Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 238206

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Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on May 20, 2004, at 23:26:23

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal Nathan23, posted by BarbaraCat on May 20, 2004, at 22:09:41

Ride it out bareback until the undertoe spits me out!
GREAT ANALOGY! I've definitely been there. That's what it feels like to emerge from a deep depression. Like you've just been spit out of a whirling mass of confusion and darkness and chaos and SPAT! out onto the beautiful and serene white sand beach like nothing ever happened.

Anxiety and sensitivity. Check out http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adultsid/. (I'm Kat on there) It all feels very interrelated.
I also feel I have a big anxiety disorder intermixed - or is it DSI or bipolar?????
As my pdoc said, the anxiety can manifest itself in different ways - through obsessional thinking, worrying, dread, etc.
Keep in touch! gotta go - head hurts!
Katia

 

Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on May 21, 2004, at 19:51:01

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat, posted by katia on May 20, 2004, at 23:16:26

>>Life coaching program. I ain't ready!!!!! You can imagine all the issues that come up around that - anxiety, I'm no good, I'm stupid, what can I do to "help" anyone? etc. etc. AND WHEN? do I find the time? yikes.....

**That is alot to bite off at once. Deadlines are hard!! - and being a landlady on top of it all! Well, you just have to find one client, that first one, and the rest will be gravy. You KNOW you're gonna be great at this so I wouldn't stress about that other stuff. Old tapes. You've been through alot and it's not everyone who can or wants to support and accompany another through those scary places, so you'll do fine. Oh, here are two wonderful books that might help: "The Places that Scare You" and "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron.

> >>That's so interesting that your downs are more quiet and manageable w/o meds. I'm wondering about all these bipolar stuff. I've been reading a lot lately about Sensory Integration Disorder (SID or DSI) and also reading a book called "The Highly Sensitive Person" and god how I can relate to this more than the bipolar thing. I wonder if my bipolar thing is a symptom of SID/DSI.

**This is the first I've heard of SID/DSI. I definitely want more info!! I got the forum url from your other email and will visit the site, but if you have anything else to share, I'm all ears (or eyes in this case).

I too wonder about the BP thing, that it's really an overamped nervous system and overreaction to stress. But I guess when you come down to it, what's the diff? It's all due to stress IMHO. I sure know that those godawful mixed states depressions are some wild chemical storms. Time will tell if being off meds makes a difference. I can go a long time with garden variety depression, but those screeching wailing banshee nightmare things I cannot take. I probably should have an anti-psychotic handy just in case cause those things are really scary and wear me down.

>>My immune system is down, I can tell because of a rare "cold sore" I get once every two years when I'm REALLY run down.

**I've got one of those pesky 'cold sores' that keep making the rounds on me lately. Sometimes I think (and have read in a number of sources) that much of what I/we deal with physically and emotionally are really pathogens. I could really sense a 'before and after' after I picked up some really weird bug in the late '80's at -- you'll love this -- a mud bath spa in Calistoga that eventually had health warrants against it.

>>I feel really tired a lot. Maybe Paxil?

**Could be. A friend recently upped her Paxil and is alot more tired and feeling swooshy.

>>Not sure which is worse - mental or physical pain as they both make every second a challenging torture. Are there any meds you can take?

**I'm not sure either. I think mental pain is worse but when I consider having a tooth drilled w/o novicaine I don't think so. There's really nothing that helps when I'm in the midst of a flare, which thankfully aren't so frequent as they were. I sometimes take hydrocodone but it's more to take my mind off things than anything and I don't like the constipation. Neurontin is supposed to help, but it really doesn't. The cyclical nature, the flu like aches and other fluey symptoms make me suspect it's viral. No one knows. I'm looking into Transfer Factor which is showing alot of promise for immune conditions (which fibro may or may not be), but it's expensive and you have to get the right kind that's targeted for the condition. I'm rapidly going broke from trying out all these wonder cures.
>
> >>I thought St. John's acted on serotonin like ADs and bipolars should stay away from it?

**It's supposed to help with fibro symptoms and I could use a mood boost as well. My husband keeps an eye out for my frenzies, like let's clean out the garage and plant a small organic farm and buy out Home Depot and become a prophesying mystic dance fiend, and, and, and... - not that he can do much about it. I usually don't get it until after the fact. No, that's not true. I know I'm heading there when I start sobbing at the meat counters and lobster tanks in the supermarkets. Maybe I will ask for a zyprexa script. - Barbara

 

Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on May 22, 2004, at 14:51:14

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 21, 2004, at 19:51:01

A friend of mine is taking Zyprexa (or was). I saw him at a party two weeks ago and I thought "god he is acting very strange - soooo intense over the top not making sense looks aged, etc. He's always been a wild card, in and out of rehabs, arrested for drugs, always has something business like going on and is still successful regardless of his criminal/drug record. I asked his cousin, "what's wrong w/ ****? "Oh, didn't he tell you about his spiritual awakening of his heart chakra two weeks ago?" Uh oh. Oh boy.

Thirty minutes into the party, it hit me. "my God, **** is manic!". I need to ask him if he's ever considered that he might be bipolar. But self-disclosure is yet another characteristic of mania. And so during the party he announces, after having been asked if he talked to his father lately (just conversation stuff), he replies, "My Dad's just worried if I'm taking my meds! I apparently got this bipolar dx a couple weeks ago and I agreed to take this zylexa (zyprexa) stuff for ONE week and then stop to show them I'm not. I finally feel good after been depressed all my life and they're trying to medicate me! I've had a spiritual awakening and I don't need medication!" blah blah blah. It was classic. It was so classic that I questioned my own BP dx because this was a classic bipolar case. He wasn't sleeping without xanax and only little then even on zyprexa. he was drinking like a fish saying it helped calm him down.
Anyway, it was interesting to see such a classic case with regard to symptoms, behavior, denial etc.. I talked to him til the morning hours about my past year and dx. he's very adament about not taking meds, he quit Zyprexa and he said "see! I feel even better now w/o it! more energy, etc.". He's still swinging up and he's making not a lot of sense. I could see the faces of the people at the party when he was talking w/ them - strained, tense, wanting to get away, not understanding. It's awful to see and he doesn't realize and won't listen to me or anyone. The best thing I can do and have done is tell him "if it is bipolar, what goes up will come down and it's a scary transition and call me if you need to talk". But of course, he's just calling me to talk talk talk about everything and is exhausting me!

anyway sorry to go on. But i was really curious why the dr. had him take zyprexa to start and not lithium?
Would you take zyprexa if you start to go into a mixed state? I still take Seroquel every night for sleep; not trying to give it up anytime soon.
It works! and i'm sleeping and can't go back to insomnia thank you very much!
Barb-go to that website and start there for info. That's all i have as well.
Keep in touch.
Katia

 

Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on May 22, 2004, at 17:43:47

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat, posted by katia on May 22, 2004, at 14:51:14

Wow, what a story! It hit me because I've been there and done that. The mania in me takes a very intense and mystical flavor. I look at myself in the mirror and my eyes look wild and dilated and I feel pressured to explain what I'm 'sensing' about people and events. It becomes very electrically charged. The weird dark energy is very palpable and so is the incredible Light. This is difficult for others who aren't in my head space and just wanna have a normal good old time. It's frustrating as hell for me because I end up feeling misunderstood and alone and just trying to understand, explain myself and feel included in an alien and hostile world. The weird thing is that I become very opened and attuned to very powerful psychic phenomena and talents that usually lie dormant. A window opens up and the chaos is mixed with incredible focus and soaring insights. But this is a typical boring trait with bipolars, right?

