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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Ginjoint on March 11, 2003, at 9:30:00
...how's it going with your therapist? Still weird, or have things been ironed out a bit?
Ginjoint
Posted by Tabitha on March 12, 2003, at 0:04:49
In reply to Tabitha..., posted by Ginjoint on March 11, 2003, at 9:30:00
Just went back for 1st session since the 'breakup', we talked about all that for about an hour then I did my usual spiel. I guess things are back to normal. It's my life that's weird-- my primary relationship is with a therapist.
Thanks for asking. So do you go to therapy too?
Posted by Ginjoint on March 12, 2003, at 7:51:49
In reply to Re: Tabitha..., posted by Tabitha on March 12, 2003, at 0:04:49
Glad to hear that things are back to "normal" with your doc...did she have any insights on what happened?
In my so-called life my primary relationship is with my pdoc, so I join you in that bit of strangeness. I feel very close to her. Unfortunately, she's been on maternity leave for the last several weeks, and it has been...well, not good.
While being gone and unreachable for five weeks following the birth of her baby, my brain decided to go through its worst downswing in months....:( I've been very very suicidal.
She did come into the office two weeks ago and I saw her. She gave me some new meds (Lexapro) which seem to be having an effect...since I've been on it, I called an animal shelter to do volunteer work. I also called several places for work, two of which want me to come in to talk, and others encouraged me to fax my resume for consideration in about a month (it's the slow time of year in my industry). Yay!! This is a big freakin' deal for me, as I've been out of work for three years and on disability for several months. Anyway, I see her again on Tuesday, then it's another two weeks until she's back regularly.
I have to say, Tabitha, I've been surprised and ashamed of how jealous and left out I feel with her. I had a difficult time throughout her pregnancy, and it has been...very desolate. She's been totally understanding, but the facts of the situation are still there.
So, you asked if I was in therapy? <snicker> I know this answer is more than you bargained for, but thanks for giving me an excuse to type some of it out.
Ginjoint
Posted by Tabitha on March 13, 2003, at 1:19:28
In reply to Re: Tabitha..., posted by Ginjoint on March 12, 2003, at 7:51:49
not too much answer at all, I was just kind of fishing. Therapy is such a cloistered private undertaking-- this is the only place I get to hear much about other people's therapy.
No wonder you're upset, if your pdoc/therapist has become sort of a maternal figure to you and she has a new baby. Isn't it the standard reaction to the new sibling? I'm the youngest in my family so I don't know from experience.
After this whole conflict with mine I'm questioning the whole setup (again). At times I feel all I'm doing is paying someone to give me attention and support, because I don't have enough of that in 'real' relationships. My therapist is a better listener than anyone I know, and is the most enduring relationship I've ever had, so it usually seems like a good purchase.
Posted by bozeman on March 14, 2003, at 21:49:53
In reply to Re: GJ..., posted by Tabitha on March 13, 2003, at 1:19:28
Hello ladies!
I just wanted to say that neither of you is alone regarding the motherhood-or-not, coupled-or-not, am-I-making-too-big-a-deal-of-this-or-not, then-why-can't-I-drop-it? problem. I've just been too tired and sick to post much lately, but I feel so much empathy and kinship with both of you. No one in my (non-cyber) life is going through these stages of life but me -- all are either lost in toddler-land or confirmed divorcees. It's not cool to see someone else suffering with the same life-issues, but it is at least good to know that none of us are crazy for it, or alone in it.
Just wanted to share that. Thanks for listening.
bozeman
Posted by Tabitha on March 15, 2003, at 3:15:14
In reply to Tabitha and Ginjoint, posted by bozeman on March 14, 2003, at 21:49:53
Hi Bozeman, I'm glad you're feeling up to posting. I think I very nearly qualify as a 'confirmed divorcee' though. Except for the occasional impulse towards a fling with a young service sector employee, I'm chronically single, and most definitely child-free. I wish all my coupled-up friends would break up and have more time for me.
Posted by Ginjoint on March 15, 2003, at 16:18:03
In reply to Tabitha and Ginjoint, posted by bozeman on March 14, 2003, at 21:49:53
Hi bozeman....
Thanks for your post. It's a double-edged Exacto knife -- not only am I (shamefully enough) jealous of my pdoc's new kid, but I'm also jealous that my pdoc got pregnant in the first damn place. Shame! Shame everywhere! Whoo hoo! And loneliness and desolation! Par-TAY!!
Speaking of shame, it's a shame we can't get each other pregnant, you know?
Be well, boze....I'm thinkin' boucha.
Ginjoint
Posted by bozeman on March 16, 2003, at 4:31:18
In reply to Re: Tabitha and Ginjoint » bozeman, posted by Tabitha on March 15, 2003, at 3:15:14
So, you just want to have a fling with the video store guy, not keep him, huh? Catch and release, is that what they call it these days?
<grin>Posting, yes, but I can't keep a complex thought together yet. I am refusing to even contemplate sentence structure. Probably posting more fragments than anything else. Goes with the high fever territory, I suppose.
Aren't cutesie couples just the *worst* thing in the world? If I had back all my previously single friends, I probably wouldn't care if I never got married again, either. Around here it's considered a social disease for a "young" woman to not at least *want* to be coupled. Not like I've ever really cared what people think. I just want them to shut up about what I should do with my life and let me take care of it myself. I wonder how cool the world might be if people would mind their own business instead of everyone else's?
Good luck with your catch and release program . . . hope the video store clerk turns out to be interesting!
<wink>
bozeman
Posted by bozeman on March 16, 2003, at 4:42:58
In reply to Re: Tabitha and Ginjoint » bozeman, posted by Ginjoint on March 15, 2003, at 16:18:03
Hi Ginjoint
Have been turning over the artificial insemination thing in my mind for several years. The big problem is, then I'd be raising a kid by myself, and me with my high-stress-long-hours job. Not good. For the kid's sake, if not for my own, I'd rather have a "father" in the picture. Then, some days, I think the only way I'd want a kid was if the "father" (donor) had no rights to tell me what to do raising the kid. Such is the convoluted path of that double-edged knife. (You have no idea how funny that image is to me! Something like Jackie Chan meets my high-school biology class.)
But like you, I have to take one day at a time. Especially now, since I can seldom think farther than the end of the day. Got freaked out earlier reading on MSN about that new respiratory disease that they can't find cause or cure for, that's sometimes fatal and very communicable, since I've had this crud for going on four weeks now and just can't shake it. Then I decided if I die, then I won't care any more! If I don't, then it's no problem! Kind of weirdly obvious but true.
Anyway, thanks for the encouragement, I need it right now. Mentally in a (seemingly) pretty good place -- but then, I'm feverish, what do I know? There's an answer for us, I know there is, we just haven't found it yet.
Peace, my friend --
bozeman
This is the end of the thread.
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