Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 946827

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Re: NARDIL EPIPHANY GODSENT » bulldog2

Posted by SLS on May 26, 2010, at 17:41:55

In reply to Re: NARDIL EPIPHANY GODSENT, posted by bulldog2 on May 26, 2010, at 17:28:44

> > > Yes you are connecting to the universal God. Just let go and let yourself fall and fall. You are feeling and becoming God. You are part of everything and all is part of you.You see and feel all that is false and useless and you laugh at it. You are the truth and the truth is in you. Fall..fall......You are eternal and will never die...
> >
> > That's some pretty heavy-duty stuff. Just be careful.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
>
> Yes I see what you mean. For all those reading my post it is metaphorical only and not meant to imply physical actions of any kind. Inspired by Eastern Religious philosophy.

Cool.

:-)


- Scott

 

Re: NARDIL EPIPHANY GODSENT

Posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 3:06:54

In reply to Re: NARDIL EPIPHANY GODSENT » bulldog2, posted by SLS on May 26, 2010, at 17:41:55

I felt like a poem... after having enourmous anger about my father having prevented me from ever being myself. The whole family was a fake. I never felt love.

But guys what am i becoming here?? This is mentally healthy?

How many people are really mentally healthy? Who can i even talk to about this.
I came to therapy angry like hell... and left with feeling like a poem.
I felt love and joy the first time in my life. I was myself for the first time of my life.

Thats scary stuff^^ anything i need to be caereful with? talking to my family in denial? can i tell them they "have something"??

 

Re: NARDIL EPIPHANY GODSENT » Hunk20

Posted by SLS on May 27, 2010, at 6:14:47

In reply to Re: NARDIL EPIPHANY GODSENT, posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 3:06:54

> Thats scary stuff^^ anything i need to be caereful with? talking to my family in denial? can i tell them they "have something"??

What would come of your confronting your family? Would it change things for the better? Would it serve their best interests or simply relieve you of your anger and resentments? Are they open and ready for change, or entrenched in their dysfunctional dynamics? They might feel like you are shoving guilt down their throats if you explain to them the role their behaviors played in your life.

Your family might have a difficult time encountering and accepting the "new you". To them, you might seem to be acting strangely. It might take some time for them to adapt. Roles might change. Perhaps this is as much as you can expect from them right now.

I don't think there is a universal script that you can follow during this time of change. Don't be in too much of a rush to write it.


- Scott

 

already konfronted my father..

Posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 7:38:36

In reply to Re: NARDIL EPIPHANY GODSENT » Hunk20, posted by SLS on May 27, 2010, at 6:14:47

Yeah.. i wanted to write it to my mom because she is stronger than she thinks she is...

but for some odd reason i wrote it to my father. lol

So he knows what i think about him

 

Re: already konfronted my father..

Posted by SLS on May 27, 2010, at 7:42:05

In reply to already konfronted my father.., posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 7:38:36

> Yeah.. i wanted to write it to my mom because she is stronger than she thinks she is...
>
> but for some odd reason i wrote it to my father. lol
>
> So he knows what i think about him


I hope everything turns out okay.


- Scott

 

Re: already konfronted my father..

Posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 14:42:13

In reply to Re: already konfronted my father.., posted by SLS on May 27, 2010, at 7:42:05

Thanks.. seems like it did for you.

Glad to see that there IS a way out.Glad you made it. I never imagined that this is possible.

Never thought the world could be that beautiful

 

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??

Posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 19:23:23

In reply to Re: already konfronted my father.., posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 14:42:13

Am i becoming nuts or are other people nuts??

Can somebody explain to me what is going on with me?.. I cant be social anymore... im scared when im not in that "i love everything mode. I put "a disturbed child crying for attention on my fbook".. then i got terribly angry about it the next morning. I went to therapy.. and let everything go.. rejected everything in my past and let anger about my parents out. Anger that i never recieved that thing called LOVE and that that made me act like them, which means nuts. I let anger about that out and felt like a poem.

Then i go out and feel LOVE everywhere, didnt even need anything. I was really playful. Is this some kind of inner child healing??