But not so fast... the voices, hallucinations and psychic phenomena also look alot like classic delusional schizoprehia. Which would be fine with me and explain alot EXCEPT for the fact that most of the 'delusions' are remarkably accurate and not delusions at all. This schizoid-ness is what makes me consider an anti-psychotic. But the whole complex is so unpredictable - something that 'visits' me from time to time and then leaves. It's cyclic nature suggests bipolar and the psychosis puts it into the mixed states bag. But I tell ye, I was getting these 'spells' with potent bipolar meds, so it's beyond my ken what it is or what to do. Yes, I'd probably consider Seroquel as the next step if I started feeling a mixed state coming on, mainly for the sleep.

I'm hoping the St. John's and healthy lifestyle and detoxing from mercury will build my strength, trust and give courage to learn the lessons but NOT allow the fear to beat me down. For me, it comes down to having enough energy and finding a fulfilling way to use it. Love and support to us all in this long strange trip we're on. - Barbara



> A friend of mine is taking Zyprexa (or was). I saw him at a party two weeks ago and I thought "god he is acting very strange - soooo intense over the top not making sense looks aged, etc. He's always been a wild card, in and out of rehabs, arrested for drugs, always has something business like going on and is still successful regardless of his criminal/drug record. I asked his cousin, "what's wrong w/ ****? "Oh, didn't he tell you about his spiritual awakening of his heart chakra two weeks ago?" Uh oh. Oh boy.
>
> Thirty minutes into the party, it hit me. "my God, **** is manic!". I need to ask him if he's ever considered that he might be bipolar. But self-disclosure is yet another characteristic of mania. And so during the party he announces, after having been asked if he talked to his father lately (just conversation stuff), he replies, "My Dad's just worried if I'm taking my meds! I apparently got this bipolar dx a couple weeks ago and I agreed to take this zylexa (zyprexa) stuff for ONE week and then stop to show them I'm not. I finally feel good after been depressed all my life and they're trying to medicate me! I've had a spiritual awakening and I don't need medication!" blah blah blah. It was classic. It was so classic that I questioned my own BP dx because this was a classic bipolar case. He wasn't sleeping without xanax and only little then even on zyprexa. he was drinking like a fish saying it helped calm him down.
> Anyway, it was interesting to see such a classic case with regard to symptoms, behavior, denial etc.. I talked to him til the morning hours about my past year and dx. he's very adament about not taking meds, he quit Zyprexa and he said "see! I feel even better now w/o it! more energy, etc.". He's still swinging up and he's making not a lot of sense. I could see the faces of the people at the party when he was talking w/ them - strained, tense, wanting to get away, not understanding. It's awful to see and he doesn't realize and won't listen to me or anyone. The best thing I can do and have done is tell him "if it is bipolar, what goes up will come down and it's a scary transition and call me if you need to talk". But of course, he's just calling me to talk talk talk about everything and is exhausting me!
>
> anyway sorry to go on. But i was really curious why the dr. had him take zyprexa to start and not lithium?
> Would you take zyprexa if you start to go into a mixed state? I still take Seroquel every night for sleep; not trying to give it up anytime soon.
> It works! and i'm sleeping and can't go back to insomnia thank you very much!
> Barb-go to that website and start there for info. That's all i have as well.
> Keep in touch.
> Katia

 

Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on May 22, 2004, at 18:46:51

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 22, 2004, at 17:43:47

Yes, the frustrating lonely part of it is real. I had a real "heart to heart" with him that night and he said that no one understands him, but it's very real and just because people don't get it and understand him doesn't mean it's bipolar. He is very alone. I know people are avoiding him, he told me. He said when I call you ARE you going to answer the phone when you see it's me? Other people have told me to call them if I need to , but don't pick up the phone, etc...
He thinks he is *just* misunderstood. And he is. People don't understand mania. But he doesn't understand that it also IS mania. It even took me 30 minutes of talking to him and shaking my head thinking "he's acting so strange I don't want to be around him" before it occured to me - MANIC!
INteresting to see how this all plays out. I tried convincing him of Lithium for the anti-aging/brain regenerating qualities as he's in to stuff like that. But if I try and persuade at all, he wants to cut off the conversation and questions whether we can be friends because he doesn't want to hear this "nonsense" about medication and his need for it from a friend.

I've never seen such a classic case. I've been reading about it over the past year. I'm definitely NOT like that. I have flavors of it and small tendencies , i.e. BPII, but that to that degree has never been me.

But then again, it's so hard to remember and sort out what's me and what's the BP. I've had powerful mystical experiences too.
All the best-
Katia
p.s. have you checked that other website out?

 

Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on May 23, 2004, at 13:02:01

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat, posted by katia on May 22, 2004, at 18:46:51

Has your friend been getting worse over the last year or this is the normal cycle for him? It sounds like there's a definite biochemical problem, perhaps food allergies, something that's affecting his ability to reason and further destabilizing him.

Something I've seen over and over in people who are naive to their mood disorders is that they are unprepared for really bad times. There hasn't been enough self-examination or compelling need otherwise to educate themselves. It's about making hay when the sun is shining and putting those ducks in order for a rainy day and blah blah. Then when the illnes hits and reasoning goes out the window, at least there's something in place to call upon to remind oneself - 'oh yeah, I recognize this and need extra help right now'. It's like practicing anything or exercising - pumping 'sanity muscles' when you can. Sounds like his sanity muscles are flabby. It's impossible to reason with someone who has lost their clear reasoning ability and may also be physically exhausted.

I find that as long as I'm not drinking I can usually pick up cues from my environment and either adapt or shield myself and withdraw from further aggravation. If I get into a weird place and my thinking gets more muddled, there's nothing I can do. Alcohol becomes my manic rocket engine fuel. It takes over and that's when I do things I later regret. As I look back over really embarrassing dumb-ass things I've done, alcohol or other brain inflaming substances were always involved. It's like this little devil jumps in and just loves to cause trouble. 'Feeding the pain body' that Eckhart Tolle talks about.

