Psycho-Babble Administration Thread 952980

Shown: posts 61 to 85 of 308. Go back in thread:

 

Re: :-( I feel bad now Deneb

Posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 19:14:06

In reply to :-( I feel bad now, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 18:46:36

> I didn't want to upset people. I honestly thought this would be a good idea and that it would help people.
>
Hi Deneb,

I totally agree with Fayeroe, none of this was your fault. We all post ideas that we think will be helpful, some are used, some not.

This really ended up being about the "Lake" post.
I'm pretty sure noone is upset with you! I wouldn't worry about it anymore :-)

~Jade

 

Re: :-( I feel bad now

Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 8, 2010, at 19:16:18

In reply to Re: :-( I feel bad now Deneb, posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 19:14:06

> > I didn't want to upset people. I honestly thought this would be a good idea and that it would help people.
> >
> Hi Deneb,
>
> I totally agree with Fayeroe, none of this was your fault. We all post ideas that we think will be helpful, some are used, some not.
>
> This really ended up being about the "Lake" post.
> I'm pretty sure noone is upset with you! I wouldn't worry about it anymore :-)
>
> ~Jade
>
>
>
>

I agree, Deneb. This thread has gone on to a tangent I'm sure you never intended. There was nothing wrong with your post.

pc

 

Re: :-( I feel bad now Deneb

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 19:30:06

In reply to Re: :-( I feel bad now fayeroe, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 19:10:41

> Thanks for explaining Fayeroe.
>
> I wish I could understand why people are so upset.
>
> It just seems like everything backfired.


{That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average. Bob}

Deneb~~

"I wish I could understand why people are so upset."
>
I can only speak for myself, Deneb. I definitely would not have posted what Bob did. I am hurt and angered by the post. I never expected this from someone who is not only a M.D. but who also specialized in psychiatry.

Actually, Deneb, this could turn into an opportunity for you to focus more on the population of posters and adjust your expectations of Bob and Babble. There are lots of really good people here, Deneb. Take care, Pat

 

Re: potential to help Dr. Bob..Hippocratic Oath...

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 19:39:08

In reply to Re: potential to help Dr. Bob jade k, posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 18:16:52

.Newer version of The Hippocratic Oath

...
I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

Written in 1964 by Louis Lasagna, Academic Dean of the School of Medicine at Tufts University, and used in many medical schools today.

 

Re: :-( I feel bad now Deneb

Posted by Justherself54 on July 8, 2010, at 19:42:55

In reply to :-( I feel bad now, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 18:46:36

I'm sorry if my post hurt and upset you. That was never my intention. I hope you know I'd never do anything that would make you feel badly.

 

Re: :-( I feel bad now Deneb

Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 22:03:51

In reply to :-( I feel bad now, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 18:46:36

I'm sorry, Deneb. I didn't wish to make you feel bad either. Though i wouldn't really like it at babble, it was Dr Bob I was upset with.

 

Re: 'Too Little....Too Late'

Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 22:14:44

In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' jade k, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 8, 2010, at 18:36:37


> Unfortunately, this here ain't no fictional "Lake Wobeher"; we are real people. Weak, bad looking, and below average? So we're being told. Ouch!
>
>

To be entirely fair to Dr Bob, I don't think he meant to insult Babblers. I think he meant those who didn't like the idea were being unduly negative about Babblers. If any incivility was intended it was to us. I prefer to think that Dr Bob was intending something else than incivility.

Of course, I disagree with the underlying point, since if his view of us is so positive, then he considers our contributions helpful.

Which they are, as long as they are well intended. Caring enough to reply is helpful. I thought Dr Bob himself said as much when encouraging us to welcome newcomers or respond to unresponded posts. Which confuses me about his current stance.

 

Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' Dinah

Posted by fayeroe on July 9, 2010, at 0:22:35

In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late', posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 22:14:44

>
> > Unfortunately, this here ain't no fictional "Lake Wobeher"; we are real people. Weak, bad looking, and below average? So we're being told. Ouch!
> >
> >
>
> To be entirely fair to Dr Bob, I don't think he meant to insult Babblers. I think he meant those who didn't like the idea were being unduly negative about Babblers. If any incivility was intended it was to us. I prefer to think that Dr Bob was intending something else than incivility.
>
> Of course, I disagree with the underlying point, since if his view of us is so positive, then he considers our contributions helpful.
>
> Which they are, as long as they are well intended. Caring enough to reply is helpful. I thought Dr Bob himself said as much when encouraging us to welcome newcomers or respond to unresponded posts. Which confuses me about his current stance.

