Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 579773

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can your memory of depression make you depressed?

Posted by spriggy on November 17, 2005, at 18:18:48

This is so strange- I'm not even sure how to ask the question or describe what is happening to me.

I had been doing so well- better than I have all year (mentally).

Anyway, a friend from church called me Monday and had locked herself into her car saying she wanted to die, couldn't live anymore, her marriage was over, etc.. She was having a nervous breakdown.

I went and picked her up- took her up to the hospital that I was admitted to ( back in February-psychiatric unit), and we waited in the ER for nearly 7 hours before they even evaluated her.

FINALLY the psych evaluated her (at midnight) and decided that "yes she needs to be here but we don't have a room available until tomorrow."

So I drove her to my house, put her in my bed (my husband slept with our son) and all through the night she woke me up crying/screaming/shaking/freaking out.

Thankfully, they had given her Ativan at the ER (and Ambien) so I got up and gave her the meds... would pray with her until she fell back to sleep, etc..

The next morning, they called and said her room was ready so I went with her and watched her go through the exact, same ordeal I went through when being put into that place.

It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO weird for me to be back there (and yet not "be there" for myself). I stayed with her as long as they allowed me; they put her in her room (which was two doors down from mine) and gave her meds to calm down. Once she fell asleep, I left.

I cried the entire drive home ( 45 minutes). It's hard to describe but it was almost like it was TOOOOO much for me to see someone go through the EXACT same thing I had gone through and be in the EXACT same place I had been.

But at the same time, she had no one to be there for her- and especially no one who could understand her desperation and pain.. So I know I was "meant" to be there, but I have been struggling myself sooo much since.


It's almost like I was reminded of my misery and my memory has taken me back there..

I'm almost trying to "trick" my mind into not remembering any of it.


Does this make ANY sense??

 

Re: can your memory of depression make you depressed?

Posted by Gee on November 17, 2005, at 18:32:29

In reply to can your memory of depression make you depressed?, posted by spriggy on November 17, 2005, at 18:18:48

It does make sense. It's never easy to watch a friend go through exactly what you went through. Just remember, it's not you, you're not there. You can help her, and be there for her, because you understand more than most people, just remember it's not you.

Be strong. Good luck

 

Re: can your memory of depression make you depressed?

Posted by linkadge on November 17, 2005, at 19:03:56

In reply to Re: can your memory of depression make you depressed?, posted by Gee on November 17, 2005, at 18:32:29

It is totally possable. The sight of a bad working location brings back memories of the depression I had there. They are hard to shake.

Linkadge

 

Re: can your memory of depression make you depressed? » spriggy

Posted by Emily Elizabeth on November 17, 2005, at 19:26:22

In reply to can your memory of depression make you depressed?, posted by spriggy on November 17, 2005, at 18:18:48

I don't have any insight into your question, but I just wanted to write to tell you that you have a very kind heart. Your friend is very lucky to have you.

Best,
EE

 

Re: can your memory of depression make you depressed?

Posted by Phillipa on November 17, 2005, at 22:41:24

In reply to Re: can your memory of depression make you depressed? » spriggy, posted by Emily Elizabeth on November 17, 2005, at 19:26:22

Spriggy you can help her better than anyone else. You have walked in her shoes. Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: can your memory of depression make you depressed? » spriggy

Posted by 4WD on November 17, 2005, at 22:44:11

In reply to can your memory of depression make you depressed?, posted by spriggy on November 17, 2005, at 18:18:48

I think so, Spriggy. I believe something like that could definitely trigger some deep emotional stuff. I also think, though, that it will pass on its own. Try not to let it control your thinking. I would be surprised if you weren't shaken up. It was very kind of you to be there for your friend.

I sometimes think that if I didn't have the memory of waking up scared every morning for the past year, I wouldn't still be waking up scared. It's like I'm expecting it and so it appears.

Marsha

 

Yes....*trigger*

Posted by Sonya on November 18, 2005, at 8:22:49

In reply to can your memory of depression make you depressed?, posted by spriggy on November 17, 2005, at 18:18:48

It absolutely makes sense. This past September I slipped into another depressive episode because it was the anniversary of my suicide attempt and subsequent hospitalization. At the time I thought I was being a weenie but my pdoc and T said reminders (like anniversaries) are difficult to cope with for many people.

Every day I sit at my desk at work facing a window that has a view of the spot where I od'd. It's very difficult to get past the memory when you're reminded daily.


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