Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 280540

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Biofeedback guy is history (long)

Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 12:51:51

Biofeedback guy came to talk to me again with just my current week diary and the printout, and without my chart. I guess that's his general practice.

As he started to go over my week, I attempted to convey what I had decided to say in my post above. I had written it down on the homework sheet, but erased it. I didn't want to seem too pushy, more conversational. Perhaps that was a mistake. Maybe I expressed myself poorly and writing it would have been better.

He told me he likes to teach things in the same sequence, even with patients who have had prior relaxation and CBT training. And he seemed disconcerted by my interrupting his routine. Distracted and uncomfortable. In an attempt to be conciliatory, I said that I didn't mean to be difficult. He interrupted me and said that I did indeed mean to be difficult, that I tried to gain power by being difficult.

Well I was surprised at this pronouncement from one who had met me three times and never seemed to remember me from one time to the next. I suppose I shouldn't have been since he pronounced my therapist a narcissist without ever having met him at the first session. So reeling, I rested heavily on my second favorite defense mechanism, intellectualization. I considered what he said, and answered that had I really wished to be difficult I wouldn't have thought long and hard about how to put my concerns in the most polite way. He asked how I would have put my concerns had I not thought about it, and I replied that I would have said that I felt like I was wasting my time being "taught" things I already have spent eight years learning and working on.

We then both stepped back emotionally and he asked some questions about how I thought of my problem. Still in intellectual mode, I answered with descriptions of amygdalas, easy arousal, slow return to baseline, etc. He said he thought I had spent to much time in psychobabble (not this site, the concept). Then he laid out a not unreasonable description of how the biofeedback process might work. Not unreasonable, but very long term. Certainly not eight to ten weeks. Since I'd like to get better I didn't reject the plan, but decided privately to consider it later.

The entire time however, he was still making comments that weren't altogether polite, although not overtly rude. He also seemed annoyed with me.

At the end, I told him that I was getting the sense that he felt some hostility towards me and did he think that he would feel comfortable working with me. He agreed that he felt hostility toward me, but said it was caused by my feelings of hostility towards him. He was having a countertransference reaction to my transference, and it was more a question of did I think I could work with him. He said he thought he was more direct than others have been with me. I replied that he was certainly nothing like my therapist.

TO MY EVERLASTING CREDIT, when he mentioned that his reaction to me was countertransference, I closed my mouth on the reaction that I had already opened it to say. I was opening my mouth to say cooly, and with slightly raised brow, that he really ought to seek supervision to deal with his countertransferential acting out.

Then I went to my car and cancelled the scheduled followup session and asked where to request my records.

So... another major medical center where I have "difficult" marked in my permanent file and I am probably no longer welcome.

Now that is my intellectual reaction. My emotional reaction is to curl up on the floor and cry, because I really am as unlikeable and obnoxious as I feared I was. Biofeedback guy said he was more direct with me than others have been. Maybe my therapist feels just the same way about me but isn't as direct at saying so. Maybe I've missed the less direct messages he's been sending me. If my therapist terminates me I'll never find anyone willing to take me on. If my therapist terminates me, I will never again risk such a reaction and will never ever ever ever ever seek psychological help again. NEVER.

I'm going to do a forgetting sleep now. This post is my way of recording things before they have been wiped clean or at least stripped of their emotional content.

 

Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long)

Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 12:58:42

In reply to Biofeedback guy is history (long), posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 12:51:51

And my therapist/mommy is out of town. :(

I want my mommy!! :(((((

 

Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long) Dinah

Posted by Poet on November 17, 2003, at 14:03:25

In reply to Biofeedback guy is history (long), posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 12:51:51

Dinah,

What a horrid experience, Biofeedback guy was unbelievably unprofessional.

> I said that I didn't mean to be difficult. He interrupted me and said that I did indeed mean to be difficult, that I tried to gain power by being difficult.

I don't think you were being difficult, you were honestly expressing your concerns. It seems to me that he was the one being difficult by being so defensive.

