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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tepiaca on September 6, 2005, at 12:21:30
I have just lost the most important girl in my
life ( apart from mom and grandmom ).
She realized that I can´t treat her as she wants to be treated, and that she can´t be my nurse for the rest of my life.
This is all my fault, I never made her feel as
the queen she is.
She always did everything she could to help and support me and I never noticed this. My mind was in other place thinking how to get out of this problem, unawared that I was hurting her
with my indiference and my lack of love. Now she is gone and ready to date other men. Just thinking about her with other makes me feel so bad. I can´t say Im happy with this but maybe such a nice person does not deserve to spent her life with someone like me.So after this, I am worried with all this stuff. I have thought that I have lost all capacity to love. With love I mean real and honest love that last forever.
Do you think that someone with mental problems can love like a normal person?Does love have something to do with brain chemistry? I read an study that showed how a person that is falled in love presents cerebral activity in some specific parts of the brain that people who are not in love dont have.
Do you think meds can affects people´s ability to love ????
Have you fall in love after taking or being on meds??
Posted by willyee on September 6, 2005, at 12:33:01
In reply to Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by Tepiaca on September 6, 2005, at 12:21:30
When i got close to someone this past year,i mean close,where i felt they knew me,i knew them,knowing they were gonna be over for example that nigh made me feel better the whole day,yess it was a feeling of a little normality have someone in your life,being able to conudct a actual relationship not only helps by having the person there for you to enjoy,but makes u feel more grounded,normal,and accomplished that u can keep a relationship togther.
Before this girl id casualy date,fore i knoew i couldent hold a realtionship,i cant expect no one to accept the terms i have to give them,this girl did.Well when it ended i was reminded of another reason why i tried to stay away from dating,u throw loosing a loved one or relationship the pain of it,on top of the pain of ordnairy depression and its magnifide like u can never believed.
Now i date occasionaly,and stay lonly as living he-,but i guess its the way it has to be.
Posted by wildcard on September 6, 2005, at 17:45:41
In reply to Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by Tepiaca on September 6, 2005, at 12:21:30
I honestly don't know the answer re:meds and love (feeling) but i'm sorry you're hurting. It's always hard to lose people we care about but time does help. Please don't blame yourself. It takes two and you have an illness that makes life so much harder. I know it can be hard on the other person when they are w/ someone that suffers from any illness but true love that is meant to be wouldn't just leave. Please dont blame yourself. I'm sure there is someone out there, you just havnt found them yet. I know that i feel i have an inability to *love* since my depression became so bad but i dont know if it's meds. related. Things have a funny way of working themselves out.
Posted by Phillipa on September 6, 2005, at 20:57:28
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by wildcard on September 6, 2005, at 17:45:41
Tepiaca I'm so sorry you're still hurting. But it's a known fact that when you're in a love relationship endorphins are raised. hence less depression. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Declan on September 6, 2005, at 23:07:34
In reply to Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by Tepiaca on September 6, 2005, at 12:21:30
Yes Tep, I think meds can effect your capacity to love, and especially to make love. But it is very clear from your words that you are able to love and feel sorrow at loss very strongly. And you are obviously a real sweetie, so I dunno what the problem is, just all f#%$ed up, I guess. Did you ever try Parnate, I can't remember?
Declan
Posted by TheMagicPill on September 8, 2005, at 17:01:54
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by Declan on September 6, 2005, at 23:07:34
man, this post speaks to me like no other. i, too, want to find a significant other, yet when that possibility arises, i sometimes sink into defeated thinking, saying to myself "this person will never be interested in me once she finds out how screwed up i am"
however, that is just a bunch of lies. contrary to the false images portrayed on TV, the etc., the truth of the matter is that EVERYONE has ISSUES. while yours and mine may be depression or anxiety, theirs may be alcoholism, work addiction, self esteem problems from being emotionally tormented as a child, and on and on and on. one thing for sure: they are dealing with something in their life. we all are.
so where does that leave us with love? well ... you have just got to put yourself out there on a limb. from my past experiences, ive learned things usually turn out bad if i dump all of my problems on the table at the very beginning. if i talk out things slowly over time, everything goes better.
true love is accepting someone unconditionally, worts and all. it is out there for you, for me, somewhere.
Posted by Tepiaca on September 8, 2005, at 21:24:15
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by wildcard on September 6, 2005, at 17:45:41
>Please dont blame yourself. I'm sure there is someone out there, you just havnt found them yet.
I feel I am never gonna find someones that love me as she does. I think I also lover her but this mental problem do not let me think clearly. Im very sad wildcard =(.
thanks for your answer
Posted by Tepiaca on September 8, 2005, at 21:27:23
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by willyee on September 6, 2005, at 12:33:01
>
> Well when it ended.....why did it end????
