![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 12:17:32
From the research I've done, I believe my Mom has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. This is entirely different from regular OCD. With this disorder, the person believes they're right and everyone else is wrong. Nothing I do is ever good enough for my Mom. She constantly criticizes me and puts me down, and since she's obsessed with morality she thinks I'm a degenerate. I had been caring for my Grandmother in her home for 5 years when my Mom lost yet another job due to her inability to get along with other people she decided to move in with us (didn't ask, just decided). Of course immediately she started taking over by rearranging everything in the house, and making it her space. She began taking over the care of my Grandmother and eventually changed history in her mind to reflect that she had to move in because I wasn't taking care of her properly. I should point out before she moved in she was always crying and talking about how guilty she felt that I giving up my life to care for her mother. The real problem started when she wouldn't stay out of my room. I have always paid rent so I put a lock on my door. This has driven her completely insane. She's now showing signs of becoming violent. One day I was laying on the bed and she pick up my 5 yr old nephew and threw him on my face. I had a slight black eye for days. She insists he squirmed out of her arms, but she was mad at me at the time, and I saw her do it. And just the other night she was angry with me so I went to my room. I heard alot of banging and noise and was actually afraid to come out and see what she was doing (my Grandmother wasn't home at the time). I finally came out later and found she had completely torn off the whole front of the cabinet in the bathroom. The wood was actually splintered. I was flabbergasted. Anyway, to make a long story short, the plan was for me to move out and Mom to move in within the next year or so and take over caring for my Grandmother, but Mom moved in ahead of schedule. So here I am all ready to get the heck out of there, but now I'm scared to leave her with my Grandmother because she's become so violent lately. Its always directed at me, but I don't know if that will change. She's obviously unstable. I just don't know what to do, or how to live with it in the mean time as I try to figure it out. Any advice would be appreciated. And sorry about the length. I just had to vent
Posted by sadmom on November 20, 2003, at 14:39:22
In reply to How do I deal with my Psycho Mom?, posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 12:17:32
It sounds more like a mental illness like maybe bipolar disorder, not getting along with others, anger, violence, becoming obsessed with something. Of course, I've only lived with bipolar people so maybe I'm biased.
Posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 15:23:40
In reply to Re: How do I deal with my Psycho Mom?, posted by sadmom on November 20, 2003, at 14:39:22
No, that's the kind of input I'm looking for – people who have dealt with people like this. I could certainly be wrong with my amateur diagnosis. Its just that every time I read a description of OCPD, it fits her to a 'T'. I wasn't aware bipolar caused anger and inability to get along with other people. But I guess it makes sense if someone is in the middle of a manic episode. That's the kind of insight I'm looking for. Thanks!
Posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 15:25:48
In reply to Re: How do I deal with my Psycho Mom?, posted by sadmom on November 20, 2003, at 14:39:22
Apologies if I did. It just occured to me if might be considered offensive.
Posted by zenhussy on November 20, 2003, at 16:15:42
In reply to Re: Hope I didn't offend with the word psycho, posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 15:25:48
> Apologies if I did. It just occured to me if might be considered offensive.
No worries TexasChic.
It was very considerate of you to offer up an apology though. Thank you for doing that.
zh
Posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 17:15:36
In reply to the board is PSYCHOlogical Babble after all! ; ) » TexasChic, posted by zenhussy on November 20, 2003, at 16:15:42
Thanks zenhussy. I guess I'm feeling a little overly sensitive right now. I'm actually getting a panic attack because its time to go home, and I've already taken a Xanax. I feel like I'm about to burst out crying right hear at the office. I'm just so tired of my mom's verbal abuse and now the threat of physical abuse. Plus she's got my grandmother upset, and since Grandmother is ill and has the beginnings of dementia, sometimes she forgets what exactly is going on and ends up griping me out too! I know I have to get out of there for my sanity's sake. I just really don't know what's causing my mom to take this turn towards violence. If its just her rage at me and the fact that she can't make me do what she wants, then maybe moving out would be the best for everyone. But what if when I leave she turns her rage to Grandmother? Well, actually, Grandmother may be able to handle herself better than I can. My mom has always been intimidated by her, and if she tries to start barking out orders, Grandmother will tell her to get the heck out (except she can cuss like a sailor). And I believe that's exactly what my mom would do. But there in lays the next problem, I would by then have rented an apartment, and Grandmother needs someone to live with her. And then there's alway the other side of the coin, what if Mom is so far gone into her psychosis that she does get violent with Grandmother? This is just so confusing . Thanks to anyone who had the patience to read this far. I've got to make the trek home now. I'll check the board tomorrow,
Posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 19:09:14
In reply to How do I deal with my Psycho Mom?, posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 12:17:32
> Hiya!! My name is Karen and I have Bipolar Disorder I (which means I have manic episodes) as well as some traits of OCPD. From what I know, obsession with morality is correct, as well as preoccupation with lists (that is my biggest problem), and issues with always wanting to be in control. So, it sounds like this could be the problem as well. But, if she doesn't want help you can't make her get help, you know? I wish I knew what to tell you. But I know that talking about it helps a lot. Keep posting and venting. It helps to get it out. Keep us updated...
Karen
Posted by Dr. Rod on November 20, 2003, at 22:24:55
In reply to How do I deal with my Psycho Mom?, posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 12:17:32
Thanks for the insight(s) no matter how long it was... Just don't grumble for 24 hours... Try it... It's like the fresh air right after a light summer rain...
You are exhausted with your mother's complaining and criticizing... Show her how to live without grumbling... Tell her how good it feels not to grumble...
Posted by Elle2021 on November 21, 2003, at 5:54:45
In reply to How do I deal with my Psycho Mom?, posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 12:17:32
I have OCD, and I seriously doubt that you mother does from what you described. Sounds more like personality disorder or a mood disorder. BTW, having OCD doesn't make you psycho...but it can feel that way. :)
Elle
Posted by Elle2021 on November 21, 2003, at 5:55:45
In reply to Re: How do I deal with my Psycho Mom? Sadmom, posted by TexasChic on November 20, 2003, at 15:23:40
OCD and OCPD are two entirely different things.
Elle
Posted by TexasChic on November 21, 2003, at 9:09:26
In reply to Re: How do I deal with my Psycho Mom? » TexasChic, posted by Dr. Rod on November 20, 2003, at 22:24:55
> Thanks for the insight(s) no matter how long it was... Just don't grumble for 24 hours... Try it... It's like the fresh air right after a light summer rain...
>
> You are exhausted with your mother's complaining and criticizing... Show her how to live without grumbling... Tell her how good it feels not to grumble...I'm sorry, I don't really understand what you're trying to tell me. Are you saying I'm grumbling or my Mom? Your right about my being exhausted from my mom's complaining and criticizing, but I usually try to ignore her or leave the room rather than add fuel to the fire.
Posted by Elle2021 on November 21, 2003, at 22:02:25
In reply to Re: How do I deal with my Psycho Mom?: Dr Rod, posted by TexasChic on November 21, 2003, at 9:09:26
Have you tried telling your mum how bad it makes you feel when she criticizes you so harshly? Maybe if she understood what she is doing, she would quit. If she starts abusing you or others, it's best to tell someone you trust. Don't be afraid to do it, I know it can feel scary. Keep me update. God bless you.
Elle
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.