> He agreed that he felt hostility toward me, but said it was caused by my feelings of hostility towards him.

I'm surprised he didn't do the kid thing: I'm rubber and you're glue. You showed amazing restraint by not telling him he needs supervision. Though it sounds like he needs it.

> My emotional reaction is to curl up on the floor and cry, because I really am as unlikeable and obnoxious as I feared I was.

Here on the boards you are likeable, intelligent and caring. Never, ever obnoxious. You've helped me so many times with your insight into therapy and therapists. You and Biofeedback guy just didn't click and that's not your fault.

Sweet dreams

Poet

 

Re: Biofeedback guy is history

Posted by pixygoth on November 17, 2003, at 15:23:53

In reply to Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long) Dinah, posted by Poet on November 17, 2003, at 14:03:25

Poet is right - you sound like a nice person, not horrible at all. I reckon that a lot of people in the health services are so used to people who just passively accept blah blah, that they get really scared of intelligent patients who educate themselves and want some responsibility for what happens to them. Take care,
S

 

Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long)

Posted by crushedout on November 17, 2003, at 15:34:46

In reply to Biofeedback guy is history (long), posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 12:51:51


yeah, i just think you're smart and assertive, and unfortunately, lots of people are threatened/put off by that. you're really smart. and a good writer. although i realize that's neither here nor there.


> Biofeedback guy came to talk to me again with just my current week diary and the printout, and without my chart. I guess that's his general practice.
>
> As he started to go over my week, I attempted to convey what I had decided to say in my post above. I had written it down on the homework sheet, but erased it. I didn't want to seem too pushy, more conversational. Perhaps that was a mistake. Maybe I expressed myself poorly and writing it would have been better.
>
> He told me he likes to teach things in the same sequence, even with patients who have had prior relaxation and CBT training. And he seemed disconcerted by my interrupting his routine. Distracted and uncomfortable. In an attempt to be conciliatory, I said that I didn't mean to be difficult. He interrupted me and said that I did indeed mean to be difficult, that I tried to gain power by being difficult.
>
> Well I was surprised at this pronouncement from one who had met me three times and never seemed to remember me from one time to the next. I suppose I shouldn't have been since he pronounced my therapist a narcissist without ever having met him at the first session. So reeling, I rested heavily on my second favorite defense mechanism, intellectualization. I considered what he said, and answered that had I really wished to be difficult I wouldn't have thought long and hard about how to put my concerns in the most polite way. He asked how I would have put my concerns had I not thought about it, and I replied that I would have said that I felt like I was wasting my time being "taught" things I already have spent eight years learning and working on.
>
> We then both stepped back emotionally and he asked some questions about how I thought of my problem. Still in intellectual mode, I answered with descriptions of amygdalas, easy arousal, slow return to baseline, etc. He said he thought I had spent to much time in psychobabble (not this site, the concept). Then he laid out a not unreasonable description of how the biofeedback process might work. Not unreasonable, but very long term. Certainly not eight to ten weeks. Since I'd like to get better I didn't reject the plan, but decided privately to consider it later.
>
> The entire time however, he was still making comments that weren't altogether polite, although not overtly rude. He also seemed annoyed with me.
>
> At the end, I told him that I was getting the sense that he felt some hostility towards me and did he think that he would feel comfortable working with me. He agreed that he felt hostility toward me, but said it was caused by my feelings of hostility towards him. He was having a countertransference reaction to my transference, and it was more a question of did I think I could work with him. He said he thought he was more direct than others have been with me. I replied that he was certainly nothing like my therapist.
>
> TO MY EVERLASTING CREDIT, when he mentioned that his reaction to me was countertransference, I closed my mouth on the reaction that I had already opened it to say. I was opening my mouth to say cooly, and with slightly raised brow, that he really ought to seek supervision to deal with his countertransferential acting out.
>
> Then I went to my car and cancelled the scheduled followup session and asked where to request my records.
>
> So... another major medical center where I have "difficult" marked in my permanent file and I am probably no longer welcome.
>
> Now that is my intellectual reaction. My emotional reaction is to curl up on the floor and cry, because I really am as unlikeable and obnoxious as I feared I was. Biofeedback guy said he was more direct with me than others have been. Maybe my therapist feels just the same way about me but isn't as direct at saying so. Maybe I've missed the less direct messages he's been sending me. If my therapist terminates me I'll never find anyone willing to take me on. If my therapist terminates me, I will never again risk such a reaction and will never ever ever ever ever seek psychological help again. NEVER.
>
> I'm going to do a forgetting sleep now. This post is my way of recording things before they have been wiped clean or at least stripped of their emotional content.

