Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 815089

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Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE (nm)

Posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 14:03:00

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE » AMY II, posted by yxibow on February 28, 2008, at 8:38:25

 

Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE » bissie66

Posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 14:06:33

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE, posted by bissie66 on February 28, 2008, at 14:00:10

The side effects I have seen for AP's are sickening. Irreversible TD, among other things. No thanks! Can't I request an EEG, PET Scan, some blood work, a spinal tap, and whatever else so that we can be sure of what we are dealing with here?? No harm in doing the tests once right??

 

Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE

Posted by bissie66 on February 28, 2008, at 14:12:20

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE » bissie66, posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 14:06:33

I don't know, I'm a quick-relief person I guess. I'd get the tests, but I couldn't wait for the results to get some relief. I don't know how you can stand the symptoms you describe. You must be one tough cookie. I don't know anything about the side effects you're talking about. (I don't even know what TD stands for.) Tons of people on this board take AP's. The SE's are probably, as usual, when one takes extremely high doses. I take Seroquel infrequently and usually 25 mg at the most. That's a tiny dose. It's a potent drug.

 

Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! AMY

Posted by brooke484 on February 28, 2008, at 14:17:45

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE! » brooke484, posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 0:30:03

I have major depression with anxiety and I also have the derealization you're experiencing. It started after I had a panic attack back in 1993. I had all of the tests and bloodwork, but the only thing they found was a pituitary tumor which is not the cause. I was hoping it was but it isn't. Have you ever had your thyroid checked? That can make you feel anxious and depressed too. When my TSH is too high the dream like feelings are worse. The only two meds that helped me were Lexapro in 2002 and Imipramine back in 1993. Paxil helped somewhat and so did Klonopin, but they don't anymore.

What I meant by feeling insane was that the DR is very intense right now and that is what makes me feel like I'm going nuts, even though I'm not. Also, when my depression is really bad the dreamlike state is worse also. It all goes hand in hand. Meds are the only thing that took these feelings away.

brooke

 

Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE » bissie66

Posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 15:52:54

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE, posted by bissie66 on February 28, 2008, at 14:12:20

Td is that Tardive Dyskensia or something like that. A side effect of anti psycotic meds. It causes, sometimes permenant, involuntary movement in the jaw, tongue, eyes, etc. SCARY.

The PDOC is say .25 mg a day for Risperdal. I think he is jumping the gun.

Help me find weird symptoms of seizure and epilepsy.

 

Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! AMY » brooke484

Posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 15:55:40

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! AMY, posted by brooke484 on February 28, 2008, at 14:17:45

You sound somewhat like what I am going through. Mix that with OCD of disgusting tormenting, bloody thoughts and acute anxiety and no wonder I feel frickin NUTS.

I hate this and just want some answers. I don't like that the Pdoc has said there is an element of psycosis here. Huh? Doesn't rule out anything just jumps right into that and offers up an anti psychotic that can give me irreversible side effects....

 

Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! AMY » brooke484

Posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 16:32:04

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! AMY, posted by brooke484 on February 28, 2008, at 14:17:45

Could Someone out there look up actual people that have weird symptoms that turned out to be epilepsy or seizure disorder and compare it to mine? See if maybe there is a connection and maybe I could talk with someone that may have the same symptoms and was misdiagnosed? Help!

 

Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE!

Posted by chiron on March 1, 2008, at 10:45:53

In reply to PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE!, posted by AMY II on February 27, 2008, at 23:16:10

