Psycho-Babble Faith Thread 1044244

Shown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday

Posted by Lamdage22 on May 26, 2013, at 6:02:25

Hi Folks,

im about as low as i can get. When i lie in bed in the morning, i feel like id rather die than to face the days chores.

I have schizo-affective disorder and am on 100mg Seroquel.
I took Zyprexa yesterday because i felt very anti-social..

I need some help.

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday Lamdage22

Posted by Tomatheus on May 26, 2013, at 17:14:34

In reply to Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 26, 2013, at 6:02:25

Lamdage,

I feel for you. I don't know for sure if I've ever felt exactly the way that you've been feeling, but there have definitely been times when I've felt like I've lost the will to live. Usually for me, it was when my treatments weren't working well and when my ability to carry out my daily activities was at its lowest.

I think that a big part of the reason why I haven't been feeling like I've lost my will to live lately is because I've found a treatment in the form of a supplement that has made living at least some semblance of a normal life possible. It took me many years to find this treatment, and there's still no guarantee that it will continue to benefit me indefinitely, but what's important is that my response to this treatment indicates that improvement (even though it may seem small) is possible. And I think that improvement is most likely possible for you, as well. How long it may take for you to see some improvement and how it might happen are not things that I know, but I think that improvement is something that can happen for you. Unfortunately, with the available mental health treatments only being so advanced, improvement oftentimes doesn't happen right away, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. However, I have read enough success stories from patients with schizoaffective disorder and related illnesses to know some patients do improve and that even though we may go through some periods in which we will feel like life isn't worth living, those periods can be temporary, even if they last for longer than we'd like for them to.

So, to close, I'd like to say that I'm sorry that you're feeling the way that you're feeling right now. It sounds like you are indeed at a low point, but I don't think that this low point will last indefinitely, and one thing that's helped me in the past is at least having a little bit of hope that things can and will change for the better. I'd also like to encourage you to reach out to others around you who you feel comfortable talking to. Sometimes it helps to get a different perspective and to know that somebody else is concerned about your future and is trying to help out in any way possible.

I hope that the days and weeks ahead will bring you some improvement. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

T.

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday

Posted by Lamdage22 on May 28, 2013, at 4:51:04

In reply to Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 26, 2013, at 6:02:25

Thanks Thomatheus...

Im a little better. I will see if i stay here or change hospitals.

Im not sure how serious they take the depressive side of my schizo-affective here.

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday

Posted by Lamdage22 on May 28, 2013, at 5:45:28

In reply to Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 26, 2013, at 6:02:25

I dont have so many friends to reach out to that show care..

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday Lamdage22

Posted by Tomatheus on May 28, 2013, at 12:32:43

In reply to Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 28, 2013, at 5:45:28

> I dont have so many friends to reach out to that show care..

I understand. I don't really have any friends, either. And it can be particularly difficult to find someone to talk to when you're in a hospital, at least from my experience. I know that one time when I was hospitalized I told the staff that I just needed to talk to someone, and they ended up directing me to an after-hours psychiatrist who didn't know anything about my case and didn't seem to be at all comforting. Unfortunately, when we're hospitalized, sometimes just being patient until we can at least talk to the professionals who understand our case the best is one of the only things we can do. Our options as psychiatric patients tend to be limited when we're in a hospital, and that can tend to lead to feelings of hopelessness along with feelings of meaninglessness and lack of purpose, so if you have trouble adopting a positive short-term outlook when you have limited options in a hospital, it might be helpful to acknowledge that your hospital stay will likely only be temporary and that even though things may not seem so pleasant right now that they might improve after you're discharged from the hospital.

As far as having problems with getting the depressive aspect of your schizoaffective disorder treated when you're hospitalized is concerned, I do think that that can be a problem. I think that depressive symptoms can oftentimes be less visible than manic symptoms, psychotic symptoms, or outward feelings of anxiety, and I also think that a lot of mental health professionals have a tendency to only treat the symptoms that seem to be the most visible to them. This may lead to an under-treatment of depressive symptoms, especially when other symptoms are present, and especially when you're in a hospital where the focus tend to be more on "stabilizing" patients than on getting them well. All I can recommend that is that you communicate your symptoms, especially those that aren't the most visible, to your doctors as clearly as possible, so they can be aware of the symptoms of yours that might not be so obvious to them. I know that being an effective communicator can be compromised by strong depressive symptoms and sometimes even by antipsychotic medications (especially when they're taken at higher doses), but somehow you've got to get your point across to your treatment professionals as effectively as you can.

