Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 281378

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 33. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?)

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 17:46:59

Ok, now I have a crush on my therapist because he is yummy. And I get crushes on older men because I want a father. I spoke with my therapist about helping me end this crush and he said that he still thinks it is beneficial because it keeps me coming back in. I told him I was afraid it would get out of hand (ie. I *might* find out where he lives and drive past his house). He said he wouldn't let that happen. He basically said that I have feelings for the idea of him and not him, as this is a pattern. Also, there is not much he can do to help me get over this crush. Also, he doesn't see the harm..

ok part II
I have a problem with sex because of some things that happened to me as a child. I have feelings of shame associated with sex. I admitted (sheesh!) that I think about him when I masturbate (talk about being honest!! big step for me!) and I feel guilty about it because I feel like I should not think of him like that. I also feel in a way that I am "taking advantage" of him, because he is married. Well, rather than just saying that I am free to think about whom I please he flat out told me I had his permission to think about him and that "Now it is consentual." I understand that he is trying to validate that I am a sexual being and that there is nothing negative about having sexual fantasies, but in saying this, he is only "feeding" my fantasy about him. And, of course I didn't say anything about it. I just kinda smiled. Does this sound like the appropriate way to handle this situation, to give permission? I wasn't looking for permission, I wanted him to say Stop!!! Why don't they do what you want? Ugh! Feedback? Anyone? Karen

pS.. At least I don't feel guilty so it had the desires result, but now I feel like he wants me to think of him like that......

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay

Posted by shar on November 19, 2003, at 18:58:37

In reply to Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 17:46:59

I would vote yes. He handled it properly. It is out in the open--a big part of therapy. I always see female therapists, but, if you can feel safe masturbating to a fantasy of him, that is a LONG way from feeling abused by early sexual experiences....and feeling safe is ALWAYS far better than feeling abused.

We work out these things in different ways. It would not (imo) be good to have sex with your therapist. But what goes on in your mind when you masturbate is yours and yours alone. (tho I may get a pbc for saying so, even god has no business there.)

The most healthy part is that YOU SAID SO! Kudos to you for that!

Shar

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?)

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 19:15:30

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay, posted by shar on November 19, 2003, at 18:58:37

The realization just hit me of what I actually told him! Oh my god! Kicking my self in the pants.... Ugh!!!! Why?? Ok, now, if I can tell my therapist this, I think I can tell him anything at this point!!!

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay

Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2003, at 19:22:58

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 19:15:30

> Ok, now, if I can tell my therapist this, I think I can tell him anything at this point!!!

What an enormous amount of freedom you have now! You can indeed tell him anything. Go to it. :)

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay

Posted by DaisyM on November 19, 2003, at 19:28:39

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 19:15:30

I am beyond impressed! Being that honest took so much courage - on both your parts!

I'm sure he meant you had permission to think about who ever you want to -- not that he wanted you to think about him. I've known people who have described whole long drawn out fantasies about their Therapists during sessions, with encouragement from the Therapist. It is about building trust -- and this is such an intimate subject -- you must trust him to be so open.

As far as the crush goes, I think you have to monitor it yourself and keep telling him where you are with it. It may get tempting to try and shock him or latch onto little things to feed these feelings. Watch that you aren't spending too much time thinking up things to say, and not saying the real things that need to get said. A friend of mine is a retired Therapist and she always asks me, "and how much time did THAT take away from the REAL issue that you are avoiding?"

It is a good question.
-D

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » shar

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 21:37:02

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay, posted by shar on November 19, 2003, at 18:58:37

> I would vote yes. He handled it properly. It is out in the open--a big part of therapy. I always see female therapists, but, if you can feel safe masturbating to a fantasy of him, that is a LONG way from feeling abused by early sexual experiences....and feeling safe is ALWAYS far better than feeling abused.

