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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 65 to 89 of 308. Go back in thread:
Posted by Justherself54 on July 8, 2010, at 19:42:55
In reply to :-( I feel bad now, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 18:46:36
I'm sorry if my post hurt and upset you. That was never my intention. I hope you know I'd never do anything that would make you feel badly.
Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 22:03:51
In reply to :-( I feel bad now, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 18:46:36
I'm sorry, Deneb. I didn't wish to make you feel bad either. Though i wouldn't really like it at babble, it was Dr Bob I was upset with.
Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 22:14:44
In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' » jade k, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 8, 2010, at 18:36:37
> Unfortunately, this here ain't no fictional "Lake Wobeher"; we are real people. Weak, bad looking, and below average? So we're being told. Ouch!
>
>To be entirely fair to Dr Bob, I don't think he meant to insult Babblers. I think he meant those who didn't like the idea were being unduly negative about Babblers. If any incivility was intended it was to us. I prefer to think that Dr Bob was intending something else than incivility.
Of course, I disagree with the underlying point, since if his view of us is so positive, then he considers our contributions helpful.
Which they are, as long as they are well intended. Caring enough to reply is helpful. I thought Dr Bob himself said as much when encouraging us to welcome newcomers or respond to unresponded posts. Which confuses me about his current stance.
Posted by fayeroe on July 9, 2010, at 0:22:35
In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late', posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 22:14:44
>
> > Unfortunately, this here ain't no fictional "Lake Wobeher"; we are real people. Weak, bad looking, and below average? So we're being told. Ouch!
> >
> >
>
> To be entirely fair to Dr Bob, I don't think he meant to insult Babblers. I think he meant those who didn't like the idea were being unduly negative about Babblers. If any incivility was intended it was to us. I prefer to think that Dr Bob was intending something else than incivility.
>
> Of course, I disagree with the underlying point, since if his view of us is so positive, then he considers our contributions helpful.
>
> Which they are, as long as they are well intended. Caring enough to reply is helpful. I thought Dr Bob himself said as much when encouraging us to welcome newcomers or respond to unresponded posts. Which confuses me about his current stance.There probably isn't any way I can say this without being blocked...........
In my years and years of being here, I've seen very little in the way of humor in administration. I have looked and waited...........no funny bone there that I can see.
I was (and still am) dismayed by his posting what he did. I didn't think it was very funny if he was joking. Of course I would NEVER presume to know what goes on in there.......
I took it up to my level and gave him a PBC. I felt that his post was uncivil because it was upsetting to Babble posters. I feel that if we can be called uncivil for a lot less than that.....the MAN could be uncivil.
For my part, after I realized that how very upset some Babblers were, I went with it. PBCed him, was silly and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Dinah, I wish that one day we could do or say something here and you won't feel the need to come in and explain Bob to us. We 'know' Bob. I mean no ill will with this statement.
I only wish he will have to fend completely for himself at least ONCE before I die.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 1:06:00
In reply to Re: potential for hurt, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 15:39:34
> Oh, I think I get it now!
>
> Dr. Bob kind of made fun of us, but in a good way that compliments us. I think he is basically saying that instead of Babblers overestimating their abilities like regular people, we underestimate ourselves (when everyone assumes their posts will not be selected as helpful).
>
> I think Dr. Bob is saying we are more helpful than we think, and our answers are more valuable than we assume.
>
> Dr. Bob is just saying that Babblers should see all the good they do and try not to focus on all the negatives. It's like CBT really, we need to see ourselves in our true light. Normal people see themselves as better than others and we see ourselves as worse, but neither are right.You did get it, and thanks for explaining.
I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I see how someone could've felt put down if they thought I meant that literally.
Thinking I meant it literally would actually fit with a "Lake Wobeher effect": not only do posters themselves underestimate their abilities, but also they see me as underestimating them.
