Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 815112

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Re: Amy short follow up AMY II

Posted by bleauberry on February 28, 2008, at 18:16:39

In reply to FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOCS, posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 0:43:21

I apologize Amy for the long post. Didn't mean to overwhelm you with so much stuff. It all is real important though.

I'm like you. Massive symptoms that flare up on their own. History of over 20 psych drugs and combos. Also did ECT. After all was said and done, I was worse than before.

The most important thing to me is to somehow remain capable as a parent. That means I have to reach for a drug, even though I hate it, when I know the time calls for it. Might be xanax, klonopin, zyprexa, milnacipran, ritalin, lunesta. They all serve a quick purpose at the right time. Can't tolerate anything on a day to day basis. But I can function and focus on two things...healing, kids.

Thanks to a brilliant Nurse Practioner I discovered something very foreign and weird to me. I am mercury and lead toxic. Mercury from amalgams. Lead is a mystery. My favorite drug is DMSA since it pulls those evil metals out. There have been times on it I felt so close to normal it was scary and giddy at the same time. Amazing. It's nice to know it is attainable. It is for you too. All our paths take different directions, but yours will lead to good things if you widen the lens. I never ever would have got where I am today with psych drugs alone. I would be in a coffin by my own hands. It was a mere Nurse Practioner. Go figure. Like I said, try things that don't make sense, look where you haven't look, do not scoff at anything. Admittedly, I scoffed at the whole mercury thing when I first found out. That was just totally ridiculous and unheard of. What quackery. Oh my how wrong I was. I hope you will have a similar awakening.

 

Re: Amy short follow up

Posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2008, at 18:39:36

In reply to Re: Amy short follow up AMY II, posted by bleauberry on February 28, 2008, at 18:16:39

Amy please call and ask for some help a crisis line? Your pdoc? You shouldn't be alone with three children feeling as horrible as I can feel you do. Is a family friend or family nearby? Can they stay with you? Love Phillipa

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC AMY II

Posted by 4WD on February 28, 2008, at 21:11:18

In reply to FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOCS, posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 0:43:21

> I urge EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this site to get together for the sake of one human life...MINE. Look up my postings. Started in 1999 under AMY II. That is i's not 1's. I posted here and there throughout the years and have posted recently. Look at it. Tell me what you think. Be the one to crack this f**kin case. I can't be the only one out there with this. HELP ME. I am desperate. I am a mother and a wife and am sick of this horror. I want answers. WHOEVER is intelligent out here, please help. I need comfort. I just...just...need help. I see PDOC tomorrow. I feel if you can be your own advocate you might just be able to save yourself when your doctors are overlooking something, looking too much into something, or looking completely in the wrong direction. HELP!

Tell your pdoc exactly what has been going on. Give him every detail. Don't worry about taking up too much of his time - you are in a crisis. It sounds like psychosis to me. Perhaps he will put you on an atypical antipsychotic. Geodon worked well for me but I have heard that for psychosis, Abilify might be the bette choice.

I will pray for you.

Marsha

 

Re: Amy short follow up

Posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 21:26:05

In reply to Re: Amy short follow up, posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2008, at 18:39:36

Not that kinda of help Phillipa...I am figuratively speaking when I am descriptive in my desperation. I am on no verge of suicide etc....Thank you.

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC 4WD

Posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 21:28:51

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC AMY II, posted by 4WD on February 28, 2008, at 21:11:18

Told pdoc everything.OCD and Anxiety is what he is going with. At first thought pyschosis because of bad thoughts, but then ruled it out. That is OCD. I read a book on it and man on man do I have it. Not the only thing going on though....This is gonna be a long road....I argued with him today (the pdoc). I just went off. So mad at this field and he replied "You really think I was gonna have an answer for you in a month?"

 

Re: Amy short follow up AMY II

Posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2008, at 21:39:29

In reply to Re: Amy short follow up, posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 21:26:05

Since I don't know you I was worried glad you're doing okay and talked with your pdoc. Love Phillipa

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC AMY II

Posted by obsidian on February 28, 2008, at 21:50:44

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC 4WD, posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 21:28:51

...came across this and figured I'd share it

http://www.epilepsy.com/epilepsy/simple_partial_seizures

also, is the OCD new to you? or have you had it a long time?