>Is there a reason you always see female therapists, if you don't mind my asking? I always see male therapists, but it is because I want a daddy. Feel free to ignore this question if you wish.
I agree that he did handle it properly, but I would feel more comfortable if he would have just left it at "You can fantasize about whatever you wish," and not proceeded to give me permission to fantasize about him. I just feel that in doing so it is allowing me to continue with the fantasy. I have faith that he knows what he is doing. Guess I'll just have to wait and see. But, I'm dreading the next appointment. I feel like a real jerk! There's beign honest and there is crossing a line. And I'm not sure which one I did...

> We work out these things in different ways. It would not (imo) be good to have sex with your therapist.

*No worries about this one... I had a crush on a boss in the past, and he responded. I ran the other way!!!! Yucky! I want a daddy, but am confused as to what a daddy is really like.


But what goes on in your mind when you masturbate is yours and yours alone. (tho I may get a pbc for saying so, even god has no business there.)
>
Here here!!

> The most healthy part is that YOU SAID SO! Kudos to you for that!

Thank you :)


>

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » Dinah

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 21:42:19

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay, posted by Dinah on November 19, 2003, at 19:22:58

> I just kinda blurted this out though :( If only everything else were that simple... But, believe me, I'll try, or not try?

> What an enormous amount of freedom you have now! You can indeed tell him anything. Go to it. :)
>

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?)

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 21:51:11

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on November 19, 2003, at 19:28:39

> I am beyond impressed! Being that honest took so much courage - on both your parts!

>Well, mine just kinda came out, so it wasn't really that hard. His answer on the other hand was possibly excruciating. Maybe not. Maybe they have a standard answer for these questions? Maybe I'll ask at the next sesison?

>I've known people who have described whole long drawn out fantasies about their Therapists during sessions, with encouragement from the Therapist.

Wow! Now that takes courage! I'm not exactly sure I could go into details.


It is about building trust -- and this is such an intimate subject -- you must trust him to be so open.

I do trust him. It feels good to finally say that too. And I don't really trust many people. Especialy men.

Watch that you aren't spending too much time thinking up things to say

how do you mean? I spend quite a bit of time thinking up things to say and I actually admitted it at the last session. I anticipate what he might say back, and what I might say in return. I try to prepare a script. Ugh. I just want to please him.


 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?)

Posted by sweet77 on November 19, 2003, at 23:25:33

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 21:51:11

hey karen.... dont fel bad i masterbate with thought of my therpist tooooo now i feel alil better knowing there is someone out there that does that too .. only problemis he dont know ugh ugh ugh ... he dont even know i have feelings for ugh ... i can tell him ... i am scared he will get rid of me and the pain will be too much i dunno ugh ugh

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay

Posted by Dinah on November 20, 2003, at 9:49:34

In reply to Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 17:46:59

Karen? Two questions occurred to me from your post.

Why does he think yuo need the hook of your crush on him to continue to come into therapy? Is it true? If it is or isn't, maybe that should be a topic of conversation.

If you got the impression he was enjoying your fantasies a bit too much, could you tell him you got that impression? Unfortunately it does happen and it might interfere with the progress of therapy if it's true. My therapist gently accepts my thinking of him as my therapist/mommy, the mother dog to my newborn pup, the warm milky teat. But he certainly doesn't try to encourage it. lol. He wouldn't try to keep me there and is eager to see my toddling steps towards independence, even if he realizes that they scare me. If you're wondering if he's getting gratification from your fantasies, I would think that is a legitimate question. It's certainly better to ask it than to have hopes/fears about it.

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay

Posted by judy1 on November 20, 2003, at 9:50:32

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 21:51:11

I've hit on just about every (older) male therapist I have had (usually when manic). I don't feel yours crossed any boundaries, I'm sure he has run into this type of situation before and handled it properly. You are building a trusting, therapeutic relationship and he's encouraging you to be honest. There's nothing wrong with that. You might want to explore why you have these feelings for him (other than a daddy). These type of feelings don't come up with female therapists, but then you wouldn't get a chance to explore them.
take care, judy

 

Re: what do you mean? » karen_kay

Posted by DaisyM on November 20, 2003, at 12:09:33

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 21:51:11

Ok, this is totally the pot calling the kettle black, BUT -- when you script the session aren't you then avoiding what might be hard. Even talking about that you do that, takes up time and avoids the "why" question. Of course you want to control things: why?