Bob
Posted by obsidian on July 9, 2010, at 1:10:04
In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' » Dinah, posted by fayeroe on July 9, 2010, at 0:22:35
it sounds like a depressing place...
have the fish all died?
can you not swim in the water due to pollution?
is there not a paddle boat to be found?
sounds dismalpersonally I like the beach, yes the occasional piece of garbage washes up, you end up walking on broken sharp shells, sometimes the waves are too rough, the sand is too hot, the seaweed is too plentiful, but overall it's a nice place
Posted by obsidian on July 9, 2010, at 1:12:19
In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 1:06:00
oh alright...I get it now too
thanks
Posted by SLS on July 9, 2010, at 4:40:11
In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' » Dinah, posted by fayeroe on July 9, 2010, at 0:22:35
> Dinah, I wish that one day we could do or say something here and you won't feel the need to come in and explain Bob to us.
Well, someone's got to.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 9:46:20
In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 1:06:00
> > Oh, I think I get it now!
> >
> > Dr. Bob kind of made fun of us, but in a good way that compliments us. I think he is basically saying that instead of Babblers overestimating their abilities like regular people, we underestimate ourselves (when everyone assumes their posts will not be selected as helpful).
> >
> > I think Dr. Bob is saying we are more helpful than we think, and our answers are more valuable than we assume.
> >
> > Dr. Bob is just saying that Babblers should see all the good they do and try not to focus on all the negatives. It's like CBT really, we need to see ourselves in our true light. Normal people see themselves as better than others and we see ourselves as worse, but neither are right.
>
> You did get it, and thanks for explaining.
>
> I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I see how someone could've felt put down if they thought I meant that literally.
>
> Thinking I meant it literally would actually fit with a "Lake Wobeher effect": not only do posters themselves underestimate their abilities, but also they see me as underestimating them.
>
> BobBob,
Your sense of humor suddenly appearing on the boards certainly threw this poster for a loop - and perhaps set off my own "spidey sense" which I now understand is my intuition and power of discernment.I never knew you could backpaddle so well. Congrats to you - you can add it to your signature line!
PartlyCloudy
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 14:02:49
In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help » Dr. Bob, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 9:46:20
> Your sense of humor suddenly appearing on the boards certainly threw this poster for a loop - and perhaps set off my own "spidey sense" which I now understand is my intuition and power of discernment.
I'm glad you can see it now as humor. Maybe I should've included a smiley when I posted.
A sensitive spidey sense, like a sensitive smoke detector, can help protect you, but can also mean false alarms.
> I never knew you could backpaddle so well. Congrats to you - you can add it to your signature line!
Thanks! :-)
Bob
Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 16:24:43
In reply to Re: spidey sense, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 14:02:49
> > Your sense of humor suddenly appearing on the boards certainly threw this poster for a loop - and perhaps set off my own "spidey sense" which I now understand is my intuition and power of discernment.
>
> I'm glad you can see it now as humor. Maybe I should've included a smiley when I posted.That would have made a world of difference, Bob.
>
> A sensitive spidey sense, like a sensitive smoke detector, can help protect you, but can also mean false alarms.
>In this case, I actually think my instinct is CORRECT - but that's another topic entirely. I think I nailed it. But you did apologize...
> > I never knew you could backpaddle so well. Congrats to you - you can add it to your signature line!
>
> Thanks! :-)
>
> Bob
Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 16:26:54
In reply to Re: spidey sense » Dr. Bob, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 16:24:43
Oh, and while I'm at it, here's a plug for an excellent book about listening to our intuition: "The Gift of Fear". It's been instrumental in the therapeutic process for me.
pc
Posted by jade k on July 10, 2010, at 0:29:25
In reply to Re: spidey sense, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 14:02:49
EQUIVOCAL applies to language left open to differing interpretations with the intention of deceiving or evading
OBSCURE
not clearly seen or easily distinguished, nor readily understood or clearly expressed
It implies a hiding or veiling of meaning through some inadequacy of expression or withholding of full knowledge.
