Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 1018911

Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed

Posted by Phillipa on May 30, 2012, at 12:12:35

Thinking maybe it's acceptance of what can't be changed that is responsible for what I used to think was not caring. Knowing that some things can't be fixed like degenerative changes. Also now motrin is according to newsletter working as an inflammatory to stop people from getting melanoma and squamous cell cancer. Inflammation is responsible it seems for heart disease, brain, and pain, and who knows what else. Guess will separate thread on this. Phillipa

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phillipa

Posted by Phil on June 1, 2012, at 12:30:43

In reply to Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed, posted by Phillipa on May 30, 2012, at 12:12:35

You know the good old serenity prayer. I think that I need to remember to live by it myself.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil

Posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2012, at 20:26:17

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phillipa, posted by Phil on June 1, 2012, at 12:30:43

Phil it is true isn't it? Phillipa

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phillipa

Posted by Phil on June 1, 2012, at 20:41:58

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil, posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2012, at 20:26:17

The serenity prayer?

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil

Posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2012, at 21:41:52

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phillipa, posted by Phil on June 1, 2012, at 20:41:58

Phil yes it applies to most everything in life. Phillipa

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phillipa

Posted by Phil on June 2, 2012, at 6:58:42

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil, posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2012, at 21:41:52

Very true.

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil

Posted by sleepygirl2 on June 2, 2012, at 18:51:50

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phillipa, posted by Phil on June 2, 2012, at 6:58:42

It certainly is very true.
If only I knew the difference :-)

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed

Posted by xean on June 3, 2012, at 12:13:26

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil, posted by sleepygirl2 on June 2, 2012, at 18:51:50

We have to make the best of the hand we are delt. I keep the mindset that at some point there will be a breakthrough in these diseases. Try to stay positive.

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed

Posted by g_g_g_unit on June 5, 2012, at 1:16:32

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed, posted by xean on June 3, 2012, at 12:13:26

The great contemporary author David Foster Wallace -- who battled with Bipolar depression, and sadly took his own life 4 years ago -- wrote something along the lines of acceptance being akin to defeat.

Whenever I hear someone advocating acceptance, I tend to find myself agreeing.

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed g_g_g_unit

Posted by Phil on June 5, 2012, at 6:35:52

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed, posted by g_g_g_unit on June 5, 2012, at 1:16:32

> The great contemporary author David Foster Wallace -- who battled with Bipolar depression, and sadly took his own life 4 years ago -- wrote something along the lines of acceptance being akin to defeat.
>
> Whenever I hear someone advocating acceptance, I tend to find myself agreeing.

*I think it's true in some areas and false in others. If someone can't accept that they are an addict, they won't change. Why would they want to?
If I refuse to accept that I have bipolar disorder, I won't seek help, at my own peril. If someone can't accept that their child died, they will never change their room or will set a place at the dining table every meal. You can't move forward if you deny reality and refuse to accept it.
OTOH, if an athlete is always second to a competitor who everyone calls the best ever, but he refuses to accept that, he will keep training and someday prove them wrong.
So I think that acceptance is necessary in many areas of life but refusing to accept is necessary in others.

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil

Posted by g_g_g_unit on June 5, 2012, at 8:39:26

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed g_g_g_unit, posted by Phil on June 5, 2012, at 6:35:52

> You can't move forward if you deny reality and refuse to accept it.

Many people with mental illness will never self-actualize. It's very easy for therapists etc. to promote an agenda of 'acceptance' as a way of downplaying that deep psychic trauma.

My interpretation is that he was digging beneath the 'feel good' quality of acceptance - with its Zen-like connotations - and examining it for what it really is, i.e. defeat. I'm personally aware of what I might have been capable of had I not become 'sick'. Yes, I can accept the life I have and try to do the best with what I've got, but, for me, it becomes complicit with defeat in the sense that I have to stop striving to be the person I set out to be, because they're nothing more than an illusion at this point. And I find that -- everything I've missed out on in life -- the most heartbreaking and damnable part of being ill.

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed g_g_g_unit

Posted by Phil on June 5, 2012, at 11:41:52

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil, posted by g_g_g_unit on June 5, 2012, at 8:39:26

My childhood was neglect and abuse and I'm not convinced that that alone didn't cause 90% of my problems. I'm not admitting failure and I'm not denying what I went through but I accept that that's my lot and I've worked very hard to deal with it. I can't change the past or deny my mental illness. I accept what is and try the best I can when I can.
I don't see acceptance as 'Oh, I've lost so much in life but I embrace that and everything will be all better.' But I can't deny the reality that I live and become bitter and resentful although I am much of the time. I accept it doesn't mean I like it.
Maybe I see acceptance as playing the hand I was dealt. I am no way admitting defeat because I'm still here, still trying. Will I ever get these past 30 years back that have been unbearable many times? Nope. But not accepting reality just serves to make me more bitter leading to more sickness.
If say Christopher Reeve didn't accept his reality he could have never been such an inspiration. If he became bitter and said why did I ride that day and why did this happen, he would have stayed in bed and become less than he was capable of. He had to accept the fact that life is unfair and then make a decision whether to give up or not.
I haven't worked in a year and a half and finally realized that I could either starve or file for disability and try to get better. Do I feel good about that after working since I was twelve? No, it hurts. But I've accepted that what is, is. I'm not beaten till I give up. In fact, to many of those that know me, I think they are inspired. Some love me more than I love me and I have to accept that too. Some may see me as a loser, beaten by life. Fine, maybe in their next life they can walk in my shoes. And yes, I figure my 58 years have been half lived and sometimes all I have to hang my hat on is that I didn't end it all. And for that, I think I have never admitted defeat. If I accepted myself as defeated, why live?
Sorry, long post..busy repeating myself.

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil

Posted by g_g_g_unit on June 6, 2012, at 2:57:28

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed g_g_g_unit, posted by Phil on June 5, 2012, at 11:41:52

Hi Phil,

I hope my post didn't cause offense. I was by no means implying that people who opt for acceptance are 'losers' and I admire you for having endured so long; I can only imagine what a blow it must have been to face the fact that you were no longer able to work, when it had been such an integral part of your identity.

I'm not against acceptance of suffering. In fact, I'm busy reading a Buddhist-inflected advice book called "When Things Fall Apart" as we speak. But I think my qualm lies more with practitioners who try to rectify/minimize symptoms without always being aware of the effect it (or the disease) can have on a person's self-concept. Anyway, I realize there's a limit to what they can do. Maybe I just want sympathy .. or better treatment options ..

Not everyone has the capacity to face change. Maybe it's a personality thing, or the extent to which they identified with their 'former' life, or the inability to find other sources of self-worth. Reeves is one positive example. So are you. But I believe Hemingway blew his brains out partly as a result of the effect ECT had had on his ability to write. I don't see those who choose suicide as any more cowardly.

 

Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed

Posted by xean on June 8, 2012, at 1:26:59

In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed Phil, posted by g_g_g_unit on June 6, 2012, at 2:57:28

I disagree in just accepting it. There so many drug combinations out there and more to come. People may have to suffer a bit till they find the right combinations. I say don't give up. I lived 30 years before finding the right combination. That whole 30 years wasn't consistently bad. I had ups and downs but I didn't want to live that way so I had seen many psychiatrists and have found what works for me and you can do it to.


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