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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Maxime on September 7, 2010, at 10:56:26
In reply to Re: Quick update, posted by emmanuel98 on August 30, 2010, at 21:21:22
Home to pick up some stuff. I have a job interview tomorrow so I needed some different clothes. The Centre made me call them when I got home and I have to be back in two hours. They realise how suicidal I am.
Really not feeling good at all. :(
Posted by ed_uk2010 on September 7, 2010, at 14:57:48
In reply to Re: Quick update, posted by Maxime on September 7, 2010, at 10:56:26
> Home to pick up some stuff. I have a job interview tomorrow so I needed some different clothes. The Centre made me call them when I got home and I have to be back in two hours. They realise how suicidal I am.
>
> Really not feeling good at all. :(What's the job interview Maxie?
xx
Posted by floatingbridge on September 8, 2010, at 12:58:10
In reply to Re: Quick update, posted by ed_uk2010 on September 7, 2010, at 14:57:48
Maxime I'm glad the people at the centre recognize your distress level and care. You deserve good care.
Thanks for the update. ((hugs))
Posted by Maxime on September 9, 2010, at 19:50:24
In reply to Re: Quick update, posted by Maxime on September 5, 2010, at 12:31:26
I left the Centre tonight. As soon as I walked into my house I felt stress and pressure. You are only allowed to stay at the Centre for one week and they let me stay a little longer.
I had a job interview yesterday and I will find out on Friday if I got it. I would be starting on Monday. It's a job in my field so if I get it, I will do a little happy dance.
Of course I can call the Centre any time I want for support, or just have someone listen.
I am coming down with a cold and because of the MAOI there is nothing I can really take but Tylenol. It's so frustrating.
So yup, I am back.
Posted by Maxime on September 9, 2010, at 20:23:30
In reply to Re: Quick update, posted by ed_uk2010 on September 7, 2010, at 14:57:48
Hi Ed, the job is at the Boys and Girls Club. I will be an animator for the computer program. Here is the interesting part ... it's for senoirs. I think it's the only Boys and Girls club with seniors! I would be responsible for creating the courses and marketing material. And it's only 15 minutes from where I live.
I really hope I get it. :)
Posted by weatherfreak on September 9, 2010, at 20:45:32
In reply to I'm home, posted by Maxime on September 9, 2010, at 19:50:24
Maxime, it's so good to hear!
The job sounds fantastic too. Good luck and best wishes.
Posted by Maxime on September 9, 2010, at 21:04:07
In reply to Re: I'm home » Maxime, posted by weatherfreak on September 9, 2010, at 20:45:32
Thank you so much!! I really hope I get this job especially since it is in my field. That doesn't happen very often.
Posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2010, at 21:30:21
In reply to Re: I'm home » weatherfreak, posted by Maxime on September 9, 2010, at 21:04:07
Maxie congrats you really sound excited about the job. Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on September 9, 2010, at 21:40:08
In reply to Re: I'm home » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2010, at 21:30:21
Phillipa, at this point I would be happy about any job prospect ... but this one is in my field which is awesome. If I get the job I will tell you what it is.
Posted by Maxime on September 10, 2010, at 13:57:57
In reply to Re: I'm home » Phillipa, posted by Maxime on September 9, 2010, at 21:40:08
> Phillipa, at this point I would be happy about any job prospect ... but this one is in my field which is awesome. If I get the job I will tell you what it is.
I GOT THE JOB! I just found out about 40 minutes ago.
I will be working at the Boys and Girls Club. I will be an animator for their senoirs computer courses, marketing, and web maintenance. I start on Monday! I think it's the only B&G club that caters to seniors.
I am so excited! It's close to home so I won't spend a lot on gas. There is bus access from the top of our street in case I do need to take the bus.Best of all, this is in my field!
I feel good. I still feel the aches and pains, but I they are easier to endure.
I wish I could have a party with all my PB friends!
Posted by Justherself54 on September 10, 2010, at 14:47:52
In reply to I GOT THE JOB!, posted by Maxime on September 10, 2010, at 13:57:57
Congrats!!!!!
Posted by ed_uk2010 on September 10, 2010, at 14:49:16
In reply to I GOT THE JOB!, posted by Maxime on September 10, 2010, at 13:57:57
Hi Maxie that's great. A job that you really want to do!!! Let us know how it goes :)
Love me xx
Posted by PartlyCloudy on September 10, 2010, at 15:02:28
In reply to I GOT THE JOB!, posted by Maxime on September 10, 2010, at 13:57:57
Great news and just what you needed to hear right now!
PartlyCloudy
Posted by Lil'Deb on September 10, 2010, at 19:20:05
In reply to I GOT THE JOB!, posted by Maxime on September 10, 2010, at 13:57:57
Congratulations and good luck!
Posted by emmanuel98 on September 10, 2010, at 19:29:05
In reply to Re: I GOT THE JOB!, posted by Lil'Deb on September 10, 2010, at 19:20:05
What exciting news. Hopefully being busy will relieve some of the stress and depression and achiness you've been feeling. And to do something you're excited about doing rather than just some old job! Great news!
Posted by Phillipa on September 10, 2010, at 19:32:17
In reply to Re: I GOT THE JOB!, posted by emmanuel98 on September 10, 2010, at 19:29:05
Maxie knew you would. Congrats!!!! Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on September 10, 2010, at 21:07:29
In reply to I GOT THE JOB!, posted by Maxime on September 10, 2010, at 13:57:57
I'd love a party!!
Are you going to celebrate, however low key?