It sounds like your friend needs some kind of intervention because he's in deep pain but doesn't have the ability to sort things out and make proper decisions. I can't imagine what that would look like because it's not up to you to take this one on for him. You end up in the position of a 'savior' for that person and a dumping ground for their projections. It can very draining to be around someone who is in a very trying place but refuses to acknowledge their own accountability or necessity to do whatever it takes. Perhaps he has a family member or priest, someone who's willing to take on the responsibility of finding help for him. Proably the only helpful thing you can do for him is help him locate this person or agency since he seems to trust you. But having a person latch on to you when they can't or won't help themselves becomes parasitic.

I had a friend like that who drove everyone away, mainly because of her constant blaming and bitterness about how her life sucked. She soured every event, every gathering, by spewing out this black-hole energy. Yes, she ran around trying everything to get better but was so invested in being right and so addicted to her rage and refusal to look at her own stuff that even her therapist called me (she'd put me down as her 'emergency contact') in desperation and eventually told her he could not help someone who refused to help themselves. She was calling me at all hours and badly needed help but refused to work with it. Even knowing how horrible and lonely it can be, I had to pull away because her sickness was being dumped onto me and sucking me dry. A true psychic vampire. I wonder what's become of her. I believe it would have to take bringing her down to her knees to unravel that hard knot of hatred and obstinancy.

I have gone to the yahoo groups site and am waiting to get an email back with my membership info for the forum. I need to rattle their cage again. I've been looking at the sensitiveperson.com website and finding it very interesting and helpful. Yep, I recognize moi in those pages. If we could channel and focus this stuff and move beyond the highly sensitive pain part, Yowza! Take care, galpal. - Barbara

> Yes, the frustrating lonely part of it is real. I had a real "heart to heart" with him that night and he said that no one understands him, but it's very real and just because people don't get it and understand him doesn't mean it's bipolar. He is very alone. I know people are avoiding him, he told me. He said when I call you ARE you going to answer the phone when you see it's me? Other people have told me to call them if I need to , but don't pick up the phone, etc...
> He thinks he is *just* misunderstood. And he is. People don't understand mania. But he doesn't understand that it also IS mania. It even took me 30 minutes of talking to him and shaking my head thinking "he's acting so strange I don't want to be around him" before it occured to me - MANIC!
> INteresting to see how this all plays out. I tried convincing him of Lithium for the anti-aging/brain regenerating qualities as he's in to stuff like that. But if I try and persuade at all, he wants to cut off the conversation and questions whether we can be friends because he doesn't want to hear this "nonsense" about medication and his need for it from a friend.
>
> I've never seen such a classic case. I've been reading about it over the past year. I'm definitely NOT like that. I have flavors of it and small tendencies , i.e. BPII, but that to that degree has never been me.
>
> But then again, it's so hard to remember and sort out what's me and what's the BP. I've had powerful mystical experiences too.
> All the best-
> Katia
> p.s. have you checked that other website out?

 

Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on May 23, 2004, at 14:36:45

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 23, 2004, at 13:02:01

Hi Barbara,
He's just manic and that's why he can't reason. He's in love with the mania. He feels GREAT and is getting tons done w/ work. I think he's starting to come around to the fact that this COULD be mania; but FORGET about medicating it. It's his first real manic episode. he's just been dxed. He has been depressed all of his life, he says. he's 33. So he is just beginning the game. As they say, it's sometimes hard to dx because bipolars don't seek out help when their manic, only depressed. He will eventually crash. He probably has to just go thru' the ride a few times to get it, that the highs aren't worth the lows. His father took him to get evaluated, brain scan and so forth because of his bizarre behavior. So family is definitely there for him.
Funny that you mention Tolle, he is reading that right now too! It is a great book. I read it a couple of years ago when I was in the midst of my rock bottom hell. I listened to the tapes rather, normally at 4am when sleep wasn't an option.
Thanks for your advice. I'm definitely taking care of myself in relation to him. I don't have to time to be a caregiver to toxic mania anyway.
re: other website. I think you can still peruse the other postings while waiting for your email. Whatis this other website about sensitive people?
Keep in touch!
Katia

 

Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on May 24, 2004, at 0:45:22

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat, posted by katia on May 23, 2004, at 14:36:45

Toxic mania. Very apt. Those who haven't been there think of mania in such romantic terms - a brilliant nutty Lord Byron adventure. I'd love to bottle hypomania but toxic mania is so un-fun for everyone - E.A. Poe on bad acid. Everyone has their path to follow and karma to reap but I hope he doesn't crash and burn too badly. World doesn't need any more walking wounded. Fortunate he's got family there for him.

> Funny that you mention Tolle, he is reading that right now too! It is a great book. I read it a couple of years ago when I was in the midst of my rock bottom hell. I listened to the tapes rather, normally at 4am when sleep wasn't an option.

**"Liberating the Consciousness and Dealing with the Pain Body" is maybe the same tape you listened to. I got alot out of that one, how the pain body needs melodrama and frantic energy as its favorite food and will manufacture nasty events to get it. The ego in other words. I've listened to it probably 6-7 times and again just recently. Its like a whole new talk each time, perfect for what's going on. Very soothing. If you still have the tapes, be interesting to check'em out again.

About the hell you were in. You mentioned you had some terrible experiences after Scotland that led to some dark times. Was this a first time trigger or had it been brewing in other forms?

> re: other website. I think you can still peruse the other postings while waiting for your email. Whatis this other website about sensitive people?

**Funny you should ask. I thought you were the one who turned me onto it. But maybe it was a link from the DSI website. Its very good. Here ya go:

http://www.sensitiveperson.com/

Thanks for introducing me to this new way of looking at things. I like 'highly sensitive person' so much better than the other labels. It gives a sense of hope and even pride ("Yo, I'm not weird, I'm 'highly sensitive' and you should be so lucky!").

BTW, are you still working in the wine restaurant? Probably not with all the other stuff going on. At least I hope not with all the other stuff going on!

> Keep in touch!

**You betcha. Keep me posted about your friend. He's now officially on my prayer list. Here's to God helping those who are willing to help themselves. - Barbara


 

Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on May 24, 2004, at 2:49:15

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 24, 2004, at 0:45:22

>>Very soothing. If you still have the tapes, be interesting to check'em out again.

**Yes, I will when I unpack everything someday soon.

> About the hell you were in. You mentioned you had some terrible experiences after Scotland that led to some dark times. Was this a first time trigger or had it been brewing in other forms?

Oh boy. Long story. Let's just say that my cycles became cyclical (redunant I know); more and more obvious every time and the same circumstances happening each time. But everything being wayyyy more intense each time. So I guess you could say this past time was my rock bottom b/c it was worse because "here we go again, here again when I thought I'd evolved from here" and b/c the crashes get harder as we age I think. (until treatment is implemented). I only sought out a dx and treatment just after this time. I lived in the dark for a long time. Blind to my patterns and cycles. In retrospect, I would have mainly dysthymia, hypomania, disasterous results from (normally an affair and then pregnancy) dealing with the pregnancy (and I say this b/c I know you in cyber terms at least, it was the end of the world for me everytime), and the inevitable crash HARD into a MAJOR depression, and stay there for a good year and then lifts a bit, mild depression, then zippity do da, zippity day, my ole my what a wonderful day! And then crash....but the despair just got worse each time and the suicidal tendencies became greater and the self-inflicting harm got worse. In retrospect, I can actually laugh at how crazy I was in Scotland. I was a classic "nutter".