CRIPTIC implies a purposely concealed meaningAMBIGUOUS applies to language capable of more than one interpretation
"I'm glad you can see it now as humor. Maybe I should've included a smiley when I posted." Dr. Bob
"Or, YOU could defend and explain YOUR humor, lol haha, :-)
Can I just take a stab at this, Dr. Bob, since we're just jokin around? :-)
I believe you never had any intention to have us "rate" each others posts. It would destroy babble (pretty sure you know that, of course thats my opinion only):-)
You knew there would be "much ado" about your post, yet you did it and disappeared.:-)
Further, I suggest you knew there would be a long thread about "Lake Wobeher". In fact, you had that material ready, word for word (sorta). So, the only mystery left (for me) is why? :-)
Hmm...personally, I'm kinda indifferent to the post...so probably others are too. Its kinda like when you referred to us as "this herd". Now you had to know THAT wasn't gonna fly :-)
So what we have here, is a failure to communicate:-)
First, you (try to) provoke us, then you let us carry on for a while. Next, you let someone else explain it away, and then...you wait/watch. For what, I wonder? :-)
Babbler bonding? A common enemy? Draw posters and lurkers to Admin? (but why...) An experiment? No, too long running for that :-)
Okay, I'm stumped for the night. No worries, Doc Bob, I'm not a weak woman, me and my peeps will be on it tomorrow like white on rice! :-)
And all this is just humor, right? k? good :-)
Have a good night Dr. Bob :-)
:-) Jade
Posted by SLS on July 10, 2010, at 8:55:01
In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 8, 2010, at 4:10:54
> That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average.
Oops.
Now, what?
Forgiveness perhaps?
- Scott
Posted by BayLeaf on July 10, 2010, at 12:41:02
In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 1:06:00
suspects you had glass of wine under your belt when you wrote that! :-)
i love this smiley face tool!! :-)
the instant "get out of PBC" card! :-)
Seriously...
"I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I see how someone could've felt put down if they thought I meant that literally." is an example might use in the future of a poor apology. You know that you hurt people's feelings and that they DID feel put down. The way you wrote that took no responsiblity for what you did. I would encourage you to re-write it as follows"
"I'm sorry that I hurt people's feelings. I see that some people here felt put down by what I wrote. My comment was poorly written, as the feelings evoked were honestly not my intention......what I meant was....Again, I am very sorry my comments caused upset to members of this community. I hope there is a better understanding now of my intent."
Bay
Posted by jade k on July 10, 2010, at 13:34:48
In reply to my spidey sense » Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on July 10, 2010, at 12:41:02
Hi Bay,
> suspects you had glass of wine under your belt when you wrote that! :-)
Suspects we all needed one when we read it :-)
> i love this smiley face tool!! :-)Isn't it cool! And "board certified" to be effective and safe :-)
> the instant "get out of PBC" card! :-)So far :-)
> Seriously...
> "I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I see how someone could've felt put down if they thought I meant that literally." is an example might use in the future of a poor apology. You know that you hurt people's feelings and that they DID feel put down. The way you wrote that took no responsiblity for what you did.Its the gift that keeps on giving :-)
>I would encourage you to re-write it as follows"
>
> "I'm sorry that I hurt people's feelings. I see that some people here felt put down by what I wrote. My comment was poorly written, as the feelings evoked were honestly not my intention......what I meant was....Again, I am very sorry my comments caused upset to members of this community. I hope there is a better understanding now of my intent."Okay if I don't hold my breath? Its difficult with all this smiling. :-)
> Bay
>
>
~Jade :-) Off thread, affective dejavu disorder
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47
In reply to my spidey sense » Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on July 10, 2010, at 12:41:02
> I believe you never had any intention to have us "rate" each others posts.
>
> You knew there would be "much ado" about your post, yet you did it and disappeared.
>
> Further, I suggest you knew there would be a long thread about "Lake Wobeher". In fact, you had that material ready, word for word (sorta). So, the only mystery left (for me) is why?
>
> JadeYou seem to be pretty sure about what I knew and what I intended. I didn't disappear. What material do you see me as having had ready?
