Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 5053

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Re: topamax

Posted by fierycelt on January 26, 2006, at 18:06:19

In reply to Re: topamax, posted by stresser on January 25, 2006, at 21:11:01

to "stressor/L"....Thank You!! I appreciate your words of encouragement. I am also very glad to hear of someone having great sucess in life!! After all, it is quality not quantity that matters!! Good for you!!!
I'm ok with my diagnosis, almost relieved, it is just the side effects of the meds that worry me!!! Like I said, it is important that I'm not stupid, bald or falling over...it will interfer with my job!! I also am taking Cymbalta and maybe my Dr. will eventually add Adderall to the "mixture". My goal is to have the successful life that has eluded me thus far. It is weird, all my life I have felt like I was moving "counter-clock-wise" while the rest of the world has been moving the "normal clock-wise"!! Hopefully Topamax will be tha answer to my extreme moods and help me move "clock-wise"!! Only "TIME" will tell...lol a terrible pun, couldn't help myself!! Thnak you again!!
S

 

Re: thread vs. board

Posted by Dr. Bob on January 27, 2006, at 1:50:08

In reply to Re: thread vs. board, posted by rainy on January 26, 2006, at 9:17:41

> Ooops. Sorry. I tend toward sloppy syntax when I'm feeling gulity and I completely forgot about the thread part anyway. I'll try not to let it happen again.

I didn't mean to jump on you or anything! I do think sometimes people Google into a thread and think that's the whole board...

Bob

 

Re: topamax » fierycelt

Posted by headachequeen on January 27, 2006, at 19:15:16

In reply to Re: topamax, posted by fierycelt on January 26, 2006, at 18:06:19

> to "stressor/L"....Thank You!! I appreciate your words of encouragement. I am also very glad to hear of someone having great sucess in life!! After all, it is quality not quantity that matters!! Good for you!!!
> I'm ok with my diagnosis, almost relieved, it is just the side effects of the meds that worry me!!! Like I said, it is important that I'm not stupid, bald or falling over...it will interfer with my job!! I also am taking Cymbalta and maybe my Dr. will eventually add Adderall to the "mixture". My goal is to have the successful life that has eluded me thus far. It is weird, all my life I have felt like I was moving "counter-clock-wise" while the rest of the world has been moving the "normal clock-wise"!! Hopefully Topamax will be tha answer to my extreme moods and help me move "clock-wise"!! Only "TIME" will tell...lol a terrible pun, couldn't help myself!! Thnak you again!!
> S

I love the nom de plume.. wish I had thought of it... headache queen does not have quite the ring of fierycelt... <g> besides, I have not had a headache in so long that the name is a total lie...

and being a redhead and a Celt, well, anyway, back on topic...

I need to have my cognitive skills firmly in hand...
I make my living thinking on my feet and thinking quickly at that. I am a journalist -- television news and information shows, interviewing people for hour-long live programs and doing news segments for magazine formats, mostly political stuff. that and my photography support my habits, training dogs, my own and other people's, as well as showing and competing with them (the dogs I mean)
I have to have my wits about me and other than the days immediately after a temporal lobe triggered seizure I have not experienced problems with the thinking bits...
Now, when there is a seizure in the wind I have memory problems... I am also a singer and when I find myself forgetting the lyrics to songs I have worked with for centuries then I start to brace myself for trouble... my cat also warns me...
he actually responds to something that tells him I am about to have a seizure.. he is amazing...

But the topomax has not caused any drastic memory problems...
and I have thick hair with no bald patches...
the only time I had hair loss issues was during the tegretol devastation... but I also read that tegretol has been known to have side effects topomax has not begun to think of, including death...
I have serious vision problems caused by the tegretol... problems my initial neurologist knew could happen and prescribed it anyway... easier than trying something new and innovative... tegretol was around when Noah built the ark and they have found a few medicications since...

The only real issue I have with topomax is the thirst... but then one is supposed to drink lots of water with it... well, that is not difficult if one is always thirsty...
of course, the constant thirst could also be attached to the other meds I have to take as each of them is apparently known to cause excessive thirst, so maybe I am unfairly blaming the topomax????

anyone else find it makes them thirsty???

if taken in slowly increasing doses, one's system has time to adjust and then the side effects that can be problems do not have the same dangerous build up effects...

it is like so many other things, moderation and caution...

aspirin if it were discovered today would never be available over the counter... it would be a prescription drug with so many warnings...

we have to use common sense and doctors who prescribe the meds have to learn more about them...
some doctors prescribe without ever learning what patients are already taking and in this age of specialisation that is a very real risk...

I don't know about the rest of you, but I see ten doctors, one of whom is treating me on two fronts as it were, another of whom is my primary care physician. These people seldom have a face-to-face discussion with any of the others...


I was unaware that the one was using me as a lab rat because he could learn about a rare condition by testing me... foolishly I believed that his tests were diagnostic, intended to improve the level of treatment for me, not the level of knowledge for his next treatise...
He left me on tegretol even though he knew the effects it could have because he was able to study the effects of the seizures and the patterns or whatever, as well as the effects of different meds on these seizures...
more publication!!!