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC

Posted by obsidian on February 28, 2008, at 21:58:39

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC AMY II, posted by obsidian on February 28, 2008, at 21:50:44

http://jop.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/17/3/342

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC

Posted by obsidian on February 28, 2008, at 22:03:43

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC, posted by obsidian on February 28, 2008, at 21:58:39

have you ever given one of the anticonvulsant/mood stabilizers a try? like lamictal?

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC obsidian

Posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 0:12:39

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC AMY II, posted by obsidian on February 28, 2008, at 21:50:44

Never occured to me until I happened on that book. I always thought of OCD as the extreme cleaning or can't step on cracks sort of thing. I never thought of my gory, tormenting, repetitive thoughts that are happening during "anxiety attacks" as OCD. But I read that book "Tormenting thoughts and Secret Rituals" and it fit perfect as far as those thoughts and the feelings of me going crazy because of them. It fits that perfectly. The question now is what about those physical symptoms? Are those OCD or are they something else all together.

Like I said before, I actually got into a fight with the Pdoc today over demanding an eeg. I want to rule out things that could be more serious but because I saw a neurologist in 2002 and had an MRI done and it came back normal, he thinks no other tests need to be done. Whatever!

SOMEBODY TELL ME IF YOU KNOW OF ANY TESTS THAT ARE WORTH DOING FOR ME!

DID I MENTION THAT I GO TO A TEACHING HOSPITAL (well known and good one) AND THIS IS A 3rd YEAR RESIDENT (my pdoc) that says he has to see 3 different supervisors that go over his clinical work every week? I thought this was a good thing since he was a resident he would have time to work on my case and I would have essentially more than one doctor working on my diagnosis.

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC obsidian

Posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 0:16:51

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC, posted by obsidian on February 28, 2008, at 22:03:43

Never heard of it or ever tried it. Always back to the anti anxiety. He wants to try clomipramine. He says common side effects are difficulty urinating and "WEIGHT GAIN". He said that is a big problem with this medicine. I don't want to gain anymore weight guys. I am losing weight now. If you see my previous posts I use to be an exotic dancer and model (or stripper whatever you want to call it) and after this X trip and having to go on meds I gained like 80 pounds. Every time I go off meds I start dropping it fast. I go back on a med, I gain weight. So if this one is famous for weight gain, I just know I will gain it all back plus some.

He wants to try this TCA instead of another SSRI because I have pretty much taken every SSRI there is an either have horrible side effects or I don't get enough relief to be worth it. The SNRI Effexor worked the best but still not total relief and I had to quit because my heart was at risk. I had irregular ekg's, irregular heart beats, high blood pressure (through the roof), etc.

Feeling hopeless....

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC obsidian

Posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 0:34:34

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC AMY II, posted by obsidian on February 28, 2008, at 21:50:44

I would love it if someone could find some symptoms written online of people with partial seizure disorder. It says in the link that you sent that the symptoms can be vastly different. The more the better so that I can show my Pdoc that I know what I am talking about. Thank you!

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC

Posted by R. -T. V. 52y on February 29, 2008, at 1:34:20

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC obsidian, posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 0:34:34

hi amy,

i have had mental problems since my military service in 1976, and later on also some severe other illnesses (see my previous messages),

when i have been down, i often have had help just forgetting all the illnesses and other bad things for a while and listening some good music, it has relaxed me,

so why don't you just look at my messages on "Books": Music that has helped me, relax and listen.... Maybe you find a piece of music there that will make you also feel better just for a while,

then i would be satisfied for being alive this day,

kind regards

chris
fin, eu

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC

Posted by henryo on February 29, 2008, at 3:23:26

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOCS polarbear206, posted by AMY II on February 28, 2008, at 14:23:04

This all happened after an x trip, powder form, after half an hour I past out I was so high that I felt like my head was coming off my body. Maybe I wasn't high at all. Maybe I had a seizure. I don't know.