Hi Amy, sorry for your pain.
I haven't had any of the weird visual problems, but I did have some weird neurological/ anxiety/ spacey/ in-another-world feelings. It started about a year ago after an emsam trial. I tapered off, and wasn't on any meds for about a week, then took a small dose of neurontin. That night I felt a little strange. Then next night I was driving home & started feel like I had little control over my muscles. I stopped the neurontin. Over the next week the spacey & weird feelings got worse. Sometimes I wondered if I would be able to drive to work. Then I went home early because the "weird" feelings were getting intense. I don't know how to describe them, but they were uncomfortable & scary. They continued to get worse & when my hands clenched & I couldn't move them I went to the ER. They gave me xanax, said I should talk to my dr. about getting an MRI, and let me go.
I wondered if I had MS, Epilepsy, etc. I have more sympathy for those diseases & parkinsons. My MRI was normal. My anxiety was increasing, and was worse in the morning. I always woke up at 5:30 with it racing. I would go jogging, which didn't help. My stomach was anxious & nauseaus. I hated the in-between sleep stage because I had other "weird" awful feelings. I was worse pre-menstrually.
Xanax definitely helped, especially the long-acting one. But what actually I think helped more is taking birth control. I was afraid to take it because I have had bad experiences before, but I wanted to try again to even out my hormone fluctuations. A few days after starting Yaz I calmed a little, and after a week or two I had improved somewhat. I started not waking up @ 5:30, etc. So for about 6 months now I haven't had those extreme problems. Still deal with depression, and still take 2mg of long-acting Xanax. My hormones aren't completely stable, but they are getting better. I am on Yasmin now.

So, I just thought I would tell my story and that maybe hormones would help. I also would have a strange back of my throat, neck tingling that would be associated with these weird feelings. It was definitely a weird neurological thing, but hormones all play into it. (for me I swear it was the small dose of neurontin that was a factor in the trigger, but dr.'s don't see how that would cause it)

 

Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE! » chiron

Posted by AMY II on March 1, 2008, at 12:52:21

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE!, posted by chiron on March 1, 2008, at 10:45:53

You sound alot like me in many ways. Did you read my previous posts under "Dialated eyes, weird feeling in my head"? And then in 2002, 2005, I posted some stuff too, all under Amy II.

I have had irregular periods my whole life (since 13) and as I came into adulthood suffered from excessive facial hair. Not like an ape or anything but, I it's noticable if I don't wax it off. I have been obsessed by the way I look since I can remember, picking at every little thing and every little stretch mark I got along the way. :) After being an exotic dancer, which made me feel beautiful personally, I gained so much weight taking anti depressants. It seemed the "hair" situation got worse too.

So I did laser treatment which is wonderful by the way, but you do need to keep doing them every few months. I just did it once and the hair was gone for about 5 months.

Sorry to ramble about that, anyway, I am scared of birth control pills because I have taken them in the past and they haven't regulated my period but I am sure would help hormonely. I occasionally smoke too and I am afraid of a heart attack or stroke.

I TOO notice that my symptoms are FAR WORSE right before I start my period.

Xanax helps me and my doc wants to put me either on zanax slow release or klonopin. I think maybe I will try it ( currently take 1-2mg of zanax a day) but still just feel like if someone could cut at the base of my skull, everything would lighten up, straighten out, and become clear again. It's weird. I hate it, and I don't like Pdocs.

He wants to talk about my childhood. OK, had it a little rough, lived in the ghetto with my Mom, was one of the only white kids in my school, had friends, mom went out alot, left us at daycare overnight (they had a 24 hour daycare where I lived),went to school in the same clothes, never had a clean house, never had dinner together, she brought men home and I could hear her having sex with them, but when she was around she was a good Mom. I loved her. We fought, but who doesn't at that age. I was molested by her brother and her sisters husband in the span of 2 years. Never raped but made to fondle her brother (never told my mom until I was older) and my Mom's sisters husband tried to put his tongue in my mouth when I was 12. I also had a daycare owner (male) put me on his lap when i was in the 4th or 5th grade and asked me if I could feel his penis underneath his jeans and asked me if I liked it. I had a 19 year old couple that lived next door that came over to hang out with my Mom sometimes ( I was 9) and I remember he was drunk trying to use the phone in my Mom's room and needed help. I went in there and he wanted me to sit on his lap, then fondled my breast and kissed me and told me how beautiful I was.

I felt like this was my fault, that I must be doing this for so many people to have done this to me as a child.

This is just the tip of the iceburg. Is this suppose to help me with this diagnosis he has given me "for now" he says.

Antidismal or peridismal or something like that anxiety disorder.

Ugh.

