Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 1002146

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Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » Deneb

Posted by ihatedrugs on November 12, 2011, at 0:05:01

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by Deneb on November 11, 2011, at 22:30:07

Oh boy, I should show my husband your post then tell him I'm moving to Paris. :) I've actually always loved the idea of volunteering. I am a high school teacher and as daunting as some people may find this profession, it is actually pretty rewarding. I've taken a two month medical leave to try to figure a new med regimen. I'm also an artist, however I don't have the time to work on my art when I teach. So in a sense, I am at a crossroads because as much as I love teaching and my students, I also want to go back to making art. But for now, I just want to feel well. I am pretty fortunate (sans this evil disease) as I truly love my husband as he loves me and supports me unconditionally. I think this is why I get so frustrated because I have never been able to find one reason to feel this sad and as much as I keep telling myself that I have to accept my condition for what it is -an illness- I find myself resisting and fighting this notion. My husband tells me that I should seek counseling not so much to alleviate the depression but to learn to accept it as a life long condition that will come and go. If it would only just leave for good.

 

Re: Lou's response-phahthrzhowz » Lou Pilder

Posted by ihatedrugs on November 12, 2011, at 0:27:46

In reply to Lou's response-phahthrzhowz » ihatedrugs, posted by Lou Pilder on November 11, 2011, at 15:53:29

Thank you Lou. There is a say in Spanish that says "God may squeeze your neck but will never choke you" (sounds a lot better in Spanish) which I guess is the equivalent to "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I guess what made me mention God with such anger (which BTW I normally don't do as I was raised Catholic and the nuns did a good job in the guilt-inflicting department)was the fact that I was crying and talking to my mom and she kept on saying that she would pray for me and that everything was going to be ok. I snapped and asked her why would God listen to her and not me. But to be honest He is what I hold on to. I just want the pain to stop. So I hope, soon, I get to go to the realm you are in as it sounds much lovelier than mine.

 

Lou's reply-graytgholpf » ihatedrugs

Posted by Lou Pilder on November 12, 2011, at 8:26:24

In reply to Re: Lou's response-phahthrzhowz » Lou Pilder, posted by ihatedrugs on November 12, 2011, at 0:27:46

> Thank you Lou. There is a say in Spanish that says "God may squeeze your neck but will never choke you" (sounds a lot better in Spanish) which I guess is the equivalent to "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I guess what made me mention God with such anger (which BTW I normally don't do as I was raised Catholic and the nuns did a good job in the guilt-inflicting department)was the fact that I was crying and talking to my mom and she kept on saying that she would pray for me and that everything was going to be ok. I snapped and asked her why would God listen to her and not me. But to be honest He is what I hold on to. I just want the pain to stop. So I hope, soon, I get to go to the realm you are in as it sounds much lovelier than mine.

ihd,
You wrote,[...I hope, soon, I get to go to the realm you are in as it sounds much lovelier than mine...].
I have written here some concerning how one can be in that realm but Mr. Hsiung has posted prohibitions to me that prohibit me from posting here what could give people the knowledge to enter thhat realm.
Here is a link to some of what I have been attempting to have members know so that they could overcome addiction, and depression and be led to a new life free of the pain you describe.
Lou
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faiith/200800404/msgs/837578.html

 

correction-Lou's reply-graytgholpf

Posted by Lou Pilder on November 12, 2011, at 8:29:54

In reply to Lou's reply-graytgholpf » ihatedrugs, posted by Lou Pilder on November 12, 2011, at 8:26:24

