Psycho-Babble Administration Thread 952980

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Re: potential for hurt Dr. Bob

Posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 15:06:34

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 8, 2010, at 4:10:54

> > I think it's rude in a community to tell people they aren't helpful. Or even that they weren't as helpful as Poster X.
> >
> > Dinah
>
> > I guess it has a lot of potential to hurt people's feelings imo without much usefulness to those whose posts were somehow less helpful. I mean, how does it help me to know that my thoughts on an issue weren't helpful to someone?
> >
> > Willful
>
> That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average.
>
> Bob


Wikipedia:

The Lake Wobegon effect

Main article: Illusory superiority
The characterization of the fictional location, where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average," has been used to describe a real and pervasive human tendency to overestimate ones achievements and capabilities in relation to others.

The Lake Wobegon effect, where all or nearly all of a group claim to be above average, has been observed among drivers, CEOs, stock market analysts, college students, parents, and state education officials, among others.

Dr. Bob?

~Jade


 

Re: potential2hurt, potentia 2help...i'm w/you.... (nm) 10derHeart

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 15:07:12

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on July 8, 2010, at 14:46:39

 

Re: potential for hurt, potential to help

Posted by 8675309 on July 8, 2010, at 15:09:02

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on July 8, 2010, at 14:46:39

If there was an attempt at ?humor? or candor, it has fallen short of its mark. AND just because a star pupil suggests something does not meam the otjher pupils deserve dismissiveness if there is disagreement.

 

Re: potential for hurt

Posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 15:39:34

In reply to Re: potential for hurt Dr. Bob, posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 15:06:34

Oh, I think I get it now!

Dr. Bob kind of made fun of us, but in a good way that compliments us. I think he is basically saying that instead of Babblers overestimating their abilities like regular people, we underestimate ourselves (when everyone assumes their posts will not be selected as helpful).

I think Dr. Bob is saying we are more helpful than we think, and our answers are more valuable than we assume.

Dr. Bob is just saying that Babblers should see all the good they do and try not to focus on all the negatives. It's like CBT really, we need to see ourselves in our true light. Normal people see themselves as better than others and we see ourselves as worse, but neither are right.

 

Re: potential for hurt Deneb

Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 15:52:07

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 15:39:34

And this would help that how? No matter how it's structured, I see more people feeling bad than good.

 

Re: potential for hurt... i don't agree (nm) Deneb

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 15:59:31

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 15:39:34

 

Re: potential for hurt, potential to help 8675309

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 16:03:01

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by 8675309 on July 8, 2010, at 15:09:02

"AND just because a star pupil suggests something"

I like the "star pupil" statement. Makes it easier for me to process. Thanks, Faye

 

Re: potential for hurt Dinah

Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 8, 2010, at 16:03:28

In reply to Re: potential for hurt Deneb, posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 15:52:07

> And this would help that how? No matter how it's structured, I see more people feeling bad than good.

I know *I* am feeling that way. This does not bode well for my decision to return here. What was I thinking??!! "Danger, Will Robinson!!"

 

Re: potential for hurt, potential to help Deneb

Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 8, 2010, at 16:05:16

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 13:21:09

> Oops, I mean Wobeher lol
>
> Wobegon, Wobeher, funny play on words

Funny like a blonde joke, IMO.
Not funny. I have interpreted this very differently.
pc

 

Re: potential for hurt, potential to help Deneb

Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 16:17:16

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 6:07:12

> Hey Dinah,
>
> I bet almost all of your posts would get selected as best answer! You're one of the most helpful people on Babble!
>
> Deneb

I suppose that over time i'd be both helpful and unhelpful in posting. The funny thing is that being labeled either would be uncomfortable in different ways. Do you imagine I'd want my post to be rated "best" answer any more than I'd like to be considered unhelpful?

If this were a forum about transmissions or spark plugs, I can see the benefit of encouraging expert factual responses and discouraging others. On a forum about mental health issues it seems less a good idea. To the extent Babble is a community, I don't see it as appropriate. In a community, all members should be valued because all members are part of the community.

 

Re: I have an idea for Babble

Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 16:22:03

In reply to Re: I have an idea for Babble, posted by Dr. Bob on July 3, 2010, at 2:25:00


> If people felt bad about not having many points, maybe others could help them with their answers, or not to feel so bad about it?
>
> Bob

Perhaps it's difficult for a brilliant and reticent mastermind to understand why this would be even more upsetting to the rest of us.

 

Re: potential for hurt..shows a lack of class.. (nm) Deneb

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 16:36:02

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 15:39:34

 

Re: I have an idea for Babble :-) (nm) Dinah

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 16:39:03

In reply to Re: I have an idea for Babble, posted by Dinah on July 8, 2010, at 16:22:03

 

Re: potential for hurt, potential to help Dr. Bob

Posted by Willful on July 8, 2010, at 17:12:28

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 8, 2010, at 4:10:54

As far as lake woebegone, I see but don't particularly appreciate the analogy. I see valid doubts about this idea. There's no helpfulness in rating posters responses-- nor in fact any particular meaningfulness. What are we going to do then-- get into disagreements about which post is really the most helpful? Where posts seem to take opposite points of view, this seems especially unproductive.