This thread and some of the people who provided me with information about topomax and the fact that it is used alone in the UK to treat epilepsy, along with other information, meant that I had the ammunition I needed to demand to be given other treatment options.
I stopped using tegretol and then stopped using the tertiary medication.
Within a day or so of stopping the tegretol the seizure activity diminished. When I went solely to using the topomax it diminished even more until the recent testing when the seizures increased and the patterns changed, with the addition of absence seizures, deja vu and daytime tonic clonic seizures and lovely excursions to hospital by ambulance. It is such an adventure to come to in the hospital and have no idea where you are or who you are or why you are there in the first place, not to mention the incredible pain from the muscle wear and tear ...
at this point the topomax with the increased dosage -which is being done in slow increments <s> -
is managing the epilepsy for me...
the changes the emergency doctor and my doctor recommended have been pushing the changes out and life is returning to what passes for normal.

my hair is not falling out and I have not encountered any cognitive problems connected with the topomax and that is vital for the work I do, can't trip over ideas or words or my tongue when I am on deadline or when the camera is on. I can do enough damage that way without the help of any side effects LOL

it is all a matter of giving the medication time to work and finding the dosage that works for you but doing it all in slow steady increments...
the problem didn't occur overnight and the solution won't be reached overnight either...

end of sermon

kat

 

Re: topamax » stresser

Posted by headachequeen on January 27, 2006, at 19:17:20

In reply to Re: topamax, posted by stresser on January 25, 2006, at 21:11:01

> Thank goodness I am still on here....don't freak out! I didn't tell you that I am BPII also, and I am fine!!! You will be also in a few weeks or so! You just have to get your meds right, and once you do that, things will start to even out. BELIEVE ME, ask Kat, Rainy, etc. I was on here EVERY DAY!!! No joke! Whinning, because it takes time, and they told me that. Over, and over, and over... I'm not making too much sense right now, because I'm tired and in a hurry, so please excuse me. You will know when a medication isn't right for you, and when you do, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and tell your doctor that you want something else. Research in the internet, and go into the office with the information on the sheet of paper. You will have the reasons right there why you want the medication, and you will be answering his questions before he begins to ask you. Be one step ahead. You won't always get hair loss on Topomas...I did not. Welbutrin won't make you gain weight...my daughter loves it and she hasn't gained a pound..in fact, she has lost about 20lbs on topomax, Adderall and Welbutrin together. I take Adderall, and Topomax along with Zolof, and havan't had any weight gain at all. My memory is fine for a 44 year old? (I think) I will take it, because the adderall has helped with motivation, and my personal business has taken off like I thought it never could! Kudos for Adderall and BPII. To think I was walking around for 43 years without Topomax and Adderall, while everyone else was living like I am now. (with Topomax and Adderall. I asked my DR if that is what it's like, and she said yes, for some people) what a waste of 40 some years.
>

L-,
So glad to hear that M is doing so well and that the right combination of meds has been achieved for her...
this is such brilliant news...
tell her that I am over the moon with joy for her and for her success...

and for yours too

kat

 

Re: topamax » headachequeen

Posted by sunsplashinwaves on January 27, 2006, at 19:25:19

In reply to Re: topamax » stresser, posted by headachequeen on January 27, 2006, at 19:17:20

Wow... you are the only other person I have ever heard of that has been on Adderall and Topamax together like me!! It's nice to know there are people out there like me... LOL

 

Re: topamax » headachequeen

Posted by stresser on January 28, 2006, at 22:54:28

In reply to Re: topamax » stresser, posted by headachequeen on January 27, 2006, at 19:17:20

Thanks so much Kat, because as you know, this was a long time coming! Why do things take so much time? I think it took around one year for things to come around, and also a change in doctors as well. She goes off to college next fall, and that may change things just a bit, so the topamx dosage may have to be adjusted up just a little. I don't really want it to be, because her hair starts to fall out with a higher dosage. We will just have to wait until the time comes for that one! I am really happy to hear from you again! How are things? -L

 

Re: topamax

Posted by fierycelt on January 29, 2006, at 18:31:11

In reply to Re: topamax » fierycelt, posted by headachequeen on January 27, 2006, at 19:15:16

headache queen..my "moniker" may be the only clever thing in my life...

It is nice to hear Topamax has your seizures under control. I, however, am taking it because I am Bi-Polar. Hopefully it will work for me. I have never really taken meds for it, it is a new diagnosis, and I have always just ridden out the "storm" that is my life!

Maybe I shouldn't worry about being stupid at my job...since you are the second person who has responded and told me about your successful job(s). I am just a stripper and that isn't really an important or successful job at all...
Maybe this isn't the board for me at all...

 

Re: topamax » fierycelt

Posted by stresser on January 29, 2006, at 20:31:10

In reply to Re: topamax, posted by fierycelt on January 29, 2006, at 18:31:11

Well...so far so good, anyway! My diagnosis was new this time last year, so therefore; I have only been on topomax for one year. I think this is the board for you, because it doesn't matter why you take it. Many of us take it for BP, and many others for other things, but we're all experiencing the same effects from the same medication. You don't have to "ride the storm out anymore". -L

 

Re: topamax » fierycelt

Posted by headachequeen on January 29, 2006, at 20:37:32

In reply to Re: topamax, posted by fierycelt on January 29, 2006, at 18:31:11

> headache queen..my "moniker" may be the only clever thing in my life...
>
> It is nice to hear Topamax has your seizures under control. I, however, am taking it because I am Bi-Polar. Hopefully it will work for me. I have never really taken meds for it, it is a new diagnosis, and I have always just ridden out the "storm" that is my life!
>
> Maybe I shouldn't worry about being stupid at my job...since you are the second person who has responded and told me about your successful job(s). I am just a stripper and that isn't really an important or successful job at all...
> Maybe this isn't the board for me at all...


