Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 281413

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Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 19:07:42

I love my wife. She is multi diagnosed Chronic PTSD, Disociative Identity Disorder,and recently said to be Bipolar. Some Psychotic dellusions have occured to. I love her and want to see her through this. I want my wife back...the woman I married. The "Person in the wedding videos" as she will even say. The problem is she lashes out with devistating results. I'm a Policeman. SHe had goten a restraining order on me and accused me of horrible felonies. She came back to reality and I ran back to her. Re-newed wedding vows in Vegas as fast as possible. I wanted to show the world I will stand by her... Well, It has occured again. This time accusations of murder, etc. Its a terribly expensive to defend it with lawyers. She obtains representation as well even she would not need it. The costs are out of this world. I can't afford to pay for the home anymore & our 4 kids have been seized by child protective services. "I love my beautiful wife"my family. I can't see how I can take another hit. We were even planning to move away to AZ to start fresh. The job transfer was approoved and in the works. I tried so hard to keeep us together. I love Miko and would quit my job to keep our family together. However, I do not trust that she will never do this again. In fact I feel If "I forgive & forget, I will re-live and regret". WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY DO? We love each other and Its a huge shame we wil end in divorce. I can only hope in Heaven we can be back together as a happy family

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 19:24:51

In reply to Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 19:07:42

I really hear your concern for your wife. Is your wife on medication? I think the most important thing at this point is to get her stabilized on medication(s) that works for her (and it might take some time to find the right cocktail)and make sure that she remains on them. Does she have a doctor in AZ lined up? And you both might want to check into some counseling to help deal with the emotions you have gone through with this diagnosis and aftermath. I see that you love your wife very much, and it is very courageous of you to stand by her side. I think that once her manic episodes are stabilized you will see the "person in the wedding photos" once again. I am Bipolar as well, and once I was put on proper meds, my manic and depressive episodes are not nearly as severe! Good luck to you!
Karen

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 19:37:39

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 19:24:51

> I really hear your concern for your wife. Is your wife on medication? I think the most important thing at this point is to get her stabilized on medication(s) that works for her (and it might take some time to find the right cocktail)and make sure that she remains on them. Does she have a doctor in AZ lined up? And you both might want to check into some counseling to help deal with the emotions you have gone through with this diagnosis and aftermath. I see that you love your wife very much, and it is very courageous of you to stand by her side. I think that once her manic episodes are stabilized you will see the "person in the wedding photos" once again. I am Bipolar as well, and once I was put on proper meds, my manic and depressive episodes are not nearly as severe! Good luck to you!
> Karen
>

Hi Karen,

Yes she is (was) on medications. I can't even alk to her without being arrested right now. I have no idea how she is doing. I'm afraid she will crash and realize the irriversable damage this has caused. I'm a Police Officer-This has basically sealed the fate of never transfering to any other dept. It was tough enough explaining the first time. This second time I do not see being tolorated by a potential employer...including my current employer.

She went to the news papers and made her allegations public. It was a big mess to fix the first time.

I can't see how I can possibly keep going on with her reactions being the way they are. If they were of a different nature I can see staying with her "in sickness and in health"

She is very smart which makes matters worse! SHe presents well and uses the legal system to attack me.

Your right. I do love her very much. I'm in tears as i write. I don't understand why she attacks me.

Did you ever lash out at the ones that loved and supported you the most?

