Psycho-Babble Parents Thread 596932

Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school

Posted by muffled on January 8, 2006, at 23:08:54

I think he has anxiety problems. He's been to ent Dr. and had a barium swallow for reflux but came back negative.
I'm gonna try and make him go tomorrow. Its breaking my heart to do this and see him cry. This is just not the way he normally is. He's normally calm and compliant.
:-(
I feel so bad for him.
:-(
Like its my fault cuz I'm nuts.
I love my kids so much.
:-(
Muffled.

 

Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school » muffled

Posted by Dinah on January 9, 2006, at 16:36:02

In reply to My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school, posted by muffled on January 8, 2006, at 23:08:54

It's not your fault, but there very well might be something going on. Is he experiencing bullying? Is a teacher being rough on him?

If he won't talk to you, is there any chance of him seeing a counselor?

Kids don't usually get school phobic all of a sudden unless something going on. It happened with me when I started getting bullied.

 

Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school

Posted by lynn971 on January 9, 2006, at 19:45:02

In reply to Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school » muffled, posted by Dinah on January 9, 2006, at 16:36:02

I totally agree that it is not your fault. It may be that he is being bullied. Maybe you could make an appt. with his teacher(s).

 

THX lynn,dinah

Posted by muffled on January 9, 2006, at 22:26:14

In reply to Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school, posted by lynn971 on January 9, 2006, at 19:45:02

He went today. Did ok. Missed 5 days. Dunno why. I've talked to him and he has no answers. I have a meeting woth principal, learning assistance teacher, and his classroom teacher on Thurs. I'm trying to get the school to get him tested (its expensive) for learning disability. I think that may be a source of his anxiety. He suffers from nausea as well. Dunno if thATS anxiety or something physical cuz he even has it a bit in the summmer, but less so.
He could proly use a child psychologist, but how do you find someone trustworthy?
You hear the odd bad story.
Loving someone is hard.
Muffled

 

Re: THX lynn,dinah » muffled

Posted by Dinah on January 10, 2006, at 18:06:21

In reply to THX lynn,dinah, posted by muffled on January 9, 2006, at 22:26:14

The school counselor might be able to give a recommendation. We found my son's fabulous play therapist through my therapist. It was the only good recommendation he's ever given me. :)

I've seen huge changes in my son in a relatively short period of time. I think he just needed someone on the outside to give him a few different ways of thinking about things.

 

Re: school psychologist

Posted by lynn971 on January 11, 2006, at 22:12:33

In reply to THX lynn,dinah, posted by muffled on January 9, 2006, at 22:26:14

Some schools have a pyschologist. If he has a learning disability, most likely he does not want to be at school. I have seen this over and over again. (I am a teacher). Our school screens students for learning disabilities. It is a free screening.

Luv ya,
Lynn

 

THX guys...

Posted by muffled on January 12, 2006, at 9:26:55

In reply to Re: school psychologist, posted by lynn971 on January 11, 2006, at 22:12:33

Have meeting today at school. He missed a couple more days but went yesterday.
Sigh.
Yeah I can ask my T re: T for son.
I hope the school will fund testing.
Guess I'll find out.
Thanks for replys,ideas
Makes me feel better.
Muffled

 

Re: THX guys...

Posted by gee on January 30, 2006, at 22:33:29

In reply to THX guys..., posted by muffled on January 12, 2006, at 9:26:55

Muffy, you're in BC, and in BC it's all funded. Each school has a psychologist that comes in a least once a week, and a social worker about the same amount. Check it out. Also, see if you can get your son into the in school mentoring with Big Brothers and Sisters. It seems to help a lot of kids

 

Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school

Posted by muffled on January 30, 2006, at 22:43:41

In reply to My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school, posted by muffled on January 8, 2006, at 23:08:54

Thanks Gee.
I have some concerns re: the districts psychologist.
He's back in school, yaaay.
Still goto get some medical testing done.
Somethings not right with him, just not sure what.
Scares me.
Mebbe its just me being stupid.
Or my effect upon my children :-(
My 6 yr old asks me 'mom, why don't you smile?'
F*ck anyways.............
They don't tell you this when you have kids.
How much you love them and care about them.
It hurts.
Its so hard.
I'm inconsistant.
:-(
Muffled

 

Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school » muffled

Posted by fairywings on February 6, 2006, at 18:11:52

In reply to Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school, posted by muffled on January 30, 2006, at 22:43:41

Hey muffy,

Did you ever figure out what was going on with your son?