Where did the Fiery Celt go? Did she leave the room when my back was turned? Boadicea and all the other fiery Celtic women must be spinning in their graves right now!
Put the tape on rewind, sit down and listen!
When I signed onto this board, no one said there were any particular requirements to be met - no specific job skills, scholastic achievements, and no competitions with anyone else. The only requirement was to be learning to cope with Topomax.
You qualify.
As for importance and success...
Bah humbug!
Who decides what importance is?
Is there a Board of Importance somewhere out there testing and handing out Certificates of Importance?
If so, they passed me by.
No where on my Love-Me-Wall is there a Certificate of Importance. Not a one. Doggone! Another missing page in my resume...
something else to sit and mope about...

and success? The only way to measure success is to count the number of times you have come to the end of the day and felt that you have achieved something positive...
helped someone else...
made someone feel better about themselves...
made a small difference in the world...
planted a flower...
made someone smile...
or laugh...
had a moment when you felt really good about life...
about yourself...
achieved a dream...
success is living each day and liking it...

Now, Fiery Celt, who belongs here?
Certainly you do...
because there is no admissions test...
nothing to pass or fail...
so there.
kat... who is still looking for her Certificate of Importance

 

Re: topamax » stresser

Posted by headachequeen on January 29, 2006, at 20:39:13

In reply to Re: topamax » fierycelt, posted by stresser on January 29, 2006, at 20:31:10

> Well...so far so good, anyway! My diagnosis was new this time last year, so therefore; I have only been on topomax for one year. I think this is the board for you, because it doesn't matter why you take it. Many of us take it for BP, and many others for other things, but we're all experiencing the same effects from the same medication. You don't have to "ride the storm out anymore". -L
>
Amen to that, L!

So many of us have ridden out our storms here and with help from the other storm riders...
hmmm... maybe I can change my id to stormrider...
so much more dramatic than headache queen...
and I do more storming than headaching...

LOL
kat

 

topamax - name change

Posted by Storm Rider on January 29, 2006, at 21:11:55

In reply to Re: topamax, posted by fierycelt on January 29, 2006, at 18:31:11

Fiery Celt, I am supposed to be doing research into eating disorders for an upcoming programme, but instead I find myself constantly checking email to see if you have posted anything to the board...

I so liked the riding out the storm phrase that I have changed my i d... headachequeen no more...
this is much more suitable. In fact, when my darling dog has her next litter, I think I shall call the keeper puppy Storm Rider -- she will be a blazing red of course <g>

Topomax of course does have a definite effect on appetite, suppressing appetite and helping with weight loss for those who have problems with weight.
As a teenager and into my early twenties I dealt with anorexic (in the dark ages, before it even had a name!!!) and now it seems to be coming back to haunt me.
The meds prescribed before topomax encouraged weight gain. When I was unhappy or tense I ate - wasn't hungry but I ate anyway and was often surprised to find myself with food in my hand (or mouth)--
the hours I kept were not really helpful either; working eighteen hours at a stretch with no time for meal breaks meant grabbing a chocolate bar or bag of chips and fast food when there was half an hour between interviews... it was not a good way to live ...
As the epilepsy intensified its assault on my system someone had the bright idea to prescribe tranquilisers to help me cope... they helped me gain weight...
and on it went...
Then topomax... and no tranquilisers... in the first couple of weeks I noticed the weight dropping...
now I have almost no appetite and hardly any interest in food...
It has become an issue -- I cannot stop taking topomax because it is the only thing that actually controls the epilepsy...
but I cannot lose any more weight...
catch-22...
I have now been on topomax for three years and in the last three months I have lost 31 pounds...
three months ago I was wearing a size six and was quite happy...
I am 5'6 1/2 and it worked for me...
I can't afford to keep buying clothes a size smaller every two or three weeks..
My three-year-old grand-daughter eats larger meals than I do.
At this point I have to eat four small meals a day to survive and I focus on fruit and peanut butter and easily digested protein --

Not sure if it is all topomax or if it is the anorexia or if there is some other problem...
heaven knows they have done enough tests to find out...

There are children in our area schools with eating disorders -- five- and six-year-olds, hence the topic for the upcoming show. I am going to feel odd doing the show... a psychologist and a nutritionist and another specialist coming to talk about the problem with a walking skeleton...

Anyone else finding that topomax doesn't quit????

kat who still wants that certificate of importance.

 

Re: topamax - name change

Posted by fierycelt on January 30, 2006, at 3:36:34

In reply to topamax - name change, posted by Storm Rider on January 29, 2006, at 21:11:55

aaahhh "storm rider" fabulous new name...yes that is what it is like when you are BP...maybe that should be my new "job" the creator of monikers...lol!!
hhhmmm my job...well when you are crazy, working in a strip club is easy because there is always someone crazier than you...easier to "fly under the radar"...
most people think it is a disgusting job and I am a disgusting person because I do it for a living...but I am not. Since I am a very honest person about what I do for a living... most people don't take me seriously or treat me like I am intelligent. Mind you, I don't go running around telling anyone & everyone what I do, but when asked I will answer honestly.
my daily accomplishments...I don't drink, do drugs and have never been arrested. My doctor tells me I have done better than most long-term undiagnosed BP's. I assume because of those afore mentioned "things".
I have an IQ of 126 but never finished college. Of course I also have ADDHD...but that never really bothered me about myself...
I would love to lose 50 lbs...the faster the better. The sooner I lose weight the sooner I can start making money again and paying my bills. Hopeful Topamax will be helpful with that as well "quieting the storm" in my head. Then, perhaps I can focus on a successful life.

Programme...are you British? My father is British and he spells it that way...just a random ADD question.

