Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 366441

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Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!

Posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 9:44:29

Hey guys - okay, so basically my hypochondria is in full swing. Here's the story. I had to go get an MRI this morning on my lower back for some odd sensations and numbness in my right foot. They think it could be a nerve/disc thing as I lift weights and do strenuous things with my back. So anyway, I am in there this morning and in the waiting room. They called the lady behind me to get checked in and were asking why she was there and she said she had a brain tumor in 02 that was removed but that her symptoms are BACK! They asked her what they are and she said DIZZINESS! (by the way, i take 10mg lex/day for anxiety - have no depression issues or anything and this is the first time i have ever taken anything besides xanax. been on lex about 6 weeks- 28 year old female)

Now - many of you have responded to the post i posted originally about DIZZINESS. I have had vertigo apparently twice - but as a hypochondriac - you think that that isn't what you have. I had lingering dizziness post vertigo and it did not subside until several weeks on lex. I tried to attribute it to anxiety.

I am now convinced that my lower back MRI will be normal and I will then believe that the problem with my extremities and dizziness (and sometimes vision) is certainly a brain tumor. I hate living this way! Do you guys have any advice? SHould i just demand an MRI of the head when I see my doc next?

Oh yes, by the way, I have thought that I have had a brain tumor before and had a cat scan 6 years ago because I freaked out on the doc at a doc in the box and that was the first time i was given xanax. haha - of course i didn't.

Oh and if you have never had an MRI...i hope you don't have to. That whole 20 minutes of being stuffed into a small machine with horrible sounds is enough to induce an anxiety attack on a dead person!

Captain

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!

Posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 10:17:56

In reply to Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!, posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 9:44:29

i have also had some ringing in my ears the past two days so now i am just convinced it is a tumor. i am not going to read anything else online cause that just makes my heart pound. What should i do??

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!

Posted by Racer on July 15, 2004, at 15:25:51

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!, posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 10:17:56

Heheheh, wouldn't it be nice if *knowing* were the same as believing? Make life so much easier, wouldn't it?

This is only off the cuff response, not informed advice, so take it for whatever you think it's worth. I wouldn't have the MRI, because you already *know* that it's more likely the power of suggestion than a real probability. All the sypmtoms you've described -- visual disturbance, dizziness, etc -- can be explained by the anxiety itself, and if you get a clean head scan, it's as likely to leave you dissatisfied as to calm your fears. If I were going to offer any advice, it would be to talk to your doctor about this, and ask for advice and try to listen to it with an open mind. I'm guessing the advice would be to look into psychotherapy, which is also what my own personal advice would include. Now, on this board, I hope you can understand that I'm emphatically *not* saying, "it's all in your head, so you need therapy." That's a very condescending sort of an attitude for a doctor to take, in my not at all humble on this subject opinion. That's offered as a "having been in similar situations, the thing that has helped me the most and been of great benefit for me has been psychotherapy in addition to medications, and it might be helpful to you if you're not already doing it."

(It's so hard, in writing, to know how what one writes will be taken. I really do mean to offer support and help, but I'm afraid that it might come across as the same sort of dismissive condescencion that some doctors tend towards with this sort of thing. I hope that you're not reading it that way, and if you are, please accept my apologies.)

Anyway, vertigo is a [expletive deleted], which I can say having had it. Worrying about your physical health is also awful. Best luck on the Lexapro helping quickly and reducing your anxiety.

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!

Posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 16:23:47

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!, posted by Racer on July 15, 2004, at 15:25:51

Hi Racer! Thanks a bunch! I didn't take it the wrong way!

I know i can be creating this - I just wish it could go away! I might try some counseling - I haven't been in years when I was in marriage counseling. It can't hurt. Thanks again!\
Captain

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!

Posted by JenStar on July 16, 2004, at 1:30:45

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!, posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 10:17:56

hey guys,
I'm going to give a different advice-path from Racer's (sorry, Racer!) I agree that the best course of action would be to skip the MRI and deal with the fears through psychotherapy.

However, that might not be possible yet for you. It sounds to me like you're in the midst of a full-blown serious can't-do-anything-else-but-worry hypochondria attack.

Sometimes, unfortunately, the quickest way to work out of these is to GET some of those tell-all tests done, get the peace of mind to turn off that positive feedback loop in the brain that has run amok.

Although I'm sure that on a rational level you know that you don't have a brain tumor, some part of your brain is convinced that you do, or might, and it's REALLY hard to turn off that "channel" once the signal has become so strong. My doctor likened it to a form of OCD -- you're not compulsive about washing your hands, but you're (I'm!) obsessive about a health worry, and once you start obsessing it just gets worse and worse until you can somehow break the cycle.