 

***CSA triggers in above post*** (nm)

Posted by 10derHeart on March 1, 2008, at 17:35:18

In reply to Re: PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE! » chiron, posted by AMY II on March 1, 2008, at 12:52:21

 

Re: ***CSA triggers in above post*** » 10derHeart

Posted by AMY II on March 1, 2008, at 23:33:43

In reply to ***CSA triggers in above post*** (nm), posted by 10derHeart on March 1, 2008, at 17:35:18

There was nothing in your post. What does CSA triggers in above post mean???

--Amy II

 

oops, I'm sorry Amy... » AMY II

Posted by 10derHeart on March 2, 2008, at 1:02:35

In reply to Re: ***CSA triggers in above post*** » 10derHeart, posted by AMY II on March 1, 2008, at 23:33:43

I think I was thinking you'd been posting on Babble for a long time, including recently, but now I think I was mixing you up with someone else. I recall now you said you've been a frequent poster (paraphrasing here) but have been away for quite a while? Is that right?

If so, then my "trigger warning" (that's what the community has come to call what I did) wouldn't make a whole lot of sense - sorry.

CSA = Child Sexual Abuse

Although it's not a *formal* guideline (not enforced by admin) some Babblers have requested when we post about certain commonly triggering (i.e., upsetting, distressing) subjects we put a warning in the subject line. That way, those who are sensitive to that topic can choose not to open the post, so they won't be surprised by what they'll read. We've been doing that for some time by using the word "trigger" along with the general subject matter. When someone forgets, often another poster will post a message just below if possible (just the subject line) adding the warning. That's what I did.

And I am so very sorry that those ADULTS abused you - AN INNOCENT CHILD that way - it was so not, not, not your fault. Children are precious gifts to be protected, loved, nurtured and cared for by ALL adults - not used to fulfill their alleged "needs" or "desires." I know one person saying that won't begin to heal the pain, but I had to anyway.

Other examples might be graphic descriptions of violence, any type of abuse (physical, sexual) mentioning of specific suicide methods, etc. Obviously, we can't know everything that could be triggering for others to read, but we've tried to consistently post warnings about things like CSA, which, sadly, is a common experience for a number of posters here.

Hope that explains it - and sorry if that was rude or jarring - I was in a hurry and didn't think that through very well.

-- 10derHeart

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » 10derHeart

Posted by AMY II on March 2, 2008, at 1:36:10

In reply to oops, I'm sorry Amy... » AMY II, posted by 10derHeart on March 2, 2008, at 1:02:35

Gotcha. Because I didn't have anythingin the subject line that would let anyone know that I was going into detail about CSA, they might have opened it, and could have caused emotional distress for them.

I posted here for a while 9 years ago when everything came on all of a sudden after an x trip. Did drugs recreationally prior to the x trip with no side effects. But with this x trip (did it 3 times and pressure from a boyfriend to do it with him) I have never been the same. It's deep and a long story, which has been posted over several years here under AMY II. I think I even had a couple of posts under Amy once in 1999. Not sure.

Here is how I am feeling now.

Feeling sh*tty. Not wanting to take this hydrocodone for my arms anymore. Thinking that "hey maybe it's better", so I don't take it and by the end of about 10 hours my arms are driving me absolutely mad and I feel like surges of adreneline in my chest. ( I had cortizone shots in both my elbows for tendonitis 5 weeks ago and I started having what feels like adrenline surges, restless arm syndrome if you will ever since) God, what else?

I have tightness in my head (not like a headache) and had a flash of light out of my left eye. Lower back feeling numb down to my tail bone.

Thinking to myself, "Great, what if my arm thing is just something I have to deal with now too for the rest of my life and won't ever stop bothering me?"

I am afraid to think of anything for fear it will stay there and never go away. Like now that I have this arm thing, will it ever go away. I have the head thing, will it ever go away. Since we have discovered that I probably, no I definately, have OCD components to my "disorder" if I "think" of anything I may never get it out of my head or think normally about it ever again.

Then I think "I am not fuckin crazy, my arms DO feel restless, I DO feel surges in them and in my chest that I think are related, I DO feel numbness in my lower back down to my tailbone and I DO feel pressure in my head. DAMNIT!"