Yes! Hooray and happiness! Best of luck!
You deserve an excellent work situation. :) hugs!
Posted by Maxime on September 11, 2010, at 20:08:26
In reply to Re: I GOT THE JOB! » Maxime, posted by floatingbridge on September 10, 2010, at 21:07:29
> I'd love a party!!
>
> Are you going to celebrate, however low key?
>
> Yes! Hooray and happiness! Best of luck!
>
> You deserve an excellent work situation. :) hugs!I don't have the money to party, or people to party with. Maybe I will celebrate with Murphy. :)
Posted by Maxime on September 11, 2010, at 21:35:59
In reply to Re: Quick update, posted by Maxime on September 5, 2010, at 12:31:26
Despite getting a job, I have to be honest and say that my thoughts are still very dark. Tonight is not a good night. I'm still thinking of suicide and wanting to kill myself. But how can that be? I should be thankful and relieved that I got that job.
I hate this so much. I wish I didn't have so many bad thoughts.
Posted by floatingbridge on September 11, 2010, at 21:39:51
In reply to Re: I GOT THE JOB! » floatingbridge, posted by Maxime on September 11, 2010, at 20:08:26
My lab always knew how to party :)
Posted by floatingbridge on September 11, 2010, at 23:29:11
In reply to Go away bad thoughts, go AWAY!, posted by Maxime on September 11, 2010, at 21:35:59
Maxime, pardon my bluntness in advance. We know some depressions are situational. And situation can affect mood positively or negatively. Then there is depression existing independent of circumstance.
I don't expect you to only have happy thoughts because of your new employment situation. Your chamge of fortune may relieve stress and frustration in many areas of your life, but
I wouldn't be a very good friend to expect your change of fortune to stop all those negative thoughts. I have an awful, awfully critical inner voice that talks to me in ways that are unimaginably cruel and hurtful. This voice even uses good things (like any success or pleasure) against me. It's very sad, really. And if I was strong enough to see the humor, kinda funny.
Like a highly dysfunctional parent in some black-humored sitcom.So, no, I don't expect those thoughts to go away. I accept you the way you are (online), and I know that you are not those thoughts. Maybe, over time, you can find more ways to diminish them.
Getting out and doing something you do
well.... I hope you are blessed with good, appreciative coworkers. And that you
drink some of that appreciation in.(Now if I could do that myself....)
And tell those thoughts you've got some friends at PB who would beg to differ... :)
Posted by SLS on September 12, 2010, at 5:08:27
In reply to Go away bad thoughts, go AWAY!, posted by Maxime on September 11, 2010, at 21:35:59
> Despite getting a job, I have to be honest and say that my thoughts are still very dark. Tonight is not a good night. I'm still thinking of suicide and wanting to kill myself. But how can that be? I should be thankful and relieved that I got that job.
>
> I hate this so much. I wish I didn't have so many bad thoughts.I hope you understand that this is the depression talking. You would have these thoughts even if you had won the lottery. In my opinion, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) can be helpful, even if you are suffering from a biogenic depression. It really is not a singular answer for your predicament. However, CBT can be a good coping tool that helps you evaluate the negative thoughts when they arise and perform reality checks that challenges their validity. CBT can help you deal with negative thoughts while you are still searching for an effective biological therapy.
By the way, how long did the Parnate work for before it pooped-out?
- Scott
Posted by floatingbridge on September 12, 2010, at 11:58:27
In reply to Re: Go away bad thoughts, go AWAY! » Maxime, posted by SLS on September 12, 2010, at 5:08:27
Hi Scott :)
DBT has some good techniques, too. Of course, implementing them is another challenge :(
Distress tolerance helps me.
Posted by Maxime on September 12, 2010, at 16:49:51
In reply to Re: Go away bad thoughts, go AWAY! » Maxime, posted by floatingbridge on September 11, 2010, at 23:29:11
You are right FB. Actually hearing from you that it is normal to feel this way makes it a little easier. I am trying not to put myself down as much for feeling bad.
I have worked in various Provinces and States hoping that the change would change my mood. It never did. It just followed me around.
Posted by Maxime on September 12, 2010, at 16:55:33
In reply to Re: Go away bad thoughts, go AWAY! » Maxime, posted by SLS on September 12, 2010, at 5:08:27
> > Despite getting a job, I have to be honest and say that my thoughts are still very dark. Tonight is not a good night. I'm still thinking of suicide and wanting to kill myself. But how can that be? I should be thankful and relieved that I got that job.
> >
> > I hate this so much. I wish I didn't have so many bad thoughts.
>
> I hope you understand that this is the depression talking. You would have these thoughts even if you had won the lottery. In my opinion, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) can be helpful, even if you are suffering from a biogenic depression. It really is not a singular answer for your predicament. However, CBT can be a good coping tool that helps you evaluate the negative thoughts when they arise and perform reality checks that challenges their validity. CBT can help you deal with negative thoughts while you are still searching for an effective biological therapy.
>
> By the way, how long did the Parnate work for before it pooped-out?
>
>
> - Scott
>
>Scott, I know that CBT would help a lot. I really need to see a pyschologist for a few years. But I can't afford it and psychologists are not part of Canada's health plan.
I started the Parnate in October 2009 and it helped, but it only brought me to about 75 percent okay which is really good enough for me to function.
Every went wrong in March of this year when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery. I was under so much stress and my still hasn't come back to what is was in 2009. I don't think the Parnate is pooping out on me ... I think life is just sh*tt*ng on my head all the time that it's hard to get up again.
Thanks for your response Scott.
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