There probably isn't any way I can say this without being blocked...........

In my years and years of being here, I've seen very little in the way of humor in administration. I have looked and waited...........no funny bone there that I can see.

I was (and still am) dismayed by his posting what he did. I didn't think it was very funny if he was joking. Of course I would NEVER presume to know what goes on in there.......

I took it up to my level and gave him a PBC. I felt that his post was uncivil because it was upsetting to Babble posters. I feel that if we can be called uncivil for a lot less than that.....the MAN could be uncivil.

For my part, after I realized that how very upset some Babblers were, I went with it. PBCed him, was silly and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Dinah, I wish that one day we could do or say something here and you won't feel the need to come in and explain Bob to us. We 'know' Bob. I mean no ill will with this statement.

I only wish he will have to fend completely for himself at least ONCE before I die.

 

Re: potential for hurt, potential to help

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 1:06:00

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 15:39:34

> Oh, I think I get it now!
>
> Dr. Bob kind of made fun of us, but in a good way that compliments us. I think he is basically saying that instead of Babblers overestimating their abilities like regular people, we underestimate ourselves (when everyone assumes their posts will not be selected as helpful).
>
> I think Dr. Bob is saying we are more helpful than we think, and our answers are more valuable than we assume.
>
> Dr. Bob is just saying that Babblers should see all the good they do and try not to focus on all the negatives. It's like CBT really, we need to see ourselves in our true light. Normal people see themselves as better than others and we see ourselves as worse, but neither are right.

You did get it, and thanks for explaining.

I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I see how someone could've felt put down if they thought I meant that literally.

Thinking I meant it literally would actually fit with a "Lake Wobeher effect": not only do posters themselves underestimate their abilities, but also they see me as underestimating them.

Bob

 

where is lake wobeher?

Posted by obsidian on July 9, 2010, at 1:10:04

In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' Dinah, posted by fayeroe on July 9, 2010, at 0:22:35

it sounds like a depressing place...

have the fish all died?
can you not swim in the water due to pollution?
is there not a paddle boat to be found?
sounds dismal

personally I like the beach, yes the occasional piece of garbage washes up, you end up walking on broken sharp shells, sometimes the waves are too rough, the sand is too hot, the seaweed is too plentiful, but overall it's a nice place

 

Re: potential for hurt, potential to help Dr. Bob

Posted by obsidian on July 9, 2010, at 1:12:19

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 1:06:00

oh alright...I get it now too
thanks

 

Re: 'Too Little....Too Late'

Posted by SLS on July 9, 2010, at 4:40:11

In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' Dinah, posted by fayeroe on July 9, 2010, at 0:22:35

> Dinah, I wish that one day we could do or say something here and you won't feel the need to come in and explain Bob to us.

Well, someone's got to.

:-)


- Scott

 

Re: potential for hurt, potential to help Dr. Bob

Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 9:46:20

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 1:06:00

> > Oh, I think I get it now!
> >
> > Dr. Bob kind of made fun of us, but in a good way that compliments us. I think he is basically saying that instead of Babblers overestimating their abilities like regular people, we underestimate ourselves (when everyone assumes their posts will not be selected as helpful).
> >
> > I think Dr. Bob is saying we are more helpful than we think, and our answers are more valuable than we assume.
> >
> > Dr. Bob is just saying that Babblers should see all the good they do and try not to focus on all the negatives. It's like CBT really, we need to see ourselves in our true light. Normal people see themselves as better than others and we see ourselves as worse, but neither are right.
>
> You did get it, and thanks for explaining.
>
> I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I see how someone could've felt put down if they thought I meant that literally.
>
> Thinking I meant it literally would actually fit with a "Lake Wobeher effect": not only do posters themselves underestimate their abilities, but also they see me as underestimating them.
>
> Bob

Bob,
Your sense of humor suddenly appearing on the boards certainly threw this poster for a loop - and perhaps set off my own "spidey sense" which I now understand is my intuition and power of discernment.

I never knew you could backpaddle so well. Congrats to you - you can add it to your signature line!