> > Thank you Lou. There is a say in Spanish that says "God may squeeze your neck but will never choke you" (sounds a lot better in Spanish) which I guess is the equivalent to "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I guess what made me mention God with such anger (which BTW I normally don't do as I was raised Catholic and the nuns did a good job in the guilt-inflicting department)was the fact that I was crying and talking to my mom and she kept on saying that she would pray for me and that everything was going to be ok. I snapped and asked her why would God listen to her and not me. But to be honest He is what I hold on to. I just want the pain to stop. So I hope, soon, I get to go to the realm you are in as it sounds much lovelier than mine.
>
> ihd,
> You wrote,[...I hope, soon, I get to go to the realm you are in as it sounds much lovelier than mine...].
> I have written here some concerning how one can be in that realm but Mr. Hsiung has posted prohibitions to me that prohibit me from posting here what could give people the knowledge to enter thhat realm.
> Here is a link to some of what I have been attempting to have members know so that they could overcome addiction, and depression and be led to a new life free of the pain you describe.
> Lou
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faiith/200800404/msgs/837578.html

corrected:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20080404/msgs/837578.html

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain

Posted by Raisinb on November 12, 2011, at 9:59:12

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » Deneb, posted by ihatedrugs on November 12, 2011, at 0:05:01

I am in a similar place as you right now. After countless drugs and different therapies, it is almost impossible to summon that tiny bit of faith it takes to try yet another thing.

What your husband is saying sounds a lot like ACT: acceptance and commitment therapy. I am just learning about it now, reading a book. One of the big ideas is that we have clean pain and dirty pain. Clean pain is our original depression. Dirty pain is all the pain that comes from feeling upset about the depression, trying to distract ourselves, trying to suppress it, feeling desperate, etc.

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » Raisinb

Posted by floatingbridge on November 12, 2011, at 16:45:41

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by Raisinb on November 12, 2011, at 9:59:12

Raisin,

What book are you reading? My therapist and I spoke of this very thing last week.

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » ihatedrugs

Posted by floatingbridge on November 12, 2011, at 16:49:05

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » gadchik, posted by ihatedrugs on November 11, 2011, at 2:51:05

I'm sorry Ihd. Have you had periods of remission or of an easing of symptoms?

I'm curiuos how you made it to 33 w/o treatment.

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » ihatedrugs

Posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2011, at 18:58:08

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » gadchik, posted by ihatedrugs on November 11, 2011, at 2:51:05

If you have been on meds for 33 years does this make you pre or post menopausal as hormones can play havock with depression/anxiety. Just a thought? Phillipa

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » floatingbridge

Posted by ihatedrugs on November 13, 2011, at 2:22:12

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » ihatedrugs, posted by floatingbridge on November 12, 2011, at 16:49:05

> I'm sorry Ihd. Have you had periods of remission or of an easing of symptoms?
>
> I'm curiuos how you made it to 33 w/o treatment.

I've had periods of remission, in fact, before I sought treatment my depression was episodic. It would come out of the blue last from 3 to 6 months and then go away. It manifested itself in a sort of pattern. It would begin in the Spring and would lift by Fall. I remember loving the Fall season and used to think it was because of the cooler weather until one day it dawned on me that I never felt depressed during those months.
I didn't seek treatment because I didn't want to accept this disease and since I had periods of remission, I would tell myself that it would be the last one. However, each subsequent episode was more intense and decided to seek help. I didn't suffer from anxiety only profound sadness accompanied by uncontrollable crying. I learned to supress the crying and became a master at making people think I was the jolliest person at any party. For the longest time the thought of any one finding out was unthinkable. I was so concerned about what others would think. Anyways, now I don't care as I'm older and hopefully wiser. The last 3 years have complicated matters as I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia/CFS although I would say is more CFS as I don't have much pain.
How have you been doing?

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » Phillipa

Posted by ihatedrugs on November 13, 2011, at 2:30:47

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » ihatedrugs, posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2011, at 18:58:08

> If you have been on meds for 33 years does this make you pre or post menopausal as hormones can play havock with depression/anxiety. Just a thought? Phillipa

I began taking meds at 33 and am now 47 so I'm sure hormones do not feel like playing nice now. Not that they ever did; I've had PMS since my early 20's; Yet never suffered from Post-partum depression. Go figure.

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain

Posted by Raisinb on November 13, 2011, at 3:11:12

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » Raisinb, posted by floatingbridge on November 12, 2011, at 16:45:41

Hi fb,
It is called act for depression:: a guide for clinicians. I always find reading the ones for therapists more helpful than hose written for clients, which are dumbed down and patronizing.