>
> Now i date occasionaly,and stay lonly as living he-,but i guess its the way it has to be.
so you think you are better alone that with someoneelse??
Posted by wildcard on September 8, 2005, at 21:27:25
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love...... » wildcard, posted by Tepiaca on September 8, 2005, at 21:24:15
Posted by Tepiaca on September 8, 2005, at 21:28:33
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by Phillipa on September 6, 2005, at 20:57:28
> Tepiaca I'm so sorry you're still hurting. But it's a known fact that when you're in a love relationship endorphins are raised. hence less depression. Fondly, Phillipa
Thank you philipa. You always answering my posts =)
Posted by Tepiaca on September 8, 2005, at 21:34:42
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by Declan on September 6, 2005, at 23:07:34
> Yes Tep, I think meds can effect your capacity to love, and especially to make love. But it is very clear from your words that you are able to love and feel sorrow at loss very strongly. And you are obviously a real sweetie, so I dunno what the problem is, just all f#%$ed up, I guess.
Thank you Dec. I miss my girl =(. Maybe one day I could be with her again,
Did you ever try Parnate, I can't remember?
> DeclanNo never. I have think on it. But now I dont know what the heck is happening
I have been one week on Nardil at 30mg . The fear has return and very strong. I am very confused. Being on meds makes me feel more afraid???? what is happening here??? Oh my god I wish someone could tell me what is wrong with my brain. I am losing everything
Posted by Tepiaca on September 8, 2005, at 21:38:12
In reply to Re: The bottom line: EVERYONE has ISSUES, posted by TheMagicPill on September 8, 2005, at 17:01:54
> man, this post speaks to me like no other. i, too, want to find a significant other, yet when that possibility arises, i sometimes sink into defeated thinking, saying to myself "this person will never be interested in me once she finds out how screwed up i am"
> however, that is just a bunch of lies. contrary to the false images portrayed on TV, the etc., the truth of the matter is that EVERYONE has ISSUES. while yours and mine may be depression or anxiety, theirs may be alcoholism, work addiction, self esteem problems from being emotionally tormented as a child, and on and on and on. one thing for sure: they are dealing with something in their life. we all are.
>
> so where does that leave us with love? well ... you have just got to put yourself out there on a limb. from my past experiences, ive learned things usually turn out bad if i dump all of my problems on the table at the very beginning. if i talk out things slowly over time, everything goes better.
>
> true love is accepting someone unconditionally, worts and all. it is out there for you, for me, somewhere.thank you Magic pill
I really liked and enjoyed your post. it is so true all that you said.
Greetings
Tep
Posted by phillipa on September 8, 2005, at 22:01:18
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love...... » Phillipa, posted by Tepiaca on September 8, 2005, at 21:28:33
Your so sweet Tepicia. Thanks for taking the time when you're so sad to answer. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by laurenjb on September 9, 2005, at 13:42:44
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love...... » Tepiaca, posted by phillipa on September 8, 2005, at 22:01:18
First, I want to say that Phillipa must be the kindest person on earth. Her posts are always compassionate and give me much-needed hope.
This issue really affects me, too. I am 36 and my way of dealing with fear of rejection is to have casual relationships with younger guys where there is always an understanding that things are temporary (my friend calls it "planned obsolescence"). It helps in the sense of having distraction, physical intimacy and the sense of feeling attractive and wanted, but I really want a long-term relationship and children and this is obviously not going to get me there. I am finally talking with my therapist about this and trying to make better decisions about men, but, ultimately, I have to agree with the poster (sorry, I forget who it was!) who said, in a nutshell, that everyone is imperfect and that that certainly does not preclude love. Sometimes it's not the best time for us (like me -- just got out of the hospital -- not such a good catch right now :-)), but I know that I need to believe it will happen for me and I hope that you all can believe for yourselves, too. Take care, Lauren
Posted by wildcard on September 9, 2005, at 16:25:09
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love......, posted by laurenjb on September 9, 2005, at 13:42:44
you will not only be able to love someone, but that someone will also love you back !! For now, take care of yourself and i'm glad you're home and doing better.
Posted by Declan on September 10, 2005, at 2:11:57
In reply to Re: Mental problems, Meds and love...... » Declan, posted by Tepiaca on September 8, 2005, at 21:34:42
Hi Tep
One of the best things about parnate is that it doesn't cause sexual dysfunction. But it's probably not so good for social phobia.
But you seem to find that Nardil has inconsistant effects on your fear, and is not always helpful. Is that right?
Declan
This is the end of the thread.
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