Sounds like you got poisoned. Many people have done X and not passed out and never been the same. So probably at the least, it was X and something else. They put all kinds of stuff in street drugs, strychnine is fairly common, in small amounts many poisons are psychoactive. But a bit too much is a bad thing. Who knows what else it was cut with, say, Sudafed, Rohypnol, and pesticides. Mix it in a bucket and use some acetone to evaporate it into a "base" that might do it. Maybe you need to be researching toxicology sites. There could be history or a likely suspect- substance wise.

Have you ever read up on the "limber leg" poisoning also called "Jake walk" or "Jake leg"? Long story short, pretty nasty poisoning epidemic in the US in the 30's involving a cheap alcohol and a "plasticizer" whatever that is. Point being, it could have been quite unintentional and still very serious.

Who says it was even X at all. I've never heard of X in a powder. I just googled it- "MDMA also is related in its structure and effects to methamphetamine, which has been shown to cause degeneration of neurons containing the neurotransmitter dopamine." Some of the numerous symptoms fit with yours.

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC

Posted by brooke484 on February 29, 2008, at 11:44:31

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC obsidian, posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 0:34:34

Amy,

I had a 24-hour EEG and a regular EEG, but nothing was found. I think if you have a seizure disorder you only experience derealization or depersonalization before or during the seizure (someone can correct me if I'm wrong), not all of the time. But it wouldn't hurt to have one done just to put your mind at ease.

brooke

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC R. -T. V. 52y

Posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 13:32:11

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC, posted by R. -T. V. 52y on February 29, 2008, at 1:34:20

Thanks for the message but if it were that easy, I would have done that a long time ago. Believe me, after 9 years of dealing with this I have tried ALOT of things. This isn't something that I can just take my mind off of. It doesn't work like that for me.

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC henryo

Posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 13:44:23

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC, posted by henryo on February 29, 2008, at 3:23:26

Yep, it was a powder in a plastic baggy. I had done meth and coke before so I know it wasn't that. This guy I was dating was getting the X from someone else. Maybe even running it for him. I don't know. I was in the dark about it. All I know is that he put it in a little twisty plastic bag for me to swallow, I verified with him that this was gonna be "OK" and then BAM, not even 15-30 minutes later I was sooo "High" that literally my head felt like it was being pulled up to the sky right off my head. I had to go home right away, went to the bedroom and fell asleep. Definately not right.

Funny thing is, it didn't affect my boyfriend the same way afterward, but he said he didn't feel right either after taking it and also went home with me and passed out. He agreed that something was wrong.
I had done meth and coke without having panic attacks afterwards, or anxiety attacks, or any other weird symptoms. I tried acid ONCE and never did it again because of the slight hallucinations that happened. But again, never anything that happened in the way of anxiety attacks or anything. NOT until I did X. After that, I had huge anxiety attack the next day but nothing like this!

Another thing I will add that may be significant is that I was fine for two days after this final x trip, powder form. It was two days later and I had this HUGE electrical surge in my head that just felt like my brain burst and then all the symptoms started from there.

I hate the psychiatrists point of view on things like looking at you differently because you used drugs. I partied like a rock star, looked like one and felt like one for a year. Ok, but that doesn't define me now. Or before that year. I feel like you just aren't taken seriously because of it. That they are always looking at you like you might be Schizophrenic or can't discern what is real and what is fake.(sorry to those of you that are, truly).

I wish I could find a doctor that does extensive testing on those that have done "X" or a doctor that has taken speical interest in these cases and the effects it has on the body.

If I only would have kept some of that drug and had it tested. I can't go back now, I can only look for answers here in the present.

Where would I look up poisoning? Why does it seem that doctors don't care to find out what is wrong with you, only to treat the symptoms you have and call it whatever they want so long as it seems to fit? Why not DIG damn it!

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC brooke484

Posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 13:52:32

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC, posted by brooke484 on February 29, 2008, at 11:44:31

Well, my Pdoc yesterday, when he could get a word in, mentinoed derealization and how it is associated with OCD and anxiety. I wish they could just walk a mile in my shoes.....

Is it possible to find another doctor that WILL do the tests?

My Pdoc says that is not how medicine is practiced. That patients don't determine treatment or diagnosis and they can't just demand tests. Verbatim he said "You don't drive the bus, Amy".