You are essentially practicing your emotional response before you get there. You are being honest about your actions but are looking for the "correct" feeling(s) -- Like you said, you just want to please him: why? Are you pleasing yourself? How scary is spontaneous for you? (scares me to death!)And, how much of your REAL life aren't you living if your head is *always* in session?

It is so hard, isn't it? I really thought 6 months ago if I could get to the "aha!" then I would suddenly feel better. Understanding and intellectualizing has always worked before. My Therapist keeps encouraging me to stop thinking of it in terms of "fixing" but instead to try to use the word "healing". It is hard because I feel broken. He calls me wounded. I feel immature and ridiculous half the time. He considers that progress. Ugh.

I'll say it again: you were/are amazingly brave to have been so honest. Now, go the next step and don't practice how you should feel. Just feel. Easier said than done, don't I know.
-D

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?)

Posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 12:11:15

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay, posted by Dinah on November 20, 2003, at 9:49:34


>Well, a huge part of my issues I need to deal with at this point are sexual in nature. And the rest of my issues stem from this. He doesn't openly initiate conversation about my feelings for him, but at this point I am leading the sessions. I think his point is that I should have no guilt associated with sexual thoughts, reguardless of what they are about. But, I am the one who seems to want to discuss this matter, because I do not want the crush to continue. He seems adamant in his stance that it is causing no harm. I am the one bringing it into the session, not him. But, I continue to bring it because I feel guilty.

> Why does he think yuo need the hook of your crush on him to continue to come into therapy? Is it true? If it is or isn't, maybe that should be a topic of conversation.
>
> If you got the impression he was enjoying your fantasies a bit too much, could you tell him you got that impression? Unfortunately it does happen and it might interfere with the progress of therapy if it's true. My therapist gently accepts my thinking of him as my therapist/mommy, the mother dog to my newborn pup, the warm milky teat. But he certainly doesn't try to encourage it. lol. He wouldn't try to keep me there and is eager to see my toddling steps towards independence, even if he realizes that they scare me. If you're wondering if he's getting gratification from your fantasies, I would think that is a legitimate question. It's certainly better to ask it than to have hopes/fears about it.

I tend to over-analyze situations. Since I am not feeling guilty about my fantasy I should leave well enough alone, right? I think that with him taking it to the next level and actually giving me permission, in my head I feel I justified it as him saying, "I might like it that she thinks of me that way." I am just hypersensitive about sexual remarks and strive to find motivation behind the context. Another example. He tells me I look beautiful every session. The reason is to help me realize that a man can make a comment like that without looking at me in a lustful way. However, in my head I still get it confused that he is. I don't find it disturbing or upsetting, just confusing. I know that eventually it will click and I'll get it, but right now it just confuses my little head :( Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.
I really have made a lot of progress since I started my sessions with him. My moods are stable, and I've not SIed, I'm not taking any antianxiety meds, and my grades are really improving. And I feel wonderful. And he continues to encourage me.
I think next week I'll briefly discuss this with him. But, I do think that most importantly from a stupid (stupid stupid!!) outburst came a turning point in my therapy. And for that I am truly grateful.

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay

Posted by underthecs on November 20, 2003, at 12:14:50

In reply to Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 17:46:59

You're awesome! Could you please come to my sessions and speak for me? Keep us updated. Good luck (though it sounds like you don't need it).

 

Re: what do you mean? » DaisyM

Posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 12:30:44

In reply to Re: what do you mean? » karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on November 20, 2003, at 12:09:33

> Ok, this is totally the pot calling the kettle black, BUT -- when you script the session aren't you then avoiding what might be hard. Even talking about that you do that, takes up time and avoids the "why" question. Of course you want to control things: why?

