Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 282064

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Hard, but good session (long)

Posted by Poet on November 21, 2003, at 10:23:02

I did a major binge and purge. Not only did I feel emotionally worse, I burst some blood vessels around my eyes. I had little pin prick red dots that I globbed makeup over. They went away in a few days, but it scared me.

I opened up to my therapist that I was afraid to tell her about what happened because she'll abandon me. She told me she won't ever abandon me because she cares about me. We'd work it out if I can't get back in control again.

She said bulimia,like other addictions, is a circle of doors. I got through them without help, but now I opened the wrong one which caused my relapse. I am strong for being able to get through those doors and I will be able to do it again.

I told her that I used to do it for emotional release, now I do it to punish myself. We got into my childhood emotional neglect and trauma. I said I deserved it, she said she felt what I said in her heart. She was very reassuring and comforting. I got the support I needed. I'm not mad at her anymore, of course, I never told her I was.

I saw my doctor yesterday,too,she increased my Paxil, so hopefully that will give me the boost I need to stay in control.

Next week I see my therapist on Wednesday because of Thanksgiving. I said "you mean you're not coming over for dinner?" I'm not sure I was kidding. :-)

Sorry for the length of this post, I just got a lot out yesterday and it feels good to talk about it.

Poet

 

Wonderful! (nm) Poet

Posted by fallsfall on November 21, 2003, at 11:07:43

In reply to Hard, but good session (long), posted by Poet on November 21, 2003, at 10:23:02

 

Re: Hard, but good session (long)

Posted by karen_kay on November 21, 2003, at 12:00:51

In reply to Hard, but good session (long), posted by Poet on November 21, 2003, at 10:23:02

>Maybe it is a good thing that you felt worse after purging? That could be a step in the right direction. I'm so happy that you were able to tell your therapist about your episode. I've been reading your posts and I know that you are afraid that she'll abandon you. It took a lot of courage to open up and admit that to her. And she assured you that she won't leave you. Doesn't it feel great? You should be so proud of yourself right now!
Funny about Thanksgiving. I just talked to my therapist and tried to schedule on Thursday. He said, "So, are you coming over for Thanksgiving dinner." I was like, "Am I invited?"
Congratulations again on being so courageous!
Karen

 

Re: Hard, but good session (long) Poet

Posted by Dinah on November 21, 2003, at 18:09:35

In reply to Hard, but good session (long), posted by Poet on November 21, 2003, at 10:23:02

Sounds like a wonderful and productive session. I'm really happy for you.


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