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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 11:15:15
Hello everyone,
Just posting to unburden myself, I feel like I need to talk to someone... I'm going through a pretty bad patch depression wise, it seems to keep getting worse day by day. I've had depression issues for so long, but I kept thinking I could solve it by changing something in my environment... Just recently I realised this wasn't going to go away. And I completely crumbled. It's like suddenly all the hope that I could yet be normal went, and now I'm left with a hollow fear that this is what my life is going to be. I'm taking an AD but it's not working- I'm getting worse day by day and my GP says he doesn't want to change my meds before I see a specialist. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist but that's not until a month from now. I'm finding it pretty unbearable right now, my depression is so bad. It won't ease up whatever I do- I feel I can't escape from myself and it's driving me insane, I actually wish I broke a leg or something to take the focus off the mental pain. To top it all off I feel really embarrassed, like it's my fault for not coping. I know it's stupid but there you go. My anxiety's reached a record high, I'm so terrified that I won't ever find a way out- I mean a proper way out that will allow me to have a life that's worth living, not just something that will numb my pain. I'm terrified that my life is going to be a permanent swing between unhappniess and downright torturous mental pain, with nothing inbetween.
Anyway, I'll shut up. Pretty grim reading I imagine.... Thanks for listening,
Ines
Posted by Racer on March 28, 2007, at 12:16:09
In reply to in pain..., posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 11:15:15
That's a lousy place to be, and the worst part is the waiting. Your GP is probably right, in that it probably is best to wait for the specialist to choose the next step for meds. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of fast acting options to deal with depression.
I forget, are you in Canada or the UK? Or are you in the States? If you're in the States, maybe you could call the specialist and ask if you can be seen sooner? Sometimes, you can get on a list to be called if anyone cancels, which might get you in earlier. It's worth calling and asking, at any rate.
For now, though, can you remind yourself that this holding pattern isn't forever? That you *will* see someone in a month, and that something will change then? It may be hard to focus on that -- I know it is for me, and believe me I know how horrible that's been for me in the past -- but maybe reminding yourself of that may help.
I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten. It is a terrible place to be, and I hope it doesn't last long for you.
Posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 12:33:05
In reply to Been there, done that, folded the T-shirt... » Ines, posted by Racer on March 28, 2007, at 12:16:09
Thank you so much, Racer- it helps. I'm in the UK and this was already a rush-through apppointment, so no choice but to wait. Hopefully the pain will ease up a bit before then..
Ines
Posted by Jay on March 28, 2007, at 13:05:56
In reply to Been there, done that, folded the T-shirt... » Ines, posted by Racer on March 28, 2007, at 12:16:09
> That's a lousy place to be, and the worst part is the waiting. Your GP is probably right, in that it probably is best to wait for the specialist to choose the next step for meds. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of fast acting options to deal with depression.
>
> I forget, are you in Canada or the UK? Or are you in the States? If you're in the States, maybe you could call the specialist and ask if you can be seen sooner? Sometimes, you can get on a list to be called if anyone cancels, which might get you in earlier. It's worth calling and asking, at any rate.Ummm..just to note, here in Canada, I can go to a local walk-in medical clinic, free of charge for every single Canadian, and wait as little as 5-10 minutes minutes or so to see a doctor, and get medication. There are many of these miny clinics all around, well advertised. Wham-bam, done. The only longer waiting times are during 'rush-peak' hours, usually around dinner time, when people get home from work. You *will* still get to see a doctor, though, regardless. Kinda nice. :)
Jay
Posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2007, at 13:44:42
In reply to Re: Been there...Ya, so have millions of us :-) » Racer, posted by Jay on March 28, 2007, at 13:05:56
Ines we can suffer together. And the UK sorry. Yes they do say it's quite a long wait. Do you have something to take for the time being. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2007, at 13:46:22
In reply to in pain..., posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 11:15:15
Ines see Toms thread below would it help for you? Love Phillipa
Posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 14:47:17
In reply to Re: Been there...Ya, so have millions of us :-), posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2007, at 13:44:42
Thank you Phillipa!
I've got a rushed appointment so not much more that they than can do.... I'm on reboxetine at the moment, but I think it is making it worse rather than better- I might just stop altogether while I wait. I hope you are doing better with your withdrawal
Ines x
Posted by chiron on March 28, 2007, at 16:48:07
In reply to in pain..., posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 11:15:15
Bearing the pain with you. Today I got worse again. I suffered as I watched the clock slowly move at work - holding back the tears. Tears for no reason other than the way I f*n feel sucks. I collected positive stories about Emsam last night and how for some it just takes a long time to kick in. But maybe that's just not going to be my story. It's looking like there isn't anything that is going to be my success story. Unless I am in the small percentage of people that VNS is successful for. And that looks like it can take months to kick in if it does at all. I am sooo worn out. I can't take another day.
Posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 17:09:02
In reply to Re: in pain..., posted by chiron on March 28, 2007, at 16:48:07
Hey Chiron,
Such a good choice of words, worn out... that's exacly how I feel. After years and years of barely keeping myself afloat I feel I don't have the energy any more, I just want it to be easy for once, for things to work out... All I can hope for is that there is some sort of fairness after all, and that all of us who suffer like this do eventually find some sort of happiness . Not that I'm religious or even spriritual, but some days I wish I was so I could hold on to that.
I hope Emsam or VNS do the trick for you. I've just read Racer's remission story from a few days back and it gave me some hope- maybe it would help you too?
Take care, Ines
Posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2007, at 19:42:16
In reply to Re: in pain..., posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 17:09:02
Me too ll years and I'm not young. Will I die feeling this way as they say the older you get the worse it gets. Love Phillipa
Posted by football on March 29, 2007, at 22:09:25
In reply to in pain..., posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 11:15:15
Last time I had a terrible bout of depression I went to the hospital and spent a week there.
Then I did a 2-week out-patient program, and felt much better after everything was done.Don't just stay at home feeling miserable. Hospitals are there for a reason, and you don't have to be suicidal to go there and get help.
Posted by football on March 29, 2007, at 22:20:36
In reply to Re: in pain... » Ines, posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2007, at 19:42:16
> Me too ll years and I'm not young. Will I die feeling this way as they say the older you get the worse it gets. Love Phillipa
Not necessary. When I was spending my week at the hospital I met a 51 year old man who was more depressed then anyone I had ever met. The transformation he made from staying at the hospital, getting some meds, and then attending the out-patient program along with me was absolutely astonishing. As long as you don't have alzheimers or some similar illness that develops with age, there's no reason you can't get better.
Posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2007, at 22:25:15
In reply to Re: in pain..., posted by football on March 29, 2007, at 22:20:36
Add l0 years to his age. Love Phillipa couldn't do my 7.5miles on my bike tonight felt so bad and I never miss.
This is the end of the thread.
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