But enough of that! So in short, yes, I've dealt with this all my life, with it getting progressively worse where I finally couldn't ignore it anymore and sought out help.
and you? How long ago did you seek out help for meds for the first time?

> **Funny you should ask. I thought you were the one who turned me onto it. But maybe it was a link from the DSI website. Its very good. Here ya go:

I was. I just didn't know the sensitive website.


> Thanks for introducing me to this new way of looking at things. I like 'highly sensitive person' so much better than the other labels. It gives a sense of hope and even pride ("Yo, I'm not weird, I'm 'highly sensitive' and you should be so lucky!").

me too. The thing that makes sense to me is meds are addressing and supporting my symptoms of that. And that's ok for me.

> BTW, are you still working in the wine restaurant? Probably not with all the other stuff going on. At least I hope not with all the other stuff going on!

YOu know!? I am. And I"m working TWO jobs now as well! I've been so crazy busy. But I"m doing ok relatively speaking. I've changed soooo much in the past four or so months. I feel like I'm coming into my own finally. It's hard and I feel scared, but it's good. I am on meds, but that's ok. It's my support.

> **You betcha. Keep me posted about your friend. He's now officially on my prayer list. Here's to God helping those who are willing to help themselves. - Barbara

I'm sure he'd appreciate that Barbara. Thanks.
He's family is amazing BTW. I lived w/ his Mom and DAd for two years about five years ago in petaluma on a farm. It was wonderful. I'm best friends now w/ his cousin as well. similar travel experiences.

If you're ever in Cal. we should meet up.
My thoughts are with you.
Love,
Katia

 

My med story katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on May 26, 2004, at 14:37:36

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat, posted by katia on May 24, 2004, at 2:49:15

HI Katia,
> and you? How long ago did you seek out help for meds for the first time?

**I remember periods of weird feelings of sadness and gloom starting at around 10 but my childhood was very difficult because my father was severely mood disordered and was alternately depressed/raging. PLUS toxic Catholicism (from which one never entirely recovers). So I figured my moods were understandable psychological problems given my early conditioning (which they were of course, but not entirely). I was able to maintaine life, school, work, etc., but nothing much helped the severe incapacitating spells that hit now and then. Long term but infrequent cycling with good periods in between. Probably my earliest medication was lots of self-medicating with meth in my late teens. Made me feel better but I know it caused some major brain miswiring. Plus some horrific acid trips taught me how to be nightmare psychotic. No, my druggy hippie daze were not good for my growing brain with my family history. I started in therapy in early 20's and tried Elavil during this time but hated the side effects and was mainly limping along on nothing.

In my early 30's during an awful episode I found a good psychiatrist who prescribed a TCA, Surmontil, and I was amazed at how it pulled me out of a suicidal depression within a few weeks. I then went on to Trazadone which was the new kid on the block - don't remember why I switched because the TCA was working pretty well but I think it started pooping out, plus my shrink retired and I got a 'new school' shrink. Trazadone helped the anxiety part but I was left with a lethargic dysthymia and didn't like the morning tiredness. Switched briefly to Prozac when it first came out but it was too activating - then Zoloft in 1986. It worked pretty well for a few years but the severe depression would always break through and my dose would increase until I was up to 300mg which I think was way too high for a long-term course.

Of course, life doesn't stop and I also had my share of very traumatic incidents throughout my entire life including two near-fatal accidents, a stillbirth, substance abuses, financial, job, and relationship problems, etc. that added to the anxiety level. Soul-less stressful jobs as well, working long hours in more and more demanding positions in high-tech companies (which SUCKED). Arrrghh! Truly challenging life circumstances that went on and on and got more and more complicated with every year. Stress piled upon stress with a growing sense of hopelessness about my ability or desire to cope in a harsh hostile world. I think a person can go through just about anything as long as there's even a little hope. But I had very little, felt unfixable and unlovable. I believe it was this wit's-end hopeless despair that caused things to eventually break.

By mid-90's I was starting to unravel but still maintaining. I'd always had good energy and vitality except for the 'nutter' times, but I think perimenopause started the downhill physical trend, sleeplessness which was always a problem become more so, and the mixed states stuff was becoming more frequent. And let's not forget the nightly coupla glasses of D swampwater to cope! I was shuffling around trying to find a good pdoc but all anyone thought to do was to try another SSRI med and give higher doses when it pooped. I'd stop meds every so often, do OK, then somthing destablizing would happen and I'd get scared enough to try again. My pattern had been healthy stretches and highly functional hypomanias with a crash thrown in now and then, but the panicked mixed states were taking over and eventually stayed pretty constant.

Then in 1999 I went under and had a breakdown and spent 2 weeks in a psych unit. My health really started suffering - I felt toxic and wired and sick - with the eventual fibromyalgia dx. No one can live in that exhausting state for long and something had to break down, as in multiple systems pain/fatigue syndrome that gets called fibromyalgia. I became convinced that there was something off physically and not just the typical depression neurochemicals 'cause what I had wasn't typical 'depression' but something else. I'd been on-top of everything it could possibly be with many doctors - thyroid, candida, epstein-barr, hypoglycemia, lyme disease, mycoplasma, etc., etc. On and on but no remedy ever 'took'. Also tried Zyprexa but it made things worse.

I had to stop working in 2001 and spend alot of time trying to learn and piece things together, follow threads. It was my idea and not any pdoc's that SSRI's didn't seem to be doing me much good, and given what was now known about SSRI's and bipolar and the fact I'd had some whopper hypomanias, perhaps I was Bipolar? I never considered myself bipolar mainly because I'd had a misinformed idea of 'mania'. It didn't occur to me that my father and his family's dysfunction now looks alot like bipolar mixed states. Makes me wonder how things would have evolved had I had a good mood stabilizer instead of only high-dose SSRI's early on.

So, the experiment with lithium and Remeron, then lithium and lamictal began, was pretty good for a time but quit working and lithium exacerbated the hypothyroid. Close but no cigar.

Probably the most successful of my meds were the TCA's but the side effects were intolerable. I suspect our current arsenal of psych meds, no matter the type, dosage or combinations, are not the answer for me and only create additional physical burdens. Since January I'm off everything (even quit recent St. John's Wort trial which was started to spin me into that ol' agitated feeling). I occasionally take Neurontin which helps if I don't take it consistently. Occasional anti-anxiety meds, nutrition, exercise when I can do it, and lifestyle things that calm my nervous system seem to be the keys. Right now I'm concentrating on getting out the mercury (my lab levels were reallly high and that's GOT to be contributing - mad as a hatter).