>Because growing up I Never had control. I have to have control now or I fall apart. Right now during therapy, he gives me control and it is working. He lets me lead the sessions. And this has led to me remembering things from my childhood, being less resistant (and let me tell you, I am the Queen of Restistance!), and progress in general. I think though, that since I was so honest last session, I might want to reexamine our routine and let him drive. No harm in letting him be on top every once in a while.
I think that letting me be in control for a while showed me that I could trust him. It was a power struggle of sorts and it really showed me that he didn't mind letting me lead us for a while. I really appreciate him for doing that, but I think this is something that we will definetly talk about next session. Your point is well taken hun! But, it was important for me to know that I could trust him to let me have control for a while and test the water, so to speak.

> You are essentially practicing your emotional response before you get there. You are being honest about your actions but are looking for the "correct" feeling(s) -- Like you said, you just want to please him: why?

:( I CANNOT believe I am telling you this... I should print this out... Because I have decided that I don't don't deserve to be happy (I had a rough childhood, basically severely abused by both parents in different ways and decided that I must be a bad person). My best bet is to try to make everyone else happy. I want to be what everyone else wants me to be.

Are you pleasing yourself?
Ummmm....see above

How scary is spontaneous for you? (scares me to death!)
I'm spontaneous to a point, but only when it serves its purpose. Well, I guess I am impulsive. Too, impulsive.

And, how much of your REAL life aren't you living if your head is *always* in session?

>It isn't always in session. My biggest problem is that I am not very good at anticipating what he'll say. So, I become resistant and just don't talk because I don't know what he wants me to say.

> It is so hard, isn't it? I really thought 6 months ago if I could get to the "aha!" then I would suddenly feel better. Understanding and intellectualizing has always worked before. My Therapist keeps encouraging me to stop thinking of it in terms of "fixing" but instead to try to use the word "healing". It is hard because I feel broken. He calls me wounded. I feel immature and ridiculous half the time. He considers that progress. Ugh.

>I too feel immature and I really hate that feeling. I want to be a woman, not a little girl. Soemtimes I think it is better to say nothing than to say something stupid or something wrong.

> I'll say it again: you were/are amazingly brave to have been so honest. Now, go the next step and don't practice how you should feel. Just feel. Easier said than done, don't I know.

>I'm just afraid that sometimes I don't really feel anything. I've really pushed my emotions deep inside that I almost don't feel them anymore. Is that possible?

Karen


 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay

Posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 12:35:55

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay, posted by underthecs on November 20, 2003, at 12:14:50

>Wow! Thank you so very much! It really hit me yesterday that I said something that maybe I should not have said, but everyone here keeps telling me I did the right thing. And I am sure you wouldn't wnat me to come and speak for you at your sessions. Trust me on this one :) Good luck at your sessions too! Karen

You're awesome! Could you please come to my sessions and speak for me? Keep us updated. Good luck (though it sounds like you don't need it).

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » sweet77

Posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 13:03:35

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?), posted by sweet77 on November 19, 2003, at 23:25:33

> Hi sweet!
I want to direct you to a previous post at the top of this page. It is
Transference crisis <<sadmom Dinah

Props to Dinah for accurately explaining transference in a way that everyone can relate. Please read this post.

Now, your therapist is professionaly trained to handle cases of transference. You should tell him about your feelings. It will help you to make such a leap in therapy! He should not terminate your therapy because you tell him you are developing feelilngs for him. It is very common.I really urge you to take this step. I know that it seems so hard to do, but once you do it imagine all the things you will be free to dicuss with him! It is almost like you have no secrets anymore! Someone you can talk to about anything, and they don't judge you! Please, get this off your chest! You'll be glad you did! Now, hun, go read that post. Karen

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? consensual

Posted by joslynn on November 20, 2003, at 13:10:29

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay, posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 12:35:55

I hope I am not out of line in saying this, especially as a newbie, but for some reason the "Now it's consensual" comment you said he made gave me a little pink flag feeling. I don't know why and it could have more to do with my own stuff than you.

Consent means "To give assent or approval." It's not just saying "That's ok" it's saying "I approve."