Screw this crazy psychiatrist sh**, what if it makes me worse??? What if it makes me feel like I have more problems than I really do? What if I put my life in this Hospital's hands and it ends up biting me in the a**?? Maybe that's why people are afraid to see a shrink. Because they "Look" for something psychologically to be wrong, even if you come and there isn't anything.

I think of horror stories you hear on TV of kids being taken away, lives being destroyed, because the system got it all wrong. Am I gonna wind up one of those cases? My Pdoc says "You don't drive the bus" and "you don't control your treatment" and "that's not how medicine works". This is bothering me a great deal. I happen not to agree. That gave me a sickening feeling of not being in control of my own life. That I have broken the seal and now I don't call the shots of what happens to me. The way my pdoc put it was that "I give input" to help but that's it.

Sorry, but that is the FIRST I have heard a doctor say anything like that to me. It is MY LIFE, and if I feel that something is bothering me and if I feel that something is wrong then I have a RIGHT to ask, especially if NOTHING and I mean NOTHING else has given me any kind of right answers.

I find it peculiar how my pdoc will jump to "hmmm....there may be a component of psychosis here," after 2 visits, then jump out of that diagnosis as fast as he jumped into it, but finds it unrealistic to ask for a couple of tests to rule out something that is really bothering me?

He uses the word "atypical" alot when talking to me yet, when I mention doing something that may be "atypical" in finding an answer, that is "not the way medicine" works. Let's put her on an antipsycotic instead. Isn't computing for me....

As you can see, I am frusterated. Very. My pdoc tells me while I am in a very upset state of mind, crying, pissed, and saying that "either way I end up dead, if I take the medicine I am asked to take, I gain weight which causes heart disease and a slew of other problems, if I don't take the meds, hell I may end up losing it." He says, "well how about die with some hope?" And then, "Do you think I was gonna have an answer for you after a month?"

Sooo, feeling very discouraged and was hoping that with every week I would be more optomistic and feel more like I have someone rooting for me, caring.

Who knows, my pdoc may need to go into whatever his "specialty" is going to be next year and I may be dumped to another pdoc anyway.

Why do I feel more hopeless than when I started? I feel like I have gone backwards instead of forwards.

I requested (the way I always have since I started taking 2mg of zanax a day in September) from the pharamacy to fax over the request to the Doctor in the previous state I lived in. Has always filled it for me, this time, gives me 24 pills instead of the 60 I get every month. Did my pdoc have a talk with him? Why is he doing that now? Seems peculiar to me. So, since I am not "driving the bus" I have to resort back to going to emergency rooms every day after this zanax script runs out because my pdoc wants to get me off of the one drug that has managed to hold me in tact, barely so I can search for other answers as to what is wrong with me. I should use Klonopin instead he says. I am starting to feel like this is going to be a pissing contest and a control issue and I am not into it....

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT???

Posted by Basia on March 2, 2008, at 15:34:14

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » 10derHeart, posted by AMY II on March 2, 2008, at 1:36:10

I have had some of the symptoms you described - including the anxiety, traces, black lines and slight oil slick 'auras' around people. This all started after I took acid and ecstacy when I was 18 and developed into flashbacks whenever I took anything remotely psychoactive like anti-depressants, etc (have been scared off any illicit drugs for years!). Sulpiride stopped it for many years but it has returned again now that I have switched to Seroquel. It's making me quite desperate although I am not delusional. It is all visual/perceptual distortion, as in a bad acid trip. In the UK, we call it post-hallucinogen perceptual disorder and it also includes these electrical rushes and shaking i get at the same time. At least that's what my psychiatrist initially diagnosed it as, after talking to the pharmacologist. It's quite rare, apparently. It's further complicated with me by having schizoaffective symptoms when off medication and I once had a manic episode years ago and was sectioned under the Mental Health Act for a while.

I don't know how benzos react with you and I certainly wouldn't advocate their long-term use, but I find a bit of Lorazepam (Ativan) takes the edge of the visuals and the anxiety. It's important to wait until it's bad otherwise I find that if I take it regularly I just get used to it. A small dose of an AP that suits you also helps, although I know you're not keen on this.

