Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 310190

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 37. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

FEELING INVISABLE

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 13:21:52

Lately, no matter where I am in person or on the computer it seems like I am invisable to others maybe even my T too. I had a good session with my T this week and usually do but something is off and I don't know what. I also find no matter where I post or when or to whom or even email nobody seems to care till they need something. I even had a dream about my T last night where he was kind of too busy talking to notice my distress and then he did a little bit ..Oh well, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I am nearly ready to pack it in :(

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT

Posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 13:58:11

In reply to FEELING INVISABLE, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 13:21:52

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I feel this way pretty often too, unfortunately. As for folks not responding to posts - I don't know what to tell you except that sometimes the board just isn't busy, or sometimes it is so busy that people might read a post but not respond due to not having enough time. I read posts all the time that I think I'd like to respond to, but if I responded to all of them, I would be spending my entire day on babble! Which I nearly do anyway... :-(

I, too, sometimes feel my T is distracted and not paying full attention to me. And perhaps she is. She actually told me last night that she had stayed up too late watching election results, so she was tired - so I wouldn't have been surprised to see her zoning out, as I tend to do when I'm tired.

But it sounds from what you said like your T is usually on the ball as far as paying attention to you goes - so perhaps he was having a bad day?

One more question - when you say "pack it in." what are you referring to exactly? Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself?

(((Fallen)))

P

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Penny

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 14:43:21

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 13:58:11

Thanks Penney for the reply and all you said..Thing is, this session he was as always attentive and all but I don't know what it is I maybe feel he isn't getting my message on something and I feel lost :( Its not just with him or even this board here, lately it is every place I post or emails I send they get replied to days later but these same people want replies NOW (if you know what I mean) when they write me. My T was late and didn't say sorry or explain maybe that was part of it? Then he said I have to talk to someone for a second once I got into his office and I said kinda pissed (not like me) under my breath (lol like me) "what the hell is another couple of seconds I waited 35 minutes already ". He was fast, hung on all my words once back and we took a full hour. I have been withdrawing a LOT lately from just about everything, more like backing away. I don't know but I wish I was SEEN and that I matter really MATTER :( And maybe it has something to do with T not getting what it is and what I need in return but I feel just crappy both anxious and sad and tons of bad dreams.
On your last question, I do not remember when I signed on some of the rules so I am feeling like maybe I cannot honestly reply in a safe way in here?

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT

Posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 15:19:15

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Penny, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 14:43:21

> Thanks Penney for the reply and all you said..Thing is, this session he was as always attentive and all but I don't know what it is I maybe feel he isn't getting my message on something and I feel lost :( Its not just with him or even this board here, lately it is every place I post or emails I send they get replied to days later but these same people want replies NOW (if you know what I mean) when they write me. My T was late and didn't say sorry or explain maybe that was part of it? Then he said I have to talk to someone for a second once I got into his office and I said kinda pissed (not like me) under my breath (lol like me) "what the hell is another couple of seconds I waited 35 minutes already ". He was fast, hung on all my words once back and we took a full hour. I have been withdrawing a LOT lately from just about everything, more like backing away. I don't know but I wish I was SEEN and that I matter really MATTER :( And maybe it has something to do with T not getting what it is and what I need in return but I feel just crappy both anxious and sad and tons of bad dreams.

I think you definitely need to discuss this with him - it was inconsiderate of him to be late and to make you wait a little longer without even apologizing. He needs to know that it bothered you - chances are, he didn't give it a second thought.

> On your last question, I do not remember when I signed on some of the rules so I am feeling like maybe I cannot honestly reply in a safe way in here?

I think, in general, the rules are that if you post an active suicide threat, Dr. Bob will probably contact your ISP and try to get help to you. If you are feeling suicidal and say so (but no plan), you are free to say that you are having suicidal thoughts. No specifics, I believe about your actual plans...but that is beside the point.

If you ARE feeling suicidal, I need you to get yourself somewhere safe - either to a hospital or somewhere where you are not alone. Do you have a pdoc? Can you call your T? You definitely need to contact someone in person - and I promise you, that if you call your T (or pdoc) and you are having thoughts of hurting yourself, they will be glad you called. That's why they are there.

Otherwise, if you do have a plan and you feel you might be in danger or you might act on your plan, you need to go to a hospital, or, if you can't do that safely, dial 911. (you are in the states, aren't you?)

Bottom line, if you are feeling suicidal, you need to do whatever you have to do to ensure your SAFETY. I know that it may not feel like you want to ensure your safety right now, but, take my word for it, you won't always feel the way you do right now.

I'm going to check in on you later - post back and let me know what you are going to do to take care of YOU.