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 20:12:59

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 19:37:39

>I did (and still do to a point) to some point strike out at my loved ones, but not this severe. I mostly got into trouble with money and promiscuity. If you can't see her right now, maybe it couldn't hurt to check into some counseling for yourself. I really don't know what to tell you to do legally. I do know that when manic, a person really loses control. I think that right now, you should try to take care of yourself, especially since you can't (am I right??) contact her. Wait until the smoke clears and then try to salvage what is left of your relationship. Just try to realize that she is hurting right now too. I'm sorry about your situation. Please continue posting. I'll continue to answer. Karen
>
> Hi Karen,
>
> Yes she is (was) on medications. I can't even alk to her without being arrested right now. I have no idea how she is doing. I'm afraid she will crash and realize the irriversable damage this has caused. I'm a Police Officer-This has basically sealed the fate of never transfering to any other dept. It was tough enough explaining the first time. This second time I do not see being tolorated by a potential employer...including my current employer.
>
> She went to the news papers and made her allegations public. It was a big mess to fix the first time.
>
> I can't see how I can possibly keep going on with her reactions being the way they are. If they were of a different nature I can see staying with her "in sickness and in health"
>
> She is very smart which makes matters worse! SHe presents well and uses the legal system to attack me.
>
> Your right. I do love her very much. I'm in tears as i write. I don't understand why she attacks me.
>
> Did you ever lash out at the ones that loved and supported you the most?

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 20:42:43

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 20:12:59

> >I did (and still do to a point) to some point strike out at my loved ones, but not this severe. I mostly got into trouble with money and promiscuity.

Yes, another worry of mine right now:( reading symptoms of this disorder.


>> If you can't see her right now, maybe it couldn't hurt to check into some counseling for yourself.

I'm in counceling & on some meds myself now to help get through this pain, depression, anguish, dispair.


>> I really don't know what to tell you to do legally. I do know that when manic, a person really loses control.

I understand this. Thats why I do not get mad at her actions. I know its not her & she needs help. SHe read the DSM100 and knows exactly what to say/not to say to get the help she needs. 21 yrs of thearapy to. SHe knows more than most of the therapists...

>>to salvage what is left of your relationship. Just try to realize that she is hurting right now too.

I don't know how to salvage this one. Its a major last straw. I only wish God would show me a miricale to convince me it'd never occur again in the extreme manner it does.

I fear she will realize what she has destroyed & lost when she crashes. $350K home, loving husband, family, perhaps even the children. She's mentioned suicide in the past. I hope loosing all of this will not make her to severly depressed. I'm sad for her & concerned. She is actually in fear of me. I beleave she beleaves what she claims.

The last episode lasted approximate 40 days. Mothers day se came to and reached out. I took her back with no concerns. I'm to afraid to go back.

How ong with ths go on? SHe basically started all this after having Post pardem psychosis. Went 9 months fine..and started up with this behavior.

She hasn't been like this. At leas that I know f. SHe has presented well enough to get passed me this time.

I want to stay but I'm afaid i can't this time. I file for divorce son. Although I actually don't want to! Its seems to be a necessity for the kids, my own mental health, career(not so important on the scale of things)We love eachother, thats what kills me. Its such a paradox.

I guess I'm looking for a miracle answer...The answer is in my heart. But I will be no good to anyone with no means of an income, or if she had her way,loss of my freedom.

I hope God forgives me for leaving her in the time she needs me most. I want nothing more to be there for her. But when she attacks like this, its impossible.

WHat if anything will bring her back? I have been told she has said she wished this the current situation) never happened and we need to just move. She has destroyed that chance for the move SHE wanted most. It seems like she is taking my forgiveness for granted.

I DO NOT SEE AN ALTERNATIVE. I wish someone could show me how tio fix this burned bridge..

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 22:02:07

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 20:42:43

I think at this point the best thing to do is wait for her to come back to you. Try to get your life back in order and wait to see what is left of the relationship once her manic episode is clear. How long do her manic episodes tend to last? Is she currently on meds? Is she still in therapy? You also have to realize that you can't continue to put yourself through this. I remember reading somewhere that manic episodes tend to decrease with age and depressive episodes to to increase with age. A book you may want to read is called "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide" It really helped me out when I was diagnosed. You should discuss your concerns with your therapist, who could give you better advice than I can.
Good luck and hang in there... karen

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 22:32:26

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 22:02:07

Thanks for writing Karen,

This is a new thing to me. So how long does her mania last? I'm not really sure. I do know now she was at least 2 weeks into "something" before she lashed out. I found a phone bill where she was calling police.