I am so sorry you're having such a tough time of it and can empathise to some degree, although I can't imagine how hard it must be when you have children to rear too.

Best of luck :)

Lyn

 

link re post hallucinogen perceptual disorder

Posted by Basia on March 2, 2008, at 15:37:39

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » 10derHeart, posted by AMY II on March 2, 2008, at 1:36:10

Hi

Further to my previous post, here is a link I found on the net that might help.

http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/hppd.htm


Take care

Lyn

 

Re: link re post hallucinogen perceptual disorder

Posted by yxibow on March 2, 2008, at 18:39:12

In reply to link re post hallucinogen perceptual disorder, posted by Basia on March 2, 2008, at 15:37:39

> Hi
>
> Further to my previous post, here is a link I found on the net that might help.
>
> http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/hppd.htm
>
>
> Take care
>
> Lyn

And of course wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HPPD

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » Basia

Posted by AMY II on March 2, 2008, at 23:58:36

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT???, posted by Basia on March 2, 2008, at 15:34:14

This is very helpful and I have forwarded this information onto my pdoc.

However, I never hallucinated on the drugs that I took. I took acid one time and had minor hallucinations with that, but other than that never...

I fear I have damaged my brain permenantly and there is nothing we can do about it....

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT???

Posted by Basia on March 3, 2008, at 1:14:43

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » Basia, posted by AMY II on March 2, 2008, at 23:58:36

I'm glad you found it helpful. There is evidence to suggest that these symptoms can fade with time or just recur when they are triggered by stressors just as lack of sleep, alcohol, soft or hard drugs, stress and depression. As with any condition, it is important to keep healthy, sleep well and avoid any mind-altering substances, including alcohol as this can often make symptoms much worse.

There seem to be a few forums on the net that could help you and contributors range from having mild to severe symptoms. Just type in HPPD or post hallucinogen perceptual disorder.

My symptoms went away for years and my GP only thinks they have returned because I have been put on Seroquel. Some APs can worsen it apparently, even if they tend to calm the mind down.

I am not sure whether you need to have had out and out hallucinations to get it, but it is becoming clear that MDMA can trigger it as much as acid. I myself only took acid twice and Ecstacy 4 times before I began to get symptoms. Rather frustrating when you hear about people dropping every pill under the rainbow for years and feeling fine!

Take care

Lyn

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » Basia

Posted by AMY II on March 3, 2008, at 14:12:33

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT???, posted by Basia on March 3, 2008, at 1:14:43

Thank you for your input. It has been helpful. I can deal with the possibility that I have HPPD, OCD (because of the gory horrific thoughts that I have that occur when I am in an "attack" or "episode", and acute anxiety disorder with panic disorder. geese. Here is the BIG one though that I just can't seem to get answers for.

The feelings. The physical feelings that I have when these things occur and just prior to them occuring. These physical feelings or "urges"? of just losing it. Going out of control. My mind is everywhere, and not the normal everywhere. It isn't thinking straight, is all over the place, and I feel like I have to sit still so I don't go crazy. I will sit on the couch or in bed with my husband and just lose it internally. I have these horrible feelings in my head. Physcial feelings, pressure, etc. (I have posted it all before here, it gets tiresome having to write it over and over again ya know?)

Not calm, pressure in the base of neck, my body feeling like it wants to jump out of my skin, rollercoaster type feelings, my brain feeling like it is being pulled up or "rising" from inside to the top of my skull. And the worse which is what seems to set the rest rolling is this...well the only way I can describe it is this swooshing all over my body like it feels when you free base cocaine or meth. It's not exactly like that and I don't like to use that analogy because it makes me sound like a junky, but it is kind of like that.

These feelings continue through these attacks and some are still there even after I take zanax. I am just scared to death that one day I am gonna be in one of these episodes and that I will never come out of it.

I think I should get on a med soon. Should I try clomipramine?

Should I take effexor again and just take the beta blocker for my high blood pressure, irregular heart beats and irregular ekgs it gives me? I almost feel like it would be worth it I swear.

I am just scared to death. I feel like the longer I am not on the medicine the harder it is going to be to fix me.