5 & 6 year old with anorexia?! OMG...how sad, the poor little things...the unimaginable stress, both physically & mentally, they must be going through at such a young age. What
society has done to these children, is reprehensible...good luck with your task.

Hey, thanxs for making me feel popular
by looking to see if I had posted *smile*

ok...i am trying to be patient I don't feel so good today...maybe tomorrow I will...I felt very sick when I woke up today. I still made myself go to the gym and work out. I think it may have been the peanut butter & marmalade sandwich I had for breakfast...not sure. I have started taking Omega--3 to help with the side-effects. I am told this helps. Anyone else tried this? And does it work or is it nonesense?

I admit I am starting to lose interest in food...I realize this is not the best way to lose weight. I knew that this may happen, but so soon!? Careful what you wish for....!!!

 

Topomax didn't suppress my appetite

Posted by gardenergirl on January 30, 2006, at 7:43:15

In reply to Re: topamax - name change, posted by fierycelt on January 30, 2006, at 3:36:34

Hi everyone,
Just thought I'd toss in my experience. My doc added Topomax to my Nardil in hopes it would help me lose the weight I'd put on from Nardil. I don't know if the Nardil countered the appetite suppressant or if I never got to the right dose. I had to stop Topomax because it made me more depressed.

I'm probably one of those oddball cases, though.

gg

 

Re: topamax - name change » fierycelt

Posted by Storm Rider on January 30, 2006, at 22:08:39

In reply to Re: topamax - name change, posted by fierycelt on January 30, 2006, at 3:36:34


> most people think it is a disgusting job and I am a disgusting person because I do it for a living...but I am not.

What you do for a living is your business and no one else's and no one needs to criticize you. For that matter no one really needs to ask you what you do for a living unless it is of vital concern for some reason or other. I can think of few vital reasons for anyone to need to know.
I can also think of worse ways to make a living by the way.

> my daily accomplishments...I don't drink, do drugs and have never been arrested.

And you question your success????
Oh, my dear... rewind the tape, please. I happen to be one of the anomalies of my generation, came through the seventies and never experimented with drugs -- I can get high (and low) on people and music. Actually I can deliberately set my mood up or down with music, a dangerous thing, that. I have never seen a need or interest in playing with drugs. Come to think of it, I have enough problems with prescription meds that I cannot understand why anyone wants to use them for 'recreation'...

People tend to disbelieve one when they hear the 'never used' statement, but it has never been an interest.
However in a few of my incarnations I have had to work at picking up the pieces or trying to pick up the pieces of people who have used drugs or people who have abused alcohol, sometimes both.
You don't use either --
that makes you a success in my book. So the Success Certificate person should be there handing you a Certificate of Success with a Gold Seal on it.
I for one think you have done really well to make it this far...
> I have an IQ of 126 but never finished college. Of course I also have ADDHD...but that never really bothered me about myself...

As for IQ and finishing university... I belong to MENSA and have yet to complete a degree...
I have enough credits to have a degree and three-quarters of another if I could manage to get them altogether into a package that matched, but I can't decide what I want to do when I grow up...
I can't even decide if I want to grow up...

There is intelligence and there is the paper that says one has completed university... I have my undergraduate work finished.. but have to finish the rest some day... just to prove a point I guess...
but common sense and being able to live a life that is sound and caring and worthwhile is important too...

As for living with ADD -- doesn't that add a fun challenge to life??? LOL I can't even sit down and watch television without having something to occupy myself... I have to read a book or work on my laptop... can't sit still that long..

> I would love to lose 50 lbs...the faster the better. The sooner I lose weight the sooner I can start making money again and paying my bills. Hopeful Topamax will be helpful with that as well "quieting the storm" in my head. Then, perhaps I can focus on a successful life.

When I started taking Topomax it was to control the seizures and to stop the migraine headaches...
but the neurologist told me it had a side effect:
it caused weight loss... well, I thought about it for five seconds... and told him to bring it on...
I had gained so much weight and couldn't get rid of it and keep it gone...
shortly after I started it, I noticed that I had lost three pounds...
and I no longer wanted junk food, chocolate bars or chips ... soft drinks...
and I still don't find chocolate bars appealing when I used to always have them stashed in my desk and eat two or three a day ...

I was able to eat large meals and desserts...
and always had a sandwich or some snack in the evening...
There was no deliberate attempt to diet, but the appetite suppressant part of the topomax caused me to lose the obsession with food especially junk foods and the empty calorie foods...
It also led to a craving for protein foods, chicken and salmon (the omega-3 you mentioned)and eggs.
As I am allergic to grains, something I learned about a year ago, I no longer eat breads and cereals or corn, and that really helped.
Another thing I learned that helps with the side effects, along with the omega 3s, and helps with the appetite suppression, is to eat cashews or almonds, an ounce or two, before meals...

Once the weight starts coming off, a little at a time, you begin to feel positive about yourself and your potential to lose the weight...
it is amazing.
I hadn't realised how negative I had come to feel about it and about me until the weight began to fall away...


>
> Programme...are you British? My father is British and he spells it that way...just a random ADD question.

Oh, I know the random ADD stuff <G>
I am Canadian, with an obsession about Canadian spelling <s> and battling to maintain spelling and grammar in an age that seems to think the computer can do both so why bother...

> 5 & 6 year old with anorexia?! OMG...how sad, the poor little things...the unimaginable stress, both physically & mentally, they must be going through at such a young age. What
> society has done to these children, is reprehensible...good luck with your task.