At any rate, I'm glad that you seemed to be doing at least a little bit better as of earlier today, and I hope that your condition will improve some more and that the staff at the hospital you're staying at will give you the care that you need until they feel that it's time to discharge you. In the meantime, please feel free to keep posting here if you feel like you need some support. I wish you the best.

T.

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday

Posted by Lamdage22 on May 30, 2013, at 12:15:12

In reply to Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday Lamdage22, posted by Tomatheus on May 28, 2013, at 12:32:43

Thanks Tomatheus,

you are good support. The seroquel at 200 seems to be doing its job alright. I plan to add low dose Lithium.
And i will see if they prescribe the Aurorix or not. Venlafaxine interacts with another med i may or may take in the future..

I plan to treat my remaining symptoms as bipolar depression.
Looking at NAC, Fish Oil and low dose lithium and perhaps a low dose of T3 thyroid. With an informed doctor and monthly blood/urine tests.

Maybe its better for me to leave serotonin alone? Idk. But i want to go for Aurorix if anything..

I have gotten back into the bodybuilding hobby.

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday Lamdage22

Posted by Tomatheus on May 30, 2013, at 13:07:19

In reply to Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 30, 2013, at 12:15:12

Lamdage,

Thank you for the message. I'm glad to hear that the Seroquel that you're taking seems to be helping some, that you may try some other medications and/or supplements, and especially that you've gotten back into your bodybuilding hobby. It sounds like you're seeing some improvement already, and I hope that things will continue to go at least as well for you as they've been going for you.

Best of luck to you!

T.

 

I think i was raped as a kid and i want to kill my

Posted by Lamdage22 on June 3, 2013, at 0:19:10

In reply to Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 26, 2013, at 6:02:25

(.......)

 

self (nm)

Posted by Lamdage22 on June 3, 2013, at 0:19:43

In reply to I think i was raped as a kid and i want to kill my, posted by Lamdage22 on June 3, 2013, at 0:19:10

 

depressed like a mothafucka (nm)

Posted by Lamdage22 on June 3, 2013, at 1:10:42

In reply to self (nm), posted by Lamdage22 on June 3, 2013, at 0:19:43

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday Lamdage22

Posted by SLS on June 3, 2013, at 7:20:46

In reply to Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 26, 2013, at 6:02:25

Does it help for you to know that your brain's hardware is intact enough for you to respond to treatment? You might not be responding satisfactorily to your present drug regime, but I feel optimistic that you will find one. In the meantime, I encourage you to continue reaching out to others as you have done here. If you are a spiritual being, perhaps you can reach out to your higher power for love and the strength to persevere.

Do you experience anxiety during any phase of your illness? Is it considered bipolar-type? If so, is Xanax helpful during your manic phase? I see in other people with schizoaffective disorder that if you can prevent the mania, you interrupt the sequence in such a way as to promote mental health.

Hang in there.

I can't guarantee you immediate success, but I encourage you not to succumb to choosing permanent failure.

I'll pray for the both of us.

Take care of yourself, Lamdage.


- Scott

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday

Posted by SLS on June 3, 2013, at 11:53:41

In reply to Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 30, 2013, at 12:15:12

> But i want to go for Aurorix if anything..

As a reversible MAOI, moclobemide (Aurorex; Mannerix) is not nearly as effective for long-term treatment as are the irreversible MAOIs: Parnate, Marplan, and Nardil. Moclobemide often produces an improvement in the first week at a dosage of 150 mg/day. However, this rarely lasts, and necessitates progressive dose escalation up to the maximum 1200 mg/day in a desperate attempt to maintain a therapeutic response.


