Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 748767

Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Round and round and round.

Posted by deniseuk190466 on April 10, 2007, at 13:33:51

Hi,

This is more to myself but if anyone can relate then let me know.


Last week upped my dose of lexapro to 20mg (only for the week though because I've only been prescribed 10mg and only had five extra to play with). I managed to get through working at this temp job ok but last Wednesday(and this is about 7 days after taking Zyprexa) the feelings of apathy were there. I knew I had an interview the following day and was feeling apathetic about that and yet at the same time worried because I was feeling apathetic and indecisisve.

That night I had a friend round for dinner but it was all I could do to cook the dinner and then I was just feeling very edgey and restless, couldn't sit still. I also had this feeling that I always get when I'm starting to go downhill, that I'm not going to be able to make it to the interview the next day because I simply don't care enough, I haven't got the will or the energy. I managed to have a shower that night after smoking incessantly.

Couldn't sleep very well on the Wednesday night and then got up early on the Thursday feeling bad, anxious, pacey and unsettled. Even the washing up from last night's dinner seemed to much for me to cope with.

Anyway, got dressed got into my car and drove to this interview (which was quite a way from where I live). I'm in the car feeling suicidal, like I just want to jump out the car and I'm smoking more and more. This is nothing to do with the pending interview but I would have felt like that regardless what I was doing, whether I was in Tescos on a Saturday doing some shopping or on an idyllic beach.

By the time I get to the interview I'm feeling like I've made it through a major ordeal and couldn't care less about the interview afterall, how am I going to do the job when I can hardly make the journey.

I get into the interview (it's the second one just an informal chat as they've already offered me the job) and I feel anxious nervous. They said that they hadn't felt that the first one had gone too well, even though they saw potential and how did I feel it went. I said I didn't think it went that well and asked them why they thought it hadn't gone too well. They said I just seemed really nervous and on the defensive.

At that point my heart just sank as I realised I wasn't fooling anyone and I sort of blurted out that I suffered with "depression and anxiety". By that time I didn't want the job anyway, I didn't want anything but to get out of that room and have yet another cigarrette.


I left the interview, drove to my mums, had another five cigarettes, who made me have something to eat (and which I felt like throwing back up). I was restless and agitated, got to work in the afternoon and made it through the rest of the day. But by the end of the day I felt as though I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and that I simply didn't care about anyone or anything (which was a sort of nice feeling in a strange way).

That night took a Zyprexa, next day zoned out, next day agitated but more composed. Saturday night went for a drink with a friend (and although I didn't feel anxious had no desire to talk or do anything, left early and just went to bed. Yesterday very unmotivated but not anxious, today managed to do work ok without any anxiety, bit more emotions comeing back but there is this underlying worry all the time because come Friday or Saturday of this week the whole thing will start all over again and don't want to feel an anxious wreck but neither do I want to feel like a detached robot (on Zyprexa).

When the anxiety starts again, Friday/Saturday I'm going to try Klonopin again I think, see what that does.

I just get sick of going round and round in circles.

I keep thinking maybe I should try Abilify, then no maybe I should try lyrica, then no maybe I should just go back on Seroxat and Mirtazapine, then maybe mirtazapine and effexor, then maybe I should try tieneptine or adderall. When I start to feel really bad I just want to either die or to be wheeled straight into hospital for somebody to drill holes into my head and remove whatever it is that is bothering me. I know there is no quick fix anymore but I feel as though I'm being cheated out of my life. All I can do is worry and obsess because I simply can't seem to get interested in anything (I do try) so I worry and obsess about what I need to do in order to be interested in other things. It's the only way I feel I am actually doing something constructive, even though it's not getting me anywhere. Life is passing me by but then it would anyway and it would feel like it was no matter what I was doing.

Denise

 

Re: Round and round and round.