We have both sides of the coin.. children and adults starving themselves to fit in or for other psychological reasons and overeating for the same reasons...
it is a fascinating study... and I see myself at times in the info that comes up...
the been there done that thing...
and then we have society dictating that we must fit into this mould if we want to belong...
look at all the ads and products that preach the perfect body perfect image ...

even in the classroom they receive this message...
and I am off on another windmill tilting campaign...
my lance is battered and splintered and Rosinante is getting old and scarred, but we keep finding windmills to attack...

Omega 3 is a good thing to take to help you with the side effects...
remember to stay on a low dose for the first two weeks or so, then increase by 25 mg... for two weeks and follow the two week increments...
the weight loss should come with the change in mood that topomax effects for the bipolar ...
it is a matter of sticking with it, taking it slowly and giving it time...

patience is a virtue they tell me...
I was born without any patience whatsoever...
another of the redhead things...
I want it all and I want it yesterday, but with topomax, it is vital to be patient...

you will get there, I promise...
kat

 

Re: topamax - name change

Posted by fierycelt on January 31, 2006, at 1:51:32

In reply to Re: topamax - name change » fierycelt, posted by Storm Rider on January 30, 2006, at 22:08:39

Kat...you are a gem!!! Thank you Thank you for your seemingly endless support.

Canadian...of course...my next guess

Redheads are never virtuous...we are very tempestuous and impatient. I realized that about myself along time ago!!!
I am the queen of impatience...now that I know why my life has been the way it has...and have gotten medication to "smooth out the rough edges"...I am impatient for it to work and to just get on with my life or even to start my life. Whatever the case may be....

I need to find another job, to suppliment my income...just not sure what I can do. Someone needs to start a website called....www.Bi-Polarjobs.com...*sigh* in Utopia
I once took a career test...hhhmmm an actress was my perfect career. Bi-Polar's seem to have a flair for the dramatic!! At 39 I can't start that career now.

Did many people in your life tell you to "grow up"? I heard/hear that alot...I pretty sure I don't want to grow up. To me being grown up seems to take all the joy out of life, but maybe I'm wrong. You seem rather grown up and joyous all in the same breathe, how did you achieve that? And how did you get a good job without a college degree? Maybe things are different in Canada, in the States you are no-one without a college degree.

I don't know if it was my ADDHD or my BP that prevented me from finishing college. Maybe it was simply not having any real idea what I wanted to do...I think I still don't know. I like too many things. I am not really sure what I am good at...getting fired?!

I actually like having ADDHD sometimes, like you said, it makes life very interesting. TV watching in part of multitasking for me...I am usually on my laptop while "watching". However, it can make settling down to do important things really difficult and at times, nearly impossible. School, in the past, fell into the important things category...

I can get frustrated easily...once again I don't know if it is the ADDHD or the BP. I always seem to end up blaming myself severely for something going wrong in my life. I then will become very very depressed. When I only make $20 at work... it is because I am fat & ugly & nobody likes me. And if I wasn't stupid with ADDHD I wouldn't be in this position(being a stripper) because I would have finished college and gotten a good job...but if I had finished college, would I have a good job since I get restless & bored and can never seem to keep jobs...? I have gotten fired from more jobs than I can count...I sometimes can be very difficult to get along with. Look out if I am in a "mood", I hate that part of me. It sometimes just happens, no mood...I am suddenly "there"...I am one of those people who likes to be left alone to do their work and not bothered. That ensures that nobody has to experiences my sharp tongue and my moodiness.

It is strange though, most of the time I am very quiet as a stripper. When I do inter-act with the customers I am very nice, exceptionally. Maybe because I know I am fat, so I have to be extra nice...grateful. Most customers don't care that I have a brain so, since I don't use it, I get bored easily. Small talk or idle chit chat makes me restless. Really not an exciting job...brainless.

I usually end up taking care of the screwed up girls at work...I guess to take my internal focus off of my myself and my problems...I'm not messed up on drugs so, in some ways, it makes me feel better about myself. And of course I avoid addressing my problems for a little while longer. Like a "stay of execution" Terrible...

Maybe I'm not so happy about knowing I'm BP...ignorance is bliss...it means I'm really "crazy" or "broken" and it's never going to go away...I am going to be "sick" for the rest of my life and it is just going to "lay in wait" with the help of Topamax. What happens if Topamax never really works for me...what if it doesn't "quiet the storm" and I don't lose weight? I have never considered this possibility!?
I think I am getting ahead of myself...

 

Topomax and redheads... » fierycelt

Posted by Storm Rider on January 31, 2006, at 15:53:15

In reply to Re: topamax - name change, posted by fierycelt on January 31, 2006, at 1:51:32

Oh, my Fiery Celt, tempestuous redheads are vital in this world... didn't you know? they have a purpose. I learned that in high school.
According to my high school chemistry teacher, redheads were created to add interest and excitement to the dull lives other people lead...
of course he also used to say he hoped I would become a teacher so my students could be his revenge...

