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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Quintal on November 14, 2008, at 18:38:30
It's been ten years today since my mother died. I can hardly believe so much time has passed. I haven't exactly done anything that would have made her proud in that time. It makes me wonder what my life would have been like if she'd been there to see me grow up. I was 15 when she was diagnosed and felt all grown up and worldly wise. I've just been looking through a diary I kept at that time. I can hardly imagine it is the same person.
"Mam was told cancer was terminal today. Came home and she cried as she was hanging up her coat. I'll never forget her face that day. We cried for ages. Grandma was upset, her eyes were red, but was pretending that everything was okay, concentrating on putting shopping away. I felt sick and had a headache. Felt ill. Wore off later on night. She told me to do the best for myself, always "You'll hear this little voice saying this years later and you'll think "Oh man, she's still at it!".
I don't know whether I have accepted it, or am just numb. Have an urge to just get on with life and pretend it isn't happening. Feel a bit guilty for this.
Posted by Quintal on November 14, 2008, at 18:51:36
In reply to Memorial - It's been ten years!, posted by Quintal on November 14, 2008, at 18:38:30
Oh well. I wanted to add something about the book "The Loss That Is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father". I'm looking forward to reading it. I think I might have underestimated the effect her death had on me. We don't really talk about it and I can't say I feel much grief any more. It's more about the effect your parents have on shaping your life, being there for support, and what happens to you when it isn't there. My dad and I aren't close, and it was pretty much like being orphaned when I lost my mother. I'm looking forward to the book.
Q
Posted by zenhussy on November 16, 2008, at 12:04:02
In reply to and I sent it before I was finished...., posted by Quintal on November 14, 2008, at 18:51:36
the book was very helpful given that we've lost both parents before our fourth decade on this planet.....one early in childhood and the other just a year ago.
not really awake to formulate an intelligent response but wanted to let you know your words were read, taken in, and moved us deeply. Thank you for sharing them here.
please take care and hope you will be able to find some comfort in the book. we certainly did.
Posted by Quintal on November 17, 2008, at 15:35:28
In reply to Re: and I sent it before I was finished.... » Quintal, posted by zenhussy on November 16, 2008, at 12:04:02
Thanks zen, the book came today. I don't have much time to read at the moment, but I've liked what I've seen leafing through it. Some powerful images from Eli Weizel on loss of faith and loss of innocence. I think it will be very good.
Q
Posted by zenhussy on November 19, 2008, at 11:00:24
In reply to Re: and I sent it before I was finished.... » zenhussy, posted by Quintal on November 17, 2008, at 15:35:28
Q--Please do check back in *when* you're able. Harris' book has been one of the more heavily used ones on the shelf here for info. and comfort.
Wishing you some relief from any pain when facing anything this aspect of your past (and somehow it is always part of the present too). May this book bring some understanding and peace to your journey.
-z
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