I think one way to "cure" serious hypochondriacs -- the only way to get peace of mind -- is to see the MRI and know that there is no tumor in there. (Really, not even a tiny little invisible one that is hidden cleverly amidst the regular brain "stuff"...)

THEN -- once you get your negative test results -- you can start serious therapy with a good person and work on how to avoid future health worry melt-downs.

You don't want to have to get an MRI each time something happens, becuase it's so stressful on your mind and body and life. Maybe this can be the turning point for you. Get these tests, see that all is OK, and THEN work with some good people on how to avoid this in the future. Make this your last MRI!

OR -- meet with a doctor who is familiar with brain tumor symptoms and talk about other ways, apart from MRI, to determine once and for all that you don't have a tumor.


It truly sounds to me like all the symptoms that you have and keep getting these past few days are the results of ever-increasing anxiety. Anxiety can do nasty things to a person. I think you're going to be OK once you get on top of the anxiety.

Whatever path you take, know that we are rooting for you & thinking of you!

JenStar, the MRI Master, who went through this and hopefully had HER last MRI (smile)

> i have also had some ringing in my ears the past two days so now i am just convinced it is a tumor. i am not going to read anything else online cause that just makes my heart pound. What should i do??

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!

Posted by JenStar on July 16, 2004, at 1:47:45

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!, posted by Racer on July 15, 2004, at 15:25:51

hi Racer,
I think you offer really sound advice. The only reason I gave a different option is because I went through something so similar to Captain (maybe we're identical hypochondria twins that were separated at birth, haha).

Without being condescending (and you certainly didn't sound it, either!) some people I trusted gave me that exact advice and I could not take it. I knew it was the 'right' thing to do, but my mind was so strange and crazy, all my thoughts and health fears whirling around like a colorful carnival ride, every symptom echoing around in my head, that I was just a complete basket case. I couldn't break out of it without seeing the results staring me in the face. Even then (as you pointed out!) I had a hard time believing I was "ok" and it was "in my head." I knew the mind was powerful but it was hard to imagine that it could do such destructive things to me.

But once I got those tests back I slowly began to back out of the weird health corner and got my sanity back (with the help of Lexapro and Xanax.) Then I started to work with a therapist to formulate plans never to have to go through that again, the next time I had some random health worry.

I guess I'm a bit of a "collector" and shopaholic, and maybe that translates over into health. Towels are on sale? Buy two! New shampoo? Let's try it! And of course..MRI's? Why not? Let's try it! In fact, let's get 2 of those, too! So I suppose I lead a live of excess, in a way, and I'm not the best health role model.

But it's another point of view...
Take care, be well. All of you!
JenStar

> Heheheh, wouldn't it be nice if *knowing* were the same as believing? Make life so much easier, wouldn't it?
>
> This is only off the cuff response, not informed advice, so take it for whatever you think it's worth. I wouldn't have the MRI, because you already *know* that it's more likely the power of suggestion than a real probability. All the sypmtoms you've described -- visual disturbance, dizziness, etc -- can be explained by the anxiety itself, and if you get a clean head scan, it's as likely to leave you dissatisfied as to calm your fears. If I were going to offer any advice, it would be to talk to your doctor about this, and ask for advice and try to listen to it with an open mind. I'm guessing the advice would be to look into psychotherapy, which is also what my own personal advice would include. Now, on this board, I hope you can understand that I'm emphatically *not* saying, "it's all in your head, so you need therapy." That's a very condescending sort of an attitude for a doctor to take, in my not at all humble on this subject opinion. That's offered as a "having been in similar situations, the thing that has helped me the most and been of great benefit for me has been psychotherapy in addition to medications, and it might be helpful to you if you're not already doing it."
>
> (It's so hard, in writing, to know how what one writes will be taken. I really do mean to offer support and help, but I'm afraid that it might come across as the same sort of dismissive condescencion that some doctors tend towards with this sort of thing. I hope that you're not reading it that way, and if you are, please accept my apologies.)
>
> Anyway, vertigo is a [expletive deleted], which I can say having had it. Worrying about your physical health is also awful. Best luck on the Lexapro helping quickly and reducing your anxiety.

 

Hypocondriacs and Serzone and Liver -- oh my! » JenStar

Posted by Racer on July 16, 2004, at 13:39:02

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP! one more thing!, posted by JenStar on July 16, 2004, at 1:47:45

Listen, no offense taken. The only reason I reacted to your other post was exactly what I said in it: I was concerned that it might upset the original poster. That's actually one of the best things about this board: a lot of the people here really are capable of letting go of grudges and just moving past it. Sometimes, I'm even one of them ;-D

As for your point, it is well taken. I agree that there are times when just getting the dang test done is the best choice, and this might be one of them. So, we can be like other Babblers -- we can agree that sometimes we disagree. Sound good to you?

