![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by luvinmomofone1 on May 6, 2008, at 15:23:20
my son is almost 18 and all we do is fight and fight , i have a mental disablity and he has depression and we are both on meds but he dropped out of school got his ged..with high grades i might add and is working full time at fast food. waiting to turn 18 so he can get a better job that pays more and has benefits. he wants out on his own but cannot afford it at this time and i want him out cause i am tired of fighting all the time. hes my son and my best friend, hes my only child and we have always been very very close. that closeness has turned to codependency mostly on my part and its part of the reason we fight i think. i dont want him ot leave and i dont wanna be alone . i know hes gotta be a man and get out on his own but i cant stand thinking about it...it hurts so much i cry everytime i think about it. i am trying to cut those invisible apron strings but i am not doign a good job. last fight we got into i got so enraged i punched him in the jaw. i felt so ashamed afterwards cause i am a survivor and now i feel like an abuser which i NEVER want to be. it seems like the fights escalate more and more everytime we fight. sometimes i feel like i am getting out of control and i dont like that. since last august i have dealt with losing someone very close to me to death and losing my father to a disownment on his part, a car accident, a lousy and hatefull, stressful trip to see my dad before the disownment and now this fighting with my son. in a way i will be glad to be alone but i am afraid to be lonely. sorry for the ramble.. i dont mean to rant
Posted by karen_kay on May 13, 2008, at 11:17:41
In reply to my son and me fight all the time!, posted by luvinmomofone1 on May 6, 2008, at 15:23:20
WOWZA! you've had a very rough year! please be sure to be kind to yourself hun. and cut yourself some slack! i'm serious!!!
about your son: wowza again! it seems like the whole environment is stressful, for both of you! first off, congratulate yourself for raising a wonderful man!!!!! (is he single? :)
it's hard work beign a parent, and i have a feeling it gets even harder as they start to grow up and turn into men or women. i have a son, who jsut turned 2. and we aren't planning on having any more (seriously! cross your fingers for me. jst one is plenty!). i can imagine how very dependant you've become on him, adn the same for him. i don't have any practical advice to give you hun. i wish i did! i wish ihad all the answers, but i don't. i do think it's very importan tthat when you two are in the midst of a fight or argument, that you give yourself some space and time to relax, instead of continue fighting. it's hard in the moment, i know. but, you have to work on you, to be the best parent you can be dear.
please, be kind to yourself. and realize that kids grow up and become their own person. you don't have to fight with him. instead, set an exampel by walkign away.
please take care of yourself hun. you've had a rough year. i think everyone can agree with that. jstu remember, walkign away from a fight sets a good example for your child (well, young man, i guess?). hopefully, in the future, when he's faced with the same situation, he'll follow your lead.
take care hun.
kk
Posted by karen_kay on May 13, 2008, at 11:19:44
In reply to my son and me fight all the time!, posted by luvinmomofone1 on May 6, 2008, at 15:23:20
and please don't beat yourself up over past events. i think we do things, so we are able to learn from them. just learn from your past, rather than carrying baggage with you everyday hun.
we all make mistakes or regret things we've done. i guess the best example we can set for our children is to learn from our past mistakes. and don't carry guilt with you.
i think that's a pretty good thing to learn, don't you?
take care of yourself hun!
kk
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Parents | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.