I will wait for her to come back down. But I realy can't see what can fix this. I'm open to listen, but I doubt it can be repaired. I'm still praying for an alternative to divorce. But I think this is the end. If this is just the begining it will only get worse..the next time. I have read her emails saying she hears things & see people that are not there..claiming to be psychic. I'm afraid she may take things to the next level of being physicaly dangerous to me or the kids. For whatever reason. She claims to "identify" what Andrea Yates went through.

She tells police I killed someone. "What if" she takes her thoughts a step further, by getting physicaly dangerous? This is another concern I should keep in mind.

I do love her and can't wait until we can talk.I hope she will understand. Its going to be a very sad conversation and I hope she can take what she has created.

At this point "if" she gets hospitalized for 6 months for an absolute diagnosis, and we win the lottery so career income would not be of any concern...then maybe I would feel comfortable.Sounds crazy I know it'd never happen.
A direct sign from God of course would change my mind to of course. I've asked God for forgiveness as I do not want to divorce.

If she came down with cancer I surely would not leave her, but this behavior is tramatizing to the whole family. I just hope she does well without me holding her hand through life.

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce. LOVEUMIKO

Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 23:21:10

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 22:32:26

> Thanks for writing Karen,

>You are very welcome! :)


>
I have read her emails saying she hears things & see people that are not there..claiming to be psychic.

>As I look back on it, I too have gone through this. During periods of extreme stress, I have hallucinated, and I was completely convinced that I was psychic. (And I am a very rational and logical person) Now that I am on meds that work for me, I no longer have this problem. I highly doubt that she is taking her medication properly, or that she is on the right dosage. Do you know, is she on an antipsychotic (such as Zyprexa, Seroquel, Abilify, Resperdal). That would stop the hallucinations. She should also be on a mood stabilizer such as lithium, depakote, tegretol, lamictal, or topamax. These are concerns you should take up with her if, and when she is stabilized and back home. You should set certain conditions and limits in no uncertain terms regarding her behavior and your relationship. (ie. I will remain in this relationship and continue to give my support if you continue to take your medication and continue therapy, as well as continue to improve!).

> She tells police I killed someone. "What if" she takes her thoughts a step further, by getting physicaly dangerous? This is another concern I should keep in mind.

>I agree. You have to keep your concerns in mind, as well as her own. But, you can't allow her to destroy your whole family in the process. I'm not saying you should give up. I'm just saying you should set firm boundaries and stick to them.

> I do love her and can't wait until we can talk.I hope she will understand. Its going to be a very sad conversation and I hope she can take what she has created.

>I think that with proper medication and therapy she will be able to deal with everything. The big question right now is will you? Are you ok?

>
> If she came down with cancer I surely would not leave her, but this behavior is tramatizing to the whole family. I just hope she does well without me holding her hand through life.

>You must keep in mind that this too is a disease, much like cancer, only it can be more devistating. I think the important thing right now is stabilizing her right now. Is there a way to contact her therapist and check into getting her involuntarily committed? She may not like it, but in the end it may be the best thing for her. I was actually hospitalized overnight once nad it was a good thing at the time. I realy disliked my therapist at the time, but looking back, I don't hold a grudge at the people who did it. They were concerned about me and did it out of love. Is this an option?


 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 20, 2003, at 0:24:27

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce. LOVEUMIKO, posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 23:21:10


> >As I look back on it, I too have gone through this. During periods of extreme stress, I have hallucinated, and I was completely convinced that I was psychic. (And I am a very rational and logical person) Now that I am on meds that work for me, I no longer have this problem. I highly doubt that she is taking her medication properly, or that she is on the right dosage. Do you know, is she on an antipsychotic (such as Zyprexa, Seroquel, Abilify, Resperdal).

