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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kalamatianos on January 5, 2004, at 18:26:32
T's can't instill boundaries without having some. It's a big 'Duuuh" that a T must maintain a boundary between them and "folks", or go to JAIL and lose their practice!
No matter how much the indifference might cause pain in the "folks", indifference must be maintained in order to:
1. Create the clear boundary for "folks" to honor.
2. Gently instruct "folks" in the clear benefits of adopting such boundaries.
Many in society seem to have a problem with boundaries since their normal family drama/trauma contains a great deal of enmeshment. Enmeshment is the unmistakable evidence of co-dependency. Anyone's first line of defense against co-dependency is clear boundaries.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 19:35:56
In reply to T's can't instill boundaries without having some, posted by Kalamatianos on January 5, 2004, at 18:26:32
But, what if said therapist doesn't make clear the boundaries. And you have a client who makes it known that s/he tries to test boundaries, yet the therapist insists that what the client refers to as "crossing boundaries" isn't at all boundary crossing according to the therapist. So, I guess I have a question regarding a difference in opinion from the viewpoint of the client and therapist. Only the client is more of a "prude" than the therapist.
Boundaries are a very important part of therapy. Not only for the therapist, but equally important for the client. But, isn't it almost impossible to not become co-dependent upon your therapist? Honestly? Am I missing something here?
I must admit, I don't agree with some of your posts. And I quite disagree with a few. But you do make a few rather intriguing points.
Posted by Speaker on January 5, 2004, at 23:17:33
In reply to Re: T's can't instill boundaries without having some, posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 19:35:56
I do think boundries are extremly important both for the T and the client. Indifference is not at all the same as a boundry to me. Indifference is a lack of concern, intrest, or feeling (apathy) according to Webster. We can have very clear boundries and yet not be indifferent. Unfortunatly, there are many T's that are indifferent and have rigid boundries and collect a lot of money without helping many people. I am in the medical field and I don't feel there is room for indifference in the care of people. Just my opinion!
Posted by Elle2021 on January 6, 2004, at 5:38:59
In reply to T's can't instill boundaries without having some, posted by Kalamatianos on January 5, 2004, at 18:26:32
Do you think in order to maintain sanity and boundaries, that a therapist dissociates himself from the client? I often wonder that.
Elle
Posted by Kalamatianos on January 6, 2004, at 5:39:27
In reply to Re: T's can't instill boundaries without having some, posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 19:35:56
Enmeshment = impossible to see where "you" end and "they" begin, including a lot of overlapping.
Boundaries can be subtle. For children, boundaries might seem abrupt and harsh since they lack the wiring to be able to process "subtle". When did you start using the word "subtle"? I was "un-subtle" most of my teen years.
Codependency is more than just enmeshment. Codependency is "rules based" because of the childhood roots.
DEPENDENCY is a reflex or impulse that keeps us alive till we can take care of ourselves. Continued into adulthood, it can kill us, or make us feel so stuck we might feel dead. Have you ever known a forty yearold still living with his Mom?
Can you see the difference between feeling obligated and feeling free to choose, when, and if? Obligated is one-way, usually parent to child. There might be mutual obligations but each is one-way.
Enmeshment of Codependency is locked-in by obligation and obligatory thinking. Obligatory thinking has no options. Children cannot process optional thinking, but they can FEEL obligated; and they do, mostly.
Posted by Kalamatianos on January 6, 2004, at 5:51:00
In reply to Re: T's can't instill boundaries without having some » Kalamatianos, posted by Elle2021 on January 6, 2004, at 5:38:59
The opposite of love is indfference not hate
Awareness suffers under dissociation, so the T can't help clients when he no longer sees (mind's eye).
This is the end of the thread.
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