As for acting, why can you not start acting at 39?
I have changed career paths so often that I have lost track and 39 is not too late... I was 32 when I decided I wanted to become a broadcaster... had left teaching for the antique business and was bored with that, so I walked into the local radio station and told the manager and news director they should hire me. They did. Not sure who was the more surprised actually.
Within a year I was Director of talk and information for the three stations. A couple of years later I was working for a national tv network part time as well and producing television shows for a cable network on the side and the radio network for which I worked was now a 16 station network...
Somewhere in there I found time to teach emotionally disturbed high school students in my spare time... that was a riot!!! ... and to help a friend in her flower shop... I can't stand having nothing to do...
Then the epilepsy began its drive for control of my life, so it was time to take it easy for a while.
During this relaxed era someone told me that there was a need for a particular sort of magazine and I should do something about it, so for seven years I published and edited a magazine. Sold it a year- and-a-half ago... it had become an eighteen-hour-a-day proposition, sometimes twenty and it was too hard on me. I have not looked at an issue since I sold it, don't want to know what it is like now that it is not my baby...
but it was a wild ride while it lasted and I miss it...
now I am back to television and I like being back at work although I prefer radio...
no one sees you and you can wear jeans and it doesn't matter if its a bad hair day or you bothered with make-up, and who cares how much you weigh...
ADD has a great influence on me... I cannot sit still and let life go past... I have to be busy stirring all the pots at once and throwing in other bits to change the recipe... and yes someone is always wondering when I am going to grow up...
the answer is never...
I am 'just only four years old' and plan to stay that way. Peter Pan and I are twins.
When one turns five one has to go to kindergarten. It is the law. In kindergarten the power struggle begins and personality changes dramatically. I don't want it to happen to me. I am never going to be paste monitor.
I want to live each minute until the last bit of emotion is wrung from it and then twist it a little harder before I move on to the next one; I do not want to try and exert dominance and power over the next guy.
As for college, well I did finish a basic liberal arts degree, but that is as much use as framed page from the Sunday comics...
I have acquaintances with doctorates and masters' who are working in fast food joints and acquaintances with BAs who areen't working at all or who have jobs that make yours look truly respectable...
You have an attitude toward yourself that is negative... but an attitude toward others that is compassionate...
how about turning some of that compassion towards yourself?
What would you say to one of the girls with whom you work if she suddenly described herself as fat and ugly?
Tell me how you would answer her...

The topomax can help you lose the urge to overeat...
but it cannot take away the negative feelings you have about you and those feelings can increase the urge to eat...

so, start looking at you...
right now...
look at you and find two good things about you...
we know you have red hair and
we know you are compassionate...
so tell us two others...

Get some almonds or cashews and eat an ounce or two of them before each meal...
stick to the slow titration of the topomax...
drink plenty of water...
and learn to like yourself....

You have to be okay... you're a friend of mine and I meet the neatest people...
kat

 

Re: Topomax and redheads...

Posted by fierycelt on February 1, 2006, at 0:47:03

In reply to Topomax and redheads... » fierycelt, posted by Storm Rider on January 31, 2006, at 15:53:15

Kat...I am glad you consider me a friend. I am glad to have "met" you. I certainly consider you a friend. Thank you. I feel grateful for stumbling upon this site. It was fate and of course, Dr. Bob...

I have never been an over-eater. I have never been a junk food eater and I don't even like soda! I grew up eating good nutritious food and was encouraged to exercise to burn off that extra ADDHD energy. Also probably to save my mother's sanity from her "busy" child. My mother was ahead of her time, she knew "enriched food" was food that had the nutrients sucked out and then put back in with preservatives.
The Lexapro wrecked my metabolism and caused me to develop Metabolic Syndrome. I went from 130lbs to 185lbs. Lexapro is poison. I wasn't happy, I wasn't unhappy. I was just there. I was sluggish and at times more depressed than ever. My GP put me on it because he thought I had PMS. It's not his fault he was just trying to help.

You have Epilepsy not BP...you don't have strange moody unexplainable behaviour. It makes it hard to get along with people and situations. It is like you are a strange prickly square peg trying to fit into a smooth round hole...very weird. Thus it has been easier for you to get jobs without a complete degree. Although nearly having a degree helps. These days, employers won't even talk to you , let alone take an application without a BA under your belt.
I qualify for the "would you like fries with that?" kind of jobs...I learn the job the first few days, the first few weeks I'm bored and after the first month I am frustrated, with a bad attitude...
I need to start feeling better, so I can convice someone to give me a chance, without a BA, and give me a good job, with good pay and good benefits. I am not making any money to cover my bills. My meds cost $250. and that is after what the insurance pays, lousy insurance. I have to do the clean up from the "hurricane" my life has become...oh yeah, my life has gone past riding out a storm. My debt is unbelieveably scary.

So, you see why I am in such a hurry to have my meds work...at a pace of 25mg every 2 weeks, it will take me 8 weeks to reach therapeutic levels. Impatient Redhead...hhhmmm

I realize Topamax is not a guaranteed "fix"...just a helper...boy do I need help!!! I just want to be normal...
I think the Topamax is starting to make me feel sick after I eat...
I am very depressed today...

oh...I'm a good phtographer, I think

Suzy

 

Re: Topomax and redheads... » fierycelt

Posted by storm rider on February 1, 2006, at 15:01:51

In reply to Re: Topomax and redheads..., posted by fierycelt on February 1, 2006, at 0:47:03

