Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 884637

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SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?

Posted by Fivefires on March 9, 2009, at 16:27:35

Saw pdoc. Intern whispered to him 'serotonin syndrome' while we were talking. I'm on Eff-XR75, Xanax2 tid, Xanax-XR1mg tid, notriptyline10, and doc just up and won't let me have a Provigil. I want to to do u-know-what. My leg is bouncing up and down fast, breathing all erratic, extremely, beyond my imagination agitated. Help. WTH is happening? I'm scared. I metabolize fast and told him was tolerant to Prov200 and could pls have 2-1/2 tabs; said no. Now I have none. I'm angry and sad and scattered. My whole body is jumpin' around, but rigid at same time. No fever. To what was the idiot intern referring to when he said ss. The addition of nortriptyline? My condition as he observed me? I need answers. Pdoc doesn't return calls. Neither does PCP. Will not go to ER. Going to take a tsp of taurine and check back. I need something bad. What is this? I obey them and they abuse me. I think I'm forgetting what have taken, maybe take another; not sure. Also, I hide meds, for fear person may come over and take to sell. Then I forget where hid. Have run out of hiding places. Did I take too many P or did I hide them; IDK; said one week early. No one will help me. Fam wants me to flip out or OD so I'll be forced into a detox. Damn intern; was he diagnosing me as having already suffered it? What are you like if you have and live to tell about it? All are angry w/ me becuz' I research, exposed bad caseworker behavior. Pdoc said 'you're tryin to run your own treatment'. But, what does he do? Session b4 last he smiled and sat back in his chair and said 'I can't figure you out'. He's never had any brainstorms, suggestions; somebody has to do something. Anyway they don't like that I can function. From injury on oxycodone 10/650 4yrs. Ins. took off formulary and doc replaced w/ oxycontin and I guess I could have been slurring for it; was loopy. Was gonna' get off it that day. Called direc*or about an indicent, not involving any I've spoken of here, but instead about inappropriate behavior on part of my incidcent w/ case manager. I guess she thought my voice was slurred, but failed to say anything or maybe ask me why. She called my daughter and said was sending police to commit me to a county institution. They all came, saw I was fine, and left. It was the oxycontin. Then doc that wrote the oxycodone realized 5/325 was still available, when, I told him! Should have been his first choice. But, he knew I might go to detox becuz' made mention of this. Think he felt scared and wrote 5/325 every 8hrs!??? Isn't that a cut of 3/4??? 10/650 for 4yrs then all of the sudden 5/325 every 8hrs. Idk what to do. No Provigil now for a week. Will not be able to move soon. Won't be able to get out of bed. No one comes to see me. They think tough love will make me go detox. Don't know where Provigil are; either I hid them or accidentally lost threw a packet away. Don't think took. Memory never so horrible. Extreme confusion, agitation, loss of patience. I cannot let this county know what's happening here. Poor county w/ caregivers out to get me. No protection.

5f

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help? Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2009, at 17:14:14

In reply to SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?, posted by Fivefires on March 9, 2009, at 16:27:35

Five Fires sure you're not manic or psychotic? Seriously worried about you. Mayber the ER is the best place to be Assessed. Could have taken too many pills? Love Phillipa

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?

Posted by Fivefires on March 9, 2009, at 22:04:22

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help? Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2009, at 17:14:14

> Five Fires sure you're not manic or psychotic?>

I could be manic, though I have only felt what I suppose to be manic when took 450mg Eff-XR. I was running around like a busy bee all day w/ a visitor here. Woke up the next morning and remembered nothing so called visitor and he said, 'oh, we just talked and you were busy doing your housework'.

Psychotic? What would you mean or how would I identify that I am psychotic??????

I don't think so. All these feelings and thoughts were of being scared I'd not be able to do my NADLs for a whole week and cancel appts. It just freaked me out. And then as below.

>Seriously worried about you. Mayber the ER is the best place to be Assessed.>

No ER.

>Could have taken too many pills?>

>This morn' thought had two Pr*vi*ils and a 3/4. I planned to take one of the two full ones, then I'd have one for tomorrow and a 3/4 for Weds. But, I was distracted by something. I'm having a hard time staying focused on one thing. I came back to find one and a 3/4 there. I took the one 'cuz thought I must have been wrong when first looked this a.m. because I didn't have a glass or water bottle there by them. Maybe I did somehow take one o_o b4 distracted, and returned and thought I'd not done so and took one. As well, I was just then talking to the sec of pdoc and she said they'd not give me any for a week or so, and this really upset me. I have cancelled a neuro Tue and had finally gotten an endo scheduled for Fri but don't know if will make it now. Does anyone know of anything OTC that would help me or website w/ anything?