As for the subject line above, that's my story: I took Serzone for a while, and shortly after starting it was hospitalized for a while with something that was originally called mono, but the doctor who admitted me thought it didn't really look like mono. Long story short, despite a couple of liver panels, I still worry that it was the hepatotoxicity of Serzone that caused that sickness, and that it may have caused permanent damage to my liver. (Add in a recent episode with liver "masses" discovered, an offhand remark about cancer, and you can imagine what I went through. The end result, by the way, is that I know I don't have liver cancer, but I still want a full liver function test and I want the doctor to explain EVERY portion of it to me, in words I can understand, to prove that the Serzone *didn't* poison me.)

So, I agree, there really are times when it's worth getting the test just to get it off the table.

 

Re: Hypocondriacs and Serzone and Liver -- oh my!

Posted by JenStar on July 16, 2004, at 15:42:42

In reply to Hypocondriacs and Serzone and Liver -- oh my! » JenStar, posted by Racer on July 16, 2004, at 13:39:02

hey Racer and all,
I love to argue (it's fun for me!) and I def. don't take offense when someone disagrees with me. I'll just have to be careful not to offend with blunt language. I won't ever argue here just for the sake of it - I'll only post things I really do believe in.

Sorry about your liver experience - it sounds awful & scary. I'm glad you're OK!

Take care.
talk to you soon! :)
JenStar

 

Captain, how are you doing?

Posted by JenStar on July 19, 2004, at 11:20:29

In reply to Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!, posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 9:44:29

hey Captain,
how are you doing? How are you feeling? Just wanted to check & see.

Hope you're well & that you had a nice weekend.

JenStar

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 19, 2004, at 15:25:25

In reply to Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!, posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 9:44:29

Captain,

I can sure relate to your worries. Mine wasn't a brain tumor, it was MS. I had a brain MRI and once I saw the results (The MRI tech felt so bad for me he let me see my brain) my symptoms went away. My symptoms were dizziness, tingling, etc. I don't know why I didn't focus on a brain tumor, I was just so positive it was MS. Anyway, within 5 minutes of the scan, all of my "symptoms" disappeared.

I think the positive thing here is that you KNOW you are a hypochondriac. So many of us fail to admit this. So I see 2 routes:

Get the brain MRI and have 100% proof that you are tumor free (And ACCEPT this proof) or

Don't get the scan and see if you are satified with the back results.

Like you, every symptom I read about or heard about, I took on.

I have been in therapy once a week now for a year and so far my hypochondria has been in remission. It is usually an indicator of depression. Are you in therapy?

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 19, 2004, at 15:31:10

In reply to Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!, posted by captain on July 15, 2004, at 9:44:29

Wish I had seen this thread earlier, it is a topic near and dear to my heart.

Hypochondria was killing me. I had MS. Then I had Parkinson's. Then I had Lou Gehrig's Disease. I was surfing the net 6 hours a day looking up symptoms. When I found a new sytptom I didn't know about, I would develop it the next day. It was ruining my life and my relationship with my husband. I had every test under the sun and then I just had to accept it was all in my head.

Psychotherapy has been a Godsend. I cannot stress this enough. Now that I have gotten my anxiety and depression under control I haven't had an "episode" in over a year.

Please let us know how you're doing!

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!

Posted by captain on July 19, 2004, at 16:32:08

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!, posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 19, 2004, at 15:31:10

Hey everyone! JenStar - you are so sweet to ask and remember!

Well, I found out today that the lower back MRI scan was normal - no disc or nerve issues detected. So of course that leaves me back at the beginning with wondering why my right foot/lower leg gets kind of heavy/numb/tingly. I actually developed a sinus infection over the weekend (too run down and probably too many trips to doctors offices where i pick up germs!) so I had to go back in to the doctor today and they gave me augmentin to help knock out this cold because I have to fly to give a huge presentation on Wednesday!

I wanted so badly to ask about getting a brain MRI today, but I just couldn't. How do you guys GET THESE TESTS? I don't know why, but I just FEEL like such an hypochondriac for suggesting that I have one when my doc doesn't seem the least bit concerned with the numbness. In fact today she told me the MRI was fine, we moved quickly onto something else and then we were done and she left. I realized there was NO discussion of what would happen next to assess my foot. (as we speak i am closing my left eye b/c one of them seems blurry so i feel the need to check! UGH!)I guess i just feel too proud to fall apart and seem so weak in her office - maybe that means i need a new doc?

Miss Honeychurch - I am actually not in therapy. I don't suffer from depression. I am actually very upbeat and outgoing and a happy person. I just come from a long line of worriers and anxiety ridden people. My mother, my sister, my cousin, my aunt - we all worry. Mostly about health and something happening to a loved one. I did call to set up a therapist appointment though to discuss working on my hypochondria and trying to train my brain to think differently. If I have been out of town for 2 days and call my parents and my sister and my brother and I can't reach anyone, my immediate thought is that something terrible has happened and everyone is at a hospital somewhere and no one wanted to tell me until they could tell me in person. I know that is SO over the top - i am very in touch with my anxiety! haha - however, i can't help but think like that, so i think therapy might be able to help change that.