- Scott

 

Re: depressed like a m*thaf*cka Lamdage22

Posted by Tomatheus on June 4, 2013, at 0:28:43

In reply to depressed like a mothafucka (nm), posted by Lamdage22 on June 3, 2013, at 1:10:42

Lamdage,

I'm very sorry to hear that you're feeling depressed and have been having thoughts of taking your life. And I can only imagine how traumatized you must feel, given what you wrote about thinking that you were raped as a child. Given the feelings that you seem to be experiencing, I would highly recommend reaching out for professional assistance at this point. I feel for you, and I think that you would probably benefit from talking to both a therapist and a psychiatrist right now (or at least soon) so you can get the peace of mind that you need. I think that you can get past this, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, but please seek out the counsel of a qualified professional, especially if you're still having the thoughts of taking your life.

T.

 

Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday Lamdage22

Posted by SLS on June 4, 2013, at 14:47:20

In reply to Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday, posted by Lamdage22 on May 26, 2013, at 6:02:25

I agree with Tomatheus. You need more support than you are currently receiving. This bad time will pass, but it would be so much less painful were you to utilize the psychiatric and psychotherapeutic resources available to you.

I don't know your personal history. Tomatheus made mention of sexual abuse. A childhood history of repeated traumas or neglect can set one up for mental illness later in life. Trauma causes the brain to react by reducing the number of neurons in structures normally activated by the trauma. There is actually a thinning of tissue - whether it be in the hippocampus, prefrontal cortex, or amygdala. My doctor has found that prazosin, an old drug used for hypertension and PTSD, can produce robust results in such cases. For me, it produces a significant antidepressant effect when combined with the other drugs I take.

You have treatment and support options, but you will have to accept that you will feel bad for just a little while longer.

You have friends here.


- Scott

 

Im in a private hospital now (nm)

Posted by Lamdage22 on June 13, 2013, at 14:20:10

In reply to Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday Lamdage22, posted by SLS on June 4, 2013, at 14:47:20

 

Thanks for your responses! (nm)

Posted by Lamdage22 on June 13, 2013, at 14:22:32

In reply to Re: Feeling like id rather die than to face anotherday Lamdage22, posted by SLS on June 4, 2013, at 14:47:20

 

Re: Im in a private hospital now Lamdage22

Posted by Tomatheus on June 13, 2013, at 17:23:56

In reply to Im in a private hospital now (nm), posted by Lamdage22 on June 13, 2013, at 14:20:10

Lamdage,

I'm glad to hear that you're in a safe place. I hope that the staff at the hospital that you're at will do a good job of tending to your needs, and I hope that this stay will turn out to be beneficial for you.

Please feel free to continue to seek support here at Psycho-Babble. I'll continue to pull for you.

T.

 

Re: Im in a private hospital now

Posted by Lamdage22 on June 14, 2013, at 5:21:00

In reply to Re: Im in a private hospital now Lamdage22, posted by Tomatheus on June 13, 2013, at 17:23:56

Thanks Tomatheus. Its a professor of psychiatry.. so he should do a good job. I am speaking to him in the next hour and will present a timeline of meds i have taken and outcomes.

That way i hope to get the help i need.

 

Re: Im in a private hospital now Lamdage22

Posted by Tomatheus on June 14, 2013, at 21:04:19

In reply to Re: Im in a private hospital now, posted by Lamdage22 on June 14, 2013, at 5:21:00

Lamdage,

How did your appointment with the psychiatry professor go?

I hope that all is going as well as possible with you, given the circumstances.

T.

 

Re: Im in a private hospital now

Posted by Lamdage22 on June 15, 2013, at 11:58:33

In reply to Re: Im in a private hospital now Lamdage22, posted by Tomatheus on June 14, 2013, at 21:04:19

> Lamdage,
>
> How did your appointment with the psychiatry professor go?

Good, he upped seroquel from 200 to 400.

> I hope that all is going as well as possible with you, given the circumstances.
>
> T.

Thanks

 

Re: Im in a private hospital now Lamdage22

Posted by Tomatheus on June 15, 2013, at 13:27:38

In reply to Re: Im in a private hospital now, posted by Lamdage22 on June 15, 2013, at 11:58:33

Lamdage,

Thank you for replying. I wish you luck with the higher dose of Seroquel, and I hope that the rest of your hospital stay will be a pleasant one.

T.


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