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » ihatedrugs

Posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2011, at 6:49:14

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » floatingbridge, posted by ihatedrugs on November 13, 2011, at 2:22:12

Is the episodic nature a form of bipolar without mania or hypomania?

I'm o.k. The fibro I have is almost CFS. There is something about fatigue for me that feels or is like depression. As I mentioned to Raisin, I was talking with my therapist because this feels so Job-like. After years of depression to become sick is like being robbed. Life throws some big curves, but I'm not dead. Idk.

I'm sorry you have had to deal with what you describe. I'm glad you are teaching and love your students and have accomplished all you have. I did not know you were also an artist. I wish you had the time to disappear into your studio.

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » uncouth

Posted by gadchik on November 13, 2011, at 7:11:59

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » ihatedrugs, posted by uncouth on November 11, 2011, at 19:47:21

Infinite Jest

Thanks for suggesting this book.I love reading books,and I plan to order this one from the library.

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain

Posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 15:16:47

In reply to I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by ihatedrugs on November 10, 2011, at 10:45:03

just wanted to add my support. i'm new here too. i'm in my very first ever severe depression and like you said, i would not wish this on my worst enemy...

another reason i'm replying is that i am/was a highschool teacher as well. not only do we have that in common, but i taught ap art history (though i am not an artist), film history and music history. all to 12th graders at a great school. i miss it/them so very much. i am on medical leave. i'm not sure i would recommend that. my experience with not working and being severely depressed has been extremely difficult. having no place to be for the first time in 26 years just adds to my depression and ruminating. if at all possible, stay in that classroom that i can tell you love so much. maybe go part-time if you can. just a suggestion.

i'm at 20 months of this most disgusting condition. i'm not sure how much more i can take. i, too, have tried several meds and also did a round of ect that failed.

i agree that it is so very hard when people tell you it will get better when that's the last thing you feel or believe. it must be true though because so many say they have felt better after being so deep in the pit. the majority make it out. the #'s are in our favor. (i'm writing these words to remind myself as well.)

psychobabble is a catch-22 in my opinion; great support/info, but made-up mostly of the minority of those who are treatment resistant in regards to their depression. still! the vast majority of the posters are sincerely hopeful that they will get better. i find that inspiring.

i'm curious as to what you teach? and, who are your favorite artist?

hoping you start getting some peace.

john

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain

Posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 15:18:33

In reply to I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by ihatedrugs on November 10, 2011, at 10:45:03

just wanted to add my support. i'm new here too. i'm in my very first ever severe depression and like you said, i would not wish this on my worst enemy...

another reason i'm replying is that i am/was a highschool teacher as well. not only do we have that in common, but i taught ap art history (though i am not an artist), film history and music history. all to 12th graders at a great school. i miss it/them so very much. i am on medical leave. i'm not sure i would recommend that. my experience with not working and being severely depressed has been extremely difficult. having no place to be for the first time in 26 years just adds to my depression and ruminating. if at all possible, stay in that classroom that i can tell you love so much. maybe go part-time if you can. just a suggestion.

i'm at 20 months of this most disgusting condition. i'm not sure how much more i can take. i, too, have tried several meds and also did a round of ect that failed.

i agree that it is so very hard when people tell you it will get better when that's the last thing you feel or believe. it must be true though because so many say they have felt better after being so deep in the pit. the majority make it out. the #'s are in our favor. (i'm writing these words to remind myself as well.)

psychobabble is a catch-22 in my opinion; great support/info, but made-up mostly of the minority of those who are treatment resistant in regards to their depression. still! the vast majority of the posters are sincerely hopeful that they will get better. i find that inspiring.

i'm curious as to what you teach? and, who are your favorite artist?

hoping you start getting some peace.

john

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain

Posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 15:20:36

In reply to I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by ihatedrugs on November 10, 2011, at 10:45:03

just wanted to add my support. i'm new here too. i'm in my very first ever severe depression and like you said, i would not wish this on my worst enemy...

