Psycho-Babble Administration Thread 398972

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Re: Is it worth fighting for Dinah

Posted by AuntieMel on October 6, 2004, at 13:23:08

In reply to Re: Is it worth fighting for AuntieMel, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2004, at 12:05:41

All true. But I think in some ways it's the degree of difficulty. I think that in lots of ways giving up the group is harder than one individual. Like you say, it's just not as cut-and-dried here.

 

Re: Disagree Lou? Not really Lou Pilder

Posted by AuntieMel on October 6, 2004, at 13:34:08

In reply to Lou's response to Auntie Mel AuntieMel, posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 12:13:20

I understand that you would like Kali's input. And I agree that all have equal access. I just thought that two threads with Kali might be more productive. One on the "process" - or group dynamics. Another one on how we feel about the rule itself.

I think it might be valuable in this thread, for example, for you to explain *why* you post like you do. That way she'll know that you aren't doing it intentionally to annoy people.

I'm not trying to cause you any troubles. I just know it can sometimes be difficult for you to get your point across and I was trying to help. If I'm bothering you, just let me know and I'll quit.

OK?

 

Re: Hi Lou (excuse me if I'm butting in) Kali Munro

Posted by partlycloudy on October 6, 2004, at 14:16:36

In reply to Hi Lou (excuse me if I'm butting in), posted by Kali Munro on October 5, 2004, at 21:06:52

Kali - what do make of this thread? I find it distressing to the extreme, yet I was really looking forward to your visit.

I'm afraid I won't be able to return to this board to enjoy your posts, and that really saddens me.

partlycloudy is very stormy.

 

Re: Hi, remember me? :) Kali Munro

Posted by Toph on October 6, 2004, at 14:51:27

In reply to Hi, remember me? :), posted by Kali Munro on October 4, 2004, at 20:54:45

Hi Kali,
As per usual I'm jumping in here late. I thought you said you'd be here till Thurs. My question is, if Psycho-Babble aspires to be a therapeutic environment, isn't it valuable to have regular discussions of not only content but also process? We support each other and share information and experiences, which is great. We don't seem to talk much about how we arrive at the rules that govern this place, how certain conflicts develop, why some people feel safe to post and others don't, how the group acts dynamically to create social norms, to mention a few. Bob appears to be the playground supervisor -- he rarely kicks the ball. Should he stimulate more analysis of how things go here or is it up to us? -Toph

 

Lou's reply to Auntie Mel AuntieMel

Posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 15:31:12

In reply to Re: Disagree Lou? Not really Lou Pilder, posted by AuntieMel on October 6, 2004, at 13:34:08

Auntie Mel,
You wrote,[...I was trying to help (you)....].
Thank you for trying to help. I appreciate that. I was trying to help also.
You also wrote,[...I think that it would be valuable to explain why you post like you do...you arn't doing it intentionally...].
I appreciate your offer and I do want to assure anyone that may think that my posting style is intentional, for it is not. I can not explaine this phenominum in 3 posts, however.
The condition that I have has been listed in the medical liturature with a very small number of people having such. Ludwig von Beethoven being one. But my condition could be more exttreme than his , for he studied music and his memory was filled with the most beautifull music from his time. In my condition, I studied very little music and a lot of math. In my research, I have found that the brain has math and music somehow related. So my memory brings not only music, but math also. The music is mathematical, but distorted and off-key which is a tremendous distraction and impairment. There is time needed for me to stop so that this distraction can abate and then I can make another post with new input. The first post is usually limited to that one thought. That is why you see only one thought in each post. there seems to be some kind of release of one thought and then I can not continue. If I stop the post and start over with a new post, this somehow works for me.
Lou

 

Re: Kali - this is exactly what happens

Posted by verne on October 6, 2004, at 15:38:27

In reply to Kali - this is exactly what happens, posted by partlycloudy on October 6, 2004, at 7:46:49

I agree with partlycloudy that this is a problem and wonder what can be done about it. I'm reluctant to post for fear my messages will be submitted for "administrative review". I accuse myself enough, I don't need to go looking for it.

verne

 

Re: That was good Lou Pilder

Posted by AuntieMel on October 6, 2004, at 16:04:46

In reply to Lou's reply to Auntie Mel AuntieMel, posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 15:31:12

You managed to describe it very well in one paragraph. I know that was hard.