So my quest is now to answer: What's going on upstream that's keeping this brain/body malfunction locked in? Addressing the symptoms hasn't worked for me. So here I am, barenaked in the psych med department, doing all I can to learn and assist Mama Nature in getting me healthy. Probably the greatest healing has been learning to tolerate and honor the impacted grief and fear that needed to emerge - which it did bigtime this past Winter. Letting it flow up and out transformed alot of that despair and taken away much of the stuck toxicity. Learning to trust that I'm not 'wrong' to feel such pain and proably won't die from it until it inevitably transforms (bless Eckhart Tolle!) has probably been the greatest medicine so far and may end up being worth the getting there. But first the ol' bod had to get alot stronger cause detoxing from all that stuff that wasn't working was a wild ride! And of course, haaving a best friend husband - he surely has his own toxic stuff he's working through, but he and our furry ones have been my rock. I'm amazed he's stuck it through with me.

Well, that was interesting. I think I got more puzzle pieces in the process of recalling all that.
>
> If you're ever in Cal. we should meet up.

**Ohh, that would be a hoot! We'll have to make it so.

 

Re: My med story BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on May 26, 2004, at 16:36:58

In reply to My med story katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 26, 2004, at 14:37:36

Hi Barb,
When first starting to read your first paragraph, I was a little confused as to if I'd written that earilier or if that was you! Such similarities. (Depression starting at 10/11 - and a Catholic upbringing). Altho' my father wasn't mixed and rageful (only ocassional temper tantrums), I think he's dythymic for sure w/ a severe sleep disorder. Love him to death though.

Thanks for your story. While reading it, it just reminded me that we are always in process, hopefully moving towards more and more awareness and "enlightenment" in the process, like a spiral just moving upward. "Been here and here I am again, but at a higher level sort of thing".
sounds like you're giving your body what it needs. A break from dxes and meds. Sometimes we have to start from ground zero with a clean slate in order to sort out what's what.

So the St. John's spun you out agitated-wise?
I wonder about that. Like if it confirms more of your BP dx?
Keep doing what you're doing; it seems to be working and making you well. Furry critters are magical wonder healers.
I've recently adopted my new next-door neighbors neglected and (previously abused by someone else) 8 yr. old black male Pit Bull! I'd never have guessed that this would've ever happened. but we are so in love and he's given me joy and love and an outlet to get out of my head and give to someone else. I'm a mother now! I always had the misconception of Pitbulls. but he is so wonderfully sweet, playful, humorous, funny mannerisms and a big ball of energy - very mindful and wants to please. That's why they get into trouble with the fights. They are a breed that wants to please and bad owners ask them to do these things and they do it.

I'm feeling pretty well. a little exhausted and busy, but possibly found the righ med cocktail (in conjunction with everything else I've been doing). 450mg Trileptal; 6.5 mg of Paxil; 20mg of seroquel. and of course the Carlson's Fish Oil; which I just reduced in half to 6mg from 12mg. I'd been having chronic diahhrea for months and maybe it's correlated with (lots of things) but with an increase in fishoil? who knows. it seems to be working. My bowel movements are getting back to normal. (that you'd like to know ;-)
take care-
Katia

 

Re: My med story katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on May 26, 2004, at 18:20:30

In reply to Re: My med story BarbaraCat, posted by katia on May 26, 2004, at 16:36:58

> Hi Barb,
> When first starting to read your first paragraph, I was a little confused as to if I'd written that earilier or if that was you! Such similarities. (Depression starting at 10/11 - and a Catholic upbringing).

**yep, that was you. I'm not sure about if St. John's was making me feel weepy and despondent but decided to back off and see. Feel pretty good since but these cycles have their own life.

Pitbulls are wonderful critters and so misunderstood! My husband had one - a Staffordshire Terrier which is an American pitbull family. She was an absolute love, loyal and fiercely protective of his ex-wife's child, so smart and funny. Only problem was Pitbull's need to CHEW CHEW CHEW. They have such big strong jaws. She chewed through everything including her wire dogrun cable and a fat wooden post that held up the porch. Such a funny sweetie. Sounds like your baby finally found a good Mommy!

 

Re: My med story BarbaraCat

Posted by harryp on May 28, 2004, at 23:20:37

In reply to My med story katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 26, 2004, at 14:37:36

Hi!

Have you tried a MAOI? Nardil would probably be worth a trial. It is a great AD/antianxiety drug, and it's side effect profile is probably better than most TCA's. MAOI's seem less likely to set off mania than SSRI's, although I would try using a mild MS with it like Lamictal.

See what your doc says...but I agree it's definitely time to try something new. The MAOI's operate totally differently from all other AD's, and should always be considered in persistent depressive illness.

 

Re: My med story BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on May 29, 2004, at 3:10:48

In reply to Re: My med story katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 26, 2004, at 18:20:30

Yes, my baby finally found a good mommy. I just hope I can remain a good mommy and NOT go psycho when the pressures get too much! Pit bulls need loottttsss of attention!

How're you? Have you tried MAO or Mao Ze dung?
just kidding.
keep in touch.
love,
S(katia)

 

Re:lamictal for depression

Posted by Latina on May 30, 2004, at 13:25:31

In reply to Re: My med story BarbaraCat, posted by katia on May 29, 2004, at 3:10:48

has any one out there tried Lamictal and Geodon? I've been on it for about a month and I am better than I've been in years. I have bipolar and fibromyalgia. I've had to quit work as an R.N.I'm not 100% by no means but better. Latina

 

Re:lamictal for depression Latina

Posted by sac on May 30, 2004, at 21:07:23

In reply to Re:lamictal for depression, posted by Latina on May 30, 2004, at 13:25:31

Hi, I am curious about your post because I am currently on Lamictal (for bipolar II) and my doctor has also given me Geodon for it's calming and mood stabilizing properties. I took it once or twice and I did feel calmer at night but I have been reluctant to begin it on a regular basis. Can you elaborate on your experience with this combo and what dosages your on? Thanks. -Stacey

> has any one out there tried Lamictal and Geodon? I've been on it for about a month and I am better than I've been in years. I have bipolar and fibromyalgia. I've had to quit work as an R.N.I'm not 100% by no means but better. Latina

 

Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) St. John

Posted by BeckyB on June 16, 2004, at 19:02:48

In reply to Re: Lamictal side effects, posted by St. John on May 11, 2004, at 15:02:27

> > Isn't it facinating that NONE of the literature indicates that Lamictal has the gastrointestinal complications I'm mentioning--nothing that says like other mood stabilizers, some people have the nasuea/distress. Oh well, got to preserve the market.>>

I've been lurking on this board today because I was just given a Lamictal Rx by a neurologist for off-label treatment of spasticity. I've been on some pretty potent drugs for several years and thought I was immune to the "Oh my lord!" effect of reading the "adverse events" section of drug prescribing info, but the one for Lamictal is in a league of its own, so I've been searching for any real life experiences, which brought me here.