PartlyCloudy

 

Re: spidey sense

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 14:02:49

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help Dr. Bob, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 9:46:20

> Your sense of humor suddenly appearing on the boards certainly threw this poster for a loop - and perhaps set off my own "spidey sense" which I now understand is my intuition and power of discernment.

I'm glad you can see it now as humor. Maybe I should've included a smiley when I posted.

A sensitive spidey sense, like a sensitive smoke detector, can help protect you, but can also mean false alarms.

> I never knew you could backpaddle so well. Congrats to you - you can add it to your signature line!

Thanks! :-)

Bob

 

Re: spidey sense Dr. Bob

Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 16:24:43

In reply to Re: spidey sense, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 14:02:49

> > Your sense of humor suddenly appearing on the boards certainly threw this poster for a loop - and perhaps set off my own "spidey sense" which I now understand is my intuition and power of discernment.
>
> I'm glad you can see it now as humor. Maybe I should've included a smiley when I posted.

That would have made a world of difference, Bob.

>
> A sensitive spidey sense, like a sensitive smoke detector, can help protect you, but can also mean false alarms.
>

In this case, I actually think my instinct is CORRECT - but that's another topic entirely. I think I nailed it. But you did apologize...

> > I never knew you could backpaddle so well. Congrats to you - you can add it to your signature line!
>
> Thanks! :-)
>
> Bob

 

Re: spidey sense

Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 16:26:54

In reply to Re: spidey sense Dr. Bob, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 9, 2010, at 16:24:43

Oh, and while I'm at it, here's a plug for an excellent book about listening to our intuition: "The Gift of Fear". It's been instrumental in the therapeutic process for me.

pc

 

Re: Equivocal, Obscure, Criptic... Dr. Bob

Posted by jade k on July 10, 2010, at 0:29:25

In reply to Re: spidey sense, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 14:02:49

EQUIVOCAL applies to language left open to differing interpretations with the intention of deceiving or evading

OBSCURE
not clearly seen or easily distinguished, nor readily understood or clearly expressed
It implies a hiding or veiling of meaning through some inadequacy of expression or withholding of full knowledge.

CRIPTIC implies a purposely concealed meaning

AMBIGUOUS applies to language capable of more than one interpretation

"I'm glad you can see it now as humor. Maybe I should've included a smiley when I posted." Dr. Bob

"Or, YOU could defend and explain YOUR humor, lol haha, :-)

Can I just take a stab at this, Dr. Bob, since we're just jokin around? :-)

I believe you never had any intention to have us "rate" each others posts. It would destroy babble (pretty sure you know that, of course thats my opinion only):-)

You knew there would be "much ado" about your post, yet you did it and disappeared.:-)

Further, I suggest you knew there would be a long thread about "Lake Wobeher". In fact, you had that material ready, word for word (sorta). So, the only mystery left (for me) is why? :-)

Hmm...personally, I'm kinda indifferent to the post...so probably others are too. Its kinda like when you referred to us as "this herd". Now you had to know THAT wasn't gonna fly :-)

So what we have here, is a failure to communicate:-)

First, you (try to) provoke us, then you let us carry on for a while. Next, you let someone else explain it away, and then...you wait/watch. For what, I wonder? :-)

Babbler bonding? A common enemy? Draw posters and lurkers to Admin? (but why...) An experiment? No, too long running for that :-)

Okay, I'm stumped for the night. No worries, Doc Bob, I'm not a weak woman, me and my peeps will be on it tomorrow like white on rice! :-)

And all this is just humor, right? k? good :-)

Have a good night Dr. Bob :-)

:-) Jade

 

An 'Oops' moment.

Posted by SLS on July 10, 2010, at 8:55:01

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 8, 2010, at 4:10:54

> That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average.

Oops.

Now, what?

Forgiveness perhaps?


- Scott

 

my spidey sense Dr. Bob

Posted by BayLeaf on July 10, 2010, at 12:41:02

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2010, at 1:06:00

suspects you had glass of wine under your belt when you wrote that! :-)

i love this smiley face tool!! :-)

the instant "get out of PBC" card! :-)

Seriously...