I have this thing going on with my arms now (had cortizone shots put in both elbows for tendonitis and a week after that I have these surges of adreneline running through them and I feel like I could do push ups all day and they would never tire, I can spin them round and round and shake them continuously and could do it all day. The only thing that works is hydrocodone or oxycodone. Tried requip, forget that stuff. I felt worse!!

I feel like maybe my mental illness is making it a bigger deal than it is, or maybe not.

I know I have NEVER felt this kind of stuff in my arms before and the doc said he could have got the shot into part of my muscle instead of my tendons and because cortizone is a steroid it could be giving me these symptoms. So how long does it take for the shot to wear off. It has been 6 weeks and I am going crazy.

What if he stops prescribing the hydrocodone for my arm bcause he thinks its all in my head because he knows I am seeing a pdoc now. ITS NOT! I hate taking pills anyway and would rather not have to take painkillers to sooth my arms. But that is what works.

I had acl replacement surgery in my knee in November so my body is use to having to take this hydrocodone and can tolerate it at high doses. I don't really even feel the dizzy feeling in my head anymore I can just feel the differene in my arms. I was on percocet for quite a while then down to 7.5 mg of hydrocodone. I have to take 4-6 a day.

I want this to end! I don't need to be worrying about my arms now. I will never get the shots again.

Could anybody find similar symptoms like this with cortizone shots?

 

Hi, just read the post... » AMY II

Posted by sometimesblue on March 4, 2008, at 12:14:29

In reply to PSYCHOSIS????? ANXIETY!!! OCD!!!HELP ME PLEASE!, posted by AMY II on February 27, 2008, at 23:16:10

Some of the symptoms you talk about, like the "squared, tiny" colors things, i experienced after have a bad withdrawal effect from a muscle relaxer...also the feeling that you're going crazy, hearing things...basically paranoya with hallucinations.

As far as the numbness in the back and legs...you said you tried ecstacy? Ecstacy [from what i learned] stays in your central nervous system [your spine or something] that may be messing with your nerves. I have an aherniated disc and I get the SAME exact feelings [numbness in my back, like just in a patch of my back, and my legs/thighs] the doctor told me it's the damaged nerve causing this.

The spacy floaty feeling sounds like a panic attack, not anxiety. I have had several full blown [horrible] panic attacks and suffered the same symptoms you describe. FYI: the worst attack was when I had that withdrawal episode, the withdrawal triggered the panic attack. And it was like a panic attack on steroids, I thought I was going to die or go crazy...I had audio hallucinations, I felt spacy, I didn't want to close my eyes because i saw colors and shapes and everytime I closed my eyes I thought I would die...

It seems to me [and I'm no expert of course] that whatever drug you tried has stayed with you. And the panic attacks/paranoya your having are side effects from it, as well as making the episode worse. But it's in no way psychosis...you seem very capable of describing what you feel and those suffering from psychosis are rarely able to describe it.

Also, I know you said you don't use anymore, but because everyone's body make-up is different, even the slightest exposure to MDMA could cause long lasting brain damage. Have you ever had a cat scan? There are also certain blood tests that can be done to detect brain damage or spinal infection. Maybe an MRI to determine if the nummbness is related to any spinal injury or aggrivation you've suffered. You may have a couple of things going on here.

I hope this bit of info helps...and you're not alone, I've been there myself and it's like stepping into hell...

-sb

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » AMY II

Posted by sometimesblue on March 4, 2008, at 12:41:57

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » Basia, posted by AMY II on March 3, 2008, at 14:12:33

These feelings you describe are like the feelings I had from the withdrawal [posted on my previous post]...it sounds exactly the same. Everything from the physical feelings to the "urges" or fear that you're going to lose it. I think the feeling that you describe like "free-basing" is like you're going to float/fly away? Sound right? Because that's how I felt...everytime I closed my eyes, like I was going to fall or fly or float, something...it's hard to explain.

The only diffrence is the pressure on the base of the neck, that happens to me from time to time and my doctor told me it stress related, whever I feel stressed it comes on. Might be why you're getting it during these episodes, too much stress on your body.