I guess that to me, the word "consensual" in the case would sound to me like he was condoning his emotional participation in some way? Not that any of this would be literal...but figuratively, the word to me sounds like something two people do together. "Consensual" is not something that one person has, it involves more than one person, e.g., the phrase "Consensual opinion." "Now it's consensual" to my ears would sound like he was not just saying my fantasies were ok, but that on some level, he agreed with them.

I'm a writer, so I do tend to get hung up on words, and maybe that's all this is. I just wanted to let you know another opinion, since you asked.

(I don't even think he did anything technically wrong, but that word choice is not one I would have made if I were in his position. And of course I would be The Perfect Therapist, lol)

I am sorry you experienced that abuse in your childhood and I hope this post does not bring up any bad feelings. It's just another angle.

 

Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? consensual

Posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 14:29:37

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? consensual, posted by joslynn on November 20, 2003, at 13:10:29

> I hope I am not out of line in saying this, especially as a newbie, but for some reason the "Now it's consensual" comment you said he made gave me a little pink flag feeling. I don't know why and it could have more to do with my own stuff than you.

I too get hung up on the wording!!! And I appreciate the input! That is what struck me as odd, the wording of it. That is why I tend to think that maybe he gets a kick out of the whole thing. I do appreciate your input.

...but figuratively, the word to me sounds like something two people do together. "Consensual" is not something that one person has, it involves more than one person, e.g., the phrase "Consensual opinion." "Now it's consensual" to my ears would sound like he was not just saying my fantasies were ok, but that on some level, he agreed with them.
>
>But, maybe he was just agreeing that it was ok to fantasize. But, I too favor that it was possibly improper word usage. Tends to get my hopes up:(

> (I don't even think he did anything technically wrong, but that word choice is not one I would have made if I were in his position. And of course I would be The Perfect Therapist, lol)
>

>
>I agree that he didn't do anything technically wrong and it did have the desired results. And no, it didn't bring up any bad feelings at all. Feel free to speak up, even if your opinion differs from the rest. I thought maybe I was odd in thinking something was wrong with what he said. At least someone else agrees that he may have used different wording. Thanks for helping to put my mind at ease! Karen
>
>

 

Big news!

Posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 18:07:39

In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? consensual, posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 14:29:37

Hey! Maybe he was on to something! Since you guys don't know me I feel like I can share this. I had my first orgasm today! Yahooooo!!!! for Karen! I didn't feel guilty at all! I even thought about calling my therapist, but I thought maybe this can wait until Tuesday. Now, I just have to stay clear of inappropriate comments like, "And you were there," ect. But, they are so very tempting. Thank you everyone for listening and the input!! I do appreciate it. Maybe sex isn't such a bad thing?
Karen

 

Re: Big news! » karen_kay

Posted by DaisyM on November 20, 2003, at 18:45:46

In reply to Big news!, posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 18:07:39

LOL -- LOL -- LOL--

Good for you! And, ahhh...keep up the good work???

We haven't talked about THAT as a coping skill but maybe i should add it to the list?! (Not that brave, yet, if ever.)
-D

 

Re: Big news!

Posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 18:50:57

In reply to Re: Big news! » karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on November 20, 2003, at 18:45:46

>D- I just have to say, hun I think I love you.. You are truly one of my fav people to chat with on here! Karen



LOL -- LOL -- LOL--
>
> Good for you! And, ahhh...keep up the good work???
>
> We haven't talked about THAT as a coping skill but maybe i should add it to the list?! (Not that brave, yet, if ever.)
> -D

 

Re: what do you mean? » karen_kay

Posted by DaisyM on November 20, 2003, at 19:57:34

In reply to Re: what do you mean? » DaisyM, posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 12:30:44

>:( I CANNOT believe I am telling you this... I should print this out... Because I have decided that I don't don't deserve to be happy (I had a rough childhood, basically severely abused by both parents in different ways and decided that I must be a bad person). My best bet is to try to make everyone else happy. I want to be what everyone else wants me to be.

<<<Oh Karen, that must have been very hard to admit, say (type). Thank you for sharing it with me. I hope you've said it in therapy, giving it the weight it deserves. I so understand needing to be perfect for everyone else. But being a chameleon is exhausting, don't you think?