another reason i'm replying is that i am/was a highschool teacher as well. not only do we have that in common, but i taught ap art history (though i am not an artist), film history and music history. all to 12th graders at a great school. i miss it/them so very much. i am on medical leave. i'm not sure i would recommend that. my experience with not working and being severely depressed has been extremely difficult. having no place to be for the first time in 26 years just adds to my depression and ruminating. if at all possible, stay in that classroom that i can tell you love so much. maybe go part-time if you can. just a suggestion.

i'm at 20 months of this most disgusting condition. i'm not sure how much more i can take. i, too, have tried several meds and also did a round of ect that failed.

i agree that it is so very hard when people tell you it will get better when that's the last thing you feel or believe. it must be true though because so many say they have felt better after being so deep in the pit. the majority make it out. the #'s are in our favor. (i'm writing these words to remind myself as well.)

psychobabble is a catch-22 in my opinion; great support/info, but made-up mostly of the minority of those who are treatment resistant in regards to their depression. still! the vast majority of the posters are sincerely hopeful that they will get better. i find that inspiring.

i'm curious as to what you teach? and, who are your favorite artist?

hoping you start getting some peace.

john

 

sorry for the triple post!

Posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 15:22:53

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 15:20:36

sorry for the triple post...

not sure what the hell i did?

j

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » JohnLA

Posted by ihatedrugs on November 13, 2011, at 17:26:20

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 15:16:47

> just wanted to add my support. i'm new here too. i'm in my very first ever severe depression and like you said, i would not wish this on my worst enemy...
>
> another reason i'm replying is that i am/was a highschool teacher as well. not only do we have that in common, but i taught ap art history (though i am not an artist), film history and music history. all to 12th graders at a great school. i miss it/them so very much. i am on medical leave. i'm not sure i would recommend that. my experience with not working and being severely depressed has been extremely difficult. having no place to be for the first time in 26 years just adds to my depression and ruminating. if at all possible, stay in that classroom that i can tell you love so much. maybe go part-time if you can. just a suggestion.
>
> i'm at 20 months of this most disgusting condition. i'm not sure how much more i can take. i, too, have tried several meds and also did a round of ect that failed.
>
> i agree that it is so very hard when people tell you it will get better when that's the last thing you feel or believe. it must be true though because so many say they have felt better after being so deep in the pit. the majority make it out. the #'s are in our favor. (i'm writing these words to remind myself as well.)
>
> psychobabble is a catch-22 in my opinion; great support/info, but made-up mostly of the minority of those who are treatment resistant in regards to their depression. still! the vast majority of the posters are sincerely hopeful that they will get better. i find that inspiring.
>
> i'm curious as to what you teach? and, who are your favorite artist?
>
> hoping you start getting some peace.
>
> john
>

John,
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I can certainly relate.
You taught AP Art History, how awesome. I wanted to teach it but the school budget wouldn't allow it. I'm also on medical leave for two months. I'll be returning the 1st week of December. I know what you mean about leaving the classroom. For the 8 hours or so I spend with my students there is always that one kid who makes me laugh. However, when I teach, I can't find the time to work on my art and that bothers me. I remember whenever I felt well and worked on a project, I would feel such contentment and peace. Perhaps because all my thoughts were vested into what I was doing.
About this forum you are right it can be a double edge sword. Those who are in remission are living their lives and have no need to visit this site. I'm one of them. Each time I get better I spend less time on PB. I do check in from time to time to see how others are doing and to offer some advice. But when the monster returns, this is the first place I come to. You will notice some posters come and go and that is good because it often means they no longer need the support. You mentioned this is your first depressive episode. May I ask if it was due to any particular situation or did it just come out the blue?
As for my favorite artist, I love Matisse. Perhaps because he once said "Derive happiness in oneself from a good day's work, from illuminating the fog that surrounds us." I also think he mastered color like no other. Other favorites are Hans Hoffman, De Kooning, Pollock, Frida and as obnoxious as he was Picasso. BTW, I teach Spanish AP and Spanish Literature AP. Who are among your favorite artists?
I know we don't like to hear it but I've been around this rodeo several times and it does get better. It just becomes harder to manage with each subsequent episode and adding CFS to the mix does not help matters. Hang in there and may you also find Peace.