 

Lou's response to Auntie Mel-2-mh AuntieMel

Posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 16:11:06

In reply to Re: That was good Lou Pilder, posted by AuntieMel on October 6, 2004, at 16:04:46

Auntie mel,
you wrote,[... you described well...]. I have only explained a very small aspect of this, but if this is satisfactory, then good.
Thank you for complimenting me. Someone said it,[...the evil that men do live after them, the good is oft interred in their bones...].
Lou

 

Lou's explanation of administrative review

Posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 16:28:36

In reply to Re: Kali - this is exactly what happens, posted by verne on October 6, 2004, at 15:38:27

Friends,
My requests to the admin. are just that, requests for a determination. I am not asking for the poster to have some admin. action taken against them for the post, but to only make a determination as to its acceptibility or not.
I feel that if this is done, then it could be a good thing, for after the determination is made, others can choose or not choose to write similar statements under review. I have seen many posters also use the admin. board for review of aspects of the board.
Please accept my apology to anyone that I may have offended in asking for a determination, for I believe that it is good to do so, for if the determination comes durring the discussion, then the discussion IMO could be more fruitfull.
Lou

 

Re: Lou's explanation of administrative review Lou Pilder

Posted by Toph on October 6, 2004, at 16:48:39

In reply to Lou's explanation of administrative review, posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 16:28:36

Hi Lou, welcome back. Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't Bob (or his surrogate) review every post? Is it redundant to ask for an administrative review if all posts are reviewed eventually? -Toph

 

Re: statements on the faith board

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2004, at 17:12:17

In reply to Lou's response to Kali-B-wl, posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 10:56:57

> There are statements by Jean Rousseau on the faith board, one of which is,[...christianity preaches only servitude and dependance...true christians are made to be slaves...this short life counts for little in their lives...].

Just for the record, that statement isn't there...

Bob

 

Re: Lou's explanation of administrative review Lou Pilder

Posted by NikkiT2 on October 6, 2004, at 17:32:07

In reply to Lou's explanation of administrative review, posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 16:28:36

YOU know what Lou.. I am too scated to post eher right now. I'm in quite a delicate state, which I know an awful lot of us are, and an awful lot are an awful lot worse off than I am.

But, the fear of what ever I say being misinterprested and posted here, asking for a determination of whether I was being civil is more than I can handle.

All I can cope with is the books board, where I hope, by reccomending books and discussing them, I couldn't possibly offend anyone.

Just another point of view for you. I need support I am now unable to get, as I may say something that would then be copied onto here for discussion. Thats not something I am able toc ope with.

Sorry

Nikki

 

Re: Lou's explanation of administrative review

Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2004, at 19:03:49

In reply to Re: Lou's explanation of administrative review Lou Pilder, posted by NikkiT2 on October 6, 2004, at 17:32:07

Nikki, I'm sorry you aren't doing well. I had thought/hoped you were in a good place right now. If you'd ever like to email me, I've got Babble mail on.

 

Oops. Above for Nikki (nm)

Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2004, at 19:04:18

In reply to Re: Lou's explanation of administrative review, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2004, at 19:03:49

 

Hi Tabitha

Posted by Kali Munro on October 6, 2004, at 20:18:06

In reply to Question for Kali, posted by tabitha on October 6, 2004, at 1:37:49

>>>> What's a good way to respond to someone who is wanting support for feelings of upset, when I think their feelings are based on a perception that needs to be challenged? For example, let's say someone takes offense at a post, but I read it differently and don't think any insult was intended. Let's say they get several responses validating their feelings. How can I say anything without seeming to be taking sides against them, or invalidating their perceptions? Is it better to just say nothing if I can't be totally supportive?<<<<<

Great question, Tabitha. The first thing that comes to mind is even if someone misinterprets what someone else is saying (which happens all the time) they still feel what they feel and need understanding for their feelings. As you're saying, feelings are not facts and so, for example, just because someone feels "attacked" it doesn't mean that they were attacked. But, they still feel that way.

So, to answer your question: You could say something validating about how they feel, for example, "I can hear how hurt you feel, and I can understand how you would feel hurt given how you heard so-and-so's post. I want to share that I read her/his post differently than you. When she/he said such and such, I think you heard her/him as saying....and I heard her/him as saying.... I know you feel what you feel, and perhaps I am wrong, but I just wanted to share a different perspective with you."


Kali

 

Hi Lou

Posted by Kali Munro on October 6, 2004, at 20:35:37

In reply to Lou's response to, posted by Lou Pilder on October 5, 2004, at 21:16:14


>>>>> Kali,
> You wrote the above and there was a poster that wrote that they, in their own way of saying it, did think that the initial posts about Jean Rousseau before I stopped had merit.
> Lou<<<<<

Oh I didn't mean that your posts weren't interesting or didn't have merit, although I can understand you reading my post that way and I apologize for not being clearer or more sensitive in my wording. I'm sure they do have merit. My concern was for you (and others) that perhaps you were trying really hard to "teach" people something that they didn't want to be "taught". Of course your opinions are valid -- I just thought it'd be more satisfying to you, and others, if you were to share that information with people who wanted to have that discussion.

My question comes from process "rules" for communication:

*check out with the other person(s)if they are open to hearing your feedback or concerns at this time.