>It isn't always in session. My biggest problem is that I am not very good at anticipating what he'll say. So, I become resistant and just don't talk because I don't know what he wants me to say.

>>I know you know this, but you are suppose to say what YOU want to say, and then he holds it and responds (or not). It sounds like you've made huge head way though -- blurting is progress! And, I didn't mean to make assumptions about where your thoughts might be! :)

<I'm just afraid that sometimes I don't really feel anything. I've really pushed my emotions deep inside that I almost don't feel them anymore. Is that possible?

>>Totally possible. It is what I have been working on for 6 months. FallsFalls told me awhile ago that trying to capture post session emotions was a good step to finding them during sessions. Practice putting them into words. My Therapist told me I had exiled that part of myself so I had no vocabulary at first. I will say that now it is 50/50 proposition if I'm going to "feel" or not -- I'm getting better at it. I still have memories totally devoid of feelings however. It is weird. I can see what is happening and I can have feelings in the here and now -- but I can't get to what I felt then. Speaks to the horror, doesn't it?

Anyway, I appreciate how much you've been willing to share here. Feel the cyber-hug and my glowing (flat screen) admiration! :)
-D

 

Re: DaisyM

Posted by karen_kay on November 21, 2003, at 9:28:21

In reply to Re: what do you mean? » karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on November 20, 2003, at 19:57:34

I hope you've said it in therapy, giving it the weight it deserves.
<I have told him several times that I just want to say what he wants me to. He has told me several times that he just wants me to be honest. But, it just seems so hard. I'm not sure to what degree to be honest. I'm not sure when I'm going too far. I don't know what I need to talk about. It's so confusing! And it seems that what he wants me to talk about (ie my dad) I really don't want to talk about, because I'm afraid that I might get to a point where I may really come to need my therapist and I HATE being needy. I've never needed anyone in the past, and I don't intend to start needing anyone in the future! (Stubborn, aren't I? :)

I so understand needing to be perfect for everyone else. But being a chameleon is exhausting, don't you think?

<Not nearly as exhausting as trying to figure out who I really am!



> >>Totally possible. It is what I have been working on for 6 months. FallsFalls told me awhile ago that trying to capture post session emotions was a good step to finding them during sessions. Practice putting them into words. My Therapist told me I had exiled that part of myself so I had no vocabulary at first. I will say that now it is 50/50 proposition if I'm going to "feel" or not -- I'm getting better at it. I still have memories totally devoid of feelings however. It is weird. I can see what is happening and I can have feelings in the here and now -- but I can't get to what I felt then. Speaks to the horror, doesn't it?

<My problem at this point is that I still don't have many memories of my childhood at all. My memory is so bad, I have a hard time remembering my birthdate. I can watch the same film 3 or 4 times and not remember the ending. It is improving a bit though. But, I really don't have feelings associated with what little memories I do have. Maybe a bit of shock, but not fear or hurt or anger. Nothing like that. Another odd thing I have noticed about myself is that the only time I cry is when someone hurts my feelings (ie they don't have time for me ) or makes me feel dumb.

Thanks so much for your support! You have been such a sweet heart! Good luck working through the things that you are going through as well.
Karen
>

 

Re: Big news!

Posted by crushedout on November 21, 2003, at 10:11:19

In reply to Big news!, posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 18:07:39

i think you definitely should tell him he was there and that he had one, too! hey, he CONSENTED to it!

if i were him, i'd be honored.


> Hey! Maybe he was on to something! Since you guys don't know me I feel like I can share this. I had my first orgasm today! Yahooooo!!!! for Karen! I didn't feel guilty at all! I even thought about calling my therapist, but I thought maybe this can wait until Tuesday. Now, I just have to stay clear of inappropriate comments like, "And you were there," ect. But, they are so very tempting. Thank you everyone for listening and the input!! I do appreciate it. Maybe sex isn't such a bad thing?
> Karen


Go forward in thread:


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.