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain

Posted by ihatedrugs on November 13, 2011, at 17:33:14

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » ihatedrugs, posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2011, at 6:49:14

> Is the episodic nature a form of bipolar without mania or hypomania?
>
> I'm o.k. The fibro I have is almost CFS. There is something about fatigue for me that feels or is like depression. As I mentioned to Raisin, I was talking with my therapist because this feels so Job-like. After years of depression to become sick is like being robbed. Life throws some big curves, but I'm not dead. Idk.
>
> I'm sorry you have had to deal with what you describe. I'm glad you are teaching and love your students and have accomplished all you have. I did not know you were also an artist. I wish you had the time to disappear into your studio.

Mania or bipolarity has never been suggested nor suspected by any of my Pdoctors. If I'm not depressed I'm usually fine.

I do also hope I get to go back to my art.
I'm taking Vyvanse for CFS and it is the only thing that gets me going. Without it I coudn't function.

 

The above response if for FB (nm)

Posted by ihatedrugs on November 13, 2011, at 17:36:28

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by ihatedrugs on November 13, 2011, at 17:33:14

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain

Posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 19:19:27

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » JohnLA, posted by ihatedrugs on November 13, 2011, at 17:26:20

thnx ihd-

very cool classes that you teach. one of the girls i loved in my life liked for me to read pablo neruda poems to her in spanish...though i didn't understand a word, she found it very romantic.

my depression came about from an 'imperfect storm' of equal parts financial stress, health issues, and loneliness. it all came crumbling down in march, 2010. though, looking back, i think i may have been in a mild funk for a few years before. i could list my specific reasons i'm depressed, but i won't. i'm also thinking i might just be in one hell of a mid-life crisis! ;) one of my issues i realize is that i was in the 12th grade for the last 26 years emotionally and just never truly grew-up. i'm 49, single and now sick. call me a washed-up peter pan.

i really like your list of favorite artists. i was lucky enough to see a major exhibit of pollock at MoMA in NY during the 1990's. that experience actually inspired me to start the ap art history program at our school.

if i was to answer your question about my favorite artists i would say miles, coltrane, billie, bill evans and john lennon of course.

or, a long list of film directors...

but! i know we are talking painters. :) here's my list; leonardo, chagall, rothko, vermeer, your beloved pollock, and botticelli (god his models were so gorgeous and modern looking!).

so, there are a few of many. like i said i miss 'doing my thing' in class and being in such a positive environment. really miss it.

kind of like what you said with your artwork. i miss the 'groove' i would get in with the students. the give and take. i loved learning from those kids.

besides my depression i am suffering severe anhedonia. there is not one thing that brings me pleasure. i find this almost bizarre. i was extremely passionate about so much that life offers, especially the arts. it's heart-breaking. i just wish i could cry, but these meds do a good job of blunting emotion.

so, there is a bit of my story.

thnx again for replying to my post. i hope you find the rest you need during your leave.

john

 

Re: sorry for the triple post! » JohnLA

Posted by gadchik on November 14, 2011, at 7:22:24

In reply to sorry for the triple post!, posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 15:22:53

Hi John! I am no longer depressed,but I find inspiration here,and theres the social babble you can click on at bottom of screen.Its great to talk to people that know what it's like.I hope you get back to school,and life, soon.Im looking out my window,and the sun is out,the trees are orange,its a beautiful day.Know that you will come out of this.

 

Re: sorry for the triple post! » JohnLA

Posted by SLS on November 14, 2011, at 8:34:24

In reply to sorry for the triple post!, posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 15:22:53

> sorry for the triple post...

That's okay. I usually need to read things three times before I understand it.