--
> I would encourage you to re-write it
>
> BayLeafOK:
I'm sorry that I hurt people's feelings. I see that some people here felt put down by what I wrote. The feelings evoked were honestly not my intention. What I meant was that instead of overestimating their abilities like some people, Babblers may underestimate themselves (when they assume their posts will not be selected as helpful). They are more helpful than they think, and their answers are more valuable than they assume. I wish they could see all the good they do and would try not to focus on negatives. I hope there is a better understanding now of my intent.
--
More attention is being paid to the messenger than the message.
Bob
Posted by SLS on July 11, 2010, at 4:40:18
In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect', posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47
> More attention is being paid to the messenger than the message.
I would agree.
- Scott
Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 11, 2010, at 9:59:39
In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect', posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47
Posted by BayLeaf on July 11, 2010, at 14:06:06
In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect', posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47
Thank you.
>
> More attention is being paid to the messenger than the message.
>
> BobI set the bar higher when the messenger is you. I expect more than avoidance of a PBC. I expect thoughtfulness, and a generous spirit as a guide to other posters.
Of course, occasional screw ups are allowed. I'm pretty sure you are human.
I apprecicate you rewriting your post.
Bay
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2010, at 9:20:18
In reply to Re: 'Lake WobeBob effect' » Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on July 11, 2010, at 14:06:06
> Thank you
>
> PartlyCloudy> Thank you.
>
> Of course, occasional screw ups are allowed. I'm pretty sure you are human.
>
> I apprecicate you rewriting your post.You're welcome, thank you, and I appreciate you suggesting a better way to express myself.
> 'Lake WobeBob effect'
"Wobeher" is pronounced Woe-be-here, you know, not Woe-be-her. Maybe seeing it as the latter contributed to the reaction some people had?
> I set the bar higher when the messenger is you. I expect more than avoidance of a PBC. I expect thoughtfulness, and a generous spirit as a guide to other posters.
>
> BayI suppose I encourage a high bar by using this signature...
Bob
Posted by jade k on July 13, 2010, at 12:21:55
In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect', posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47
> > I believe you never had any intention to have us "rate" each others posts.
> >
> > You knew there would be "much ado" about your post, yet you did it and disappeared.
> >
> > Further, I suggest you knew there would be a long thread about "Lake Wobeher". In fact, you had that material ready, word for word (sorta). So, the only mystery left (for me) is why?
> >
> > Jade
>
> You seem to be pretty sure about what I knew and what I intended. I didn't disappear. What material do you see me as having had ready?>Bob
You are correct, I was "geussing" as to what you intended. I was trying to provoke an answer as to "why", I suppose. I did not understand this as humor, however, I should not presume to know what your intentions are/were. I'm sorry.>"Wobeher" is pronounced Woe-be-here, you know, not Woe-be-her. Maybe seeing it as the latter contributed to the reaction some people had?
Yes. I wondered why it wasn't named "Lake Wobehim". Glad you straightened that out.
Thank you for the apology.
~Jade
Posted by BayLeaf on July 13, 2010, at 19:16:10
In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect', posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2010, at 9:20:18
we've witnessed a lotta backpedaling over the years, no wonder you are so reticent! (sorry NYT, but this behavior may completely discount the possibility of brilliance).
[insert required smiley face here]
Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 14, 2010, at 6:49:29
In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobehere effect' » Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on July 13, 2010, at 19:16:10
> we've witnessed a lotta backpedaling over the years, no wonder you are so reticent! (sorry NYT, but this behavior may completely discount the possibility of brilliance).
>
> [insert required smiley face here]I'm telling you, it's a vanishing skill outside the world of politics.
Posted by sigismund on July 14, 2010, at 18:01:43
In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobehere effect' » BayLeaf, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 14, 2010, at 6:49:29
>it's a vanishing skill outside the world of politics
Wrecking things is so much simpler than fixing them.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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