Btw, the post from Basia is right on. It's nice to find help on babble, somtimes doctors just don't get it.

> The feelings. The physical feelings that I have when these things occur and just prior to them occuring. These physical feelings or "urges"? of just losing it. Going out of control. My mind is everywhere, and not the normal everywhere. It isn't thinking straight, is all over the place, and I feel like I have to sit still so I don't go crazy. I will sit on the couch or in bed with my husband and just lose it internally. I have these horrible feelings in my head. Physcial feelings, pressure, etc.

> Not calm, pressure in the base of neck, my body feeling like it wants to jump out of my skin, rollercoaster type feelings, my brain feeling like it is being pulled up or "rising" from inside to the top of my skull. And the worse which is what seems to set the rest rolling is this...well the only way I can describe it is this swooshing all over my body like it feels when you free base cocaine or meth. It's not exactly like that and I don't like to use that analogy because it makes me sound like a junky, but it is kind of like that.

> These feelings continue through these attacks and some are still there even after I take zanax. I am just scared to death that one day I am gonna be in one of these episodes and that I will never come out of it.
>

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » sometimesblue

Posted by AMY II on March 4, 2008, at 13:07:59

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » AMY II, posted by sometimesblue on March 4, 2008, at 12:41:57

Saw the neurologist today about my arms. (see my posts) and he said he thought that it was more likely that I have increased stimuli in my arms when I stopped the hydrocodone. Of course hedoesn't offer me to stay on hydrocodone until these awful feelings in my arms goes away. He thinks that it might be making it worse. Feels fine while I am on the hydrocodone but gives me increased sensitivity in the injected sites and down my arm where the cortisone shots were. He says that hydrocodone works on your dopamine so he thinks I am just aggrivating it by staying on the hydrocodone.

He also asked how the psychiatrist was going. I told him 5 appointments and no meds prescribed. He goes with one then retracts. He jumps right to an anti psychotic then says never mind. He says lets try clompipramine but it has bad side effects and weight gain.

Doesn't want to give me a regular script for zanax (the only thing that holds my sanity together and especially during major attacks) He wants to prescrib zanax slow release or klonopin. NOt into the klonopina and frankly, not into having zanax in my body 24/7 I take zanax frequently now because I have nothing else on board.

So, neurologist said, hang in there, stay off hydrocodone, and offerd me Lexapro. He said he hated seeing how I was suffering.

He is just so much more confident, being a doc for 20 years versus me seeing a 2nd year psych resident that just doesn't seem to know what the hell he is doing and is more impressed with his name DR and making sure I know it, than he is at being concerned in helping me.

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT???

Posted by sometimesblue on March 4, 2008, at 14:08:36

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » sometimesblue, posted by AMY II on March 4, 2008, at 13:07:59

That sucks...some doctors are more liberal with drugs than others, mostly because they don't want to run the risk of getting themselves in trouble by prescribing something that can potentially be addicting. Yet, that leaves those that need them in misery. Maybe you should switch doctors? Someone with more years under his belt might be better able to understand and help you. As far as the xanax, I'm not sure you can get a regular script for it [if by regular you mean the one that's refillable], those scrits have to be picked up monthly at the doctors office.

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » sometimesblue

Posted by AMY II on March 4, 2008, at 18:09:48

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT???, posted by sometimesblue on March 4, 2008, at 14:08:36

only oxycodone and the stronger pain killers have to be picked up that I know of. My zanax gets refilled right at the pharmacy. I call them and ask to fax a refill request and the doctor ok's it. I don't have to pick that up at the office.

 

Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » AMY II

Posted by Phillipa on March 4, 2008, at 19:21:28

In reply to Re: PSYCOSIS!!! ANXIETY!!! OCD!!! WHAT??? » sometimesblue, posted by AMY II on March 4, 2008, at 18:09:48

Mine checks the box for two or three refills. Can't be abused as I'd run out if tried to fill to early. Phillipa all benzos as I take valium now. Can you believe in the 70's when started valium it was an open ended prescription just fill it and in the hospital when a patient went home they dumped unused meds for pharmach in a box and always a benzo or two or three there. I guess they changed control since then.


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