I understand that. I get it. But I am not a one size fits all case and if I want some things ruled out then just DO IT. I have insurance and it is my money. Just do it. He is a resident anyway. The only harm to him is that he LEARNS something from it.

I told him that I thought that Doctors have big EGO's and don't want to be proved wrong especially by a Psych Patient. And that the previous Neurologist may not think there is a need for tests or want to do anymore tests because it just may show up that something else is wrong and this could have been fixed for me a long time ago if he would have just listened.

Has anyone ever watched Diagnosis X or Mystery Diagnosis? I need to be on that show. Then again, they probably aren't good shows for me to watch because it just furthers my belief that DOCS can and will get it wrong. That there are people out there that have had to search for years to get doctors to listen and to give a crap and perform test after test after test.

I am sorry but I am just not going to accept an anxiety and OCD diagnosis and a "since I can't come up with any other answers for your weird and unusual physical and neurological symptoms that aren't a part of the OCD and anxiety diagnosis, we are just gonna ignore that part??? Learn to live with it Amy"

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC

Posted by brooke484 on February 29, 2008, at 21:53:51

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC brooke484, posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 13:52:32

I've had those same doctors (endos, neuros, family doctors, etc) who have dismissed me and said all I needed was a psychiatrist. Maybe so, but I still wanted the tests run just in case there was something else wrong with me. The MRI did show a pituitary tumor, but a doctor at Johns Hopkins assured me that was not causing my symptoms and I believe him. But, like I said before, you need to have those tests so you aren't wondering whether or not there is something wrong. Been there done that. I know what you're going through and I still believe there might be something else going on, but I've had all of the tests and nothing comes up. I did eventually find a doctor who was open minded and who pretty much ordered any test I wanted. Maybe you'll have to do the same just for peace of mind.

brooke

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC brooke484

Posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 23:31:22

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC, posted by brooke484 on February 29, 2008, at 21:53:51

Your probably right. Too bad my insurance only allows like 20 visits a year and I have wasted 5 on this guy and feel like I have gotten nowhere.

 

Re: Teaching Hospital AMY II

Posted by yxibow on March 1, 2008, at 3:16:52

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC obsidian, posted by AMY II on February 29, 2008, at 0:12:39

> Never occured to me until I happened on that book. I always thought of OCD as the extreme cleaning or can't step on cracks sort of thing. I never thought of my gory, tormenting, repetitive thoughts that are happening during "anxiety attacks" as OCD. But I read that book "Tormenting thoughts and Secret Rituals" and it fit perfect as far as those thoughts and the feelings of me going crazy because of them. It fits that perfectly. The question now is what about those physical symptoms? Are those OCD or are they something else all together.
>
> Like I said before, I actually got into a fight with the Pdoc today over demanding an eeg. I want to rule out things that could be more serious but because I saw a neurologist in 2002 and had an MRI done and it came back normal, he thinks no other tests need to be done. Whatever!
>
> SOMEBODY TELL ME IF YOU KNOW OF ANY TESTS THAT ARE WORTH DOING FOR ME!
>
> DID I MENTION THAT I GO TO A TEACHING HOSPITAL (well known and good one) AND THIS IS A 3rd YEAR RESIDENT (my pdoc) that says he has to see 3 different supervisors that go over his clinical work every week? I thought this was a good thing since he was a resident he would have time to work on my case and I would have essentially more than one doctor working on my diagnosis.


You are in extremely good hands at a teaching hospital. The only issue, and I don't know your PDOC, is that he/she is a 3rd year resident. They have to pick their specialty and go through a 4th year and do rotations in the hospital.

So yes, they do go through their supervising Physician ("doctor G-d" sometimes I find in ERs, but thats another story, if you want to call it -- not meaning to be offensive to any religion) and they do have to -- its state laws, assuming you're in the US and I'm sure the same in Canada and most western European countries to some degree.


If you don't want to wait for the resident availability and time constraints, then there's only the solution of choosing a clinician who has been through residency and psychiatric/psychopharmacology specialization.

I'm not sure what to say other on that -- and please dont take this as a "dump your doctor" thing. There are a lot of posts I've seen in the past that can be inflammatory and lead people to believe that they should do so. It is up to you. You have free will, as much as the better part of North America provides, which is the hallmark of it.