It's one thing on a translation site, where some translations might be incorrect. Even there, I question its value, because often most or several of the translations are correct . But on a psychology website, I assume that all the answers are correct, in some or several respects. Just seems to invite a sense of invidious comparisons being made.

Anyway, it trivializes the ideas being offered for them to be "rated." I don't think ideas can be rated on a scale like that. Nor should they be.

Willful

 

Re: potential 4 hurt. Where did the B Mind Go? (nm)

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 17:16:57

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 15:39:34

 

Re: potential4hurt, potential4help.... PBC Dr. Bob

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 17:30:16

In reply to Re: potential for hurt, potential to help, posted by Dr. Bob on July 8, 2010, at 4:10:54


>
> That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average.
>
> Bob

Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.

But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.

Fayeroe

 

Re: potential to help Dr. Bob

Posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 17:51:57

In reply to Re: potential4hurt, potential4help.... PBC Dr. Bob, posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 17:30:16

> > That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average.
> >
> > Bob

Would anyone be willing to try to show Dr. Bob how he might rephrase the above or to encourage him to apologize? You may have the power to help him avoid being...

 

Re: potential4hurt, potential4help

Posted by Justherself54 on July 8, 2010, at 17:52:24

In reply to Re: potential4hurt, potential4help.... PBC Dr. Bob, posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 17:30:16

I didn't get the joke, then when I got it, I didn't like it. I'm not fond of jokes that are obtuse. As for the rating of posts, what I see as happening is the more articulate people will post, and the rest, like me, will avoid posting. I already feel some intimation at the best of times on the med board. Knowing my post was subject to a rating system kinda horrifies me.

I agree with Dinah..this isn't a forum where you're asking about spark plugs or how to fix your computer..our illnesses are far more complex.

If I read a post on some forum that is rated, say, about computer problems, I know I run the risk I could damage my computer. I would not want the responsibility of rating a post that may appear to be the "best" and "correct" answer, when, in fact, it would be a dangerous and incorrect answer.

I get scared enough reading some posts on the med board, especially with regard to self-medication..let alone have the wrong answer rated highly and someone gets hurt..or worse.

Just my $.01 worth!

 

Re Too late........I have already given the PBC (nm) jade k

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 18:07:59

In reply to Re: potential to help Dr. Bob, posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 17:51:57

 

Re: potential for hurt Dr. Bob

Posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 18:15:25

In reply to Re: potential to help Dr. Bob, posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 17:51:57

> > > That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average.
> > >
> > > Bob
>

As Hsiung told me, Im continually humbled by the wisdom, determination and caring that they show. Virginia Heffernan, NYTimes

How do we reconcile these two statements Dr. Bob?

~Jade

 

Re: potential to help Dr. Bob jade k

Posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 18:16:52

In reply to Re: potential to help Dr. Bob, posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 17:51:57

> > > That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average.
> > >
> > > Bob
>
> Would anyone be willing to try to show Dr. Bob how he might rephrase the above or to encourage him to apologize? You may have the power to help him avoid being...

No one stepped up to help the poster. I guess no one wanted to take the opportunity to show the poster how re-phrasing with an apology to the posters could help him.

I appreciate your trying to help but it was too little, too late.

Faye
>
>
>

 

Re: NOoooooo!!! (((((((Dr. Bob))))))))))

Posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 18:22:51

In reply to Re: potential to help Dr. Bob jade k, posted by fayeroe on July 8, 2010, at 18:16:52

> > > > That could be the news from Lake Wobeher, where all the women are weak, all the men are bad looking, and all the posters are below average.
> > > >
> > > > Bob
> >
> > Would anyone be willing to try to show Dr. Bob how he might rephrase the above or to encourage him to apologize? You may have the power to help him avoid being...
>
> No one stepped up to help the poster. I guess no one wanted to take the opportunity to show the poster how re-phrasing with an apology to the posters could help him.
>
> I appreciate your trying to help but it was too little, too late.
>
> Faye
> >
> >
> >
>
>
Jade

 

Re: 'Too Little....Too Late'

Posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 18:30:34

In reply to Re: NOoooooo!!! (((((((Dr. Bob)))))))))), posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 18:22:51

And thats the news folks here at "Lake Wobeher",

"Too Little, Too Late."

Reporting live....
Jade Kelly

 

Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' jade k

Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 8, 2010, at 18:36:37

In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late', posted by jade k on July 8, 2010, at 18:30:34

> And thats the news folks here at "Lake Wobeher",
>
> "Too Little, Too Late."
>
> Reporting live....
> Jade Kelly

Super job of reporting!
Unfortunately, this here ain't no fictional "Lake Wobeher"; we are real people. Weak, bad looking, and below average? So we're being told. Ouch!

 

:-( I feel bad now

Posted by Deneb on July 8, 2010, at 18:46:36

In reply to Re: 'Too Little....Too Late' jade k, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 8, 2010, at 18:36:37

I didn't want to upset people. I honestly thought this would be a good idea and that it would help people.

Dr. Bob, can you just forget about this whole idea? I'm sorry I suggested it.


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