This depression is so bad, w/o Provigil, won't hardly let me get up; just don't care; and don't care how I look; and don't care what people think; like fed up; like I've given my best and this is what I get? No hope or happiness. Haven't felt happy for over a year for over maybe five minutes. I'm so very scared I'll end up homeless and w/o a man to love and be loved by. I am pretty and nice figure but don't go anywhere because no money and guys these days want to know where you work and they're really into a lot of other things you bring into a relationship, besides love, I think. Don't you? I can't stand to be alone. I don't/didn't/wouldn't choose to be alone. But I am a smoker and I'm into freedom. Children or mother or a sister would have me standing outside in the rain, sleet, snow, hurricanes, just to have a smoke. My mom won't tell me her plans. All sibs employed, have home, 2cars, love. I alone w/ nothing, I guess because I've been wrong about how to be loved. My thinking has always been ... be myself ... no acting ... and if he loves you this way, this is what will make me happy. But, watched a Dr. Phil that says you have to actually do certain things that you don't prefer to do or are unnatural, you have to plan, and you do these things TO KEEP YOUR PARTNER. Like one is acting interested in what he does. Another is complimenting him. If I'm not interested, I guess I've thought it would be like a mistruth to act as if I was and it would show. To compliment someone on something that they've changed or are wearing 'just becuz' it keeps him w/ you' also feels like a mistruth. I mean sometimes I like a smell or a shirt or what a guy is doing and truly like or am interested and I say so. I just didn't know you were supposed to do it a lot, ya' know even when nothing struck you as interesting. I remember my first husband said something when he left. It was, 'You never even came and watched me surfed!' I didn't really get it. Don't we do things because WE enjoy them regardless of what another thinks. Someone should have taught me add in a few sorta 'little white lies' periodically. So, I've had all these long intense relationships, all a bit different, and here I sit alone. Some I ended, some were a toss up. Do you do the 'act interested' and 'compliment' things to keep love?

Feeling better. Took my Xanax-XR and a reg. Xanax.

I told you all about the police too right? I'm scared of 'em. I need a POA w/ (I have 3children) daughters names on. Shall I do a living will ya' think? You see, I am like 'property of the county' right now. They could 'fly ne over the cuckoos nest' at a county or state facility; scary.

Sorry I ran over some of your words.

Tks for stayin' w/ me here Phillipa and all of you. I wish we could have a group hug. I wish I could meet some of you one day. I prob' will be like dead weight in my bed beginning tomorrow and prob' last a good 3-4days. I'll try get back because ...

CAN ANY1 GIVE HINTS RE: POA and/or GUARDIANSHIP? A

OTCs or site if need be my dr puts me in harm's way; I mean very harm, harm's way.

Have sweet dreams

You are all the best

5f
>Love Phillipa>

u2 5f

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help? Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2009, at 0:45:40

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?, posted by Fivefires on March 9, 2009, at 22:04:22

Five Fires seems you're kindda jumpin from one topic to another. What other meds have you taken any? As far as relationships it's a give and take kind of show some interest in what the other is doing and in turn other possibly will do the same. Sharing interests is important in any relationship . Think that's what you meant. I'm assuming POA meand power of attorney? If wrong correct me. Also not sure what you are looking for are you depressed? Looking for med advise, support? Well please get out of bed in the morning and try to do something. Sounds like are able to make phone calls right? Maybe get a second opinion. And maybe providgil isn't what you need right now is that what the secretary of the doc said. Seriously not quite sure what you need other than a hug. ((((((Five Fires)))))))) Hugs feel better? Hope so. Love Phillipa

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?

Posted by Fivefires on March 10, 2009, at 13:55:57

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help? Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2009, at 0:45:40

The depression WILL NOT LIFT! I have become constantly blue. And, my fam' has dumped me until I will go 'get off all medications'. Well they didn't dump, actually they just ignore me. One insults me. One cannot get to me. One is busy. My mother thinks this 'tough love' will prompt me to detox (and it has to be off everything and they told me I'd have to have pain under control and it isn't) and until then, I am sort of the child that didn't succeed; the failure; the bad one; responsible for what has happened to me because of my choices. Yep; I chose 'to dwell'. This never makes sense to me. If a thought comes into my mind, I treat it like any other, either do it or forget it. I don't have some journal listing the traumas of my life so I can find one to 'DWELL' on! And, I can't seek comfort. All but one will allow.

Guess the astrologists were right. This is definite persecution comin' at me from every direction.

Afa Provigil, if they're not going to take into account the tolerance and be as unkind as it is to not give me some when I need to so badly for a very important appt, screw it. I don't want it anyway!