The problem is that she will not admit to having any problem mentaly. She will try to blame it on PTSD (Which im sure adds to it) Post pardem Thyroiditis or anything else that is "Not her fault physically" She was on Resperdal, and abilify. SHe got off both.

We involuntaraly commited her once. She has ben comitted 4 times in the past 6 months. The last one involuntary. SHe was furious. She stopped seeing the Doctor which was a safety net. He & I had open communication through her consent. This was as you suggested part of the deal of me commingback. I wanted meds,therapy, etc.

She seemed pleased that I went on Paxil during the first crisis. I was depressed of course and sought help. I see a Therapist now for this and have been prescribed Welbutrin & Clonopan to get me though the waiting period for the Welbutrin to kick in. It helps but I still cry. Mostly at night when I pray for her.

You should set certain conditions and limits in no uncertain terms regarding her behavior and your relationship. (ie. I will remain in this relationship and continue to give my support if you continue to take your medication and continue therapy, as well as continue to improve!).

>>I think we had tried this the last time. It worked at first. She would not let me administer the meds to her. SHe became very defensive if I asked if she took them that day to. I think you are helping me see things clearer. I have tried and she disabled all safety nets. Then put up the final block...the restraining order.

>
> >I think that with proper medication and therapy she will be able to deal with everything.
I hope so. We had everything going for us. 4 kids, a beautiful home in a nice town, a devoted faithful husband, she did not even have to work if she chose not to. Just stay at home with the kids. I hope when all is gone she will be OK. The Children were taken away and it seems she has no concern for THEIR feelings in this. One is still in Foster care. All this could be eliminated by her in an instant. Just call off the order and this could be done very easy.

thing right now is stabilizing her right now. Is there a way to contact her therapist and check into getting her involuntarily committed?
>> I can only hope she is on some meds and does still have therapy. I can not talk to her doctor.

She is highly inteligent. SHe knows it to. SHe'll even say she is a genius. SHe has read the DSM100 and basically retains all info. She knows exactly what to say & what not to say. he Law only allows involuntary commial if she is suicidal or harmful to others. I guess they don't see this behavioras harmful. She would basically pass any BS test a court doctor would give her.

SO at this point that seems not to be an option. I have no contact with her, nor does anyone in the family. So I have no idea of how she feels now.

She controls the whole mess for now. I'd rather see her come back then to fight back. I can only hope she has a dream,memory, watches a movie...whatever that will trigger her back to reality.

I still don't see how this can be repaired. Not with my career anyway. If I loose that I loose being the provder for the family (she's on SSDI)We will loose the home, and most likely go through another attack.

I guess I'm answering this myself. I need to divorce her. I don't want to do it. I wish her well and I love her. When we do talk, I'll try to explain this to her and hope she can understand.
I dread having to tell her I have to leave her, although I'll always love her. "with all my heart and soul."

 

Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce. LOVEUMIKO

Posted by Dr. Rod on November 20, 2003, at 0:42:58

In reply to Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 19:07:42

Sadly, as heartless as this may sound, you are in good shape to wait out the inevitable... CPS having your kids under these circumstances causes everyone toooooooooo much pain... If that can't be changed, think of the oppotunity you have... The kids are being taken care of (albeit badly), your wife can't be your immediate responsibility when there is an active restraining order, so you can now afford to wait... What I mean by "the inevitable" is you have NOTHING until she overcomes her internal conflicts... We might all be bad at conflict management; being a cop you've heard this story in training... Her mountainous problem is much worse... She must overcome her internal conflict(s) before she can even begin to be effective at normal everyday stuff... If she identifies opinions she holds as truths that don't belong to her, she will begin to shed a big part of her internal conflict... Also, The better she gets at conflict resolution, the better she gets at conflict resolution, etc. etc... Meanwhile, you can go about your business, hoping and praying that this all will be quick, so you can get back to that family you want... I had a gal friend in the past that I adored with much the same story you relate... Several years later, she's still making those excuses why she can't change... Sad, very sad... I wish you better luck than I had...