Anyway, the package insert for Lamictal lists nausea, vomiting, dyspepsia, flatulence, gastritis, constipation and diahrrea as possible adverse GI effects. It also includes a "black box" warning (repeated several times) of symptoms of a possibly dangerous hypersensitivy reaction: not just the rash and itchiness that have been mentioned several times on the board, but fever plus swollen lymph glands, even without an evident rash.

The entire insert is on-line at http://us.gsk.com/products/assets/us_lamictal.pdf (but be prepared for an "Oh my lord!" reaction; I'll bet GSK's legal department was more involved in producing it than was their marketing department.)

There's also a discussion of Lamictal pros and cons by a patient at http://www.crazymeds.org/lamictal.html, which points out that "when you look at the PI sheet and actually look at the odds you have a 1 in 10 chance of getting some kind of rash with Lamictal. Not necessarily The Rash, just some random rash." I think he underplays the potential seriousness of a rash (e.g, he says "Once you see the first symptoms and stop taking Lamictal, The Rash goes away and you're safe! Problem solved!" -- not necessarily so, according to the PI. But the site still has good info, including what seems to be a decent translation of some of the incredibly complicated titration/discontinuation schedules recommended by GSK, and potential interations.

 

Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) BeckyB

Posted by barbaracat on June 17, 2004, at 17:24:31

In reply to Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) St. John, posted by BeckyB on June 16, 2004, at 19:02:48

Hello Becky,
I hope you will benefit from some hard-won experience from Lamictal and 'the Rash'. I've related my story in other posts, but if I can do anything to forwarn another, here goes again...

I was on Lam at 75mg for over a year and it seemed to be doing the trick. At least I felt more 'sparkly' and felt it was helping along with 600mg lithium to control my spins into bleak mixed states depression. I was maintaining. Then my life unraveled during a series of personal trajedies. Depression naturally broke through but was becoming debilitating. So, of course, my pdoc suggested raising the Lam and I slowly titrated up to 150mg. With each increase I felt a little more agitated and began to feel an unbearable intense itch, as though little needles were stinging my skin and scalp. I didn't associate it with Lam since there was no visible sign of rash, more like a heightened skin tenderness. I cut back and it subsided somewhat, increase and it came back. Lam had lost its magic and felt inflaming at every level. I stopped taking it in January of this year.

Then in March I began a course of oral DMPS to chelate a high level of mercury toxicity I tested positively for. Most people don't get any reaction to DMPS but it does depend heavily on methylation and detoxing itself can be a heavy drain. I first got severe racking chills, then a fever. But I continued taking it thinking I was coming down with a cold or something. Then came the severe external rash that quickly spread to my internal mucous membranes. Not fun. I ended up with Stevens Johnson Syndrome, spent time in the hospital and was quite ill for 5 weeks. Although it was not directly attributable to the Lam, I feel that the itching and skin sensitivity was a prelude and sensitizing. Something in my chemistry was being constantly irritated. I was being harmed and I was being warned.

I've since found out much about sulfanization, methyl doners, and some of us are genetically deficient in an enzyme needed in this process. But the immune system is pretty adaptable, and as long as it has what it needs, life goes on. Glutathione is what bolsters the immune system to withstand assaults. However, very depressed, stressed, worn out and ill people have been shown to have low glutathione reserves. In other words, one may be genetically predisposed to a particular weakness, in this case, one that depends upon methyl doners and conversions of sulfer type compounds. Lamictal and many other drugs use this pathway. We take hits on our immune system constantly. If there's a hiccup along the way, the immune system can usually handle it, but put enough stress into the picture and it can't manage anymore and inflammation results. Inflammation and it's by-products is the key to a whole host of ills, and a skin rash is just one manifestation. Yes, fever, aches, swollen glands, headaches, are other indications of an inflammatory process. Some people are just flat out allergic to a substance - bee venom, peanuts, etc., and know right away. For some it's a slower acclimation process, an allergy that eventually becomes stronger than a weakened immune system can handle.

In hindsight, I now know that my reaction from Lam was a warning that something was awry. It was the straw and set the stage and now I've become sensitive and allergic to many things I never was before. I've learned alot and am now taking nutrients that support the methylation process and my liver and dextox pathways, but I don't know if this is the answer or not. Recovery has been very slow.

You could research deep into the bowels of genetic mutations, thiol groups, cytokines and mast cell involvement until you're up every night until the wee hours. It's very interesting but time's a-wasting. It's enough to know that if you get any kind of adverse inflammatory condition from a med - DON'T IGNORE IT. A 'little rash' is a warning that something ain't kosher with this substance. A big red flag should wave if a doctor tells you, 'oh it's just a small rash and will go away so continue taking your meds'. Grill your doctor - what do they really know other than what the drug companies literature tells them. They're not in the trenches.

Stevens Johnson has been a relatively rare occurrence, but hospital ERs and Urgent Cares are seeing a disturbing rise in cases and they are concerned about indiscrimate prescribing of anti-convulsants. Kids especially are very suseptible. And it's not just Lamictal. Depakote has a bad track record here too. We take these meds so trustingly. I've come to realize that most docs do not have in-depth expertise. It's really up to us to be accountable to our bodies.

Most experience nothing and enjoy the meds many benefits. Maybe the symptoms just mean you're coming down with a flu, contracted a rash somewhere, can shake off a minor allergic reaction. But caution is always necessary. Any rash, weird itch, inflamed touchy skin thing, fever, chills, gland involvement is INFLAMMATION and is your body's way of saying 'Hey! SOMETHING IS WRONG!!'. It might be your medication. That doesn't mean stop all at once, but by all means, reduce your exposure to the allergen. Put it this way - if you suddenly realize you've been sitting in a patch of poison oak, it would be wise to beat cheeks out of there. But you know, most people really don't listen to any of this, and probably hope that living in a patch of poison oak will be preferable to living with depression. - Barbara