Kali


 

Lou's response to Dr. Hsiung's post Dr. Bob

Posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 20:37:40

In reply to Re: statements on the faith board, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2004, at 17:12:17

Dr. Hsiung,
Ther is a refference that is brought to our attention on the faith board. It is Jean Rousseau's writing of the Social Contract. Ther is a line to click on and the writing of Jean Rousseau is displayed. In that writing, about the 8th paragraph from the end, appears,[...christianity preaches only servitude and dependance...true christians are made to be slaves...this short life counts for little in their lives...].
Below is the link to bring up the faith board and clicking on the line under Jean Rousseau's writing about the social contract brings up the statement in question for those that are on the faith board .
Then there is a statement that writes that another statement from that writing supports the posting policy here.
As I see that, I consider that those statements taken together have the potential for one to have the potential to think that the faith board endorses both statements.
Below is the link to this.
Lou
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith

 

Re: where we're at

Posted by Kali Munro on October 6, 2004, at 20:40:52

In reply to Re: where we're at, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2004, at 9:55:39

> > I wonder what would have happened had someone said, "Hey, I'm sure you have some interesting things to say... I'd be far more likely to respond to you if you could write less. Do you think you could try that?"
>
> Some might be willing and able to try, others might not?

For sure, and some might need help to learn how to do it.


> Thanks for helping out again,
>
> Bob

No problem! :)

Kali

 

Lou's response to Kali Kali Munro

Posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 20:43:47

In reply to Hi Lou, posted by Kali Munro on October 6, 2004, at 20:35:37

Kali,
You wrote,[...I apologise for not being clearer and more sensitive in my wording...].
Thank you very much for that, I appreciate you taking the time to clear up that misunderstanding.
Lou

 

The link to Jean Rousseau's writing.

Posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 20:49:53

In reply to Lou's response to Dr. Hsiung's post Dr. Bob, posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 20:37:40

Friends,
If you are experiancing a problem clicking on the link in question that is on the faith board, then the link is:
http://www.classicreader.com/read.php/sid.1/bookid.615/sec.51/
Lou

 

Hi partlycloudy, very stormy

Posted by Kali Munro on October 6, 2004, at 20:50:03

In reply to Re: Hi Lou (excuse me if I'm butting in) Kali Munro, posted by partlycloudy on October 6, 2004, at 14:16:36

> Kali - what do make of this thread? I find it distressing to the extreme, yet I was really looking forward to your visit.
>
> I'm afraid I won't be able to return to this board to enjoy your posts, and that really saddens me.
>
> partlycloudy is very stormy.
>

Awww I'm sorry to hear that. I understand feeling distressed. Do you feel comfortable saying more about how you feel? No pressure, of course.

What do I think? I understand that people get hurt and misunderstandings happen. I prefer to be addressed directly, but not everyone feels comfortable doing that. They feel more comfortable going to the moderator; I understand it can be hard to speak directly to someone whom you feel has hurt you.

I think there could be more checking things out here, for example saying, I heard you say...did you mean that? That helps to clear up misunderstandings and resolve hurt feelings.

I'm sorry it's so hard for you.

Kali

 

Re: Lou's response to Kali

Posted by Kali Munro on October 6, 2004, at 20:53:26

In reply to Lou's response to Kali Kali Munro, posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 20:43:47

> Kali,
> You wrote,[...I apologise for not being clearer and more sensitive in my wording...].
> Thank you very much for that, I appreciate you taking the time to clear up that misunderstanding.
> Lou

Thank you. And, I appreciate you hearing me and letting me know that you did. :)

Kali

 

Toph

Posted by Kali Munro on October 6, 2004, at 20:55:30

In reply to Re: Hi, remember me? :) Kali Munro, posted by Toph on October 6, 2004, at 14:51:27

> Hi Kali,
> As per usual I'm jumping in here late. I thought you said you'd be here till Thurs. <<<<


I am here until Thurs, and I promise to get back to you then.

Take care,

Kali

 

Lou's response to NikkiT2 NikkiT2

Posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 21:07:08

In reply to Re: Lou's explanation of administrative review Lou Pilder, posted by NikkiT2 on October 6, 2004, at 17:32:07

NikkiT2,
Thank you addressing me here. I am glad to hear from you.
You wtote about my asking the moderatoer for a determination. I ask for a determination for reasons that I believe could be supportive. My requests to the moderator havwe been handled greatly and I appreciat his attending to my requests. In the cases previously, the determinations were mostly that the posts were acceptable. If they were not, a "please rephrase" is what I was thinking would be the remedy for the post not being acceptable, because there is generally a misunderstanding that I see in the post and I am thinking that the misunderstanding could be cleared up.
Good to hear from you and I would like to establish further dialog with you.
Lou

 

Lou's reply to Toph Toph

Posted by Lou Pilder on October 6, 2004, at 21:13:22

In reply to Re: Lou's explanation of administrative review Lou Pilder, posted by Toph on October 6, 2004, at 16:48:39

Toph,
You wrote about the moderator reading evry post. As i remember reading the opening page in the FAQ section, the moderator wrote that he could not read evry post due to the volume. I have not read that page recently, so that could have been changed?
Thank you for welcoming me back and it id good to hear from you.
Lou


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