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce. LOVEUMIKO

Posted by judy1 on November 20, 2003, at 9:42:37

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 20, 2003, at 0:24:27

I felt so bad reading your posts, like Karen I also have bipolar and have created similar havoc when manic. I also 'hated' my husband for forcing me to get help, you have to try and understand the incredible feelings a person gets when manic- it causes you to lose sight of everything you hold dear (family, home, etc.). I wish I could be more optimistic, but in my case the desire to be well had to come from me, it's like a drug addict hitting bottom. All you can do now is to take care of your own health and make sure your children are provided for and wait for her manic episode to end- whether involuntarily or not, what goes up comes down. When she is down (and she agrees to lift the restraining order), only you can decide if you want to come back, and if so what kind of safety net you have in place- e.g. if she begins to get manic again and refuses meds, you will need to have her pdoc hospitalize her. I know how painful this must be for you and you have my sympathy- judy

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce. LOVEUMIKO

Posted by LynneDa on November 20, 2003, at 15:28:47

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 20, 2003, at 0:24:27

Hi! I've been reading your posts and really feel for you. You have a lot to work out and it is complex. I left my husband when his mental illness was too much for me to bear. We were in counseling off & on, together and indidually, for years. I was very co-dependent, thinking I could fix him, take care of him, keep to my vows, etc. But it was hurting me too much, I was becoming dysfunctional and, like you, I was the breadwinner and had to keep my job.

I felt guilty divorcing him - like you said, if it was cancer you wouldn't leave. But I had to for my own health. I am just now (6 years later) starting to deal with the damage and depression being with him caused to my own mental health.

Please take care of yourself. Her care is out of your hands. Is there anyone who can get through to her?

Keep a journal or write her letters (& don't send them for now). If she ever gets to a point where she is stable, she may want to read them to know how you viewed her behaviors and how you felt, what you did about it, etc. It may also help your kids when they are adults to understand what happened, especially if they encounter similar illnesses in themselves. (I pray they won't!)

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It is truly unfair. Take care of YOU! I wish you peace and the beginning of healing!
~ Lynne

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 20, 2003, at 21:19:21

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce. LOVEUMIKO, posted by judy1 on November 20, 2003, at 9:42:37

Thank you all for your responses and support.

Today, I have received an "anonymous" letter from a supposed co-worker asking to try & work things out. I think this letter is a little cry for help. Its too bad she can't come right out and speak to me. I'd love to resolve this if there is some way. If it were signed "JC" I would have felt it was the sign I asked God for to let me know its safe to stay with her, as I spoke to an attorney today. He could see the depression on my face and realized it wasn't something I really wanted to do either.

I've been given some candid professional advice. From a un biased therapist: This will happen again if I go back. I will actually help her by leaving as this may make her realize she needs help. If anything, like everyone says I have to take care of myself, preserve my career so that I can provide for my children...no matter where this ends up.

It hurts like hell to do this. I'm afraid my rational side is winning. I do feel guilty like I'm being selfish by leaving her. I only wish she actually knew how much I really do love her. The thing is I think she does know, and counts on me to shrug this off.

I don't see ANY safety net that'll work. She knows how to disable it quick...get a restraining order forbidding me to contact her in anyway. Yes, even through a 3rd party so I can't have anyone try to talk to her.

We had a wonderful life ahead of us. Like a phoenix rising through the ashes, we had a plan to move to AZ and make a better life out of the tragic first incident. It seems like she self sabotaged the plan to move. It was a done deal. I just came back from an interview and made it. Not now...this has snuffed that and most likely any chance of a transfer as long as we are together. Its a liability issue with my career. It'd be simple if I were a dock worker or something. I doubt she'd even lash out in the manner she does. But then again, if she had her way when she attacks I'd be in jail.

She has told me of past relationships that were "horror shows" and placed complaints on them to. I don't know if those are true stories now, or if they are effecting what is happening currently.