-- tidings

 

Re: Teaching Hospital yxibow

Posted by AMY II on March 1, 2008, at 12:30:23

In reply to Re: Teaching Hospital AMY II, posted by yxibow on March 1, 2008, at 3:16:52

I feel like I am in good hands being at that hospital, however he is a newb (to use my teens description)and I feel like his inexperience is going to get me in trouble. Pehaps I should just do the Klonopin 2x a day .5 mg, increase to 3x time a day if needed and go from there. That way we can start to dissect the symptoms that are left. It kind of sounds like a plan.

What if I want to get together with friends and drink though? It's few and far between that I drink but I would like to be able to if I want to.

No offense about God here. I personally have been on a spiritual path since August and it has lead me to such books as Eat Pray Love, The Secret, and I am currently reading A New Earth. It gives hope that you may just have the power to change yourself no matter what mental illness you have....If you can just reach that part of yourself, which takes work. I am willing but I am NOT willing to suffer in the meantime.

xoxo-Amy II

 

Re: Teaching Hospital AMY II

Posted by yxibow on March 1, 2008, at 15:41:52

In reply to Re: Teaching Hospital yxibow, posted by AMY II on March 1, 2008, at 12:30:23

> I feel like I am in good hands being at that hospital, however he is a newb (to use my teens description)and I feel like his inexperience is going to get me in trouble. Pehaps I should just do the Klonopin 2x a day .5 mg, increase to 3x time a day if needed and go from there. That way we can start to dissect the symptoms that are left. It kind of sounds like a plan.

I'm sure by 3rd year he has seen quite a few patients, but you're right, he is not like a clinician who is in private practice or at a university, who is a teaching professor, etc. That doesn't mean "you'll get in trouble" -- but I can understand the feeling.


> What if I want to get together with friends and drink though? It's few and far between that I drink but I would like to be able to if I want to.

Well ultimately that's your choice. Alcohol does, besides giving a hangover eventually, doubles or more your dose of benzodiazepines.

A strict doctor would say no alcohol whatsoever, but I know that in practical life people like to tie one on now and then.

I used to be able to take (this is not a suggestion) up to 2-3 drinks once or twice a week with a rather large amount of Valium. Now it is -definately- not a good idea for me to drink more than 1/2 to a drink occasionally as a taste, even though I have my favorites around, as I drink more for the taste (yes, its anxiety relieving ONLY in the short term) of things. In college I drank more for the loneliness at times.


There are limitations to everything. And also then there is the issue that you must double at least your wait to drive time, because DUIs are serious, unless you are being picked up.


> No offense about God here. I personally have been on a spiritual path since August and it has lead me to such books as Eat Pray Love, The Secret, and I am currently reading A New Earth. It gives hope that you may just have the power to change yourself no matter what mental illness you have....If you can just reach that part of yourself, which takes work.

I'm glad that is helping you -- some people are helped spiritually and that is their comfort.

I am willing but I am NOT willing to suffer in the meantime.


Well, I don't think any of us like to suffer, certainly not intentionally -- I don't like to suffer my gosh, but sometimes the focus on suffering (this is meant as constructive psychology, I'm trying not to offend) becomes an obsession and a self-fulfilling ideation. Its better to focus on what you -can- do.


And if you're -not- willing to suffer, one has to outweigh the benefits and risks of medications that may very well make you feel like a much better individual and also attend therapy or therapy groups or use your spirituality to balance the two.


> xoxo-Amy II

-- tidings

Jay

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC brooke484

Posted by Phillipa on March 1, 2008, at 17:37:43

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC, posted by brooke484 on February 29, 2008, at 21:53:51

Brooke have a pituitary microadenema and just recentely an endo read it after four years of other docs refusing he said don't worry would lactate and then the chronic lymes so it stays Western blot positive and will for many years the docs say but isn't active now. Phillipa

 

Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC Phillipa

Posted by AMY II on March 1, 2008, at 17:47:05

In reply to Re: FIGURE ME OUT AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ANY DOC brooke484, posted by Phillipa on March 1, 2008, at 17:37:43

I am sorry Phillipa but I didn't understand any of that? What were you trying to say? That the pdoc said it was just mental but it turns it out wasn't???


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