> > > Isn't it facinating that NONE of the literature indicates that Lamictal has the gastrointestinal complications I'm mentioning--nothing that says like other mood stabilizers, some people have the nasuea/distress. Oh well, got to preserve the market.>>
>
> I've been lurking on this board today because I was just given a Lamictal Rx by a neurologist for off-label treatment of spasticity. I've been on some pretty potent drugs for several years and thought I was immune to the "Oh my lord!" effect of reading the "adverse events" section of drug prescribing info, but the one for Lamictal is in a league of its own, so I've been searching for any real life experiences, which brought me here.
>
> Anyway, the package insert for Lamictal lists nausea, vomiting, dyspepsia, flatulence, gastritis, constipation and diahrrea as possible adverse GI effects. It also includes a "black box" warning (repeated several times) of symptoms of a possibly dangerous hypersensitivy reaction: not just the rash and itchiness that have been mentioned several times on the board, but fever plus swollen lymph glands, even without an evident rash.
>
> The entire insert is on-line at http://us.gsk.com/products/assets/us_lamictal.pdf (but be prepared for an "Oh my lord!" reaction; I'll bet GSK's legal department was more involved in producing it than was their marketing department.)
>
> There's also a discussion of Lamictal pros and cons by a patient at http://www.crazymeds.org/lamictal.html, which points out that "when you look at the PI sheet and actually look at the odds you have a 1 in 10 chance of getting some kind of rash with Lamictal. Not necessarily The Rash, just some random rash." I think he underplays the potential seriousness of a rash (e.g, he says "Once you see the first symptoms and stop taking Lamictal, The Rash goes away and you're safe! Problem solved!" -- not necessarily so, according to the PI. But the site still has good info, including what seems to be a decent translation of some of the incredibly complicated titration/discontinuation schedules recommended by GSK, and potential interations.

 

Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) barbaracat

Posted by BeckyB on June 17, 2004, at 17:55:16

In reply to Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) BeckyB, posted by barbaracat on June 17, 2004, at 17:24:31

Many thanks, Barbara. My neurologist is pretty familiar with Lamictal since it's used for epilepsy, and his emailed instructions to me included: "REPORT ANY RASH PROMPTLY" (his "shouting", not mine).

 

Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) barbaracat

Posted by katia on June 18, 2004, at 14:17:02

In reply to Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) BeckyB, posted by barbaracat on June 17, 2004, at 17:24:31

Hi Barb,
How's it going? You are always such a wealth of information. I briefly did a little research on glutathione and it is interesting. About a month ago I did a round with milk thistle as suggested by you. I sometimes do this as I know my liver takes a beating. But I didn't realize how important glut. was. Besides whey protein, what other ways can one increase it? What are you doing now with supplements and diet?
Katia

 

Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) katia

Posted by barbaracat on June 18, 2004, at 15:47:45

In reply to Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) barbaracat, posted by katia on June 18, 2004, at 14:17:02

Hi Katia,
Glute is majorly important, not only for general immune health, but some studies have found that it's low in depression - chicken or egg, who knows. Mood disorders sure use up alot of energy. It isn't easily supplemented by itself and seems to work better using precursors. The brand I use, ala naturopath, is Glutathione Precursors by CFS Nutrition (www.cfsn.com). Has N-acetyl-cysteine 257mg, l-glutamic acid 128mg, L-glycine 64mg.

I was taking Immunocal whey protein because I was told that it was the best 'whey' to get glute, better than the precurser route. In fact, this was from someone who stressed that glute was really important in building up stores of stamina and strength to get off ADs and the stress caused by depression. I may go back to it in addition to the precursers.

How am I doing? Doing OK, today at least, but yesterday was a bear. It happens when I overextend, don't meditate, get hyper and forget to breathe. Sometimes I simply don't believe that all things pass. Being out of work can be really hard at times. Isolating and stuck. I end up feeling like nothing is getting accomplished or changing, life is a waste, I'll end up poor, sick and alone -- all those dark bag-lady thoughts. But I slept well, it's a new day and life seems kinder.

I'm back on St. John's Wort cause I was drowning in depression. But I've started taking lithium orotate as well and I think it's offsetting the jaggies from SJW. In fact, it's helping alot. I don't think it's a good idea for us bipolars to not be on something. I come back to that every time I try to be pure and natural. I'm only taking 2 li orotate pills a day which is a teeny amount compared to the 600mg lithium carbonate I was on before. It's reputed to be better bioavailable than li carb, which some say is hooey, but I think there may be something to it. I'm not getting any of the lithium side-effects either and hopefully my thyroid won't get dinged like it did on the other. I tried lith orotate last year but didn't feel it was strong enough at the time, especially since I'd stopped li carb and was in the midst of major hypomania. It wasn't enough to pull me out. Recently, with all the detox and lifestyle changes I think I'm in a better position to benefit from it.

My diet is pretty good. Healthy but nothing radical and try to keep it simple. Fresh veggies, fish, chicken, mainly organic, very little sugar. I cook and eat at home mainly, not having many worthwhile eateries nearby, just the usual smalltown watering holes. I'm also taking folic acid 800mg twice a day since it's supposed to be a good antidepressant, sublingual methylcobalamin B12 ditto as an AD and it's the only kind that gets taken into the brain. 1 T Carlson's fish oil, 6M Vit C and a bunch of the usual vitamins and antioxidants like extra CoQ. Taking 1.5 grains natural thyroid and a compounded hormone cream. Ambien to sleep. That's about it, except for periodic neurontin. As long as I don't take it all the time, it helps with occasional real bad anxiety.

I'm also doing a mercury chelation protocol using NDF products (www.bioray2000.com). I sure hope it does the trick. NDF has a good rep and supposedly pulls the mercury out of the brain, which DMPS does not (plus the Stevens Johnson I got from it sucked). So far (3 weeks) I've noticed a lessening in my leg pains and electrical muscle 'pops' that are supposedly mercury caused. We'll see. I know you had your amalgams pulled a while back and it didn't make much of a diff. I don't think I'll go that route. Don't have that many exposed amalgams and I can't afford it anyway. Have you ever had your mercury levels checked? Mine were extremely high and it can't be doing me much good. In fact, I think it's fouling up everything else I try, clogging receptor sites, and responsible for my fibro symtpoms. Of course, exercise is hands down the best thing of all, but I can't (or won't) always do it. Seems like beating a dying horse sometimes.

How are you doing? Sure hope you're still feeling on the upswing or at least steady. It seemed your current medication mix was helping. What's your protocol these days as far as meds and nutritionals?

How's school going? I was signed up for some dance classes but had a crash for a week. Of course, always happens. I'll still go when I can though cause can't let this stuff continue to keep me a recluse. How are you doing with the swampwater and bitches blood? I can't abstain. I just can't and have to admit it. As long as it's moderate and not abusing and I can hold it to a few times a week, it's good enough. Also, wine seems to affect me worse than spirits, so I'm trying to make do with vodka or tequila instead of vino. But it's chardonnay I crave.


> How's it going? You are always such a wealth of information. I briefly did a little research on glutathione and it is interesting. About a month ago I did a round with milk thistle as suggested by you. I sometimes do this as I know my liver takes a beating. But I didn't realize how important glut. was. Besides whey protein, what other ways can one increase it? What are you doing now with supplements and diet?
> Katia

 

Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) barbaracat

Posted by katia on June 18, 2004, at 18:39:56

In reply to Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) katia, posted by barbaracat on June 18, 2004, at 15:47:45


> I was taking Immunocal whey protein because I was told that it was the best 'whey' to get glute, better than the precurser route. In fact, this was from someone who stressed that glute was really important in building up stores of stamina and strength to get off ADs and the stress caused by depression. I may go back to it in addition to the precursers.