It felt too good to be true.. i dont know who i am anymore. I flip back and forth.

CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME IS SOMEBODY LIKE ME?

 

Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? » Hunk20

Posted by Conundrum on May 27, 2010, at 20:10:32

In reply to WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??, posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 19:23:23

Sounds like what my grandmom went through when she was young and was taking too high a dose. Said she started to have strange thoughts and was going psychotic. I would watch it. You can have too much of a good thing.

 

Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? » Hunk20

Posted by Phillipa on May 27, 2010, at 20:24:10

In reply to WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??, posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 19:23:23

Hunk not sure what your're meaning is mood changing? Phillipa

 

Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? » Hunk20

Posted by hyperfocus on May 27, 2010, at 22:41:18

In reply to WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??, posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 19:23:23

Like Scott said tt's possible what you are experiencing is the premature-euphoria/hypomania that happens when starting Nardil for the first time. It's not a bad thing - it's a very good thing because it's a strong predictor of a positive response to Nardil. But the AD response of Nardil or any AD is not necessarily euphoria - it's a more gradual process. I think the best thing is to be patient and not make any major decisions until after you know how you are responding to the Nardil.

It's also possible that the Nardil is triggering cycling because the underlying illness is not unipolar but bipolar. But only time can tell. Hang in there.

 

Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??

Posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 22:45:56

In reply to Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? » Hunk20, posted by hyperfocus on May 27, 2010, at 22:41:18

It wasnt euphoria it was denial that went away. I took 4 pills 2 days before therapy.

Then i saw that my complete life was a fake. I was a fake, because i got stuck in the hole my father has dug around himself.

I had intense anger when i went to therapy. She listened to me empatheticly and i went out of therapy and she smiled at me when i went out i smiled back.

This is serious progress.

I think i will go up to 3 1/2 for a couple of days, see how it goes and then 4.

For the therapys sake. I am SO close to get out of this nightmaire.

I felt the euphoria in the beginning with 3 pills. Its not the same.

I will try.

By the way i confronted my whole family. I dont care if i get cut financially. I even hope i do. I have money for my education. This SICK F*CK controls everybody with his money.

He even weakened my trust in psychotherapists by breaking the confidentiality rule with my first psychotherapist. Tell me this f*ck is not sick.

 

Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??

Posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 22:48:41

In reply to Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??, posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 22:45:56

its not delusional, its the opposite.

i know it.

 

Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? » Hunk20

Posted by Phillipa on May 27, 2010, at 23:37:35

In reply to Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??, posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 22:48:41

Hunk please keep your Nardil at the dose you doctor prescribed. Please for me as I care. Love Phillipa

 

Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? » Hunk20

Posted by SLS on May 28, 2010, at 0:29:55

In reply to Re: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??, posted by Hunk20 on May 27, 2010, at 22:48:41

> its not delusional, its the opposite.
>
> i know it.

One of the hallmarks of mania is the inability of a person to recognize it when it happens to them. The greater the escalation of the mania, the more resistant a person becomes to others who attempt to advise him of it.

You sound very manic to me.


- Scott

 

Here is the plan

Posted by Hunk20 on May 28, 2010, at 0:37:26

In reply to Re: NARDIL (Phenelzine) 4 weeks in, posted by Hunk20 on May 12, 2010, at 22:47:49

I will take 4 pills 2 days before therapy and then do a 2 hour session. I cant do 4 before that because if i dont speak to someone empathetic feeling the truth is too painful and last time i was really angry. (just a few minutes into therapy that changed. she is VERY good)

Wish me luck

 

Re: Here is the plan

Posted by Hunk20 on May 28, 2010, at 5:52:05

In reply to Here is the plan, posted by Hunk20 on May 28, 2010, at 0:37:26

But who knows that for sure...

maybe i was just nuts for my whole life and so is my family.

This is insane..