Posted by Sebastian on April 10, 2007, at 16:40:27

In reply to Round and round and round., posted by deniseuk190466 on April 10, 2007, at 13:33:51

Try taking the zyprexa regularly. And not worry that you told the interveiwer that you take meds, as long as you say they work. That has never been a problem. If the meds are not working and you tell them that, is a flag. Just reasure that when you take meds you work great. This works for me. I think I lost my last job because I made so many med changes that didn't work, when I already had a good med plan before this, the Problem was sideeffects. I think abilify lost me my job, it wasn't going well already, except for the first 9 months, but I had planed to try getting off the zyprexa, what a bad mistake. Last med change was abilify, I finaly snaped and walked off the job, couldn't take the head games any more. No one liked me there. Anyways I'm injoying a great vacation, and considering very carfully a new job plan. 10mg zyprexa for life! Thats what its going to take after 10 years of trial and error, and a lot of 10mg zyprexa taking that works great. Just a little tired and hungry. Considering a diet pill now, maybe, have to talk to doc first, don't want fat again. Head working great though, with the 10mg zyprexa! F*ck abilify, risperdal, geodon and all the others I'm not even going to consider.

 

Re: Round and round and round. deniseuk190466

Posted by Phillipa on April 10, 2007, at 21:56:54

In reply to Round and round and round., posted by deniseuk190466 on April 10, 2007, at 13:33:51

Denise you sound like my twin and no answer. Haven't found one. Love Phillipa hope you feel better tomorrow and maybe that job just wasn't the right one for you?

 

To Sebastian

Posted by Deniseuk190466 on April 11, 2007, at 5:10:10

In reply to Re: Round and round and round., posted by Sebastian on April 10, 2007, at 16:40:27

Hi Sebastian,

The thing is, I don't think I could take 10mg of Zyprexa on a daily basis, it's just too much.

I don't particularly like how I feel the first few days after taking one, it's only when it's wearing off that I actually start feeling better.

What is your diagnosis, what meds have you tried and how did they affect you? just out of curiosity.


Thanks.....Denise

 

Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!

Posted by Sebastian on April 11, 2007, at 14:32:58

In reply to Round and round and round., posted by deniseuk190466 on April 10, 2007, at 13:33:51

Maybe your right about klonopin.

 

Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!

Posted by deniseuk190466 on April 11, 2007, at 16:15:30

In reply to Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!, posted by Sebastian on April 11, 2007, at 14:32:58

hmmmmm, I feel quite good tonight but it's because the Zyprexa is wearing off.

I guess you didn't want to answer my questions about what drugs you have tried in the past and with what results???


Denise

 

Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!

Posted by Sebastian on April 11, 2007, at 18:52:19

In reply to Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!, posted by deniseuk190466 on April 11, 2007, at 16:15:30

I don't know what I took in the hospitals. But out of the hospital, I took, prozac, risperdal, depakot, zyprexa, generic prozac's, celexa, wellbutrin sr, abilify, remeron, geodon, and thats all I remember. Right now I take 10mg zyprexa, 60mg celexa, 300mg wellbutrin sr. Risperdal gave me holucinations, stiff musciles and hungry. prozac just made thinking a little cloudy. depakot was maybe usefull, but realy tired, hungry. Zyprexa I still take, very usefull, helps good sleep, cuts racing thoughts, gets rid of anxiety, calming, produces clearity of thoughts. celexa got rid of my depression and made me realy happy. Wellbutrin sr was hard to get use to, but cut my smoking to 1/3, energizing, I take the generic now, which has less side-effects for me, like dizzyness. geodon, made me angry, blurry vision(which was dose dependant). Abilify, great diet pill, lowered blood sugar-too much.

 

Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!

Posted by deniseuk190466 on April 12, 2007, at 8:40:51

In reply to Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!, posted by Sebastian on April 11, 2007, at 18:52:19

Thanks, I just wondered if Celexa made you feel really happy why are you taking Zyprexa with it?

Did it stop working on its own or did it never work on its own?

Thanks....Denise

 

Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!

Posted by Sebastian on April 12, 2007, at 14:03:51

In reply to Re: I take it back, no zyprexa!, posted by deniseuk190466 on April 12, 2007, at 8:40:51

The zyprexa I've been taking for a lot longer than celexa. I realy need the zyprexa for schitzoaffect, racing thoughts, lack of sleep, moods, appatite, zyprexa is the ONE I realy need. Zyprexa never stoped working. I tried switching to other AP, but none were a real replacement.


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