 

Re: Thanks guys. :-) (nm)

Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 15:44:49

In reply to Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long) Dinah, posted by Poet on November 17, 2003, at 14:03:25

 

Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long)

Posted by tabitha on November 17, 2003, at 16:09:53

In reply to Biofeedback guy is history (long), posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 12:51:51

Sounds like you two just clashed from the beginning. If I remember, you didn't seem to respect him too much from the first session. Maybe he picked up on that despite your effort to use polite language. Not every professional can handle a skeptical client.

I wouldn't be too quick to assume you've been labelled 'difficult' by that entire place. Perhaps this guy has had his share of difficulties with clients. He was awfully quick to pigeonhole your therapist, and analyze your motives. That doesn't exactly broadcast a high degree of interpersonal skill.

 

Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long) Dinah

Posted by Searchlight on November 17, 2003, at 16:49:55

In reply to Biofeedback guy is history (long), posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 12:51:51

Dinah, I agree with the other posters. You are nice, intelligent and helpful. Some therapists are threatened by those who research and try to give themselves insight about their problems. I think it's a real strength to self-educate. Sounds like it did not click with this therapist. That has happened with me too (fortunantly I did not have someone so rude as the therapist you describe). I cancelled the next session and moved on to someone else. In many cases, we know best what we need, and I think you are taking proper care in looking out for yourself. Good luck in finding someone who can give you what you need in therapy. It is one of the many quests we face.

 

Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long) Dinah

Posted by lookdownfish on November 17, 2003, at 16:52:34

In reply to Biofeedback guy is history (long), posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 12:51:51

From what I can gather, you do not seem to be at all obnoxious. I think he sounds like he was scared of your knowledge. I guess it is much more of a challenge dealing with psychologically astute patients, and he was not up to the challenge.

 

Re: You guys are right.

Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 19:01:43

In reply to Re: Biofeedback guy is history (long), posted by tabitha on November 17, 2003, at 16:09:53

The chemistry was bad. He reminded me of the evil Dr. D (and in deference to Dr. Bob I will say that the evil Dr. D probably had at least one or two patients who didn't find him evil), the pdoc from h*ll (ditto).

And I should have known when he insulted my therapist that he wasn't going to have the interpersonal skills to be a decent therapist. Some people seem to use the excuse of being direct as a reason to be rude.

But most of all, I'm sorry I didn't advise him to seek supervision. At least I would have had a funny story to tell from the wreckage of my biofeedback experiment.

(Do you think they have a special page where they write the warnings about patients that don't get copied when you ask for your records? I pick them up Friday.)

 

Re: You guys are right. Dinah

Posted by Poet on November 18, 2003, at 8:59:10

In reply to Re: You guys are right., posted by Dinah on November 17, 2003, at 19:01:43

Dinah,

Health care workers are so swamped, I think they'll just photocopy it and hand it to you without a word.

I once told a former head of dermatology to go back to medical school. I've seen another dermatologist at the same clinic and if my comment is in my records I think he'd have thanked me as the guy I told it to quit a few months later. (lol)

Poet

 

:-) (nm) Poet

Posted by Dinah on November 18, 2003, at 9:27:26

In reply to Re: You guys are right. Dinah, posted by Poet on November 18, 2003, at 8:59:10


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