 

Re: Here is the plan

Posted by Hunk20 on May 28, 2010, at 5:52:47

In reply to Re: Here is the plan, posted by Hunk20 on May 28, 2010, at 5:52:05

my therapists should know i will trust them

 

Re: Here is the plan » Hunk20

Posted by chujoe on May 28, 2010, at 7:09:02

In reply to Here is the plan, posted by Hunk20 on May 28, 2010, at 0:37:26

Hunk, dude, Phillipa is right -- you should not be messing around with extra amounts of Nardil -- you should be taking what your pdoc prescribed -- you may be feeling great now, but you are very likely to get yourself into serious trouble on the downside if you keep doing this. And it may be that you're going to burn out the med that is helping you -- where will you be then? More is not always better.

 

Re: Here is the plan

Posted by Phillipa on May 28, 2010, at 19:17:02

In reply to Re: Here is the plan » Hunk20, posted by chujoe on May 28, 2010, at 7:09:02

Hunk yes what cujoe says is true. And Scott is very knowledgeable of nardil and I agree you sound very manic. Please seek some help now. Love Phillipa

 

I know what went wrong. wanted too much at once

Posted by Hunk20 on May 30, 2010, at 23:51:03

In reply to Re: NARDIL (Phenelzine) 4 weeks in, posted by Dan_MI on May 14, 2010, at 15:32:40

I was to hard on myself and too hard on my family. I apologize to them thoroughly.

Thats why i felt so high. I went from one extreme into another.

From the pretender to the opposite. I will do sh*t as long as i need it.

Its a lifelong process.

 

Re: I know what went wrong. wanted too much at onc

Posted by Hunk20 on May 31, 2010, at 19:30:58

In reply to I know what went wrong. wanted too much at once, posted by Hunk20 on May 30, 2010, at 23:51:03

I may have sounded very manic, but its also the distress from therapy. Processing Childhood. I will talk to my pdoc about going a bit down on nardil and adding low dose lithium. For safety purposes.

All i want is good support for therapy wich nardil defenitly does.
None of the docs i was visiting said i was manic. Its just an awful load of bad stuff that happened to me when i was a child.

Bringing this to the surface makes me feel the pain again you know.. But you are right i will be more careful and take things slower. Both the Therapy/thinking/writing part and the med part.

I was sverely depressed for big parts of my life

 

Re: I know what went wrong. wanted too much at onc » Hunk20

Posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2010, at 19:37:32

In reply to Re: I know what went wrong. wanted too much at onc, posted by Hunk20 on May 31, 2010, at 19:30:58

Hunk glad your back and so glad to hear that you are taking the correct doseage of nardil. How's the thearphy going? Love Phillipa

 

Re: I know what went wrong. wanted too much at onc

Posted by Hunk20 on June 3, 2010, at 4:57:04

In reply to Re: I know what went wrong. wanted too much at onc » Hunk20, posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2010, at 19:37:32

Therapy was going pretty well.. We got far.

I now went back to my moms place.. better support because it was getting a bit dangerous.
Got to look for good therapists and a psychiatrist now.

I will keep you updated. Eventually i will add low dose lithium to the nardil. Go down to 2 1/2 pill or stick with 3. Will discuss with a german psychiatrist.

 

Re: I know what went wrong. wanted too much at onc » Hunk20

Posted by Phillipa on June 3, 2010, at 18:49:23

In reply to Re: I know what went wrong. wanted too much at onc, posted by Hunk20 on June 3, 2010, at 4:57:04

Hunk your'e back in Germany? How are things going? Phillipa

 

thinking about adding antipsychotic.

Posted by Hunk20 on June 10, 2010, at 13:16:14

In reply to Re: I know what went wrong. wanted too much at onc » Hunk20, posted by Phillipa on June 3, 2010, at 18:49:23

Yes i am back in germany..

I saw too much of the truth in too little time. Nardil a drug of truth to me. I am endlessly thankful it came my way since i had this huge epiphany. And my life will be a way of spiritual growth thats for sure(book "the road less travelled").

I am thinking about taking very low dose nardil and adding a antipsychotic.

One time i lost touch with reality and my mood is just too unstable even though there is a logical explanation for most of it and even doctors cant tell if i am at risk for schizophrenia.. all this stuff that looks psychotic are issues with my father/mother that came to the surface. But its still too much to take.

Any suggestions?


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