See .. after all these years, and all the pp I know here, you are the only one hanging w/ me. I think I'm dying at a young age and making arrangements because I can't get anyone to take me seriously and fix the imbalances in my body.

It's the endo appt on Fri I really thought might help. But I'm starting to feel tired now. The Provigil is leaving my bod'. Hate to cancel. I really get low; the height of my bed; and just ......... S T A Y there until a bodily necessity occurs.

I want to write a POA because of the armed brigade that came to my house who were told I was slurring and may need to be taken to the county sanitarium. This person I'd called heard my voice and thought it sounded 'slurrish'. 1) This person, I don't think, had ever talked with me before. 2) The person didn't bother to ask me if I was feeling alright?

See, I'm their property! The county's property.

Director just called the police and sent eight cars of them here to take me away.

Right b4 they got here, my mother ran in the door. My daughter called her as the Director had called my daughter, not me. So daughter alerted my mother and me 'they were coming to take me away ho ho hey hey'! (She didn't sing it tho'. Ha?)

She could have had me committed at this county sanitarium in a city 2hrs from here.(?)

I'm not this mentally ill that I need to be in an institution, or, at least I'm not yet.

If I keep feeling no happiness, caregivers are unkind and do not seem committed to helping me regain good feelings and thoughts.

It just occurred to me what's going on. They think I'm borderline and they're just sorta' carrying me along. There's no trying to find a combination to lessen this depression here. There is only ____________ and a family that is only kind to me if they know something I'm going to do is going to possibly hurt me.(?)

There's no one here to 'hug' me.

I'm gettin' drowsy. Can't edit below.

in seeing me regain a good life, and fam' ignores, some strength and not and family ignores me, they are unkind to take me away!!!I would have said 'yep, formulary ditched hydrocodone 10/650 and my pdoc put me on oxycontin and I feel a little lala'ish. Instead, she took it upon herself, a woman who has never even met me, to threaten me with commitment!!! I don't have a man or woman to stand in front of me and say she is fine. Back off. I'm alone, and if they pull some crazy stunt like this again, I'd better have a POA so someone else can tell them to back off, ... because I sorta' freeze up and find it difficult to speak when many armed men come walking towards me in my living room :-[.

Pls stay w/ me Phillipa and all; I'm going nowhere too fast.

tks, 5f

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help? Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2009, at 19:26:58

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?, posted by Fivefires on March 10, 2009, at 13:55:57

Five Fires sorry getting confused when did they try and take you away? Love Phillipa

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?

Posted by desolationrower on March 11, 2009, at 1:38:42

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?, posted by Fivefires on March 10, 2009, at 13:55:57

hi 5f,

there is some question if borderline is a form of bipolar depression. i know i am not as passionate as you seem to be when i'm depressed. i don't mean that its a bad thing, but you seem very stressed out at the same time, which make me think bipolar could be an issue for you. I know you've been around a while so maybe you've had people tell you various things before, i can't remember sorry.

have you ever tried lamotrigine or even lithium?

antidepressants may not work well for bipolar depression - although modafinil is actually one that might be better. often they can make depression worse, or trigger mania.

have you a look at http://www.psycheducation.org/index.html and the 'soft bipolar' page, the checklist.

hope things work out with your kid.

-d/r

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?

Posted by polarbear206 on March 11, 2009, at 15:37:02

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?, posted by desolationrower on March 11, 2009, at 1:38:42

> hi 5f,
>
> there is some question if borderline is a form of bipolar depression. i know i am not as passionate as you seem to be when i'm depressed. i don't mean that its a bad thing, but you seem very stressed out at the same time, which make me think bipolar could be an issue for you. I know you've been around a while so maybe you've had people tell you various things before, i can't remember sorry.
>
> have you ever tried lamotrigine or even lithium?
>
> antidepressants may not work well for bipolar depression - although modafinil is actually one that might be better. often they can make depression worse, or trigger mania.
>
> have you a look at http://www.psycheducation.org/index.html and the 'soft bipolar' page, the checklist.
>
> hope things work out with your kid.
>
> -d/r

5f,

Listen to the advice we have been giving you. Do the research. This is an excellent site d has refered you to.

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?

Posted by Phillipa on March 11, 2009, at 22:52:45

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?, posted by polarbear206 on March 11, 2009, at 15:37:02

Five Fires If you've been only on own meds and not others totally agree bipolar. Love Phillipa

 

Med Induced hypothyroid?.. EVERYTHING MY FAULT!?

