you feel better.

 

Re: A Bad Dream Crooked Heart

Posted by DaisyM on February 14, 2004, at 16:39:57

In reply to Re: A Bad Dream tinydancer, posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 7:54:55

I, too, react to painkillers with weird dreams.

I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage, even if it happened a long time ago... I know that you still always carry it with you.

 

Re: A Bad Dream

Posted by shortelise on February 14, 2004, at 22:09:51

In reply to A Bad Dream, posted by tinydancer on February 14, 2004, at 7:16:41

A bad dream can stay with me for days.

Gestalt dream analysis does a thing where you are everything in your dream.

You'd be your son. You'd say, I am (whatever his name is). My mother (father?) has told me to leave because something terrible is happening. I don't leave because (?). I feel xyz.
I am the building. Something is shaking me, I feel xyz. The earth beneath me is moving, and I cannot withstand the movement, so I fall, collapse. A child within me is killed, I feel xyz, etc.

You get the picture. And always in the present tense, not the past. BE in the dream. It is amazing how the different things in the dream can be parts of ourselves, and can spell out exactly what's going on. It is fascinating, and for me can sometimes take the horror out of a nightmare. I mean, when I break it down in other terms, it seems to be more an expression of my Self than any kind of presentiment.

To be a little more precise, say I dream I am sitting in a cafe drinking a cup of coffee and a dog comes to the table and says hello.
I am the dog. I am minding my own business when I see ShortE at a table in the cafe. I feel so happy to see her. I go in and I say hello. She stares at me, and won't answer. I am so hurt, wonder how I have offended her.
I am the cup of coffee. I am hot and sweet and being comsumed by ShortE. I feel glad.
I am ShortE. I am drinking a delicious cup of coffee, I feel good. A dog comes and speaks to me, says hello and I am frightened. I think I have gone crazy to be spoken to by a dog.

It's hard to do, especially hard to be the things. But I have found that when I am able to think of myself as the various things, then I can really make sense of sometimes senseless seeming dreams.

Even thought I see a psychiatrist who doesn't practice gestalt, I use this method for figuring out dreams.

ShortE

 

Re: A Bad Dream shortelise

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 16, 2004, at 2:55:55

In reply to Re: A Bad Dream, posted by shortelise on February 14, 2004, at 22:09:51

That is so interesting. I've come across the idea that one might be in some way all the different people in one's dream and it's been really enlightening, but not the one about being the inanimate things too. Going to have to take out all my old significant dreams, dust them down and have another look!

Thanks for the idea :)

 

Re: A Bad Dream tinydancer

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 16, 2004, at 3:06:07

In reply to A Bad Dream, posted by tinydancer on February 14, 2004, at 7:16:41

Are you feeling better now? I hope the feeling from the dream has faded. It's awful when the dream feels stronger than waking life.

I agree with DaisyM and shortelise, though. It's a lot less scary when you think of it not as a presentiment of something that might happen but as a very powerful and dramatic commentary on how you might be feeling inside.

Thinking of you.

 

Re: A Bad Dream DaisyM

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 16, 2004, at 12:29:12

In reply to Re: A Bad Dream Crooked Heart, posted by DaisyM on February 14, 2004, at 16:39:57

Thanks. Fortunately, I was around people at the time who thought it was something to grieve about, rather than oh well you can easily get pregnant again (still a common attitude then).


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