I wish I could just wake up and this be a bad dream. Forgive me, I don't want a divorce, I love you...but, I'll miss you. It just doesn't make sense (crying)


 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by Kara720 on November 21, 2003, at 11:48:45

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 19, 2003, at 19:37:39

I am going to throw my two senses into this one. I am not sure it will help much but hopefully it will in some way. You mentioned that moving to AZ might help with the different surroundings, but honestly I do not think it will change anything. It might for a little while but than things would go back to the way they were, and your wifes problems will not go away. There is something at the core of your wifes problems that has to be addressed, and I am wondering if they could possibly be worse being in an unfamiliar environment. I am 25 and have grown up with a sister who is boarderline personality disorder, and let me tell you from personal experience that moving does not change anything. As it was said already your wife has to be given some sort of medicatin in the correct "cocktail." It must be very difficult for all of your family going through this especially your children. Do you have custody of your children?

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce.

Posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 21, 2003, at 12:30:03

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by Kara720 on November 21, 2003, at 11:48:45

>> I am going to throw my two senses into this one. I am not sure it will help much but hopefully it will in some way. You mentioned that moving to AZ might help with the different surroundings, but honestly I do not think it will change anything.

Thanks for your input. I need all the outside advice I can get.

Well this last outburst has killed any chance of AZ job transfer even if we were to get back together. I was hoping the abundant amount of sunlight would help with any bi-polarness. It was to start a clean slate, and she would not have to feel uncomfortable around the people she dealt with.


>> It might for a little while but than things would go back to the way they were, and your wifes problems will not go away. There is something at the core of your wifes problems that has to be addressed. and I am wondering if they could possibly be worse being in an unfamiliar environment.

TRUE, I know I was taking a chance in the middle of nowhere. It would have been me & her alone...no outside family help, support. I was convinced it'd be OK. I'm blessed in a way it happened here, than out there. The new people unfamiliar with her condition may have very well reacted differently. SHe can present very well (she went to a upscale university for Journalisim)
The AZ move may have been the worst place for this to reoccur.

>> As it was said already your wife has to be given some sort of medicatin in the correct "cocktail."

Yes, I know meds will work. She has to admit first she has a problem. SHe won't that is half the trouble. SHe will look up what the medications are for online. If she has a hint of them for being anti psychotic etc she bugs out over it. She is to proud to admit it. I wish she could confide with me as I do support her, but she won't.

>>Do you have custody of your children?

Well, the good and bad news is that the kids have been placed in custody of Child protective services. They can not release them to me due to her placing a no contact portion of the restraining order on the children as well. SO CPS can not release them to my care. Some are with family, but one 9 yo boy is still lost out there in foster care. I feel this is crushing him the worst.

UPDATE:

Today my wife called me crying. Asked me if I loved her. I sad "Yes, deeply" She said SHE forgives ME!? I explained that we could not talk due to the restraining order. Then she said she never cheated on me? I never mentioned anything of this to her? SO now I'm even more confused what has occured. I know she wants it to stop & go back to normal. I wish this to. But its gotten to the point that I can not take any more "hits" before I sink; Financialy,emotionaly,mentaly, physicaly (due to stress).

Further, she is still taking the stance that SHE forgives ME. Meaning she still beleaves what she has claimed and will not take responsibility for her actions. Step #1 would be I'm sorry, I was confused due to my illness.

I'd be afraid to go back now due to CPS having custody of the kids. They may not feel its a safe place for them. They may think I'm unstable if I go back,again.

 

Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce. LOVEUMIKO

Posted by fallsfall on November 21, 2003, at 15:08:08

In reply to Re: Multi diagnosed wife. Help dont want to divorce., posted by LOVEUMIKO on November 21, 2003, at 12:30:03

I feel strongly that you should put a requirement for the two of you getting back together that she should be in therapy and meds (unless she, you, and her doctor agrees that one or the other isn't necessary). Somehow you have to communicate to her that she HAS to address her problem. Take it slow, and good luck.


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