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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 9:37:43
Can I take it? Do I want it? It's not very safe, is it? I want to feel safe more than anything in the universe.
Posted by Elle2021 on January 4, 2004, at 9:55:55
In reply to Do I really want to feel?, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 9:37:43
> Can I take it? Do I want it? It's not very safe, is it? I want to feel safe more than anything in the universe.
Me too. That's a pretty elusive feeling isn't it. I hope you feel better.
Elle
Posted by fallsfall on January 4, 2004, at 10:02:14
In reply to Do I really want to feel?, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 9:37:43
Feeling will involve less safety.
Make sure that your EMDR therapist understands how much you value (require) safety, and how much apprehension you have of actually feeling. You will need to go slowly, so that you can get used to the idea that you will survive other emotions. Baby steps.
I am confident that you can begin to experience feelings without completely disintegrating. Just take it slow.
(((((Dinah)))))
Posted by femlite on January 4, 2004, at 10:03:30
In reply to Do I really want to feel?, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 9:37:43
I want to feel alive. I feel numb and depressed most of the time.
Safe is a good want.
I know fear is what drives me to do the dumber things I do.
But i remember a day, not long ago, (because of a certain med) I went out side. Does that sound strange? The walls of my bedroom are like a prison to me. That day, I went outside! I wanted to be outside! It wasnt an especially nice day, but it felt so good to want to do it.> Can I take it? Do I want it? It's not very safe, is it? I want to feel safe more than anything in the universe.
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 11:25:47
In reply to Re: Do I really want to feel? » Dinah, posted by femlite on January 4, 2004, at 10:03:30
But I'm not entirely sure I want to feel alive. Numb and fuzzy is sort of cozy in a way. The disconnection from day to day is bad in some ways, but not so bad in others. Some days probably aren't worth feeling connected to.
I have this coping mechanism for a reason. Is it wise to try to remove it?
Posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 12:58:10
In reply to Re: Do I really want to feel?, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 11:25:47
I have this coping mechanism for a reason. Is it wise to try to remove it?
*We develope these coping mechanisms for a reason. But, at a point in our lives if there comes a time that we decide that they just aren't working for us anymore then we want them gone. It may have served its purpose in the past, but ask if it is still working for you now? Chances are the answer is a big NO!
True, you won't be as safe. But, you also won't feel as alienated either. Think of how much support you have. You have a wonderful husband, therapist (who's also a snazzy dresser, am I right?), you mentioned a son as well, right? and some beautiful dogs. Think of how much of a better mother and wife you can be, more caring and just a more whole person altogether. I think I'd be willing to give up some stability to get some feeling back in my life. You have a great support system there for you. They aren't going to let anything happen to you. And you're a strong woman as well. And I don't even think it is a trade-off. I think that gaining some feeling will make you a lot less depressed and make you feel even less anxious.
Posted by crushedout on January 4, 2004, at 15:10:16
In reply to Re: Do I really want to feel? » Dinah, posted by femlite on January 4, 2004, at 10:03:30
I think I know exactly what you mean, femlite. I want to feel alive, too. It's a great feeling, and hard to find sometimes.Safe is nice, too. Can we have both simultaneously? That must be the ideal.
> I want to feel alive. I feel numb and depressed most of the time.
> Safe is a good want.
> I know fear is what drives me to do the dumber things I do.
> But i remember a day, not long ago, (because of a certain med) I went out side. Does that sound strange? The walls of my bedroom are like a prison to me. That day, I went outside! I wanted to be outside! It wasnt an especially nice day, but it felt so good to want to do it.
>
> > Can I take it? Do I want it? It's not very safe, is it? I want to feel safe more than anything in the universe.
>
>
Posted by DaisyM on January 5, 2004, at 1:23:34
In reply to Do I really want to feel?, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 9:37:43
I think you do. Because if you didn't you wouldn't keep trying -- Biofeedback and now EMDR.
I've been asking myself all weekend about happiness. I tried to follow through on a conversation I was suppose to have about something that was making me unhappy. I sort of 1/2 did it but I realized that the awareness of my need made me aware it wasn't being met, which made me unhappy. So my question was (is) would I rather *not* be unhappy (remain unaware) but *not* be happy either. Going along and getting along. I've concluded (sort of) that if I choose to not be unhappy vs. being happy,I don't risk but I lose anyway. The ghost of something's missing keeps hanging around.
I think safe is good, content is better but I think Joy is best. I want my joy back!
Posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 11:12:26
In reply to Re: Do I really want to feel? » Dinah, posted by DaisyM on January 5, 2004, at 1:23:34
Posted by Dinah on January 6, 2004, at 0:18:36
In reply to Re: Do I really want to feel? » Dinah, posted by DaisyM on January 5, 2004, at 1:23:34
Hmmm. I'm not sure I remember Joy. :) I think it might have been bundled up in a little dog I could fit in the crook of my neck. But she's been dead since '87.
I will admit to wanting to feel some continuity of being though. Every day seems so disconnected from the day before, like I'm starting all over. And while others seem to think I look and sound pretty consistently like the same person, I can't quite grasp that I am. Every day everything seems just a bit unfamiliar. Including myself. I keep wanting to (figuratively) grab people and ask them if they know who I am, because I sure don't.
I guess I am ready to have that change.
That and the somatization - headaches, IBS, eczema, etc.
Posted by DaisyM on January 6, 2004, at 0:44:44
In reply to Re: Do I really want to feel? » DaisyM, posted by Dinah on January 6, 2004, at 0:18:36
Dinah,
How would your child describe you? I bet there is consistancy there. (and joy.)
I think you are really on a journey to find yourself, not just your feelings and you are very brave to try to blaze the path yourself. No maps, but you have a guide and that will be enough for now.
Remember journeys are just putting one foot in front of the other. Who knows where you will end up!
This is the end of the thread.
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