Hi Barbara,
I may go this route as I know my body is rundown from the past few months, not to mention all of my life before this busy time. I'm feeling like I want to live and appreciate this life and fall in love with it and am hoping all the darkness and destruction hasn't already taken it's toll on my body - disease-wise. So I"m trying to implement some support and I seem to be so good at implementing the destructive stuff, like stress, cigs, and alcohol, and coffee.

>
> How am I doing? Doing OK, today at least, but yesterday was a bear. It happens when I overextend, don't meditate, get hyper and forget to breathe.

**That's me too. I hate to have to be so hypervigliant about "taking good care of myself".

> I'm back on St. John's Wort cause I was drowning in depression. But I've started taking lithium orotate as well and I think it's offsetting the jaggies from SJW. In fact, it's helping alot. I don't think it's a good idea for us bipolars to not be on something. I come back to that every time I try to be pure and natural. I'm only taking 2 li orotate pills a day which is a teeny amount compared to the 600mg lithium carbonate I was on before. It's reputed to be better bioavailable than li carb, which some say is hooey, but I think there may be something to it. I'm not getting any of the lithium side-effects either and hopefully my thyroid won't get dinged like it did on the other. I tried lith orotate last year but didn't feel it was strong enough at the time, especially since I'd stopped li carb and was in the midst of major hypomania. It wasn't enough to pull me out. Recently, with all the detox and lifestyle changes I think I'm in a better position to benefit from it.

** good to hear that Li. Oratate is helping you. Sounds like there is more balance happening in your life.

**Do you take AMbien every night? I'm still on Seroquel and can't seem to find a reason to stop taking something that works.

>Have you ever had your mercury levels checked? Mine were extremely high and it can't be doing me much good. In fact, I think it's fouling up everything else I try, clogging receptor sites, and responsible for my fibro symtpoms. Of course, exercise is hands down the best thing of all, but I can't (or won't) always do it. Seems like beating a dying horse sometimes.


*Nope I haven't. I don't have insurance so I can't see it happening anytime soon. I'm kinda getting to a point where I'm tired of thinking of things that could possibly cause me to be me; even though when it gets bad enough, I can't help but look for reasons as a way out of hell.

I suppose my current med cocktail must be doing something for me. 450mg Trileptal 12.5 Paxil and 25mg of Seroquel and 1 tbl spoon Carlson's. I've recently started to do yoga again (which i have to go soon so I"ll make this short(ish).
I'm just done with therapy, coaching, self-help stuff. I need a break and read fiction and stare into the sky and day dream and walk my dog. I've taken another break in grad school and made some changes which I'll go into later. I'm eliminating things now as I took too much on.

>
> How's school going? I was signed up for some dance classes but had a crash for a week. Of course, always happens. I'll still go when I can though cause can't let this stuff continue to keep me a recluse.

**I know what you mean. I've own two belly dancing skirts from times of starting and never following through.

**Swamp water occasionally and skunk's blood more often. But normally no more than 1-3 gl. I've been drinking quite a bit over the past few months, but as I stated above - nothing too excessive in one sitting. But too much for me overall. Now I'm taking at least two/three nights "off" a week. Last night I had 1 1/2 and didn't want anymore. I'm starting to feel more centered and when that happens, I don't drink as much.
Keep in touch. Gotta run.
Katia

 

Re: Bcat and Katia posts and lamictal

Posted by Malthus on July 28, 2004, at 7:02:32

In reply to Re: Lamictal side effects (GI, The Rash others) barbaracat, posted by katia on June 18, 2004, at 18:39:56

Hi Barbaracat and Katia:

I've just spent the past forty five minutes reading your posts to each other and learned so much. (woke up at 5:45 am, didn't get to bed until 2:30am, pretty sure it's the effects of Lam 75mg.) You are both such creative writers! I have a question about Ambien 25.mg/1 at night. My doctor prescribed it last week when she took me from 50 mg. to 75 mg of Lam., but said it was only for the times for when I need to reach into the medicine cabinet because I can't sleep (only prescribed 20 pills). I've been staying up so late at night because I have all this energy which is unusual for me as I'm usually so depressed that sleep is the only relief. She is conservative and says that it's only a short term medication. Well, I've been using it every night (one 25mg. pill). I STILL have trouble falling asleep. How long have you been on the Ambien (can't remember if it was Bcat or Katia). Hope you read this as your last posts on this topic were a while ago. Thanks for your input. Malthus

 

Re: Bcat and Katia posts and lamictal Malthus

Posted by katia on July 28, 2004, at 21:24:55

In reply to Re: Bcat and Katia posts and lamictal, posted by Malthus on July 28, 2004, at 7:02:32

> Hi Barbaracat and Katia:
>
> I've just spent the past forty five minutes reading your posts to each other and learned so much. (woke up at 5:45 am, didn't get to bed until 2:30am, pretty sure it's the effects of Lam 75mg.) You are both such creative writers! I have a question about Ambien 25.mg/1 at night. My doctor prescribed it last week when she took me from 50 mg. to 75 mg of Lam., but said it was only for the times for when I need to reach into the medicine cabinet because I can't sleep (only prescribed 20 pills). I've been staying up so late at night because I have all this energy which is unusual for me as I'm usually so depressed that sleep is the only relief. She is conservative and says that it's only a short term medication. Well, I've been using it every night (one 25mg. pill). I STILL have trouble falling asleep. How long have you been on the Ambien (can't remember if it was Bcat or Katia). Hope you read this as your last posts on this topic were a while ago. Thanks for your input. Malthus

Hi,
I'm not the one who took ambien, it's BarbCat. Sorry i can't help you. I know for me Lamictal was activating in a euphoric way the first time I took it and the second time it was dysphoric and I had to stop. Maybe the side effects of Lam. will wear off. If not, maybe try something else? or use something to help you sleep if it's working for you. I use Seroquel for sleep and it works. Barb tried it and it didn't work for her.
Thanks for the compliment on my writing! I"m not feeling too creative at the moment as my dog just passed away last week and my heart is broken now.
Good luck with your meds.
Katia

 

Re: Bcat and Katia posts and lamictal katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on July 28, 2004, at 23:35:06

In reply to Re: Bcat and Katia posts and lamictal Malthus, posted by katia on July 28, 2004, at 21:24:55

Oh Katia,
Oh, I am so sorry. Your little pup. I'd grown to love the little critter - he just reached out over the waves. My heart is with you and I know yours is with me.

My wonderful kitty just passed away tonight. My little Merlin was so sick, hanging on for love of life and his folks. He just got so sick and we had our wonderful vet come and send him into the great beyond, the great Adventure. Oh, Katia. Talk to me, sweetie. We have so much in common, my dear sister. Love, Barbara
>


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