(((Fallen)))

P

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Penny

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 15:35:39

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 15:19:15

Thanks Penny and sorry I misspelled your name the first time I am an idiot. No, no plans for suicide I once in a while cut and am sort of in the mood for it. For the life of me I don't know why. My husband is going to be home soon so no fears on being alone and I just curled my hair so please don't worry. I never tell my T it annoys me when he is late and sez nothing on it because I have been one to run our sessions *way over* even up to an hour over but I am kinda pissed maybe. He didn't even say am sorry I had an emergency or ? but if I say something I will look petty. Part of me wonders if he does say he is sorry he was late to others but not me? God I am a crazy and stupid ..thanks and I will look for you later we may grab a bit to eat out..well, I hope cause I didn't cook :)

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT

Posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 18:45:12

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Penny, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 15:35:39

Thanks for letting me know, and I'm so relieved you are safe!

Now if we can work on this putting yourself down thing. I'm tempted to give you a PBC for calling yourself names! ;-) Seriously, though, I wish you could be a bit kinder to yourself, especially when you are going through a rough time right now. I'm one to talk, as I'm constantly belittling myself, but just because I do it doesn't mean you have to!

Anyway, I hope you were able to get your mind off your troubles this evening. Again, thanks for letting me know. I'll be checking the board periodically throughout the weekend, so keep me posted on how you are doing and let us know when you need support. In fact, you can make that your subject line, in all caps: I NEED SUPPORT NOW!!!

Another hug for you: ((((Fallen))))

Take care.
P

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Penny

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 18:51:29

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 18:45:12

You're very sweet Penny. I um call myself all kinds of things this last couple of years. WHAT IS A PBC???? LOL I am wondering. We ate at a fast food place as its snowing, again UGH...but the food rocks. I should forewarn you when I use words like check out and cashed in...I MAY mostlikely will mean like GIVE UP but I am so slang. I have been reading some stuff in here and listening to music and lol at some post on a per cent of T's who disrobe in front of clients :D Still I am stressed and all but really I am kinda ok

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT

Posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 19:09:21

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Penny, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 18:51:29

PBC - Please Be Civil, in babbleland. It's what Doc Bob (or one of his deputies) will tell you as a first warning before you are blocked from posting for being uncivil to other posters. However, I don't think you can get a PBC for being uncivil to yourself... :-)

No snow here, fortunately, though we had some a couple of weeks ago. Just rain rain rain. I'm going to go take a nap - and it's just past 8 p.m. my time. I should just go to bed!!!

I'll check in later, or tomorrow.

Take care.
P

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Penny

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:33:05

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 19:09:21

HAHA I would be booted outta here for all I say to ME :P I would rack up PBC's like points in pinball :) My T hates when I call myself retarded and stupid, an idiot etc....I hope you have sweet dreams and see you later..thanks again youre very kind

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT

Posted by terrics on February 6, 2004, at 19:45:22

In reply to FEELING INVISABLE, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 13:21:52

Sorry you are not feeling well. Most people do not respond to my posts either, but it is ok for me. At this moment I am visible,so I do not care. But I understand I think. Is it a little like very shaky ground? I hope your inuendo doesn't mean what I think it means because if it does please contact someone. I will look for your posts now. Feel better. terrics

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:54:27

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on February 6, 2004, at 19:45:22

Aw Terric I am sorry you to get that invisable feeling and treatment I hate it and it makes me wanna just kinda self harm cause I get all frustrated and mad and down....I hate to be stupider than I am but what do you mean by shakier ground? Like with T or ? I do know I am not too good with anger I don't like it nor do it well and I am the one who I take it out on. I WOULD reply to your posts if I seen them. Seems some people get all the answers and replies and have a billion posts out there..OR I am a whiny child :) jealous cause I am not a cheerleader kinda gal


> Sorry you are not feeling well. Most people do not respond to my posts either, but it is ok for me. At this moment I am visible,so I do not care. But I understand I think. Is it a little like very shaky ground? I hope your inuendo doesn't mean what I think it means because if it does please contact someone. I will look for your posts now. Feel better. terrics

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT

Posted by terrics on February 6, 2004, at 20:20:02

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:54:27

Hi again, I guess by shaky ground I meant at times I either feel invisible or wish I was. I'll be looking for your posts. STAY SAFE. terrics

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:33:22

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on February 6, 2004, at 20:20:02

Yes ok thanks I get it! And YES sometimes I can be *flooded* with too many people and friends calling, writing and so on that I want to scream then wham its down to invisable city...I wish I could get something inbetween. And thanks I am trying to hang in here. What boards on here do you hang in?