"I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I see how someone could've felt put down if they thought I meant that literally." is an example might use in the future of a poor apology. You know that you hurt people's feelings and that they DID feel put down. The way you wrote that took no responsiblity for what you did. I would encourage you to re-write it as follows"

"I'm sorry that I hurt people's feelings. I see that some people here felt put down by what I wrote. My comment was poorly written, as the feelings evoked were honestly not my intention......what I meant was....Again, I am very sorry my comments caused upset to members of this community. I hope there is a better understanding now of my intent."

Bay

 

Re: affective dejavu disorder :-) BayLeaf

Posted by jade k on July 10, 2010, at 13:34:48

In reply to my spidey sense Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on July 10, 2010, at 12:41:02

Hi Bay,

> suspects you had glass of wine under your belt when you wrote that! :-)

Suspects we all needed one when we read it :-)

> i love this smiley face tool!! :-)

Isn't it cool! And "board certified" to be effective and safe :-)

> the instant "get out of PBC" card! :-)

So far :-)

> Seriously...

> "I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I see how someone could've felt put down if they thought I meant that literally." is an example might use in the future of a poor apology. You know that you hurt people's feelings and that they DID feel put down. The way you wrote that took no responsiblity for what you did.

Its the gift that keeps on giving :-)

>I would encourage you to re-write it as follows"
>
> "I'm sorry that I hurt people's feelings. I see that some people here felt put down by what I wrote. My comment was poorly written, as the feelings evoked were honestly not my intention......what I meant was....Again, I am very sorry my comments caused upset to members of this community. I hope there is a better understanding now of my intent."

Okay if I don't hold my breath? Its difficult with all this smiling. :-)

> Bay
>
>
~Jade :-) Off thread, affective dejavu disorder

 

Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect'

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47

In reply to my spidey sense Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on July 10, 2010, at 12:41:02

> I believe you never had any intention to have us "rate" each others posts.
>
> You knew there would be "much ado" about your post, yet you did it and disappeared.
>
> Further, I suggest you knew there would be a long thread about "Lake Wobeher". In fact, you had that material ready, word for word (sorta). So, the only mystery left (for me) is why?
>
> Jade

You seem to be pretty sure about what I knew and what I intended. I didn't disappear. What material do you see me as having had ready?

--

> I would encourage you to re-write it
>
> BayLeaf

OK:

I'm sorry that I hurt people's feelings. I see that some people here felt put down by what I wrote. The feelings evoked were honestly not my intention. What I meant was that instead of overestimating their abilities like some people, Babblers may underestimate themselves (when they assume their posts will not be selected as helpful). They are more helpful than they think, and their answers are more valuable than they assume. I wish they could see all the good they do and would try not to focus on negatives. I hope there is a better understanding now of my intent.

--

More attention is being paid to the messenger than the message.

Bob

 

Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect' Dr. Bob

Posted by SLS on July 11, 2010, at 4:40:18

In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect', posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47

> More attention is being paid to the messenger than the message.

I would agree.


- Scott

 

Thank you (nm) Dr. Bob

Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 11, 2010, at 9:59:39

In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect', posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47

 

Re: 'Lake WobeBob effect' Dr. Bob

Posted by BayLeaf on July 11, 2010, at 14:06:06

In reply to Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect', posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 0:29:47

Thank you.

>
> More attention is being paid to the messenger than the message.
>
> Bob

I set the bar higher when the messenger is you. I expect more than avoidance of a PBC. I expect thoughtfulness, and a generous spirit as a guide to other posters.

Of course, occasional screw ups are allowed. I'm pretty sure you are human.

I apprecicate you rewriting your post.

Bay

 

Re: 'Lake Wobeher effect'

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2010, at 9:20:18

In reply to Re: 'Lake WobeBob effect' Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on July 11, 2010, at 14:06:06

> Thank you
>
> PartlyCloudy

> Thank you.
>
> Of course, occasional screw ups are allowed. I'm pretty sure you are human.
>
> I apprecicate you rewriting your post.

You're welcome, thank you, and I appreciate you suggesting a better way to express myself.

> 'Lake WobeBob effect'

"Wobeher" is pronounced Woe-be-here, you know, not Woe-be-her. Maybe seeing it as the latter contributed to the reaction some people had?

> I set the bar higher when the messenger is you. I expect more than avoidance of a PBC. I expect thoughtfulness, and a generous spirit as a guide to other posters.
>
> Bay

I suppose I encourage a high bar by using this signature...

Bob


Go forward in thread:


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.