Our older son did that in 1st/2nd grade. In first grade his teacher was an old croan who was not good with boys. Our son has ADD and CAPD, and was having attentional problems, but not a behavior issue, as you'd think from the way she talked. I went and observed a couple of times, and she had no control, and several students who could have used some help. Anyway, we tried OT, and that didn't work.

In 2nd grade his teacher very gently suggested an ADD eval, and he has it, so we finally got him on ADD meds, and it's made all the difference in the world for him. Good grade, good attention, likes school. He's still senstive and more of a student than he is athletic, but he's much happier.

fw

 

Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school » fairywings

Posted by Jost on August 27, 2006, at 12:17:53

In reply to Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school » muffled, posted by fairywings on February 6, 2006, at 18:11:52

Hi, muffy.

How are your kids?
I'm sorry you don't smile. :(

but you do write great. :)

Maybe you're not the perfect, June Cleever-mom, but I bet you;re a great mom, in your way.

You love your kids. They love you. They know you love them.
You do your best, give them your best.

the rest is..... ?.... &&&...

(See I do like how you write %?--but I won't try to steal it, promise-- not that I could.)


Jost

 

Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school

Posted by Vickielp on March 8, 2008, at 16:54:21

In reply to My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school, posted by muffled on January 8, 2006, at 23:08:54

I'm so sorry this is happening. My family and I are also dealing with this with my 12 yo daughter. Sometimes I go out to my car, blast my music, sing, cry and scream! It does make you angry, sad, helpless, etc. We are doing medicine trials, but they are either too stimulating or sedating. She has not been to school since August. My husband and I also have depression, (controlled by meds, both).
We are going to family therapy at Duke Univ. in Durham, NC. It's helping some. I can't tell you not to feel like it's your fault, because I feel that way, too. She had the stomach pains, etc., and we thought she was faking. We would drag her in to school, because as the day went on, she would get better, but she started to go to the media center and look out the window all day. At that point, we took her out of school and started treatment. The school has someone meet her 2x a week at the bookstore, and she does schoolwork for 1 hour. It gets her out of the house, and into a relaxing environment. We are also volunteering at the SPCA, it really brings her out of her shell, and she feels good about herself. If you'd like to talk, my email is vickielp@hotmail.com

 

Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school » Vickielp

Posted by fairywings on March 19, 2008, at 17:51:37

In reply to Re: My 9 yr old doesn't wanto goto school, posted by Vickielp on March 8, 2008, at 16:54:21

> I'm so sorry this is happening. My family and I are also dealing with this with my 12 yo daughter. Sometimes I go out to my car, blast my music, sing, cry and scream! It does make you angry, sad, helpless, etc. We are doing medicine trials, but they are either too stimulating or sedating. She has not been to school since August. My husband and I also have depression, (controlled by meds, both).
> We are going to family therapy at Duke Univ. in Durham, NC. It's helping some. I can't tell you not to feel like it's your fault, because I feel that way, too. She had the stomach pains, etc., and we thought she was faking. We would drag her in to school, because as the day went on, she would get better, but she started to go to the media center and look out the window all day. At that point, we took her out of school and started treatment. The school has someone meet her 2x a week at the bookstore, and she does schoolwork for 1 hour. It gets her out of the house, and into a relaxing environment. We are also volunteering at the SPCA, it really brings her out of her shell, and she feels good about herself. If you'd like to talk, my email is vickielp@hotmail.com

Hi vicki,

I agree, you just never know what's going on. I so regret not pulling our son out of school when he was in 1st grade. Every day I'd take him to school - he'd cry and beg not to go, but for this reason and that he went.

Now, he's in 5th grade, and I see the ramifications of our decision. He's a great kid - very sensitive, very loving, and caring toward others, but he has ADD and CAPD, and the school is an open concept. His first grade teacher was less than helpful, and there were negative behavioral things going on w/in the school which were covered up which the parents weren't made aware of.

We home schooled our older kids (who also have ADD) and they have done exceptionally well. Our 5th grader hates school, loves his friends, but is just so fed up.

IMO, sometimes we can just do a better job of caring for and educating our kids at home. I feel we're better able to nurture his fine points and bring out all that is good and exceptional in him - which the school is just incapable of doing.

Good luck with yours - don't give up - we do meds, and have an awesome doc! Animals are also so wonderful - we have a great companion/dog. Our son is really into reptiles - which I never would have figured! But whenever there's something he really takes an interest in, I try to jump on it.

fw



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