Anyway, sorry for the long post! I am feeling better (minus the cold) and am not as worried about the brain tumor as I was last week. I will probably call the nurse at my doc's office to see what they suggest i do next for my foot.

Thanks so much JenStar for reaching out to me- you are so sweet!
Captain :)


 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!

Posted by JenStar on July 19, 2004, at 23:02:02

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!, posted by captain on July 19, 2004, at 16:32:08

hey Captain, (and all other hypochondriacs) --
we should start an "I thought I had MS" club. There are more of us out there than I thought!

Captain, I got the MRI b/c my primary care referred me to a neurologist. The PC said my symptoms were "enough like" MS to warrant follow-up. The neurologist agreed and said that the 2 MRI's (c-spine and brain) would be the right ones to do. They turned out OK, but I was a complete nervous wreck waiting for the results. I can't even describe the state I was in. Looking back on it, I was in some kind of zombie hypochondriac hell where all I could think about was the disease I was SURE I had. I could do nothing w/o thinking of it, constantly! I never ever want to be that way again, for an imaginary or real illness. It was worse than being sick -- feeling that much anxiety.

That was when the neurologist said I should consider Lexapro plus therapy to get a handle on my disease-generating thoughts.

I had not considered that I was depressed, becuase like you I am normally upbeat and funny and happy and jokey. But when I started working with the therapist, I discovered that I was actually depressed about some things in my life. (Miss Honeychurch, you are right about therapy being helpful!)

I still don't think those things caused my physical sypmtoms, and I don't know where the symptoms came from. But I sure am glad they are gone! Pretty much gone, anyway. I still have some but I've accepted the fact that I don't have ALS...

Anyway, I agree that if you won't be able to rest until you see a brain scan, ask your primary care for a neurology referral & get the test done. I know I probably sound 'test happy' but it gave me peace of mind, and a 'clean slate' to start fresh. Once I knew I was well, I could concentrate on staying that way and not letting my anxiety get the better of me again.

I think the LEx really helps me keep the diseases out of my mind!

Anyway, hope your cold gets better, good luck on the business trip, and write again when you get a chance.

By the way, you should post your 'top ten' list! I've seen a few people do that and I tried it -- it's fun. List out 10 things that make you happy. It's a quick pick-me-up.

take care,
JenStar

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 20, 2004, at 8:36:19

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!, posted by JenStar on July 19, 2004, at 23:02:02

It's funny that us hypochondriacs most of the time go with the neurological disorders.

I think the only way I was able to get a brain scan was because I was so convincing with my GP. And I even brought it up. I also had a very wierd symptom - I had lost my ability to smell. I could smell nothing for 1.5 years. And then, after being in therapy for 9 months, it came back overnight. Purely psychsomatic.

Also, I too never thought I was depressed. I have been the life of the party ever since I can remember and always have a smile for everyone. I just thought I was anxious. In my case anyway, all of the smiling and good cheer was just a huge cover up for my own depression. I had fooled myself into thinking there was nothing wrong. It felt really good to let down this facade (gradually) in therapy.

Anyway, therapy helps with the anxiety and the hypochondriacal thoughts.

 

Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!

Posted by captain on July 20, 2004, at 11:17:37

In reply to Re: Fellow Hypochondriacs - HELP!, posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 20, 2004, at 8:36:19

Hey everyone! Jen - I could only imagine the hell of waiting for those test results! When I was sure I had a brain tumor 6 years ago and had a cat scan - i was a MESS! that was the first time i was given xanax. My mom and sister (also fellow worriers) came over waiting for the results and I called 5 times to see if they were in. When they finally said it was fine, i actually popped champagne (i am not kidding!) - i was so happy. And i was only 22! haha

Of course I think 6 years is a long time for something else to brew up and I know an MRI is much more detailed than a cat scan. I am going to get a referral to a nuerologist for my foot if it begins to bother me again. So far so good since I got the clean scan results of the back. (i of course thought they would find some weird rare cancer growing on my spine!)

I was thinking back and realized i went to a nuerologist 6 years ago after the ct scan for this same foot! and my anxiety was thru the roof then, so I wonder if this just is the way my body manifests my anxiety.

I just love having this board. I am setting up an appointment with a therapist who does a lot of work with hypochondriacs and death fearing/anxiety ridden people. We will see how that goes. I was in marraige counseling for a year a few years ago and I really liked counseling. Even if you are healthy I think it is great to have someone to talk to!

Have a healthy day!
Captain


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