> Hi again, I guess by shaky ground I meant at times I either feel invisible or wish I was. I'll be looking for your posts. STAY SAFE. terrics

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT

Posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 22:07:30

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:33:22

Hi,
I'm interested in where your name came from, especially since there have been more than a few posts about this.

Just curious. You *don't* have to share if you don't want to. I won't be offended.
-Daisy

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » DaisyM

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 22:39:07

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 22:07:30

Hi Daisy :) no problem in my answering you. My name is two fold one is I love that song Fallen by S McLachlan and have FALLEN for my T *not* transferance which is why I avoid telling my story on the boards cause I am not up for debates and fights and stuff on transferance.

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE

Posted by DaisyM on February 7, 2004, at 0:30:32

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » DaisyM, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 22:39:07

Yeah, you've hinted as much. Actually people here can be pretty open minded, as you will find. I think we just watch out for each other. Many of us are fairly new to Therapy. I'm a first-timer myself!

I like the song Fallen too...

I hope you feel happier soon. Some weeks are tougher than others. And sometimes, I wish I could be as invisible as you seem to feel. It might be easier to take a break from my life that way.

Anyway...glad you are here. But try to remember, we are here to support you, not to the criticize your choices.
-D

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » DaisyM

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 7, 2004, at 0:49:45

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by DaisyM on February 7, 2004, at 0:30:32

Hi Daisy :)
And thank you! Like you I am often the opposite of invisable but man this is killing me. It is feast or famine.
I have been in therapy before WAYYY back and then I was cool for many years. I have been back in therapy for over 2 years now with this T. I liked my other T too but that was long ago over the death of a family member and the anxiety that hit. I have an awesome T now and he is perfect for me in all ways :) So how long have you been in therapy?
Fallen is one of my favorite songs right now I am a huge music fan I love almost any music.
I will keep what you said in mind as far as people not being critical in here but I have seen some posters say things trying to help and I see the original poster feels like defensive and just don't wanna be one to avoid a reply but by replying I might have to defend and so I just kinda bottle it up..maybe Ill open up in time and thanks for the welcome :)

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE

Posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 11:04:10

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:33:22

I mostly stay on this one. [re. What boards do I hang on?] terrics

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE

Posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2004, at 13:17:55

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 11:04:10

Fallen,
I love Sarah MacLachlan! I just got that CD for Christmas. Listen to it all the time.

I just wanted to welcome you. I was new a few months ago and felt similar to you about response patterns. In fact, occasionally, particularly on other boards, I still do. But I just barged in on threads, and eventually began to feel like part of the group. I think that we tend to look especially for threads and responses from the regulars. I know I, too have not had as much time as I would like to respond to every post I read. So I found it easier to just jump into existing threads in order to get into the swing.

It sounds like it is not just this board, though, that is causing you hurt. I do hope you take care of yourself, and I'm glad you have support (I assume from your husband) at home. How long have you been married? I have been married more than 8 years, and I don't know what I would do without my husband.

Please take care, and again welcome,

gg

 

Penny, thanks for carrying the ball last night! (nm)

Posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2004, at 13:18:59

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 11:04:10

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 7, 2004, at 21:28:36

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 11:04:10

So youre mostly on the psychology one then too-good I'll look for you. Do you have a thread of your own?. I have hit the Substance abuse one and also the Alternative ones more to read but I did post too...still lol I remain mostly unreplied to :-/

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » gardenergirl

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 7, 2004, at 21:38:12

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2004, at 13:17:55

Hi GardebGirl and thank you for the welcome. I am a music nut and got Sarah's CD the minute it hit Best Buy I am waiting on the new Nora Jones one I wonder if its good. I love Avril too...oh heck I love all music :)
I have posted around but man people seem to just skip over mine or something. I think I have been posting for a week maybe two but what can you do I have met a few friendly people on here and yeah its not JUST in here where I am feeling left out.
My husband is OK.....O.........K :) UM he can be supportive and nice and can and has hit me and stuff so it's kind of odd. My T wanted me to put him in jail not too long ago. It was a first time hit so we shall see ...he is a mix like very sweet and then really mean and does things that messes me up like steas and stupid stuff..ahhh life is stress :) Thank you again and I am trying to hang in here. Oh, and we have been married 10 years most of the time I feel like I have been doing time

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT

Posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 23:50:38

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 7, 2004, at 21:28:36

We'll probably 'see' alot of each other here. As of now I do not have a thread. terrics

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 0:08:21

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 23:50:38

Maybe you should get one so I/we can get to know you better :) I CAN be nosey lol

 

Re: FEELING INVISABLE

Posted by terrics on February 8, 2004, at 11:08:28

In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:33:22

Fallen4myT, I thought a thread was a statement that others respond to. Am I wrong? Otherwise I started a thread yesterday. terrics


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