> Kat...I am glad you consider me a friend. I am glad to have "met" you. I certainly consider you a friend. Thank you. I feel grateful for stumbling upon this site. It was fate and of course, Dr. Bob...
>
> I have never been an over-eater. I have never been a junk food eater and I don't even like soda! I grew up eating good nutritious food and was encouraged to exercise to burn off that extra ADDHD energy. Also probably to save my mother's sanity from her "busy" child. My mother was ahead of her time, she knew "enriched food" was food that had the nutrients sucked out and then put back in with preservatives.
> The Lexapro wrecked my metabolism and caused me to develop Metabolic Syndrome. I went from 130lbs to 185lbs. Lexapro is poison. I wasn't happy, I wasn't unhappy. I was just there. I was sluggish and at times more depressed than ever. My GP put me on it because he thought I had PMS. It's not his fault he was just trying to help.
>
> You have Epilepsy not BP...you don't have strange moody unexplainable behaviour. It makes it hard to get along with people and situations. It is like you are a strange prickly square peg trying to fit into a smooth round hole...very weird. Thus it has been easier for you to get jobs without a complete degree. Although nearly having a degree helps. These days, employers won't even talk to you , let alone take an application without a BA under your belt.
> I qualify for the "would you like fries with that?" kind of jobs...I learn the job the first few days, the first few weeks I'm bored and after the first month I am frustrated, with a bad attitude...
> I need to start feeling better, so I can convice someone to give me a chance, without a BA, and give me a good job, with good pay and good benefits. I am not making any money to cover my bills. My meds cost $250. and that is after what the insurance pays, lousy insurance. I have to do the clean up from the "hurricane" my life has become...oh yeah, my life has gone past riding out a storm. My debt is unbelieveably scary.
>
> So, you see why I am in such a hurry to have my meds work...at a pace of 25mg every 2 weeks, it will take me 8 weeks to reach therapeutic levels. Impatient Redhead...hhhmmm
>
> I realize Topamax is not a guaranteed "fix"...just a helper...boy do I need help!!! I just want to be normal...
> I think the Topamax is starting to make me feel sick after I eat...
> I am very depressed today...
>
> oh...I'm a good phtographer, I think
>
> Suzy

Are you taking the topomax in the evenings? or in the mornings? If you start it in the mornings it causes a really nauseating experience...
been there and done that... yes, I know it is one of the passe expressions, but I don't really care... it covers the situation...
I almost stopped using the stuff, but then I decided to pick up the sheets the neurologist gave me with the prescription and lo and behold it said to start in the evening otherwise I would probably feel nauseous or worse...
duh... the paper was something I was supposed to read?????
who'd a thunk it...

It may surprise you to know that people are highly uncomfortable around epileptics...
it is something that no one wants to talk about...
my mother refused to mention it...
she didn't even tell me I had been diagnosed until a year ago!!! when I had to be hospitalised an episode that nearly killed me...
when I asked why she hadn't told me she informed me that illness was a sign of weakness and I had to learn to get on with my life; besides I didn't need to know...
When I was about 22 my doctor thought I might be epileptic but suggested we not mention it because of the stigma attached... it could cost me my teaching job and heaven knew what else might happen, after all, I didn't want my husband to leave me and take the children did I?
My son was about seven weeks old and my daughter about two-and-a-half...
and the doctor was convinced that if my husband were to find out I might be epileptic he would leave and sue for custody... an epileptic being not fit to care for children...
Things have changed somewhat but there are still people - employers among them - who expect an epileptic to have knock down raging frothing 'fits'...
Just last week as we were getting ready to start my show one of the cameramen made a crack about the smell of burnt toast when someone hit a particular switch, then apologised to me, because he thought I might think I was about to 'have a fit' when I smelled it...
He was actually trying to be sensitive, but he missed the mark by a country mile...
BiPolar-ism and other forms of depression are badly misunderstood by people who do not suffer the effects, and I appreciate the problems only too well...
but to some extent we wear the same moccasins...

as for the learning then getting bored, that is a shared problem too...
I need to be challenged all the time in my work -- can't count the number of career changes because of boredom...
I have been through so many incarnations that I have met myself coming in the door as I was going out...
You enjoy photography and are good at it?
Put it to work...
I love working with my cameras... so I shoot weddings and portraits and that supports my other bad habits... my nature photography which ends up as limited edition prints and stationery and post cards as well as my dog show and competition expenses...
I wanted to find other ways to deal with this epilepsy and the other health problems... the redhead stuff like immune problems and so on, so I studied reiki and IET and now am a reiki practitioner...
it will never make me rich, but it pays for the other things I need so it all the balls juggling in the air keep each other moving around...

and I don't get as bored as I used to...
and when I am bored I am miserable and become depressed... Seasonal affective disorder is a problem for me... about this time of year I can become so desperately depressed because of the lack of light that I need to be wildly occupied or I am unable to function...
and I refuse ever to use anti-depressants again...
so I keep juggling more balls in the air...

as long as I can keep them spinning up there I have no time to realise the days are short and the nights long and the sky is grey...

Find the things at which you are really good, then promote them... and promote you...

as for the weight, it will start of slowly I found then it will come off more noticeably...

just be sure to eat sensibly and it sounds as if you have that in hand...

and I am glad you are my friend...
I enjoy tempestuous interesting people...
such fun to be around...

and there are some truly caring and neat people here...
Stresser and Rainy come to mind and others I have just met in passing, but they will help you too,
trust me...
it is a strong place to be...
kat

 

Re: Topomax

Posted by redscarlet on February 2, 2006, at 6:40:30

In reply to Re: Topomax and redheads..., posted by fierycelt on February 1, 2006, at 0:47:03

HI I'm on Zonegran right now for bipolar and it is not working as well as Topamax has for me in the past.
I go to my pdoc on the 9th and plan on asking for a change but I need to know how to take the Topamax.
In the past (over two years ago) he gave me 100mg pills and within a month or less I was on 200mg of the stuff every night and I lost a LOT of hair and I think I didn't take the med the right way to start with (note: I did take vitamins). It DID work on my bipolar very well but I would like to avoid the hair loss this time if I can (note: L, at what mg's does your daughter loss her hair ?) So if Someone here can give me a dosing schedule on how to go from 0 to 200mgs that would be GREAT... THANK YOU so much.... :-) And Thanks everyone for sharing your story about Topamax... :-)

 

Re: topamax as an antidepressant.