Posted by Fivefires on March 12, 2009, at 14:16:22

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help? Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2009, at 19:26:58

> Five Fires sorry getting confused when did they try and take you away? Love Phillipa>

When ins. took oxycodone 10/650 off formulary, was given oxycontin, which was awful as it made me very sad. Called pcp and was about to switch to oxycodone 5/325, when an issue w/ case mgr came up and I called to report it to the director. W/o inquiring why she thought my voice was 'slurred' (I'd have told her it was due to Oxycontin!), told my daughter was sending authorities to take me to county. Daughter said no. She said do you have POA 'cuz if don't we can. All these officers came here and started to roam about and I was fine, told them this, and when they started poking around, looking around, I asked if they had a search warrant (haha;couldn't think what else to say). Believe they were as confused as I was, as to why they were here.

Subject - Thyroid low even on Armour thyroid, sooo tired, anemic, appt w/ endo tomorrow. Invalidated by fam' in this way: 'All your probs' are due to the meds you take!' Makes me feel bad, like a drug abuser, like an addict.

I believe you all know my dx is PTSD. Have bad anxiety, now agoraphobia and this, I guess called major depressive episode, has lasted over a year. So, am I bad because I take meds to try help?

Then medical issues like c-spine injury. The narcotic. I'm very bad for taking this.

Oh, and Provigil, I should be so ashamed. At this point, I wanna tell 'em to take it and stick it youknowwhere.

All of this invalidation is killing me.

Labs show anemia, and more, but appt 2moro w/ endo for hypothyroid. Will he say you have it because 'you take all these meds', like everyone else does?

It could well be my thyroid has been low for many years and I've never known, as never tested thoroughly until now, or, I suppose it's possible one or more of my meds could induce or further hypothyroidism.

Scared to have one dr take away this or that w/o communicating w/ other dr. There is a refusal on the psych end to connect and/or speak to medical issues, and vice versa. I give them auths and they refuse!

Feel like all just want to 'wash their hands of me'.

bad 5f!

 

Endo HypoThyr Anxiety Agitation Fatigue

Posted by Fivefires on March 12, 2009, at 15:36:35

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help? Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2009, at 19:26:58

The lab sheet didn't have 'all the necessary thyroid tests' checked.

Remember I was asking you all which were really necessary? Well, anyway, tks to Phillipa and others' knowledge, I had them finally done. I mean for the first time in my freakin' life!

Tks so much. I'd never known.

5f

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?

Posted by Fivefires on March 12, 2009, at 15:44:32

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?, posted by polarbear206 on March 11, 2009, at 15:37:02

> > hi 5f,
> >
> > there is some question if borderline is a form of bipolar depression. i know i am not as passionate as you seem to be when i'm depressed. i don't mean that its a bad thing, but you seem very stressed out at the same time, which make me think bipolar could be an issue for you. I know you've been around a while so maybe you've had people tell you various things before, i can't remember sorry.
> >

Hey PB. No dr has ever dx'd me bipolar.

> > have you ever tried lamotrigine or even lithium?>

I'm afraid I'd not go near lithium for any reason cuz' horror stories I've heard.

> > antidepressants may not work well for bipolar depression>

But no one has dx'd me bipolar. Currently PTSD, atypical depression, think pdoc dropped off the borderline.

> although modafinil is actually one that might be better. often they can make depression worse, or trigger mania.<

It does sort of trigger an agitated feeling alongside the wakefulness.


> > have you a look at http://www.psycheducation.org/index.html and the 'soft bipolar' page, the checklist.
> >

I will try PB

> > hope things work out with your kid.> >

Sorry no respond earlier. Very anxious.

> > -d/r>

Hi again -d/r

> 5f,

> Listen to the advice we have been giving you. Do the research. This is an excellent site d has refered you to.>

I am trying so hard, but w/ so much agitation and anxiety it's very difficult for me to stay out of bed and then when get up, to stay focused.

tks 5f

 

Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help? Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on March 12, 2009, at 20:17:50

In reply to Re: SS??? or What??? Losin' It Real Bad - Help?, posted by Fivefires on March 12, 2009, at 15:44:32

Five Fires would not think the meds you've taken have messed up thyroid but stess can. When do you get the results back? Sounds like you got out of the house today. Phillipa

 

Re: Med Induced hypothyroid?.. EVERYTHING MY FAULT!?

Posted by desolationrower on March 12, 2009, at 20:51:56

In reply to Med Induced hypothyroid?.. EVERYTHING MY FAULT!?, posted by Fivefires on March 12, 2009, at 14:16:22

hey

if you have a university close by, if there is a law scshool there they might have community program to help with custody cases. my sister is in law school right now and does some work with that, with forms for things, helping people know what procedures will occur and how to prepare, thigns like that. maybe that kind of thing could help?

-d/r


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