Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 296308

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I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist

Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 10:01:12

I've had miserable luck with mental health professionals, apart from my endlessly patient and longsuffering therapist, that sainted man. (OK, I know he's not really that wonderful, but compared to people like biofeedback guy he is...) They tend not to like me, and I tend not to like them. So I'm afraid to meet her on those grounds.

My therapist has told me that there are things I need to tell her about. Things that I have legitimate reason to fear telling her. Things that I've read therapists make plenty of negative comments about. Things that I fear my therapist feels negatively about, though we've talked about it many times. Things that I probably wouldn't tell her, so Tuesday I'm signing a release for him to tell her and I've asked her to talk to him then call me back to make the appointment. (Maybe she'll just decide not to see me, but then the process just starts over.) What if she lets slip what my therapist told her about me, like my other pdoc did? What if she reveals contempt when she talks to me about it? I really have read plenty of mental health professionals express contempt for these things.

I'm halfway inclined to forget the whole thing.

 

Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist

Posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 13:07:27

In reply to I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 10:01:12

First of all, don't forget the whole thing. It's good that your therapist is going to discuss these issues with her, rather than you. I'm sure that he will handle it appropriately. And I'm certain that this is nothing new. Keep in mind this is the mental health profession. They've heard it all before! I've got quite a few marks on my record. If by chance she does turn yuo down, which I think is highly unlikely, then try someone new. And ask your therapist to discuss with you in detail what EXACTLY he is telling the new therapist. If there is something that you feel doesn't need to be discussed, speak up and say so.

Try to have a positive attitude. It does make a world of difference :)

 

Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist Karen_kay

Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 14:42:08

In reply to Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist, posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 13:07:27

Maybe it's coming too soon after the biofeedback debacle.

And the only time I know that my therapist talked to someone else, it ended up with a schizotypal personality disorder diagnosis for me and some rather unflattering remarks from the pdoc who gave it.

And the whole thing is a sensitive subject for me anyway.

I've just got pre-therapy jitters I suppose. She seemed nicer on the phone than biofeedback guy. And I made my therapist promise to remind her not to be as lacking as discretion as the old pdoc. I'll remind him Tuesday.

 

Wishing you well, Dinah! (nm)

Posted by naiad on January 4, 2004, at 16:01:06

In reply to Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 14:42:08

 

Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist Dinah

Posted by antigua on January 4, 2004, at 16:26:39

In reply to I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 10:01:12

Dinah,
Have faith--faith in yourself and everything you are trying to do to get as well as you possibly can be. I know how scary it is to reach out to someone new. While I had actually met my EMDR therapist years ago, I was still afraid to go see her and begin EMDR. Part of me didn't want (and still doesn't want) to connect w/her in the way that I connect w/my regular T because I don't want to take any risks of being hurt. So, I just look at her as a tool; she is using EMDR to help me bring feelings and memories up that I have been afraid to face. I like her enough, but I don't need to love her or care for her as I do my regular T. It's safer for me that way.

I had a horrible experience w/another therapist earlier this summer (CBT guy) and I was so hurt when he rejected me. I had made a unilateral decision to "trust him" (and I don't trust anyone!!) and he didn't turn out to be worthy of my trust. I was too far into my black & white thinking. Now I realize I don't have to take that all or nothing risk w/just anyone (or everyone).

Yikes, I'm rambling. Sorry Dinah. I'm just trying to tell you that you can go slow w/your new EMDR therapist and decide whether or not to trust or to continue. Keep sight of your goal--to make yourself better.
Good luck,
antigua

 

Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist Dinah

Posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 17:33:18

In reply to Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 14:42:08

She seemed nicer on the phone than biofeedback guy.

*That's a good sign. I remember your posts about that guy. You gave him more than a fair chance. I'd say everything that went wrong there was on his part, not on your behalf. So, that was a unique situation indeed.

Just because you've had a few bad experiences, it doesn't mean this one won't work out. And keep in mind that not all of your mental health professionals haven't worked out... You do have a therapist who is almost perfect :) I'm sure that she won't put too much stock into what your therapist tells her. She is a therapist and they do tend to have open minds. If she doesn't, I highly doubt you'd want to see her anyway.

And of course you are going to have jitters. Everyone does, especially if your current therapist speaks with a potential new one first. I'd be tempted to start my first appointment with an interrogation similar to, "OK, so what did he tell you?" Then I'd find some way to make up excuses and explainations for every single action or behavior she described. I guess that says a lot about me...

 

Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist Karen_kay

Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 21:08:20

In reply to Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 17:33:18

I don't really want to know what he says to her. :( I suspect I would be upset.

I don't really have any choice over what he says to her. He thinks she ought to know of the extent to which I dissociate. I'd prefer that remain a personal thing to the point that I'd probably lie outright.

Oh well.... At worst it's another bad experience. At best I have an experience like some of those I've read of here.

 

Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist antigua

Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 21:10:17

In reply to Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist Dinah, posted by antigua on January 4, 2004, at 16:26:39

No, you aren't rambling. You're saying what I need to hear. I think I'm engaging in some black and white thinking too. I saw this lady around the old clinic. She seemed like a nice enough person. While biofeedback guy gave off bad vibes from ten feet away. (He was CBT too.)

 

Re: I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist

Posted by femlite on January 4, 2004, at 21:35:26

In reply to I'm afraid to meet my new EMDR therapist, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 10:01:12

Hi Dinah
Im going to try EMDR soon too. I have a friend who is studying about it to become a counselor. She told me that the program is suppose to proceed at a rate that is comfortable for you. If it becomes uncomfortable, express your discomfort and ask to find a pace you feel safe at.
Look at it one step at a time.
Its your choice, if you want to, you can walk away.
I hope it goes well for you
((((Dinah))))


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