Posted by SLS on February 2, 2006, at 7:52:13

In reply to Re: topamax, posted by fierycelt on January 29, 2006, at 18:31:11

Has anyone with chronic depression (bipolar or otherwise) been treated successfully with Topomax? How would you describe its antidepressant effects?

Thanks.


- Scott

 

Re: Topomax

Posted by rainy on February 2, 2006, at 15:54:49

In reply to Re: Topomax, posted by redscarlet on February 2, 2006, at 6:40:30

to Redscarlet and Scott: Scott first. I'm not sure there's much of an antidepressant effect with Topamax, Scott. I've been on it since 2002 or 3, but always with an antidepressant, and sometimes I've still been depressed. What it has done for me is to help to stabilize my moods (I have a diagnosis of BPII) and to strongly minimimize any urge to purge or to abuse alcohol.

I think I lost about ten pounds on it, too.

The literature says it's not an effective mood stabilizer, but I think it's worked for me. So far.

Al,l I can say for you, Redsacrlett is to start really slowly. Kar is the expert on dosing, here, but I began at 25 mgs and went up every two or three weeks by the same, adding 25 at night to make 50 and then after two weeks 25 in the morning for 75 and then maybe three weeks another 25 in the AM fo 100, but going back if that makes you sick or adding it at night. I experienced tingles in my hands and face and was crabby crabby crabby.

I used 90 mgs of zinc and 3000 of biotin (there's more info on the natural board? thread?) to deal with falling hair which I didn't have with Topamax but did with Lamictal. My ex-hair person said to rinse in cool water which does make whatever hair you have nice and shiny (no matter how badly it's been cut).

Just go slow and read back messages for more accurate dosing instructions. The package insert will have you going up faster than is comfortable and your doctor may not be aware that you can avoid a lot of side effects by going very very slowly.

I'm at 400 mgs and except for regular hair loss (I'm 63) so far I'm doing better than my husband--who keeps getting mistaken for my son--if you think that doesn't mess with my mood!!

Good luck to you both.

Rainy

 

Re: Topomax » redscarlet

Posted by Storm Rider on February 2, 2006, at 18:17:10

In reply to Re: Topomax, posted by redscarlet on February 2, 2006, at 6:40:30

> HI I'm on Zonegran right now for bipolar and it is not working as well as Topamax has for me in the past.
> I go to my pdoc on the 9th and plan on asking for a change but I need to know how to take the Topamax.
> In the past (over two years ago) he gave me 100mg pills and within a month or less I was on 200mg of the stuff every night and I lost a LOT of hair and I think I didn't take the med the right way to start with (note: I did take vitamins). It DID work on my bipolar very well but I would like to avoid the hair loss this time if I can (note: L, at what mg's does your daughter loss her hair ?) So if Someone here can give me a dosing schedule on how to go from 0 to 200mgs that would be GREAT... THANK YOU so much.... :-) And Thanks everyone for sharing your story about Topamax... :-)

Ask your doctor to start you at 25 mg a day starting in the evenings increasing the dosage at two week intervals until you reach half the total desired dosage...
when you reach the half then add 25 mg in the mornings and again go up by two week intervals in the mornings until the second half of the total dosage is reached...

kat

 

Re: Topomax

Posted by redscarlet on February 2, 2006, at 23:27:20

In reply to Re: Topomax » redscarlet, posted by Storm Rider on February 2, 2006, at 18:17:10

Thanks Rainy & Storm Rider / Kat, for your reply... :-)
I really hope my pdoc goes for the change from Zonegran to Topamax and if so I'll be sure to go slow on the dosing.
I'll let you know what he does next Thursday.
Have a Good Night and Thanks again... :-)

 

Re: Topomax » redscarlet

Posted by stresser on February 4, 2006, at 12:04:27

In reply to Re: Topomax, posted by redscarlet on February 2, 2006, at 23:27:20

I just found some time to read the posts, and am sorry it has takem me this long to respond.

My daughter noticed the hair loss was the greatest at 400mg per day. She now takes 300mg, (I take the same), and there may be some hair loss, but it could be the amount she would normally lose anyway. It is NOTHING, like before. In fact; I think, it could be possible that her body is becoming used to it and the side effectof the hair falling out is lessening even more with the 300mg. Relax about it, because I think I got myself more worried than I needed to be. (For sure) -L

 

Re: Topomax » stresser

Posted by redscarlet on February 4, 2006, at 18:59:37

In reply to Re: Topomax » redscarlet, posted by stresser on February 4, 2006, at 12:04:27

> I just found some time to read the posts, and am sorry it has takem me this long to respond.
>
> My daughter noticed the hair loss was the greatest at 400mg per day. She now takes 300mg, (I take the same), and there may be some hair loss, but it could be the amount she would normally lose anyway. It is NOTHING, like before. In fact; I think, it could be possible that her body is becoming used to it and the side effectof the hair falling out is lessening even more with the 300mg. Relax about it, because I think I got myself more worried than I needed to be. (For sure) -L
Thank you L .... :-)

I've been thinking about going on the Topamax or not all day.
I loose some hair on the Zonegran (more then normal) and just fear the Topamax will be worse (it was in the past).
I just can't make up my mind but it was good to get your reply and I'm so happy for your daughter (and you... :-) )
I guess I'm just going to talk to my pdoc about it on Thursday.
I'll let you all know what happens.
Have a GOOD Night and Thanks again... :-)



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