- Scott

 

Lou's reply-mrvluslyt » ihatedrugs

Posted by Lou Pilder on November 14, 2011, at 21:37:13

In reply to Re: Lou's response-phahthrzhowz » Lou Pilder, posted by ihatedrugs on November 12, 2011, at 0:27:46

> Thank you Lou. There is a say in Spanish that says "God may squeeze your neck but will never choke you" (sounds a lot better in Spanish) which I guess is the equivalent to "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I guess what made me mention God with such anger (which BTW I normally don't do as I was raised Catholic and the nuns did a good job in the guilt-inflicting department)was the fact that I was crying and talking to my mom and she kept on saying that she would pray for me and that everything was going to be ok. I snapped and asked her why would God listen to her and not me. But to be honest He is what I hold on to. I just want the pain to stop. So I hope, soon, I get to go to the realm you are in as it sounds much lovelier than mine.

ihd,
You wrote,[...I just want the pain to stop...].
What would you say if I showed you a way, would you stand up and walk out on me?
You see, I may the only person on this earth that knows exactly what is happening to you and what you could do to end the pain. Now that could raise some questions, I know.
You see, there is light and there is darkness. And there is a light of the world that illuminates the mind to see how to go to the realm of peace and joy. And when one is down, in order to see the light they need to be lifted up, lifted up by the wings of truth. And when I had an encounter with a Rider on a White Horse, He said to me that He was the truth. And He said to go to the lost sheep, that are in pain, and tell them that the Sun of Righteousness will arise with healing in his wings and lift them up out of the darkness and into a marvelous light.
Lou

 

Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain » JohnLA

Posted by ihatedrugs on November 17, 2011, at 0:20:25

In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 19:19:27

> thnx ihd-
>
> very cool classes that you teach. one of the girls i loved in my life liked for me to read pablo neruda poems to her in spanish...though i didn't understand a word, she found it very romantic.
>
> my depression came about from an 'imperfect storm' of equal parts financial stress, health issues, and loneliness. it all came crumbling down in march, 2010. though, looking back, i think i may have been in a mild funk for a few years before. i could list my specific reasons i'm depressed, but i won't. i'm also thinking i might just be in one hell of a mid-life crisis! ;) one of my issues i realize is that i was in the 12th grade for the last 26 years emotionally and just never truly grew-up. i'm 49, single and now sick. call me a washed-up peter pan.
>
> i really like your list of favorite artists. i was lucky enough to see a major exhibit of pollock at MoMA in NY during the 1990's. that experience actually inspired me to start the ap art history program at our school.
>
> if i was to answer your question about my favorite artists i would say miles, coltrane, billie, bill evans and john lennon of course.
>
> or, a long list of film directors...
>
> but! i know we are talking painters. :) here's my list; leonardo, chagall, rothko, vermeer, your beloved pollock, and botticelli (god his models were so gorgeous and modern looking!).
>
> so, there are a few of many. like i said i miss 'doing my thing' in class and being in such a positive environment. really miss it.
>
> kind of like what you said with your artwork. i miss the 'groove' i would get in with the students. the give and take. i loved learning from those kids.
>
> besides my depression i am suffering severe anhedonia. there is not one thing that brings me pleasure. i find this almost bizarre. i was extremely passionate about so much that life offers, especially the arts. it's heart-breaking. i just wish i could cry, but these meds do a good job of blunting emotion.
>
> so, there is a bit of my story.
>
> thnx again for replying to my post. i hope you find the rest you need during your leave.
>
> john
>
>
>
>
>
>Hi John
I hope today has been kinder to you.
Pablo Neruda is one of my favorite poets. His love poems collection is a dream.
Wow you taught for 26 years. I've only been at it 8 years and I'm ready to do something else.
I bet your kids loved you and you made an impact in their lives.
I know what you mean about not being able to enjoy anything. It's even more annoying when you are married to someone who enjoys even the most insignificant thing...Drives my crazy! But I guess it's better than two miserable people cohabitating. We'll get our groove back and we'll be fine. We are going through a rough time right now,but this too shall pass.
BTW, your choice of artists is pretty cool too.
That's awesome you saw a Pollock's exhibit at the MoMA. What an awesome museum that is. Chagall is phenomenal.

Take care of yourself. Keep up the faith.


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

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